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Afghanistan: Difference between revisions

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{{achtung|KNELT TO THE TALIBAN GIGACHAD}}
<br>
{{welfare}}
<br>
<!--{{offendedMuslims}}-->
<br>
{{corner|[[File:Tali_Flag.gif|210px|]]}}
<br>
{{ib|[[Image:TalibanFlagPlant.jpg|thumb|center|270px|2000 YEARS UNDEFEATED]]}}
{{ibhead|<big>'''Afghanistan'''</big>}}
{{ibrow|'''Name'''|Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan <br> د افغانستان اسلامي امارت (Pasto)<br> امارت اسلامی افغانستان (Dari)}}
{{ibrow|'''National Anthem'''|''Da da Batorano Kor''}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motto'''|[[Islam#Becoming a Muslim|لا إله إلا الله، محمد رسول الله]]}}
{{ibrow|'''Goverment'''|[[Islam#Sharia|Islamic Theocracy]] Emirate}}
{{Ibrow|'''Capital'''|Kabul}}
{{ibrow|'''[[Independence Day]]'''|August 15, 2021}}
{{ibrow|'''Leader'''|Hibatullah Akhundzada (Supreme Leader)}}
{{ibrow|'''Ethic Groups'''|'''Majority''': Pashto, Tajik <br> '''Minority''': Hazara, Aimaq, and Turkic Peoples}}
{{ibrow|'''Currency'''|[[Circular Logic|Afghan Afghani]]}}
{{ibrow|'''Religion'''|Islam (Almost all of them)<br> Very tiny non-Muslim minorities}}
{{ibrow|'''Population'''|40 Million}}
{{Ibend}}
The '''Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan''', also known as '''Talibanistan''' is the actual Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, and the Birthplace of Toxic Masculinity <s>unlike the fat-ass godless America who are invading them</s> LOL defeated and they were the culprit of the mess in the country! The country is inhabited by Pro-patriarchy masculine gigachad [[Jihad|mujahideen]] who are strong enough to kick the US invaders out from the country thanks to their strong faith in [[Islam]] and rejects feminism, secularism, and other liberal ideas entirely.


{{achtung|[http://bit.ly/9Ni0OL ALL FUCKING PEDOPHILES]}}
Afghanistan is also known as the "Graveyard of Empires", America being its latest victim. Various empires throughout history have been unable to defeat these brave poor farmers such as the [[British|Bri'ishs]], and the [[Soviet|Soviets]].


[[Image:Afghanistan.jpg|thumb|right|Friggin' teams are stacked.]]
The official currency unit is the goat. one goat being convertible into [http://observers.france24.com/en/20160804-afghanistan-underage-girl-sold-marriage one six-year-old child bride on the open market.]
 
The [[fail|Occupied Islamic State]] of '''Afghanistan''', also known as "Jihadistan", has been home to [[drugs]], conflicts, dirty terrorists, much [[Muslim]] [[drama]], devoid morality and a fat-ass US invasion force.


== History ==
== History ==
[[Image:AfDesert.jpg|250px|thumb|center|Kabul, Afghanistan's largest city.]]
<br>
Despite being named Afghanistan, Afghanistan is the home of the Pashtuns, also known as the distance relative of [[Germans]] 卐. Afghanistan was created by the ejaculation of [[Bill Nye]] (as he whacked off to the remembrance of the time he nailed Soledad O'Brien) that landed on an unknown dry mildew growing on donkey shit.<!--Throughout most of Afghanistan's history, it's been called "that other [[Pakistan|piece of shit]] between [[Iran|Persia]] and [[India]]."-->
Afghanistan's history is like one long, brutal "keep out" sign that everyone ignores. It starts with Alexander the Great showing up like he's on a world tour, thinking he can just waltz in and take over. Spoiler: He couldn't. Fast forward, and you’ve got a parade of empires—Mongols, Persians, Mughals—all trying to claim the place like it’s prime real estate, but nobody can hang onto it for long. When Russian and British [[Shit|Imperialism]] hit Central Asia (the ''Great Game''), the whole place became [[United Kingdom]]'s bitch. However, Afghanistan was the only country that pwned the British invaders and every other empire that has attempted to [[rape]] them <s>except the U.S./Canada but the only reason why they didn't is because they used them to kick out [[Osama bin Laden]] and [[friends]]</s> [[No]]. After that, they plan on turning back into what they were before; a narco-terrorist shithole who's only contribution to the world is decent heroin, innovations in buttrape, and lousy taxi drivers. A country that, if it weren't for everyone carrying an AK-47, would look very much like it did in the 12th century.


[[Image:AfDesert.jpg|thumb|left|Kabul, Afghanistan's largest city.]]
Afghanistan is also home of the true and real Aryans, not the trailer trash white people you see in North America or the cavebitch skinhead wannabes in [[Europe]]. Afghanistan was also known as Aryana, a state of [[Persia]] before they separated due to [[religion]] and [[Arabs]] conquering them in the chest. The true Aryans are the Pashtuns and Tajiks, but the Mongolian left overs called "Hazaras" are common chinks with a little bit of ''other'' merged into their genome. Recently they have been enjoying freedom from their former Pashtun masters who enslaved them.


Despite being named Afghanistan, Afghanistan is the home of the Pashtuns also known as barbarian nazis 卐. Afghanistan was created by the ejaculation of [[Bill Nye]] as he whacked off to the remembrance of the time he nailed Soledad O'Brien.  Throughout most of Afghanistan's history, it's been called "that piece of shit country between [[Iran|Persia]] and [[India]]." When European [[Shit|Imperialism]] hit Central Asia (the ''Great Game''), none of that mattered because the whole place became [[England]]'s bitch. However, Afghanistan is the only country that has pwned every invader <s>except the U.S./Canada but the only reason why they didn't is because they used them to kick out [[Osama bin Laden]] and [[friends]]</s> [[No]]. After that, they plan on turning back into what they were before; a narco-terrorist shithole who's only contribution to the world is decent heroin and lousy taxi drivers. A country that, if it weren't for everyone carrying an AK-47, would look very much like it did in the 12th century.
In recent history, Osama Bin Laden fell in love with the country and took it over with his Taliban. A month before [[9/11]], the Afghan Army was planning to attack the US with its [[jihad|mujahideen]], but it failed hard. One month later <s>they blew up the World Trade Center</s> (everyone knows [[Jews did WTC]], not [[Muslims]]). Butthurt, the US declared war on Afghanistan. After years of looking for Bin Laden, the Americans got tired but remained "devoted" to the cause by leaving the Canadian army in charge. The Canadians have since then installed [[anal|peace and order]] and [[rape|rule]] over the country from their dark and untakeable fortress in Kandahar Airbase, where they enjoy playing cards, torturing prisoners and playing hockey.


[[Afghanistan]] is also home of the true and real Aryans, not the trailer trash white people you see in North America or the skinhead wannabe's in [[Europe]]. [[Afghanistan]] was also known as Aryana, a state of [[Persia]] before they separated due to [[religion]] and [[Arabs]] [[raping]] them in the [[ass]]. The true Aryans are  the pashtuns and tajiks, but the Mongolian left overs called "Hazaras" are chinks. Recently they have been enjoying freedom from their former Pashtun masters who enslaved them.
===Reoccupied by the Taliban===
[[Image:TalibanIslamicEmirate.jpg|300p|thumb|center|Your American tax dollars at work, gone to good use for once]]
<br>
As of 2021, after the withdrawal of U.S. forces, the Taliban quickly planted their flag in most major Afghan cities, the capital, Kabul, was also eaten. It was only a matter of time before Afghanistan becomes a Sharia theocracy again, given the trend of the previous Islamic Republic leaders slowly leaving the country to run.


In recent history, Osama Bin Laden fell in love with the country and took it over with his Taliban. In August 2001 the Afghan Army was planning to attack the US with its [[jihad|mujaheddin]], but it failed hard. One month later <s>they blew up the World Trade Center</s> (everyone knows [[Jews did WTC]], not sandniggers). Butthurt, the U.S. declared war on Afghanistan. After years of looking for Bin Laden the Americans got tired but remained "devoted" to the cause by leaving the Canadian army in charge. The Canadians have since then installed [[anal|peace and order]] and [[rape|rule]] over the country from their dark and untakeable fortress in Kandahar Airbase, where they enjoy playing cards, torturing prisoners and playing hockey.
===Recap===
#Nothing happens
#Nothing happens
#Nothing happens
#Arab [[Muslims]] willingly convert them from [[Buddhism]] to Islam, then in turn the now-converted Afghans raeped their Pajeet counterparts
#Nothing happens
#Nothing happens
#Nothing happen
#[[Asking for it|British come]]
#[[Wut?|ONE British leaves]] [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacre_of_Elphinstone%27s_army (Seriously!)] ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Anglo-Afghan_War +16,500 killed <s>or wounded</s>])
#[[Asking for it|British come]]
#[[Banned|British leave]] ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Anglo-Afghan_War +1,630 killed or wounded])
#[[Asking for it|British come]]
#[[pwnt|British leave]] ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Anglo-Afghan_War +1,751 killed or wounded ])
#Afghanistan is a monarchy
#Afghanistan goes atheist/communist
#Pashtuns get [[butthurt]]
#Mujahideen forms with US help to fight communism
#[[Asking for it|Soviets come]]
#[[pwnt|Soviets leave]] ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_war_in_Afghanistan +67,000 killed or wounded])
#Kabul falls to the mujahideen. A Pashtun and a Hazara get butt hurt and fighting ensues.(90% of the population in Kabul die).
#Mujahideen evolved into Taliban to fight [[pr0n|Western influence]]
#Taliban start leading country [[moralfag|based off Islamic law]]  
#[[Asking for it|Americans come in]], kill current leaders and appoint a puppet president
#But in order to make the puppet legal, they stage an election and he wins with 55%.
#Next election noone who voted before shows up, quarter of all votes get discarded, [[over 9000|millions]] of votes get added, ballot box intimidation... and the puppet wins with 90%
#But in order to make it seem more legitimate, there is a reelection... in which the opponent is forced to back out
#US loses massive amounts of money [[doing it wrong|by first funding the terrorists and then fighting them]]
#Taliban pyrrhic victory
#[[????]]
#[[Profit!]] (for the [[jews]])
<s>Where is the fucking profit?</s>


Since there are no telephones or [[internets]] in Afghanistan most people rely on smoke signals for communications. Families that are rich enough have a donkey or flying carpet to visit family across the country. But since one place in this shitty country is as bad as any other, not much travel takes place.
==Demographics==
[[Image:Afghan woman with green eyes.jpg|center|thumb|Afghan [[jailbait]]]]
<br>
Afghanistan contains about 29.8 million people with beards and turbans on their heads, and a few confused lost [[wiggers]]. Afghan women all have to wear oversized binbags, although whether this is due to the Islamist attitude of the populace or the general fugliness of the women is debated.  


==Demographics==
They have dozens of ethnic groups including the pashtuns, hazaras (chinks), Tajiks and Uzbeks (Chinks)


[[Image:Afghan woman with green eyes.jpg|thumb|Afghan [[jailbait]]]]
In [[Godwin's Law]], Afghanistan is the origin of the Aryan race, as proved by this one little white girl from Afghanistan. Historically, the Aryans invaded early civilization on the [[India|Indus Valley]] and asspwned the dark skinned yet ironically more intelligent inhabitants, giving them the [[Hindu|Vedas]] and the [[shit nobody cares about|Indo-European]] influenced language. If you are wondering why, if those dark skinned people were so intelligent, they got utterly pwned; shut up you racist.


Afghanistan contains about 15 million people with beards and diapers on their heads, and a few confused lost [[wiggers]]. The women all have to wear oversized binbags, although whether this is due to the [[Gay|vaginaphobic]] attitude of the populace or the general fugliness of the women is debated. According to [[Godwin's Law]], Afghanistan is the origin of the Aryan race, as proved by this one little white girl from Afghanistan. Historically, the Aryans invaded early civilization on the [[India|Indus Valley]] and asspwned the dark skinned yet ironically more intelligent inhabitants, giving them the [[Hindu|Vedas]] and the [[shit nobody cares about|Indo-European]] influenced language. If you are wondering why, if those dark skinned people were so intelligent, they got utterly pwned; shut up you racist.
[[Image:Afghanhound.jpg|center|250px|thumb|More Afgan [[jailbait]]]]


==Geography==
==Geography==
The terrain of the country is highly unknown as the Arab turn into werewolves at night and raep outsiders [[in the ass]].
The terrain of this country is lots of [[Cock|mountains]] and landlocked. the civilians turn into werewolves at night and raep outsiders [[in the ass]]. An Afghan [[feminazi]] bandit described Afghanistan's terrain as:
 
A [[feminist|rape survivor]] described Afghani terrain as:
 
*[[Shit|Dirt]]
*[[Shit|Dirt]]
*Caves
*Caves
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*More dirt
*More dirt
*[[Your Mom]]
*[[Your Mom]]
*[[Rape]]
*Opium fields  
*Opium fields  
*Blown up apc's
*Lots of Humvees
*Dead Marines
*Caves
*Caves
*Dead [[lol|Talibans]]
*[[lol|Talibans]] corpses, both in the land and in the caves too
*Dead [[lol|Talibans]] in caves
*Mass graves
*Burned out Humvees
*[[Trying too hard|Over 9,000 at least 100 years old]] Soviet tanks
*[[Trying too hard|Over 9,000 at least 100 years old]] Soviet tanks
*Caves
*Caves
*Landmines
*Caves
*Caves
*Even moar Dirt
*Even moar dirt
 
[[Image:Afghanhound.jpg|thumb|More Afgan [[jailbait]]]]


==Leaders==
==Leaders==
The only known leader of Afghanistan that was known until now was [[Osama bin Laden]], who is most known for being a local and American hero and humanitarian. In 2001, he was agonizingly framed for masterminding [[9/11]]. Laden was later ruthlessly murdered in the attack of the [[NATO]] as he tried to save his fellow humans from the evils of western imperialism. When his death was confirmed, the country bowed down to the Canadian lead [[zerg rush|invader forces]]. Since then, the provisional [[Xenu|dark emperor]] claimed the country in the name of [[Jews|Zionist-occupied Goverment]].


The only known leader of Afghanistan that was known until now was [[Osama Bin Laden]], who is most known for being a [[fail|ruthless terrorist]] and [[lulz]] exporter. In 2001 he was unfortunately killed in the attack of the [[Jews]] as he tried to save his fellow humans from [[9/11]]. When his death was confirmed, the country bowed down to the Canadian lead [[zerg rush|invader forces]]. Since then, the provisional [[Xenu|dark emperor]] claimed the country in the name of the [[Canada]].
Since the fall of the [[Oxymoron|Islamic Republic]], Taliban Emir and Mullah, Hibatullah Akhundzada has led the country with his [[Islam#Sharia|Sharia]]-ruling theocracy.
 
Let's recap:
#Afghanistan is a monarchy
#Afghanistan is atheist/communist
#Mujaheddin forms with US help to fight communism
#Soviets come
#Soviets leave
#Mujaheddin start leading country according to Islamic law
#Mujaheddin become Taliban to fight Western influence
#Americans come in, kill current leaders and appoint a president
#But in order to make the puppet legal, they stage an election and he wins with 55%.
#Next election noone who voted before shows up, quarter of all votes get discarded, millions of votes get added, ballot box intimidation... and the puppet wins with 90%
#But in order to make it seem more legitimate, there is a reelection... in which the opponent is forced to back out
#US loses massive amounts of money by first funding the terrorists and then fighting them


<s>Where is the fucking profit?</s> The profit is a lie.
==Infastructures and Technologies==
 
[[Image:AfghanTechnology.jpg|thumb|250px|right|Afghanistan is well known for its [[old media|modern]] industrial and [[gun|technological]] economy.]]
==Afghans? in my internets?==
Until somewhere in 2010s, there were no telephones or [[internets]] in Afghanistan, and most people rely on smoke signals for communications. Families that are rich enough have a camel, horse or even flying carpet to visit family across the country. But since one place in this masculine country is as based as any other, not much travel takes place.
 
[[Image:Onstickam.jpg|thumb|A Taliban activist found on [[Stickam]].]]


===Afghans? in my internets?===
[[Image:Onstickam.jpg|thumb|center|250px|A Taliban fighter found on [[Stickam]].]]
[[Image:Talibansingles.jpg|250px|right|thumb|Sexy Ladies!]]
<br>
It's more likely than you think. Just look at the following websites taken over by the Afghans. They all redirect to some low budget Persian Afghani music videos. It may be many different videos, or all the same one. We really can't tell.  
It's more likely than you think. Just look at the following websites taken over by the Afghans. They all redirect to some low budget Persian Afghani music videos. It may be many different videos, or all the same one. We really can't tell.  
 
Behold the fearmsome soldiers of the taliban.
*http://www.futabachannel.com
*http://www.futabachannel.com
*http://www.futabachannel.net
*http://www.futabachannel.net
Line 89: Line 135:


Add more if you see any. We don't know whats going on but it is pretty scary.
Add more if you see any. We don't know whats going on but it is pretty scary.
==Taliban Copypasta==
"What the fuck did you just fucking say about Allah, you little infidel? Ill have you know I finished top of my group in the Taliban training camp, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the US military, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in hostage taking and I'm the top mujahideen in the entire world. You are nothing to me but just another kafir. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Allah’s Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, faggot, As we speak I am contacting my secret network of mujahideen across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, infidel. The storm that wipes out the blasphemous little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be in the Centre of Mecca, during prayer time, and I can stone you in over 40 ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in Taliban army, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Taliban and Al-Qaeda and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Allah’s creation, you kafir. If only you could have known what haram retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the jizyah. wallahi, I will shit my wrath all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, Kuffar."


==Famous Afghan exports==
==Famous Afghan exports==
[[Image:AfghanTechnology.jpg|thumb|left|Afghanistan is well known for its [[old media|modern]] industrial and [[gun|technological]] economy.]]
*The Afghan Hound
*The Afghan Hound
*The Afghan Coat
*The Afghan Coat
*The Afghan Whigs
*Afghan wigs
*Afghan Carpets
*Afghan Carpets
*The Afghan Afghani, the official currency of Afghanistan
*The Afghan Afghani, the official currency of Afghanistan
*The Afghan Snowball [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=afgan+snowball]
*[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=afgan+snowball The Afghan Snowball]
*Afghan Goo
*Afghan Goo
*Afghan Kalashnikovs
*Afghan Kalashnikovs
Line 107: Line 155:
*Afghanistan Haze
*Afghanistan Haze
*Afghanistan Slurpee
*Afghanistan Slurpee
*Afghanistanimation [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Afghanistanimation]<br>
*[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Afghanistanimation Afghanistanimation ]
*The [[AK-47]]
*Assortments of firearms left by Americunt soldiers.
*[[LOL|Dead American troops]]
*Opium
*Opium
*Dead Hajjis
*Dead Hajjis
*[[Pulse_Nightclub_Massacre|Faggots in denial]]
*<s>Human rights violations</s> It is also human right too, you fucking [[libtards]]!!
*Afghan terrorism
==How to Troll an Afghan==
<!--Really this not a hard task. Afghans (especially Pashtuns) are really fucking anal if you make fun of them:
#If they hate Pakistan because they help the Taliban, just say how much Pakistan is far more superior than Afghanistan.
#If they are Hazara, ask if they are from China or Japan.
#If they are Pashtuns, say that they are really filthy Jews that were kicked out of Israel. Seriously it's true, just look at their noses.
#Ask them if they have any connections with any opium farm growers.
#Ask them if they're related to [[Pulse_Nightclub_Massacre|Omar Mateen]].
#Most Afghans are born out of incest so you should probably make fun of them for that, like "Your dad is also your grandpa, right?"
#Bring up the fact that Afghans are terminally butt hurt when electing a winner for a presidential election.
#If they are offended by someone making fun of Afghanistan, just show them this article.
#If they believe the Afghan National Army is doing a good job, bring up what's happening in Northern Afghanistan. Especially the takeover of Kunduz by the Taliban.
#If they talk shit about you behind your back when trying to be nice to them, which will happen 100% of the time, start a sexual rumor about them. Afghans do this all the time and they will be really paranoid.
#Make fun of them for liking Bacha Bazi (basically boys dressed up in girls clothes dancing in front of men and then after they are done they get raped. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncbIMjU1x9s NOT A FUCKING JOKE].) and call them a pedophile.
{{center|<youtube>lqzSoaUoNeM</youtube><br />'''[[Troll shielding|Pussies]] are afraid to link this video to the Taliban 2.0 on sites like twitter'''}}-->
Because of the emergence of Taliban Memer [https://twitter.com/MalangKhostaay Malang Khostay] during 2021 Taliban takeover, and some of the [[alt-right|alt-righters]] even [https://www.thedailybeast.com/generation-zs-alt-right-declares-new-hero-the-taliban praised it], sadly we cannot troll them anymore, so here is some wholesome good shit of the Taliban enjoying stuffs like what normal human being do.
[[File:TalibanIcecream.jpg|center|350px|thumb]]
<center>
{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|
<youtube>9yqF-sJ4OHA</youtube>|
<youtube>F0necNQSj-8</youtube>|
<youtube>i4zAUo8dycg</youtube>|
}}</center>
==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Middleeastbeforeandafterdemocracy.jpg
File:Mideastthennow.jpg
File:Moderatemuslim.jpg
File:Afgani woman.jpg
File:99d.png
File:Taliban Kicking US Army.png
</gallery></center>


==See Also==
==See Also==
* [[Asia]]
* [[Asia]]
* [[China]]
* [[China]]
Line 121: Line 206:
* [[Tajikistan]]
* [[Tajikistan]]
* [[Mujahideen Video]]
* [[Mujahideen Video]]
* Turkmenistan
*Turkmenistan
* Uzbekistan
*Uzbekistan
* [[Holland]], their government fell because of Afghanistan debates.
* [[Holland]] - their government fell because of Afghanistan debates.
* [[Kyrgyzstan]]
* [[Kyrgyzstan]]
*[[K-pop#The Fans|K-Pop Stans]]
==External Links==
*[https://twitter.com/TalibanPRD_ Twitter account of IEA's Public Relations Department]
*[https://www.alemarahenglish.af/ Official website of Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan]
{{commonwealth}}
{{commonwealth}}
{{islam}}
{{islam}}
[[Category: Locations]]
[[Category: Locations]]

Latest revision as of 15:57, 13 August 2024

KNELT TO THE TALIBAN GIGACHAD


This article is paid for by taxpayers like you.
Thanks, America.




2000 YEARS UNDEFEATED
Afghanistan
Name Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan
د افغانستان اسلامي امارت (Pasto)
امارت اسلامی افغانستان (Dari)
National Anthem Da da Batorano Kor
Motto لا إله إلا الله، محمد رسول الله
Goverment Islamic Theocracy Emirate
Capital Kabul
Independence Day August 15, 2021
Leader Hibatullah Akhundzada (Supreme Leader)
Ethic Groups Majority: Pashto, Tajik
Minority: Hazara, Aimaq, and Turkic Peoples
Currency Afghan Afghani
Religion Islam (Almost all of them)
Very tiny non-Muslim minorities
Population 40 Million

The Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan, also known as Talibanistan is the actual Land of the Free, Home of the Brave, and the Birthplace of Toxic Masculinity unlike the fat-ass godless America who are invading them LOL defeated and they were the culprit of the mess in the country! The country is inhabited by Pro-patriarchy masculine gigachad mujahideen who are strong enough to kick the US invaders out from the country thanks to their strong faith in Islam and rejects feminism, secularism, and other liberal ideas entirely.

Afghanistan is also known as the "Graveyard of Empires", America being its latest victim. Various empires throughout history have been unable to defeat these brave poor farmers such as the Bri'ishs, and the Soviets.

The official currency unit is the goat. one goat being convertible into one six-year-old child bride on the open market.

History

Kabul, Afghanistan's largest city.


Despite being named Afghanistan, Afghanistan is the home of the Pashtuns, also known as the distance relative of Germans 卐. Afghanistan was created by the ejaculation of Bill Nye (as he whacked off to the remembrance of the time he nailed Soledad O'Brien) that landed on an unknown dry mildew growing on donkey shit. Afghanistan's history is like one long, brutal "keep out" sign that everyone ignores. It starts with Alexander the Great showing up like he's on a world tour, thinking he can just waltz in and take over. Spoiler: He couldn't. Fast forward, and you’ve got a parade of empires—Mongols, Persians, Mughals—all trying to claim the place like it’s prime real estate, but nobody can hang onto it for long. When Russian and British Imperialism hit Central Asia (the Great Game), the whole place became United Kingdom's bitch. However, Afghanistan was the only country that pwned the British invaders and every other empire that has attempted to rape them except the U.S./Canada but the only reason why they didn't is because they used them to kick out Osama bin Laden and friends No. After that, they plan on turning back into what they were before; a narco-terrorist shithole who's only contribution to the world is decent heroin, innovations in buttrape, and lousy taxi drivers. A country that, if it weren't for everyone carrying an AK-47, would look very much like it did in the 12th century.

Afghanistan is also home of the true and real Aryans, not the trailer trash white people you see in North America or the cavebitch skinhead wannabes in Europe. Afghanistan was also known as Aryana, a state of Persia before they separated due to religion and Arabs conquering them in the chest. The true Aryans are the Pashtuns and Tajiks, but the Mongolian left overs called "Hazaras" are common chinks with a little bit of other merged into their genome. Recently they have been enjoying freedom from their former Pashtun masters who enslaved them.

In recent history, Osama Bin Laden fell in love with the country and took it over with his Taliban. A month before 9/11, the Afghan Army was planning to attack the US with its mujahideen, but it failed hard. One month later they blew up the World Trade Center (everyone knows Jews did WTC, not Muslims). Butthurt, the US declared war on Afghanistan. After years of looking for Bin Laden, the Americans got tired but remained "devoted" to the cause by leaving the Canadian army in charge. The Canadians have since then installed peace and order and rule over the country from their dark and untakeable fortress in Kandahar Airbase, where they enjoy playing cards, torturing prisoners and playing hockey.

Reoccupied by the Taliban

Your American tax dollars at work, gone to good use for once


As of 2021, after the withdrawal of U.S. forces, the Taliban quickly planted their flag in most major Afghan cities, the capital, Kabul, was also eaten. It was only a matter of time before Afghanistan becomes a Sharia theocracy again, given the trend of the previous Islamic Republic leaders slowly leaving the country to run.

Recap

  1. Nothing happens
  2. Nothing happens
  3. Nothing happens
  4. Arab Muslims willingly convert them from Buddhism to Islam, then in turn the now-converted Afghans raeped their Pajeet counterparts
  5. Nothing happens
  6. Nothing happens
  7. Nothing happen
  8. British come
  9. ONE British leaves (Seriously!) (+16,500 killed or wounded)
  10. British come
  11. British leave (+1,630 killed or wounded)
  12. British come
  13. British leave (+1,751 killed or wounded )
  14. Afghanistan is a monarchy
  15. Afghanistan goes atheist/communist
  16. Pashtuns get butthurt
  17. Mujahideen forms with US help to fight communism
  18. Soviets come
  19. Soviets leave (+67,000 killed or wounded)
  20. Kabul falls to the mujahideen. A Pashtun and a Hazara get butt hurt and fighting ensues.(90% of the population in Kabul die).
  21. Mujahideen evolved into Taliban to fight Western influence
  22. Taliban start leading country based off Islamic law
  23. Americans come in, kill current leaders and appoint a puppet president
  24. But in order to make the puppet legal, they stage an election and he wins with 55%.
  25. Next election noone who voted before shows up, quarter of all votes get discarded, millions of votes get added, ballot box intimidation... and the puppet wins with 90%
  26. But in order to make it seem more legitimate, there is a reelection... in which the opponent is forced to back out
  27. US loses massive amounts of money by first funding the terrorists and then fighting them
  28. Taliban pyrrhic victory
  29. ????
  30. Profit! (for the jews)

Where is the fucking profit?

Demographics

Afghan jailbait


Afghanistan contains about 29.8 million people with beards and turbans on their heads, and a few confused lost wiggers. Afghan women all have to wear oversized binbags, although whether this is due to the Islamist attitude of the populace or the general fugliness of the women is debated.

They have dozens of ethnic groups including the pashtuns, hazaras (chinks), Tajiks and Uzbeks (Chinks)

In Godwin's Law, Afghanistan is the origin of the Aryan race, as proved by this one little white girl from Afghanistan. Historically, the Aryans invaded early civilization on the Indus Valley and asspwned the dark skinned yet ironically more intelligent inhabitants, giving them the Vedas and the Indo-European influenced language. If you are wondering why, if those dark skinned people were so intelligent, they got utterly pwned; shut up you racist.

More Afgan jailbait

Geography

The terrain of this country is lots of mountains and landlocked. the civilians turn into werewolves at night and raep outsiders in the ass. An Afghan feminazi bandit described Afghanistan's terrain as:

Leaders

The only known leader of Afghanistan that was known until now was Osama bin Laden, who is most known for being a local and American hero and humanitarian. In 2001, he was agonizingly framed for masterminding 9/11. Laden was later ruthlessly murdered in the attack of the NATO as he tried to save his fellow humans from the evils of western imperialism. When his death was confirmed, the country bowed down to the Canadian lead invader forces. Since then, the provisional dark emperor claimed the country in the name of Zionist-occupied Goverment.

Since the fall of the Islamic Republic, Taliban Emir and Mullah, Hibatullah Akhundzada has led the country with his Sharia-ruling theocracy.

Infastructures and Technologies

Afghanistan is well known for its modern industrial and technological economy.

Until somewhere in 2010s, there were no telephones or internets in Afghanistan, and most people rely on smoke signals for communications. Families that are rich enough have a camel, horse or even flying carpet to visit family across the country. But since one place in this masculine country is as based as any other, not much travel takes place.

Afghans? in my internets?

A Taliban fighter found on Stickam.
Sexy Ladies!


It's more likely than you think. Just look at the following websites taken over by the Afghans. They all redirect to some low budget Persian Afghani music videos. It may be many different videos, or all the same one. We really can't tell. Behold the fearmsome soldiers of the taliban.

Add more if you see any. We don't know whats going on but it is pretty scary.

Taliban Copypasta

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about Allah, you little infidel? Ill have you know I finished top of my group in the Taliban training camp, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the US military, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in hostage taking and I'm the top mujahideen in the entire world. You are nothing to me but just another kafir. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Allah’s Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, faggot, As we speak I am contacting my secret network of mujahideen across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, infidel. The storm that wipes out the blasphemous little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be in the Centre of Mecca, during prayer time, and I can stone you in over 40 ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in Taliban army, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Taliban and Al-Qaeda and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Allah’s creation, you kafir. If only you could have known what haram retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the jizyah. wallahi, I will shit my wrath all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, Kuffar."

Famous Afghan exports

  • The Afghan Hound
  • The Afghan Coat
  • The Afghan Whigs
  • Afghan wigs
  • Afghan Carpets
  • The Afghan Afghani, the official currency of Afghanistan
  • The Afghan Snowball
  • Afghan Goo
  • Afghan Kalashnikovs
  • Afghan Pipeline
  • Afghan Tea-bag
  • Afghani Sauna
  • Afghanistan Skunk
  • Afghanistan Haze
  • Afghanistan Slurpee
  • Afghanistanimation
  • Assortments of firearms left by Americunt soldiers.
  • Dead American troops
  • Opium
  • Dead Hajjis
  • Faggots in denial
  • Human rights violations It is also human right too, you fucking libtards!!
  • Afghan terrorism

How to Troll an Afghan

Because of the emergence of Taliban Memer Malang Khostay during 2021 Taliban takeover, and some of the alt-righters even praised it, sadly we cannot troll them anymore, so here is some wholesome good shit of the Taliban enjoying stuffs like what normal human being do.

Previous Video | Next Video

Gallery

See Also

External Links

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