Steele Dossier

Christopher Steele, plagiarist and paid shill.

The contents of the Steele Dossier.

The Steele Dossier refers to an untitled erotic fanfic about President Donald J. Trump that was written by a 60-year-old former-MI6 agent named Christopher David Steele and funded entirely thanks to liberal retards who stupidly donated a collective billion dollars to narrowly-dodged bullet Hillary Clinton's hilariously failed 2016 presidential campaign. As one would expect of Hitlery Cunton, the money that she didn't waste paying Gloria Allred to get a bunch of women to falsely accuse Donald Trump of sexual assault was instead spent commisioning a disgraceful Britfaginese ex-spook to plagiarize an explicit fanfic about Donald Trump and some Russian hookers from the fine anons on 4chan's /pol/.

To sum up the plot of Christopher Steele's fanfic: The year is 2013 and future-president Donald Trump is on a lovely vacation to the wonderful land of unicycle-riding bears where he is tasked with a divine mission from God – to rent the presidential suite in the Ritz Carlton Hotel where Barack and Michelle Obama had previously stayed and defile the bed that they had slept in by employing several Russian prostitutes to piss all over it while he watches and babbles on and on about how much he hates the blacks and Mexicans.

Hilariously, as soon as the libtard Democrats learned of the existence of the "dossier" from CNN and Buzzfeed in early 2017, they immediately believed that the whole fucking thing was real and actually thought that it would go on to become the salacious scandal that would bring down President Donald Trump and save America from 8 beautiful years of peace and prosperity. In reality, the dossier was absolute bullshit and, as of 2018, is still the single greatest act of trolling that the denizens of 4chan's /pol/ have ever gotten away with.

From the ashes of the short-lived "PissGate" non-scandal, it has slowly been revealed that the Obama administration, the Democratic party and the corrupt FBI lied to the courts and abused the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act or FISA in order to spy on the Trump campaign in a scandal that surpasses even Watergate and Zaigergate. What they never expected, however, was that Donald Trump would win over actual American voters and become President despite the fact that literally everything was rigged against him.

The Making of a Donald Trump Fanfic

Rick Wilson still believes that he should be taken seriously after stating that all Trump supporters are basement-dwelling weeaboo virgins.

Evan McMuffin

Failed presidential candidate and dead loser John McBraintumour.

Traitorous sellout James Comey.

Jeb! was behind it all.

In 2016, users of 4chan's /pol/ decided to fuck with people by making up a completely outlandish story about Donald Trump hiring prostitutes to urinate all over a bed that Barack and Michelle Obama once slept in while on a diplomatic trip to Russia. Eventually someone had the brilliant idea to send their erotic fanfiction to anti-Trump Republican political strategist Rick Wilson and attempt to pass it off as being fact. Much to /pol/'s surprise, Rick Wilson turned out to be so fucking retarded that he actually believed the story and then proceeded to forward /pol/'s amateur fanfic to professional cuck and former presidential loser John McCain, who in turn forwarded it to FBI director James Comey who then ensured that the information was passed on to numerous other security agencies that included the United States' CIA and Britain's MI6.

	“	Mom come quick, my fan fiction got published by the CIA	„
	—4chan, informing his mum that he finally did something right (archive)

Unbeknownst to the #NeverTrump Republicucks, the Democratic National Committee and Killary Cunton herself had hired an "Opposition Research Firm" called Fusion GPS to gather information that could potentially end Donald Trump's presidential campaign. Unfortunately for Hillary, Fusion GPS decided that they were too fucking lazy to actually do their job and—instead of conducting actual opposition research—went to a virulently anti-Trump MI6 agent named Christopher David Steele and asked him to give them something to work with.

Christopher Steele then decided to do what anyone in his situation would do – he did a Google search for damning info on Donald Trump and found himself in a thread on 4chan's /pol/ where he discovered the /pol/acks' horribly written fan fiction and ultimately decided that the "accusations" within were totally not made up and were at least 100% worthy of being included in an official dossier on the "Russian hacking" of the 2016 Presidential Election.

#GoldenShowerGate: Pissing in the Ocean of Piss

The sex tape in question.

Christopher Steele takes his swirlface family on the run to avoid taking a polonium dildo up the arse.

You cannot stop the GoldenShower satellite, Mr. Steele!

On January 10, 2017, leading fake news network CNN first reported the existence of a highly-classified "dossier" that detailed how President Elect Donald Trump was blackmailed by the Russian government and Vladimir Putin into running for president of the United States of America and infiltrating the U.S. Government in order to avoid the release of a supposed "Pee Pee Tape" that showed him getting Russian Government-backed whores to piss all over a bed in a Moscow hotel room.

Later the same day, BuzzFeed discovered that the dossier's author was an MI6 agent named Christopher Steele and they then proceeded to send him $300,000 in order to obtain a full copy of the entire, unredacted "dossier". Not wanting to admit that they had been scammed out of $300,000 and despite knowing full well that the dossier was probably complete and utter bullshit after they actually got to read it, BuzzFeed still decided to go ahead and publish it – their "reasoning", of course, being that people should be free to read the information and make up their own minds on whether to dismiss it as more fake news bullshit or to be retarded and actually fall for the most obvious act of trolling since the Jews made up the holocaust.

	“	The allegations are unverified, and the report contains errors.	„
	—BuzzFeed, pointing out their complete lack of journalistic integrity

After realizing that his cover had been compromised and his powerword would soon be revealed to the world, Christopher Steele began acting like a complete drama queen by immediately moving his entire family out of their home and then telling his IRL friends that he feared that "Moscow" (i.e. BuzzFeed) was going to send out a hitman to assassinate him for plagiarizing bad fan fiction from 4chan.

	“	A source close to Mr Steele said on Wednesday night that he now fears a prompt and potentially dangerous backlash against him from Moscow.	„
	—Chris thought BuzzFeed would kill him for scamming them out of $300,000 (archive)

Meanwhile, Rick Wilson was attempting to claim that he DINDU NUFFIN on Twitter when he accidentally ended up admitting his involvement in the phony dossier.

	“	You're wrong if you believe 1. What we had came from /pol. 2. That I was Buzzfeed's source. Try again, boys.	„
	—Rick Wilson, owning himself on Twitter (archive)

The Steele Dossier: The Official /pol/ Version About missing Pics

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  Trump watches Bible Black with a crowd of whores.
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  The actual dossier shows Poe's Law in action.
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  Trump goes Baneposting in the bedroom.
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  YOU'RE FIRED, BARRY

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  Obama rapes young boys.
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Nobody cares, Moby

90s has-been musician Moby.

Musician and professional has-been Moby is now claiming to have information on Donald Trump's ties to Russia and claims that the dossier is 100% real.

	“	They were like, “This is the Manchurian Candidate, like [Russian President Vladimir Putin] has a Russian agent as the President of the United States.” So they passed on some information to me and they said, like, “Look, you have more of a social media following than any of us do, can you please post some of these things just in a way that … sort of puts it out there.”	„
	—Moby, pretending to still be relevant (archive)

	“	It’s really disturbing and it’s going to get quite a lot darker. Like the depths of the Trump family in business and their involvement with organized crime, sponsored terrorism, Russian oligarchs, it’s really dark. I guess we should all, like, fasten our seat belts and hold on.	„
	—Moby

Obama Taps Trump

Barry the Cable Guy, abusing his position and power worse than Nixon and Zaiger.

James Clapper goes on TV to lie.

James Comey, looking totally honest.

In March, 2017, it came out that former president Barack Obama and his corrupt administration had wiretapped Trump Tower during the 2016 Presidential Election in what should have universally been considered a bigger political scandal than Watergate – unfortunately, the Lügenpresse was so unwilling to allow Black Jesus' legacy to be tarnished that they doubled down on their lies and began desperately attempting to paint Trump as a paranoid lunatic who was peddling right wing conspiracy theories.

“   Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my "wires tapped" in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!   „     —President Trump (archive)     “   How low has President Obama gone to tapp [sic] my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!   „     —President Trump (archive)     “   Neither Barack Obama nor any White House official under Obama ever ordered surveillance of any U.S. citizen.   „     —Kevin Lewis, lying for Obongo (archive) Previous Quote | Next Quote

Unfortunately for le olde media, Trump was not wrong and the Obama administration had wiretapped Trump Tower. In order to play it safe, dumbfuck Obongo and Crooked Hillary actually thought that they'd go through the trouble of actually attempting to do everything by the books for once and would actually go through the trouble to obtain a warrant before wiretapping the opposing party's candidate – unlike stupid Richard Nixon who forgot to get a warrant before he sent his goons to Watergate.

In order to get a warrant, Obama got FBI director and Hillary shill James Comey to obtain FISA warrants against several members of the Trump campaign. FISA, or the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, is intended for conducting surveillance on terrorists and spies, but Comey attempted to obtain the warrants under the false pretense that members of the Trump Campaign were "colluding" with "Russia". As evidence of this, Comey presented the Steele Dossier despite the fact that he was totally aware that it was bullshit that had been paid for by Hillary herself.

	“	It was salacious and unverified.	„
	—Comey, on the dossier that he used to obtain a FISA warrant (archive)

Hillary Screams "I DINDU NUFFIN!"

Marc E. Elias, the Clinton stooge who hired Fusion GPS to make the bullshit dossier.

In June, 2017, it finally became public knowledge that the Steele Dossier was funded by the Democrats and Hitlery Cunton – which, of course, was following months of explicit denials from Cunty Clinton and all of her bitches.

	“	From my perspective, it didn’t come out before the election as we all know.	„
	—Hillary, doing what she does best (archive)

	“	The real Russia scandal? Clinton campaign paid for the fake Russia dossier, then lied about it & covered it up.	„
	—Sarah Sanders

Wire Tapp Confirmed

In September, 2017, CNN finally admitted that the U.S. government wiretapped Trump Campaign chairman Paul Manafort.

Going the Gawker Way

Ben Smith, showing off what a soon-to-be homeless faggot looks like.

Michael Cohen bears his fangs against BuzzFeed.

On January 9, 2018, a year after BuzzFeed originally published the dossier, editor-in-chief Ben Smith decided to reflect on the publication's retarded decision to publish a bullshit document that contained massive amounts of factual inaccuracies and blatant libel. Ben claimed that he was "proud" of the decision and that the American people are so fucking stupid that they actually need a liberal propaganda rag like BuzzFeed to tell them what to think because they just aren't intelligent enough to actually think for themselves.

	“	I’m Proud We Published the Trump-Russia Dossier	„
	—Ben Smith is proud of publishing libelous bullshit (archive)

	“	A year of government inquiries and blockbuster journalism has made clear that the dossier is unquestionably real news.	„
	—Ben Smith, asking for it (archive)

	“	Without the dossier, Americans would have found it difficult to understand the actions of their elected representatives and government officials.	„
	—Ben Smith, calling you retarded

Following Smith's brazen display of arseholery, Michael Cohen^✡—Donald Trump's long time attorney who had also been libelled in the dossier—decided that he had finally had enough of SmugFeed's unrelenting BS and proceeded to file a defamation lawsuit against them.

	“	Enough is enough of the #fake #RussianDossier. Just filed a defamation action against @BuzzFeedNews for publishing the lie filled document on @POTUS @realDonaldTrump and me!	„
	—Michael Cohen, showing BuzzFeed who's boss (archive)

Prove You're Not A Яusskieбot!

Dianne Feinstein, showing off one of her many non-human appendages.

Several days after the rise of the #ReleaseTheMemo campaign began, Commiefornia Senator and fossilized Jewess Dianne Feinstein^✡ teamed up with California Congressman Adam Schiff to write a letter begging Facebook and Twitter to do more to censor the hashtag on their respective platforms – their excuse being that the hashtag was certainly being spread by Russian Bots because reasons.

Unfortunately for Dianne and Adam, the hashtag was not being spread by "Russian Bots" but by real Muricans who weren't about to take any shit from two losers from a pinko-run state that's unwilling to follow federal law or cooperate with the federal government. To show the Democrats who's boss, the ragtag crew of Trumpkins and still-butthurt Bernie Sanders supporters who wanted to #ReleaseTheMemo proceeded to destroy the rainforest and take a bunch of selfies to prove that they were neither Russians nor bots.

I AM NOT A RUSSIAN BOT! About missing Pics

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Nice going, libtards, you've just helped destroy the rainforest.

A Little Schiff Hits The Fan

Little Adam Schiff, professional fearmongler.

What Schiff actually claims that the release of the Nunes Memo will lead to.

	“	But it is impeaching the FBI, and the problem with this, and this is I think at the heart of the department’s concern–is if you have a neighbor who’s buying fertilizer, lots of fertilizer, but has no yard and you have concerns about it and you want to call the FBI, you’re now going to wonder ‘Is that FBI going to hold my name in confidence or this information in confidence, what if this becomes politicized?’ Sources are going to dry up because of what the Republicans on this committee are doing now.	„
	—Adam Schiff, fearmongering (archive)

	“	Little Adam Schiff, who is desperate to run for higher office, is one of the biggest liars and leakers in Washington, right up there with Comey, Warner, Brennan and Clapper! Adam leaves closed committee hearings to illegally leak confidential information. Must be stopped!	„
	—God-Emperor Trump (archive)

The Democrats' Memo

Adam Schiff is mad that the Republicans didn't release enough classified information.

Steele, Christopher Steele

Christopher David Steele is a 60-year-old MI6 spook turned slanderer-for-hire who was paid by Jeb Bush to dig up dirt on The Donald prior to his inauguration as the 45th God-Emperor of Everything.

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  Christopher Steele attending britfag spy school.
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  Christopher Steele, the rogue MI6 agent who scammed BuzzFeed and/or Jeb Bush out of $300,000.

Gallery

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See Also

• Fan Fiction
• Plagiarism
• /pol/
• Fake News
• Bullshit
• BuzzFeed
• Gawker
• Pool's Closed - 4chan pranks a decade ago. Oh, how very far we have come.
• Pizzagate - A far more believable conspiracy theory about Hillary Clinton raping and eating babies.

External Links

"We did it, Michelle! We blew the Democratic Party's reputation to Hell! Ooga booga!"

What all of these "news" articles look like.

/pol/ Writes Sexy Trump Fan Fiction

• TRUMP GENERAL - BIGLY LEAGUE EDITION - Proof that /pol/ trolled everyone.
• PISSGATE: Uncovered & RAW

#GoldenShowerGate

• U.S. intel officials probe ties between Trump adviser and Kremlin - Chrissy leaks bullshit info to Yahoo News.
• Intel chiefs presented Trump with claims of Russian efforts to compromise him - CNN reveals the existence of the dossier.
• These Reports Allege Trump Has Deep Ties To Russia - BuzzFeed releases the "Steele Dossier".
• Penthouse Offers $1 Million For a Trump Piss Tape - Larry Flynt is old and desperate.
• After being sued, BuzzFeed has apologized to a Russian executive named in the unverified Trump dossier - BuzzFeed thinks a half-arsed apology will save them.
• Plaintiff in Russia dossier suit argues BuzzFeed isn't a real news organization - Russian argues that water is wet, BuzzFeed disagrees.
• BuzzFeed’s Trump Dossier Source Gets Closer To Being Identified
• Russian tech expert named in Trump report says US intelligence never contacted him
• Plaintiff's lawyer in Russia dossier suit says they've discovered BuzzFeed's source
• I'm Not a Nutjob: Here Are Eight Reasons the Trump Pee-Pee Tape is Real - LOLOLOL
• Here's a helpful reminder that the Donald Trump pee tape is probably real - Liberalism is a mental disorder.

Obama Wiretaps Trump Tower, Media Gaslights Trump

• Did Obama really wiretap Trump Tower? - Yes, yes he did.
• Trump's Wiretap Tweets Bring Lawsuit Seeking Proof - Libshits freak out at Trump for revealing Obama's corruption.
• BuzzFeed sues for records on Trump-Obama tapping tweets
• US government wiretapped former Trump campaign chairman - CNN admits that Obama wiretapped the Trump campaign.
• Trump's Former Campaign Chairman Paul Manafort Was Wiretapped By U.S. Government During Election
• Look Who Really Was Wiretapping Trump Tower Resident Paul Manafort

Hillary Clinton Funded the Bullshit Dossier

• Pro-Clinton Group Behind Russian Dossier on Trump - Fox releases a bombshell.
• Clinton campaign, DNC helped fund dossier research
• Clinton campaign, DNC paid for research that led to Russia dossier - A shocking admission by the Washington Shitpost.
• Clinton Campaign and Democratic Party Helped Pay for Russia Trump Dossier
• Trump-Russia ‘Pee Tape’ Dossier Was Paid for by Hillary Clinton Campaign
• Clinton campaign and DNC helped fund Trump-Russia Steele dossier
• Sketchy firm behind Trump dossier is stalling investigators - Fusion GPS totally DINDU NUFFIN!
• Fusion GPS co-founder: Steele didn't pay sources for dossier on Trump - Christopher Steele stiffed /pol/ on their work on the dossier.
• Hillary Clinton unaware of dossier before it was published - Yeah right.
• Hillary Clinton didn’t know who funded the dossier until January…of course
• Hillary defends Trump dossier as opposition research, makes dubious claims about its release - She didn't know about it, but still defends it as "opposition research".
• Clinton defends campaign funding for research in Steele dossier - Moar of Hillary defending her illegal bullshit.
• Hillary Clinton's Campaign Wasn't Honest About Paying for Trump Dossier, Watchdog Says - A shocking admission by Jewsweek.
• The Russia Dossier Story: A Perfect Storm of Clinton Deception, Media Irresponsibility, and Democratic Moral Blindness

One Year of Bullshit

• I’m Proud We Published the Trump-Russia Dossier - BuzzFeed is proud of their faggotry.
• 'Somebody's already been killed' because of Trump dossier, Fusion GPS rep revealed - We're sure they were asking for it.

#ReleaseTheMemo

• #ReleaseTheMemo Hypocrisy: To Undermine Trump-Russia Inquiry, Republicans Want to Release Classified Information - That's quite a hot take.
• Release the Memo: What's the Conspiracy Behind the Right-Wing Meme? - Releasing the memo was a "Right-Wing Meme".

The Bot Conspiracy

• The Feinstein/Schiff Letter
• Democrats lashed Facebook and Twitter for not fully investigating if Russian bots spread the #ReleasetheMemo campaign - Democrats attempt to censor social media.
• Russian Bots Might Be Behind Controversial #ReleaseTheMemo Campaign, Democrats Say - Aliens might abduct cows to sodomize them, Democrats say.
• How Twitter Bots and Trump Fans Made #ReleaseTheMemo Go Viral
• Twitter Pins #ReleaseTheMemo on Republicans, Not Russia - Even Twitter says that the libtards are full of shit.
• No, Russians Bots Aren't Responsible for #ReleaseTheMemo

Full of Schiff

• Schiff accuses Nunes of altering memo before sending to White House - Schiff lies in a desperate last-ditch attempt to prevent the release of the memo.
• Pelosi Sends Letter to Speaker Ryan Calling for Removal of Chairman Nunes and End to House Republicans’ Partisan Charade - Useless Nancy Pelosi gets desperate.
• #FullOfSchiff And #DeepStateInPanic Trend As America Awaits The Release Of The FISA Memo
• Twitter censorship suspected in alleged suppression of viral #FullofSchiff hashtag - Twitter attempts to censor the #FullOfSchiff hashtag.
• Adam Schiff sent his staff to try and collect 'classified materials for the FBI' after Russian pranksters told him Putin has NAKED blackmail pictures of Trump

Post-Memo

• 5 Things The FBI Never Told The FISA Court About The Trump Dossier
• FBI Used Tainted Steele Dossier, Paid For By Hillary Clinton, As Reason To Spy On Trump
• DOJ/FBI Kept Clinton & DNC Funding of Dossier Hidden in Application to Spy on U.S. Citizen
• Clinton operatives funneled information to Christopher Steele for Trump-Russia dossier
• Carter Page, Man at the Center of #ReleasetheMemo, Speaks
• Isikoff Stunned That His Carter Page Article Was Used To Justify Spy Warrant
• Yahoo News' Michael Isikoff describes crucial meeting cited in Nunes memo
• Michael Isikoff Says He Was "Stunned" To See His Story Cited In FISA Warrant
• FBI lovers' latest text messages: Obama 'wants to know everything'

Libtard Media Damage Control

• The Nunes Memo Proves One Thing, And It’s The Opposite Of What It Tries To Prove - Mother Jones reaches so far up their arse that they pull out their tongue.
• #YoMemoJokes trends nationwide, adding to Trump’s humiliation over memo failure - Professional liar Caroline Amy Whorr pretends that the memo was a joke.

Fifty Dossiers Gayer

• Dossier author Steele wrote another anti-Trump memo; was fed info by Clinton-connected contact, Obama State Department - The long-awaited sequel.
• There’s a second Trump-Russia dossier - The fanfic spawns a fanfic.

The Demoncunts' Counter-Memo

• House intelligence committee unanimously votes to release Democratic memo - The Democrats' last desperate attempt to avoid prison rape.
• Criminal referral backs up Nunes on dossier claims, as Dems push rebuttal memo

Steele Dossier is part of a series on Chans Visit the Chans Portal for complete coverage.

Steele Dossier is part of a series on Truth Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

[...and then there was a gay orgy.It was a dark and stormy night...] Steele Dossier is part of a series on FanFiction

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Steele Dossier is part of a series on Donald Trump. You're gonna love this article, believe me.

Featured article January 15 & 16, 2017
Preceded by Dylann Storm Roof	Steele Dossier	Succeeded by Barack Obama

Featured article July 27 & 28, 2018
Preceded by Bedford	Steele Dossier	Succeeded by Nurse Who