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Furry

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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What? This article does not need any more fucking pictures or templates, not at all.
You can help by not adding anything, especially not fucking pictures or templates.



If all furries were firm-bodied seventeen-year-old girls with nice tits in bunny suits and a preference for the better race, there'd be no need for an ED article and we'd be too busy to write one.

Unfortunately, furries are just the opposite. On the internet food chain, they come in dead last (right behind you of course).

All furries, no exceptions. The last guy is the reason for all of this faggotry, but he also makes an easy dollar.
What "furry" is.

Furries are the scum of the earth, and the surest candidates for dying alone. The furry fandom will accept ANYONE, and hence attracts the worst and most pathetic people in the world. Furries are so ugly that they make Brian Peppers look attractive, so stupid that they make autistics look smart, and pathetic beyond compare. FAIL doesn't even begin to encompass how bad furries have done in life. Dying alone is the best they can do, preferably in the style of Mr. Hands.

To put furfaggotry in perspective, furries are to animals what Larpers are to medieval faggotry, and the differences are sometimes very subtle. Larpers are at least willing to admit what they do is all in pretense, whereas some furs actually believe that they are their fursonas. Furfags have gone as far as raising their kids as furs, although instinctively the children realize their parents are different and ultimately reject it, thus proving that there is some hope for the human race which the furries have sought to destroy with their faggotry.

These faggots also got the 100m AND 200m GET, which proves that furries truly are the cancer that is killing /b/.

What is this Faggotry?

Tame by furry standards, perverted by normal standards.
A furry coming out to his mom.

A fetish, stupid.

Furries are zoophiles who like to masturbate to half-animal pornography. The majority of the Internet hates them because they won't stay in FChan and Fur Affinity, and continue to annoy everyone with their persecution complex and disgusting fetishes. They are pushy, obnoxious, gullible, insecure, and completely incapable of understanding how stupid the concept of their fandom is. As such, they'll take offense to the claims of it being a sexual fetish, as if without the sexual aspect, being obsessed with cartoon animals would be perfectly fine.

Normal people tend to keep their fetishes and developmental oddities to themselves. Furries, on the other hand, believe their fetish is a lifestyle and must announce it to everybody on the Internet through their icon or sig. Society might actually hate furfags less if they didn't wish to justify their perversions so strongly that they bring their fursuits and molested dogs into every normal place they can find, and proceed to spew their crap. Every pervert must first accept that they are fucked up and either roll with it or an hero. Furries refuse to do so, thus making them easy targets for trolls and lulz.

Some furfags claim that they have no sexual interest in animals whatsoever, and simply enjoy walking around their house in a fucking dog suit. This is total horseshit. All furfags are drawn to sexual perversity, regardless of their species. Furfags only say this kind of thing when threatened with death or when they are trying to "surprise yiff" someone new. Just to be on the safe side, if a furfag ever tells you they're celibate, you should castrate them to ensure their celibacy.

Note: On occasion, some retard might accidentally mistake a fursuit for a Halloween costume. If you observe this phenomenon, explain the truth to the hapless faggot and point them to this article!

No matter what the furries say to you, all of them are into this:

Previous Video | Next Video

Where Do Furries Come From?

Choose Twinkies, fatty.

This is what happens when kids are raised on a diet of Disney cartoons that depict animals with love interests.

Despite the opinion that it's the Internet that creates furries, furries existed, and still exist, even without the Internet. Through movies, cartoons, Halloween costumes, toys, games, and other things that parents innocently expose their children to, children develop an interest in fur.

Although furries tend to develop before being exposed to the internet, once they are exposed to the internet they realize "ZOMG! THERE'RE OTHERS LIKE ME!" Thinking that having other people into the same crap you are makes things awwwright, they start encouraging each other instead of realizing they are sick fucks and getting help. This leads to your common furry: the thirty-year-old jailhouse gay waste of flesh fapping in shit-stained diapers to half-animal porn in their mother's basement.

Protip: Parents, only show your kids DEAD animals. The singing, talking kind only leads to tragedy.

Recruiting techniques About missing Pics
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Furry Propaganda

Typical "art".

Moar info: Furry art.

Some furries claim they're just in it for the art. But as we know, this "art" is simply a way for furries to lure their ill-fated victims into a trap, where they will be mind raped until they submit to their new furry masters.

Furries often explode into brick-shitting, BAWWWWWWWing rages as soon as someone points out the obvious: that Furry fandom is nothing more than a gigantic collection of half-animals with trite designs that only a furry could love so much, cobbled together by hormonal sixteen-year-olds who have taken maybe one art class and can't even draw a cock.

Of course, this is exactly what they want you to think: that they're just a bunch of artists. The reality is much worse.

The following is a lengthy rant from one furry that perfectly embodies their nature of deception. Typical to most attempts to rationalize being a furry, the rant is full of circular logic, hypocrisy, unwarranted self-importance, and just about every logical fallacy you can name. The author directly mentions ED and appears to have a dislike of this site from his previous rantings. In case you haven't noticed, the furry community is full of huge egos; this is most likely to compensate for the fact that they only have a life on the Internets.

About the furries.
Furry in fursuit next to one without. Now you see why they wear fursuits.
   
“ 		 
I support enormous animal penises in my mouth.
  		„
  		 

—A simple paraphrase emulating the below text.

Since I'm already shitting my whole fucking life down the toilet, I decided in my infinite wisdom tonight to finally let loose on the forums here and tell you all how I really fucking think, and it's so funny you'll fucking shit yourself like I almost did three times today because I've got FUCKING BLOODY DIARRHEA LOL.

First up on the chopping block, I'm smarter than you. No way, it's true. Due to the law of averages, the vast majority of people reading this are probably ready to rebuke me in some funny way which will make me laugh greatly, but the fact is it's true. Why? I don't need no fuckin' statistics, I just am. I aced high school, I aced college, and I'm acing my whole life right now. I'm running circles around my entire editorial board at my newspaper, and my faggot boss knows I'm smarter than her, but she's a skinny whiny Jew who thinks she knows better than everybody because she comes from Kansas and reads The New York Times. Fuck that. I'm the only one keeping that goddamn piece of shit rag in business and she fucking knows it, which is why she felt threatened by me today and decided to ream me out for the headlines I write at night: BAWWWW they're too fucking inaccurate! They're too fucking inappropriate! Fucking little whore.

Second up, hunters have no fucking rights. If you're a hunter, fuck you. If you've ever killed an animal just for the shit of it, fuck you. The only thing you savages have the right to do is the right to remain silent while the police arrest you for murder. Yes, murder. In these modern times we live in, what some like to call the 21st century, we as a species have evolved past the need for senseless barbarism like the kind of bullshit you assholes pull when you get liquored up and go kill Bambi. You know what? Nature can take care of itself, it has for millions of years. It doesn't need us fucking it up by hiding behind that bullshit reason of "population control". Yeah, I got your fucking population control right here. It's called kill the hunters. An eye for an eye. Capital punishment for capital murder. I consider the murder of animals to be on equal footing with the murder of humans. "Well Nightweaver, what about plants? They have feelings too baww baww baww. What about when you hit a deer/raccoon/squirrel with your car? What about stomping on insects?" You know what I'm fucking talking about you pieces of shit. Stop muddling the argument with your goddamn straw man bull. I don't need reams of scientific data to back up what I'm saying...KILLING IS WRONG NO MATTER WHAT IT IS.

Did you know that the vast majority of hunters in the U.S. are big fat neckbeards and rednecks, probably like the kind who post on this forum? It's true. Try going to India with that stupid "animals are lower than humans" shit you speciesist faggot, see how far you get before somebody runs your ass over. And don't try that bullshit that "we need them for food, we need them for research, we need them for clothing, we need them for this, we need them for that..." It doesn't hold any fucking water with me anymore, not that it ever really did. This is the same species which just mapped the human genome a few years ago; it's time for us to crawl out of the caveman macho bullshit days and get with the program. Yes I think I can make things better by yelling at you, so shut up. Yes I'm a member of PETA, so shut up. If I was less lazy and actually owned one, I'd take my gun and go out and hunt the hunters. I'd kill every one of you arrogant speciesist bastards I could find. Same goes for you meat-eaters. Hey asshole, I've thrived for 15 years on no meat, now it's YOUR turn to try it out. Or are you too pussy? Yeah that's what I thought, goddamn bunch of pussies who are too scared to go vegan. My conscience is clear, what about yours? Hm? You don't mind they're killed in horrible ways in slaughterhouses? You ENJOY watching them die? Then you're the worst kind of scum, lower even than child molesters. I spit on your fetid corpse.

Finally (because I know you people are having OH SO MUCH FUN copying this into your ED entry on me), I DROP THE BIG BOMB! I'm into sex with animals! HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK. Guess what, it's kind of been skirted around in everything I've said about the topic anyway, but I support enormous animal penises in my mouth. Yes that's right, let's go there. OH SISTER! I will admit I've never actually tried it on any animal, but I would love to. I can hear someone now "Wow what a fucking hypocrite that he says he loves animals but wants to raep them lolololololoololol" Let me get one thing straight faggot: Pleasuring an animal sexually and raping them are two different things, and if you don't know the difference then you shouldn't be trying it in the first place.

Do you think your dog likes getting fucking blue balls because there's no pussy for him? THAT'S ABUSE. THAT'S RAEP. Letting your poor pet suffer in silence because of a lack of sexual gratification. So OK, we got dogs covered, and it's different with all animals and some are NOT designed for us, so you better stay the fuck away from them. But honestly, do you think that horse hates having his dick rubbed if he's standing there and thrusting his hips at you? Believe me pal, if that horse didn't want you there, you'd have a busted jaw or broken neck already from a hoof to the face. So those are the two most obvious examples of animals I would like to pleasure; it's amazing how fast everyone's going to misinterpret this post and read into this that I'm some SICK FUCK who you can't let near your children. That's amazing, those people should win a fucking Nobel Prize for their stupidity.

I'm about as benign a guy as you'll ever find, but here's what I can't get over: I'm in this fandom, furry fandom see, and its artists draw a LOT of dog cocks and a LOT of horse cocks and I'm like W-T-F? We love to see art of this shit but try soooo hard to deny to ourselves that it's just fantasy? Fuck you, slap yourself into reality. YOU'RE LOOKING AT DOG COCK AND GETTING OFF TO IT. Whether its drawn or not, you can't claim that you're not "into" animal sex. People just LOVE to make fun of us, zoophiles, bestialists, faggots, scum, whatever they call us. It's one big self-assuring joke apparently for humanity to delude itself into thinking that we're so much superior to lower animals that we cannot have sex with them. Interspecies sex is common in the wild, and yes I'm aware of the apparent hypocrisy between that and what I just said about hunting. "Animals hunt but we can't , but we can fuck them? Derpa derpa derp." Well guess what? We've domesticated all these species, and we are responsible for them. We're responsible for their care. Sometimes these poor beasts can't get off the way they want to, because of the physical restrictions we place on them by separating the sexes and so forth. So we should be able to masturbate them at least if they're horny and have no other outlet! I'd sign up to do it; I'd be at the fucking head of the line for that shit. Giant horse dick in my mouth? DO WANT!


   
“ 		 
But I genuinely refuse to believe all of furry is the crowd of social lepers we like to think we are.
  		„
  		 

—Furry on being a social leper.


   
“ 		 
hey, not all of us are freaks like those skunk fuckers
  		„
  		 

—social leper tired of being grouped with furries.

"Girl" Furries

Why there are no female furries.
This is a real furry female.

All furries are male. However, it may seem that there are female furries, but in truth there are no female furries. All "female" furries are in truth just guys acting like girls, or faggots who wish they were girls. The only exceptions are for lesbians so ugly that not even their own dogs would fuck them. Either way, you really, really do not want to see what is hiding under their skirt.

Remember:

  • Rule 30 still applies.
  • Pictures aren't real; that is to say that a picture of a female furry doesn't necessarily mean female furries actually exist anywhere other than within another furry's mind.
  • It's a trap!
  • It's a faggot!
  • Of the remaining few that are actually female and actually furry, they're always fat and ugly dykes.

Examples of "Girl" Furries

Furry "Females" About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Wikipedia Drama

Since furry existence revolves around WikiEdit Drama, many of Wikipedia's admins are furfags, such as: ContiE, Fennec, Furrykef, KieferSkunk, Loganberry, Wiki alf, and Wwwwolf - all of whom are the same person. There is also Krishva, who insists her childhood was destroyed forevar by furries and has made it her lifelong goal in life to make sure that web sites such as Wikipedia, are as accurate (read: white-washed) as possible. This involved making approximately eleventy gazillion edits to Wikipedia's "Furry" article and, when that didn't fulfill her need for alpha-wolf dominance, also the "Furry fandom", "Funny animal", and "Talking animal" articles.

Why in the world Wikipedia has separate articles for "Furry" and "Furry Fandom" in the first place is one of the many infinitesimally trivial points being bickered about by Krishva in the various articles' talk pages. Why? Because certain furfags want to deny that furry has anything to do with sex. There is one yiff pic in existence that doesn't resemble this and they put it on their yiff article. Obsessively denying the relation between sex and furfags on Wikipedia is likely the result of furry-style castration.

Real-Life Horror

Even the ancients were tormented by the furries.

If they were just pathetic, like nerds, they could mostly be passed over without much of a thought, and maybe even pitied. But in addition to being failures at life, their minds are constantly thinking of more perverted things to do, which show up not only in their REAL art (the kind they put in a separate folders and tag with so many warnings you wonder why they put it OL on the first place), but in the things they do IRL.

   
“ 		 
"It's perfectly natural to fantasize about a half human/half fox with double D tits. PERFECTLY NATURAL. I don't get the haters at all. I just don't."


 

„
  		 

—Furfag on bestiality

   
“ 		 
None of us can really help, control, or direct our sexual interests or fetishes; we can, however, control how we choose to act on them. Someone who gets rock hard or dripping wet when dressed up like a fox or a raccoon or Ann Coulter makes a rough sort of sense. But someone who fantasizes about being an animal or hangs out with people who do without the excuse/cover of sexual fetish or compulsion? I'm sorry, but that's just sick.


 

„
  		 

—Dan Savage, Faggot and truth-sayer

   
“ 		 
Discrimination on us is and should be a crime. fucking people should not hate other lifestyles and they should not hate the people who are proud to show their lifestyle its called freedom of expression if you don't like it get the fuck out of my country you dam nazis.


 

„
  		 

—Furfag on free speech and Godwin's law

   
“ 		 
"Godwin Law was created by a Nazi or Facist in order to propogate future persecutionist behaviour, by sweeping real Nazi/Facist history aside under the cloak of 'Godwin Law' that normal people are not permitted to sight example from the past to prevent the same mistakes happening in the present so that a new nationalist regime can rise again in the future]]...That ANYONE is fooled by Godwin law means the persecutors will win."


 

„
  		 

—Furfags don't know 'bout Godwin's law

   
“ 		 
"Considering myself human, I consider to mean that I would be a killer who enjoys suffering at the expense of those who can't fight back. I would be a part of the mass extinction of all life on this planet, I would play a part in the sterility of this planet by owning land and pursuing economy by squeezing everything to its last thread of energy at the expense of anything that dare stand in the way of my profits. e.g. When a hyena eats a melon, she's not doing anything wrong, she doesn't understand the (HUMAN) ownership of that plant...nor should she, nor does she deserve to die for being thirsty, for being hungry, she shouldn't be condemned for being a mother with children to feed."


 

„
  		 

—furfag, who believes he's not human and thinks hyenas eat melons

Previous Quote | Next Quote

  • Pay money and you can look great!
    Pay money and you can look great!
  • They said "squeak squeak"! That means it's totally consensual!
    They said "squeak squeak"! That means it's totally consensual!
  • Dorian Thorn tries to be a furry by buttfucking his mom's stuffed animals while she's out.
    Dorian Thorn tries to be a furry by buttfucking his mom's stuffed animals while she's out.
  • Furry Pride!
    Furry Pride!
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Furry Movies in 2010

Oh shit. It looks like furfaggotry has finally spread it's evil grip to Hollywood. Brendan Fraser, who is secretly a werewolf, has finally cinched being a complete fag by starring in the 2010 film "Furry Vengeance". Whether or not this will lead the furries into some massive rebellion is not known, but it what is clear is that this movie will suck cocks big time.

It is confirmed, this movie sucked total ass. Acting: Terrible. Storyline: Horrible. The fact that the movie has the word "Furry" in it....it must be killed with napalm/nuclear weapons to prevent further AIDS and fail from spreading. Please, if you are an unlucky fucker and have time to watch this shit...don't. If you do, the following reactions will become imminent:

1.) Severe hatred for anything furry (or animals that don't provide food).

2.) The need to hack your cock off with a rusty butterknife to ignore the searing pain in your eyes from watching this bullshit.

3.) Grabbing a screwdriver and stabbing your eyes continuously to prevent ever seeing it again.

4.) Faggotry... at which point you should AN HERO yourself.

Of course, Yogi Bear also made it out to horrify parents by furrifying their children right in time for Christmas. Luckily, that movie is also awful. The only good part is this alternate ending. Kids, take a note from Boo Boo and save your parents the heartache of finding a furry in their basement.

Hating Furries

Moar info: Fursecution.

   
“ 		 
He that shall copulate with any beast or cattle, dying let him die, the beast also ye shall kill.
  		„
  		 

—God, on hating the furries.


It's OK to hate these sick fucks! Seriously, if all this shit hasn't made you sick by now, you must be retarded.

Furry Reaction to This Article

There is no threat as serious as the pre-drafted e-mail threat.
File:Neytiri Sad.JPG
A typical reaction.

The primary defense of a butthurt furfag is to blank this article and replace it with something like "this page is a bunch of lies. Furries rule". Of course, the only reason they're offended by this article at all is because they know it's all true.

Your typical furry is too damn stupid to realize that ED is a wiki, and as such, all of its articles are cached. So if you blank an article, MysteryBot will revert it within seconds and ban you.

Below is an incomplete list of complete failures who tried to blank this article. So if you're thinking about trying to blank it, know that you're not the first.


What To Do If Your Friend Is Infected

File:Sonicsolution.png
Yahtzee has the right idea.
Yiff in hell, furfags!

They'll need help. Not mental help, but the kind of help where you take them to a concealed area and shove both barrels of a 12-gauge into the back of their oblivious fursuit-covered head and pull both triggers tearfully without remorse.
There are also a few alternative solutions you may attempt:

  • Never try to fit in with them. In fact, stay away from them altogether. This is very important as something as minor as eye contact can easily cause infection (you may want to find a new friend, preferably someone from Encyclopedia Dramatica).
  • Call them out in public, ask them about furry in front of non-furries. Bring up Babyfurs and bestiality.
  • Buy some garden shears at your local Wal-Mart, and use them to castrate anything resembling a furry and staple their testicles (if present) to their foreheads; yelling various obscenties is optional. Remember to return the garden shears within 30 days to get your money back.
  • If you are his roomate or something similar, leave raw meat in his fursuit.
  • If you are brave (or already infected), you can try to forcibly persuade them against their ways.
  • Pass a bill which will makes it punishable by death for being a furfag.
  • Let a REAL lion loose on his ass and watch his reaction. Make sure to bring a trash bag and a gun.
  • Force them to watch "regular" Porn. Prolonged exposure to anything sexual that doesn't involve fucking animals in every hole has been known to cause Furries' heads to forcibly explode.
  • Blend and/or Microwave them.
  • If all else fails, simply go to China and accumulate several large nuclear stockpiles. Proceed to nuke the shit out of every anthrocon in existence until the world is rid of the furfag populace.

See Also

Pretty much the common consensus by furries on the internet

YouTube Furry Videos

External Links

Furry
is part of a series on
the cancer that is killing /b/
Sources [-+]
Symptoms [-+]
Forced Memes [-+]
Treatment [-+]

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Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

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