Chewfox
Chewfox, AKA Chelsy Dyer, is a furfagette from Orlando, Florida who, after appearing on The Tyra Show to tell the world what furries really are like, has stirred up a nest of anthropomorphic dog-fucking hornets, failing so spectacularly at life that she's now effectively shunned by the lowest existing social tier.
She is currently permabanned from FurAffinity as of March 27, 2010.
Tyragate
Tyra Banks, in desperate need of ratings, decided to put her hairy feelers out for a show about freaky motherfuckers and the sex that they have. Furries started getting messages in their Myspaces and Facebooks. While most furfags suspected a ruse, Chewfox took the bait like it was a cheeseburger and ran with it, telling everyone she could how much her mind was blown, how she "wanted people to know what it's like to be furries," and that she would take utmost care not to tarnish the gleaming, sparkly reputation of the furry fandom.
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Friends Don't Let Friends go on The Tyra Banks Show
Unfortunately, her lack of e-friends kept word from getting out quick enough, and the world's eyes were subjected to satin-pajama-covered mascot-humping rolls, and their twiggy boyfriend. The result is a hilarious display; the crowd immediately figures out who the furries are just by looking at them. Chelsy covers all the furry basics about how furries are really just people with animals trapped inside to how much she likes being pegged by a man in a kitty costume.
The Fandom Reacts
Soon after, her proud journal post on FurAffinity was flooded with so many comments that the site's massive and amazing servers finally folded under a weight nearly rivaling that of Chewfox herself. In what has become a proud tradition at FurAffinity, furries once again acted surprised when one of their own did something stupid. Although The Tyra show was only watched by stay at home moms, the elderly, and the unemployed, furries knew that Chewfox's appearance was only the most important shit evar and spammed the shit out of her journal. She managed to delete it, along with another one expressing her deep disappointment in the fandom before being banned for being the worst furry of them all by none other than Preyfar/Dragoneer.
Dragoneer Reacts
After the first time the site went down, users were greeted with a new "FA is Down" page, featuring Tyra Banks herself. Not long after, the FA forums went down and started to piss off Dragoneer. The site came back up, only to crash all over again. This sent Neer into a furry rage, which was only fueled further by the release of a video of the actual show. After a quick tweet, he slammed the banhammer down on her with a special message on her page, telling everyone how she "has brought shame to the entire fandom for their own personal self gain."
— Preyfar on his livejournal | ||
Dragoneer Retracts
Dragoneer was a hero to all furries due to his actions and was about to receive a medal until he remembered who he was and backpedaled with a 'temporary' ban and explanation. Clearly, Dragoneer saw the irony of banning someone for "misrepresenting" furries as perverts so that he could get on with his life of drawing dragon cocks and generating revenue from sex toy ads.
Chewfox Returns, Unbanned (for now)
The overweight attention whore comes back to FurAffinity at about 12:00AM on Sep 18th 2009 and has already started to collect her own hate art like any typical furfagette in this situation. But hope for the ultimate lulz may not be lost. As most suspect she will be doxed.
Chewfox Ruins Lives
It turns out that she actually ruined other furry lives. No, not by her fat ugly face, but because she went on television and stated that all fursuiters fuck in their suits. She made some fursuiters, who used their fursuits for reasons other than fucking, lose some of their business either performing as a mascot or making fursuits for clients. Now they are all seen as sex-crazed deviants, and anyone who watched Tyra know the sad pathetic truth.
Chewfox Tries To Explain Herself
In a recent journal (which has over 500+ comments) she tried to explain her self and get others to see her viewpoint. Everyone knows however, that she is just being an attention whore and looking for sympathy after being outed by an entire fandom. Of course, doing this does bring in the white knights and make her feel better about herself.
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Chewfox Finally Earns Her Permaban
At FWA 2010, Chewfox managed to summon up enough nerve to brave the furry public and attend the one convention who forgot to check their registration rolls for her rolls. And did it while wearing a shirt she made herself with the following written on it:
—Chewfox, conveniently ignoring the 90% of the fandom that now hates her guts | ||
Fortunately, since FWA is a big convention by furry standards, Fagoneer didn't need to rely on secondhand information -- he walked right by her wearing the shirt. We can only assume Chewfox was blinded by her newfound fame.
As of Saturday, March 27th, 2010, Chewfox was permabanned a second time from FurAffinity.
... the pictures speak for themselves.
Regardless, furry newfags continue to post on her FA user page well after the ban even though it clearly says when she was banned. Furries don't know how to read.
The Landwhale And Its Journals
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Chewfox explains how she's gonna help the furries -
Then she tells them how disappointed she is that they're berating her instead of fucking in animal costumes -
Dragoneer lets his rage shine through -
With enough failure, even furries can be shamed
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Cause only Bitches watch Tyra Banks, amirite? -
Chewfox's INNER ANIMAL -
STRATEGICALLY PLACED HOLES -
Friendly advice whale -
Tom cat should try out this one -
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She should've seen it coming... -
I'd hit it...with bullets -
Typical audience reaction -
Dragoneer is disappoint
External Links
- ChewFox (banned) on Fur Affinity
- Chew Fox on MySpace (restricted)
- ChewFox on YouTube
- Chewfox on Facebook
- Chewfox on Twitter (deleted)
Higher quality on MEGAVIDEOR.I.P. Megavideo- Relatives of Chewfox for Doxing
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Chewfox is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |