DaddyOFive

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This person is a fierce alcoholic You can help by sending them pamphlets and donating your liver.

LOL, child protective services are after DaddyOFive and the media fucking hates him now!

DaddyOFive
Nationality	Americunt
Born	December 17, 1982
Residence	Maryland
JewTube	Template:Ytchannel (active)

DaddyOFive (Michael Christopher Martin) is a proud example as to why you wear condoms, or at least learn to smack the shit out of your ungrateful kids, something they don't teach you in parenting classes. He is your typical unfunny prank YouTuber inspired by the lard cameraman behind the Angry Grandpa show, KidBehindACamera. Upon further inspection, it's pretty obvious that DaddyOFive makes videos of pranking/bullying/abusing his kids, in revenge of being the 34 year old man child that he is. At some point way before he made his YouTube channel, he went to Marineland, where he met a whale and it was love at first site for the two. So he kidnapped the whale, married her and made 5 stupid and spoiled children with her, two of them he stole from his sister and are the only gingerheads in the family. Thus, eventually creating the channel we all know and love today. All he wanted was that sweet sweet ad revenue that every "popular" YouTuber wants, so why not film your entire family fucking each other up in exchange for getting large amounts of free money, being scolded by strangers on the Internet for abusing your children, and not having to work a entire day in your life?

The cast

His "loving" family.

This is his little sport Cody! Isn't he having a great time?

Jake smirking in pleasure as Cody gets knocked the fuck out.

• DaddyOFive: The main character. He is an immature asshole who's spent THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of Jew gold on video games, and that's only mentioning his games, all his kids have gaming systems of their own since they are too young for the glorious PC master race. His favorite child is Jake and his least favorite is Cody.

• MommyOFive: Born Heather Lynn Withrow, on August 14, 1983, and has had a prior husband by the name of Rickie Zopp. The only thing she does better then looking like a whale is literally acting like a whale. This obese redneck of a woman justifies pulling a knife on her man child husband over being sprayed by a Nerf water gun. Will probably end up in a mental hospital someday. It is later on revealed that Cody and Emma are not her kids meaning at some point in between Ryan and Alex being born her and DaddyOFive sepereted. (Don't tell me that surprises you.)

• Jake: Apparently the creator of DaddyOFive. Is known for being the clear and very obvious favorite of Daddy and MommyOFive until of course, he comes out as gay which everyone knows he will grow up to be with his soft voice then they'll kick him out at 18. Loves picking on his younger siblings cause chances are. He'll never pick on somebody his own age cause he'd cry like a little bitch.

• Ryan: MommyOFive's favorite child hence why he's such a porker. He's mostly known for stealing candy from his parents cause he's a fat fucking cunt.

• Emma: You know that kid is stupid when even your mother says that you're dumb. If you watch some of his cringeworthy videos. You may understand why. You may think she's a bad child but chances are they've seen nothing... They might want to run when she starts getting her period like WhaleOFive does seemingly everyday. She was also the last kid to get her first gaming system as before that, she was doing the women duties in the house like a good woman does along with MommyOFive. and of course cause girls suck at video games.

• Cody: CopperCab back when he was a child. He's the center of attention in possibly a 3rd of DaddyOFive's videos and pranks. He's your typical screaming, immature and somewhat mentally unstable xbox live player. His favorite things to do are playing with his shit and smearing it all over the walls and floors,stealing for the hell of it and fucking around with his siblings shampoo. Daddy and MommyOFive hate this little shit so much that they literally left him at grandma's house while the rest of the family went to Disney World (mostly for stealing, despite all the kids except for Emma having been caught stealing as well). It wouldn't be a surprise to see him on the news in 10 years time about him having shot up a school or something. Then DaddyOFive will become DaddyOFour.

• Alex: Mini Cody. Just as annoying but more loved by his parents due to not reacting to pranks as hard and not being born a ginger. Clearly hates Cody for whatever reason as he got him in trouble resulting in Cody's 3ds getting smashed by his dad. (And for the record, he didn't by him a new one.) Stupid kid thought it would be a good idea to tell his grandma about what he did which backfired on him entirely. MommyOFive shows her favoritism by preventing the dad from destroying his 3ds and still allowing him to go to Disney World. He's mostly known for stealing one of KidBehindACamera's wrestler dolls despite the fat fucker having thousands left. Arguably the dumbest kid out of the five along with Emma.

Child Abuse Allegations

It's supposed that they have a child abuse ring disguised as a YouTube channel, which couldn't be closer to the truth than it already is. The parents and older kids laughing in the younger kids' face every time at the end of a video when a prank has been done, we are glad that this has stopped, despite it happening for months at a time. It's safe to say that they are raising future school shooters, since some school shooters generally have a large history of being emotionally, physically, and verbally abused by their immediate family. Michael, knowing that people were coming to logical conclusions and was really finding out what was going on behind the scenes, decided to either DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING on his channel or make every video private except one newer video in particular where he makes a statement, apologizing the whole time, being dumbed down to a bitch in front of his fat ass of a wife, and says that the videos were faked in an attempt to cover himself, even though we already know what's going on by now. He also says in the description that we are the ones that are putting him and his family in real danger, when we weren't the ones that were beating the shit out of our children. To top it all off, the title of the apology video is "Family Destroyed Over False Aquisations". Making a very long story short: if you're going to be serious for once in your life, at least make good use of your spell checker on the browser, since it doesn't even look like you tried to cover your tracks.

Dad Pulls A Gun On His Own Child

You read that sub-section title correct. While it's the less active channel, MommyOFive still has her videos up and not trying to hide her ass from anyone, and this video makes the point of this article even more clear, proving that they are indeed some sick individuals that need to seek some family therapy. Pointing your gun at one of your sons that's pretending to be a intruder as a part of some innovative "prank" and ringing the annoying alarm throughout your house in order to scare somebody into firing the trigger is one of the stupidest fucking things you can do as a parent, the situation being worsened even more when you take in consideration that they were fully aware of this event occurring prior to filming.

Gallery

How To Properly Treat Your Children About missing Pics

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  Daddy hit 'em in the face, apparently.
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  Cody crying like a little bitch because his Dad caught him masturbating without a condom planning to shoot up his school.
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  Parents would KILL to see some WWE SmackDown children edition on JewTube!
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  In the Martin house, you need to prove your manliness by slapping a bitch. Do it for the Vine!
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[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  Daddy threw Cody into a bookshelf, thus giving him a bloody nose in the aftermath.
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  Then the asshole threw him again.

External Links

YouTube

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Other

• Their business, some shit they copyrighted or whatever.
• His PlayStation Network profile.
  
  
• His Xbox Live profile. Privated everything like he did with his youtube videos.
  
  

	DaddyOFive is part of a series on YouTube.
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