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Argentina

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Its geographical context
Argies are in for it.

Argentina is an experimental breeding colony in South America, where Italians are allowed to mate with Spanitards and Jews.

Then throw some German, British, Arabs, and Irish into the mix as well as the native Indian savages. Then have them all speak a highly offensive form of Spanish with some Italian, English, and German added in, all with a horrible pseudo-Italian accent similar to Don Corleone's. The Argentese have skin grease, curly greasy hair, Jew, drunkedness and a bad temper, and Sadism.

It's usual in Argentina for men to date younger women, but in late years they've been pushing it, to the point where pedophilia is practically legal. The entire population of Argentina are either psychopaths, dorks, lamers, gnomes, pedophiles, or naive tourists.

Argentina has some of the sluttiest women, most passable transvestites, and gayest men ever. There is another article in this comprehensive Encyclopedia that describes Argentina in its most intimate essence.

Current Rule

Argies believe they are too smart for free-market, so they instead try and try to choose a leader as smart as they are (how hard could it be to find one?) to rule them in Utopian socialism.

Argentina is a thriving democracy as of last thursday, where citizens can freely chose their representatives and have their rights guaranteed by a badly translated, plagiarized, U.S. Constitution.

Cristina Kirchner after every speech
This is what some people use to fap

As an effeminate country with a Pink White House, the current President is Eva Peron v 2.0, now with moar botox! Her policies are illuminated by the grace and wisdom of her lovers Hugo and Fidel (indication she might be into necrophilia). Since voting is mandatory, and 51% of Argies are malnourished yet overweight wannabe Euroniggers, there is no possible doubt that Evita 2 was democratically elected through electoral fraud. Some say she is kind of hot looking because of so many tax-dollars going to her botox injections, but neck down she is like your gramma - reverse butterface. Her cabinet consists of respected Maoist Terrorists of the 70s and other prestigious capomafias and cocaine traffickers. Much like in Venezuela, the opposition is bothered that the current government is not Maoist and Terrorist enough. One can get an idea of Argie politics by either watching the movie Hoffa while tripping on acid, or by really paying attention to the news.

Buenos Aires

Argentina's capital city, Buenos Aires (Españolo for "Good Airs" by the native heathens), is filled with crazy bullshit. In the same square foot you may find an hero, a cat, a Mexican, a shemale, and a pretty woman (who is probably underage, so do! this is deep south of tha bordah). The city is divided in several parts, and getting lost is easier than finding cats on teh internets. If you do get lost, head for the barrios around Boca at night wearing a River shirt and Los Bosteros will offer the quintessentially warm hospitality of their neighbourhood.

The Argie-Bargie Falklands War Guerra de las Malvinas

NOT yours, Argies

In 1982, Argieland was under a token Kissinger-Mandated anticommunist dictatorship, with all the torture (including electrocuting of Human Science teacher's genitalia and drowning ppl in their own shit), random rape, and death by crucifixion this entails. They soon realized that something had to be done to distract the populace from the random killings, though. It was then that faggoty leader Leopoldo Galtieri devised his master plan. As less wasted leaders did in the past, he would pay FIFA to let Argentina win the World Cup, and everyone would be happy. However, for no apparent reason, he went batshit insane and decided to go down to teh dockz to gather rowing boats for the Argentinian Military to invade the Falklands.

In at least one month of extremely intense preparation he amassed the following forces:

  • An old rustbucket cruiser
  • 300 wooden boats
  • Modified fishing ships
  • 2 rubber dinghies
  • A bunch of plastic canoes
  • A donkey
  • Two fucking Exocet missiles because the French got scared. If Galtieri(who was son of stinky italian immigrants) had anymore, he probably sold them on the black market
  • A bunch of crop dusters armed with Ancient Chinese rockets
  • 50 WWI tanks
  • 500 18th century cannons
  • 5,000 infantrymen with muskets, hunting rifles, kitchen knives, and paintball guns

Galtieri was known to smoke pot during leadership at the time, because somehow he thought a cruiser from World War II would've been able to sink two aircraft carriers, an entire frigate convoy, and fend off aircraft attacks. It is a fact, though, that the backward sheep-like populace rallied in support.

Noone knew how the fuck the Argentinians would win, as the Falklands belonged to England, and everyone knows that the Royal Navy would pwn the shit outta anything that threatened British sovereignty.

With his WWII cruiser and his many Injun-powered canoes, Galtieri began his suicide mission. A British submarine sank the cruiser, ensuring a lot of lulz. The British ships were repeatedly attacked by Argentinian planes, who had a high old time bombing and torpedoing them, and killing lots of British soldiers and sailors while injuring and burning many more and sinking some ships. However, the old AA cannons on the British ships, some manned by 17 year-old boys, actually shot down dozens of Argentinian planes, and their pilots were killed or captured. Then, the British landed their ground forces and the fun really began. The Argies were always entrenched in prepared positions and usually had the advantange of firing first, and sometimes the British had to attack uphill, but British casualties were always around half of what the Argies lost, sometimes just a little more than that. The British would always win, and the Argies would always have to retreat or surrender, mimicking French tactics. The greatest ground achievement for the Argies was when a team of their special commandos attacked two British soldiers and killed one and captured the other after a long firefight.

Guerra en los Caminos

Two Gauchito Gils, one cup of delicious Dulce de Leche

Over 9000 people die on the roads of Argentinia every second because machismo dictates that driving your 18 wheeler full of unrefined dulce de leche down the centre of the road while drunk on aguardiente, unable to see because your eyes are full of tears from thinking about the injustice of the fate of Gauchito Gil, is perfectly acceptable.

Borges

Borges. Invented TOW and told us to fear it.

Jorge Luis Borges was an Argentinian science fiction writer who at least 100 years ago predicted that a collaborative encyclopaedia full of made up stuff would take over the world; its nonsense facts replacing the actual truth of real life goddammit.[1] As a result, he was denounced as a Jew hater by those that run things. Seeing as how throughout his childhood his first name was mercilessly pronounced "You're Gay" by even his best friends, he decided to renounce sex and instead invent post modernism.

The Country of Balls

Typical Argentinians.
Argentinians have a certain European charm to them

Ballers are the main professionals in Argentina, because balls"balling" is Argentinian for whining and crying, the sorts of things that liberals do in other nations when the conservatives or neocons run the government. You can see a picture of typical Argentinians in the paragraph picture on the right; notice the women's purses that are a required attire for a Baller. Ballers most always wear a sporting uniform like those used to play Soccer, or "Futbol" as Argies call it because they also use centigrade.

The ones who are not ballers are cartoneros, trashy people living off trash. These are homeless Amerindians high on jenkem (as opposed to North American tribes who've discovered Listerine) who literally feed off the garbage they pick into in the city. They are much like raccoons, but in a bigger, moar devastating scale, as they horde into the city every evening picking crap from trash bags, looking for food left over to lick off their nutritional daily base and collecting pricey plastic to sell to recyclers in exchange for Paco, that drug made of crack, cat shit and broken glass. This is exactly what Truman Capote meant when he referred to Buenos Aires as the closest thing to Tiffany's.

It is a well known fact that nobody from Argentina ever made a damn difference in this world. Even Che Guevera didn't make a difference apart from being on those gay t-shirts that college students wear to get hippie pu55y.

Invented by Uruguay
Argentinia's God

Tango

Tango is an orange-flavoured carbonated beverage invented by Urugayans as revenge after the German battleship Graf Spee nearly caused Argentina and Uruguay to have another shitty South American war. Tango was unleashed upon the Argies by firing it across the Rio de la Plata Estuario del Fango using orcish ballistas, causing those who supped its sugary goodness tremor, akathisia and a homosexuality only relieved by dancing with women while dressed up all fancy. It has been described as vertical sex, when any fule knows you can have proper sex standing up and all that gimmicking with your legs like a spastic is beyond gay. Not being allowed to invent any drinks of its own, Argentina had yet another shitty South American war with Chile and/or Peru about who invented the pisco sour, which, like any self-respecting alcoholic drink, has eggs in it.

Peronism

This is Argentina's own brand of fascism. It started with Dictator Juan Domingo Peron, famous for having served in WWII on the German front. His ambition was to one day be able to rule planet Earth, by exterminating blacks, Jews, and Squaws. Sometime after his violent rise to power, an runaway teenage pornstar became First Lady, which is usual in Argie higher spheres of power. Her name was Eva Peron. She was a mix of Squaw and Italian Basque, as over 9000 Argies are which makes them extremely unattractive, even more so than Puerto Ricans and other Niggers. His will was done, Amen, and by His grace only, Eva died soon after, during an operation that was supposed to help fix her Jew. That was the Lord's last act of kindness towards Argieland because the country is still ruled by Peronist fucktards who were terrorist war criminals during Kissinger's mandate.

Economy

Notable Argentinians

Types of Argies

Argies: albino niggers.
Typical Argentinian Female

People from Argentina are to be referred to as "Argentinians" or "Argies," and only elitist buttfucks insist on calling them "Argentines."

ARGIES

ARGIES

ARGIES

ARGIES

ARGIES

ARGIES

ARGIES



  • Cabezas: Argie niggers and prairie-niggers. They steal, do drugs, can't read and have the IQ of a monkey. Much like Arabs in Europe, Prairieniggers in Argentina fuck a lot and fail to abort (mainly because they use their toddlers as panhandling rookies) and so they are fucking everywhere. The government knows this (Peron discovered it) so they get payed to vote for whoever candidate offers them the better future. They have their own slang, which is based on fifty, probably random, words repeated very fast while shaking a hand, challenging others to fight for no apparent reason.
  • Chetos: It's a complete social class that behaves fully as 16-year-old girls (even men behave like that). They think they are better so they hate everything and everyone. 99% of them have a pickup truck. They speak an abridged version of Valley Girl consisting of three interchangeable diatribes: "o sea" ("I mean"), "tipo" ("like"), "me entendés?" ("you know") followed by "a full" ("totally")
  • Emos: They are everywhere! Everyone hates them over in Argentina, too, because they are stupid (even more so than the other kind of Argies). Their slang is a derivation of that of Chetos, only they speak softly and add "odio todo" ("I hate everything") and "sangre" ("blood") every few words.
  • Nazis: The country has been secretly runned by Martin Borman since 1945. Low-rank nazis abound everywhere but they are not allowed to attack the equally numerous jews, because as everyone knows, jews and nazis have "secretly" united to rule the world at least 100 years ago.
  • Jews: In most cases Ashkenazis mixed with Goyim Germans and other Eastern Europisches weissetrash. They own all industry, all the media, all real estate and - secretly - the Peronist Party. There are some "pure" Jews, most of Sephardic background, who believe in God and refuse to marry outside the immediate family (no one knows which is the cause and which the consequence).
  • Pretty girls: There are pretty girls everywhere. Srsly, everywhere. As this is a Roman Catholic dominated country you'll see a ready-for-ass-fuck girl in every street. Most of Argentina's women are do-able, so, for the balance, most straight men are ugly. Pretty girls talk with their bodies, and everyone listens. Many foreigners will ask you how pretty they are, because they have no
  • Shemales: In recent years there has been an increase in the number of "confused" men. Their number one excuse is "I was meant to be a girl but was born in the wrong body." They talk like women, only with thick male voices. General Argentinian women should not be confused with shemales; since this is a Catholic country there are always plenty of hideously ugly women around.
  • The Police: A recent survey by your mom has showed that their police force is one of the world's finest, completely free of corruption (except for shooting odd niggers, but who cares about them because they are a bunch of big lipped wankers that cause trouble)

Use of the word "Negro"

  • In the morbid Argie slang, "Negro" is an affectionate vocative reserved for the lighter-skinned but socially confused upper-class males, or cheto. The Whiter the person is, the more likely it is he is going to be called, or call his rich white friends, "Negro." When the person uses "Negrito" (Li'l Nigger) instead, he means he now considers you a close friend and is therefore prepared to ask you for some money he's never going to return. Getting financially defrauded by an Argie means they have accepted you into their select circle of wannabe gangstas and you should feel honored.
  • Negro de Mierda (Nigger of Shit -> Shitty Nigger or Scheissesnigger for our Coprophiliac friends) on the other hand means exactly the opposite of the above. It is a derogatory term used by the limpieza de sangre to refer to the delinquent half-Squaw half-Guido population. Since the typical Argie has never seen an African in his life, the Guido Mongrel is the darkest skinned people they know. In recent years there has been in fact a handful of Patois-speaking Africans infiltrating Argentina, but people just ignore their presence and vane attempts of selling you fake male jewelry in an attempt to get rid of them through indifference.

Argies Hate:

Achievements (if any)

  • Utter isolation and revisionism to the point when they think they have invented stuff that actually originated in the rest of the world decades before they "achieved" it.
  • Being even more obnoxious than Americans while traveling to a foreign country (an amazing feat in and of itself).

Don't BAWWW for Me Argentina

File:Argie fail.jpg

Trolling members of the Argie Volk is quite unnecessary since they make a pretty good job of doing that themselves. However, for a petty flame war that guarantees fast results just point out:

  • Maradona's goal against England was made with the hand.
  • The Rio de la Plata (River Plate) is actually an estuary and not even the widest one (that title being held by the St. Lawrence).
  • The ball pen was invented by a Hungarian, not an Argie.
  • The Falklands are not called "Malvinas", and they never have been, nor ever will be, Argie.
  • Point out that their neighbor, Uruguay, pwned them in the very first World Cup, and that Luis Suarez > Lionel Messi.
  • They do not have any prerogative whatsoever in the invention of the bus, the sewing machine, the identity document, the first helicopter, animated cartoons, the traffic lights for the blind, disposable syringes, soccer, the ball, the soccer ball, caramel, or God.
  • Call Argies "nigger" even though black people are rare in Argentina (2% of the population, lol). Americans, most of whom are black, enjoy projection.
  • They don't have the best soccer team of the world, otherwise they would have won more than two world cups.
  • The best asses in the world are Brazilian, not Argentinian.
  • Their music bands suck ass and are just a poor man's rip-offs of North American bands.
  • They are even moar hypocritical and retarded than most Americans (another mindfreak), and they don't know how to drive a goddamn car for shit.
  • Just tell them Perón was BFF with Hitler.
  • Remind them how their beloved Maradona went to rehab and got fat.
  • The entire Colombia team was high when they beat Argentina.
  • Tell them dulce de leche tastes like vomit.

EPIC BUTTHURT!!

My face when Argentina

What has science done

Murka has a bald eagle, Germany has an iron cross, and Argentina has a creepy pedophile face. Staring at it long enough will bring convulsive lulz, which in turn brings butthurt wrapped in rage to the overly-sensitive Argies. It turns out the face is actually a Sun god worshipped by the indigenous prairie niggers of Argentina, which is ironic that a country obsessed with everything white would honour lesser races by having their creepy dead god on the national flag. Regardless, Argies aren't white people, so it doesn't matter.

Residents of 4chan's international board decided to shoop the face onto everything. The board now lives beneath a sea of Argentinian tears.

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