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Good Korea
Not to be confused with Evildoer Korea, Good Korea (or combined as one word is Gorea) is an American colony much like Puerto Rico but with radically higher IQ. This is not ironic or in any way in line with ED, it's a just a fact missing from Wikipedia: South Korea is no more sovereign than Puerto Rico. Their army is directly under command of the American Army and their first president was an American Hawaiian military dictator. They make good stuff cheaply so that our importers, distributors, wholesalers and retailers can all mark it up for huge profits. In this way they make capitalism work and democracy thrive. They also have very expensive services for tourists who have financially and erotically outgrown Thailand. Slaves and Whores, much like Cuba before the Revolution. Good Korea was one of the United States' 20th century acquisitions in accordance with the long-term Manifest Destiny.
Geography
Good Korea is immediately south of Evildoer Korea, on the bottom half of a peninsula that is west of Japan. It has water on both sides. It is a very convenient place for throwing things into Evildoer Korea. It used to have some good surf beaches, but now they are rather untidy.
People
People living in Good Korea are called Goreans. There are millions of Asians there, but they all make Samsungs, Kias or other stuff that is good but not too good. Because they are not Evildoers, we allow them to eat and don't shoot them very much. When not working or eating kimchi and squid, Good Koreans spend most of their time engaging in popular ancient Korean pastimes such as getting numerous plastic surgeries, drinking some kind of watered down vodka bullshit, playing Starcraft, dodging fans, and shooting up schools. They also have happened to master the art of breeding the perfect size micropenis, which is now an official trademark of the Koreans since 1953. Awwww yeah.
Like Neutral Korea's music which comes in two forms jrock and other jrock, there are two types of Korean music kpop and krap. Coincidentally or not, one of the music styles is a bastardized spelling of what it actually sounds like.
All the men are drunks and all the women are scared of you and want to marry you. Children are starved to death while their parents raise virtual childs, srsl
Culturally, Koreans, both Good and Evildoers, have a special ability to take other people's fucked up ideas four thousand steps too far. Look at what they did with Confucianism, what the Evildoer Koreans are doing with socialism, or at how fucked up the Good Korean Christians are; missionary work in Afghanistan, who came up with that idea? And who can forget their national sport where they strip mine planets for vespene gas so then can build millions of pylons then zerg rush each other into oblivion.
If you are planning a trip to Korea, why not try raping one of their women? As the Japanese Prime Minister knows, they are really asking for it.
Government
Good Korea is owned and ruled in its entirety by Hyundai Corporation. Hyundai's employees and employee's families are led to believe they also have some local political leaders who aren't very interesting and speak a foreign language.
Economy
You can make a lotta lotta money in Good Korea. Make sure your mutual funds and IRAs include Good Korean companies. If you can't get a job where you are despite owning a suit, you can be a highly paid English-speaking monkey to entertain their small children. Many Good Koreans might be confused because white people (like Alan Alda and Jamie Farr) look good in movies and you don't. But don't worry! They will never fire you no matter how fat, gross, diseased, and lazy you are. And don't forget, although Raël may be banned in Korea, he still needs your 10 percent.
Internationally, Good Korea releases MMORPGs for free, which are usually awful, even by MMORPG standards. Kids will actually pay for extra, useless features on this shit, which will normally make their character look more like a fag or weeaboo. The profit Good Korea makes on this faggotry is uncertain, though it could be over 20% of their economy.
Gorea is trying to take over the world by making and releasing free shitty gay TV Drama + K-poop featuring post-plastic-surgery pretty boys and girls, but no one gave a shit except for a few pathetic Koreaboos in South East Asia.
US Military in Good Korea
If you are serving in the military, please take advantage of the many prostitutes that populate the red light district. Remember, though: Koreans hate any and all United States soldiers, so avoid asking questions, unless you would like to contribute to the Korean national pastime (other than Starcraft): Blankly staring and giggling.
It is a known fact that a Korean cannot kill more than 33 people without killing him or herself.
How to Troll Good Korea
- Tell them Korea owes all its Jew to their Japanese Masters.
- Call kimchi a kimuchi.
- Describe their country as a big factory
- Tell them Dokdo belongs to japan.
- Make fun of Starcraft or any of the shitty MMORPGs or MMOFPS they dedicate their worthless lives on.
- Say that worker rushing sucks and only shows that they have a small dick.
- Tell them comfort women did 9/11.
- Tell them Japan is better.
- Tell them that their country has a rich, long history of being buttraped and under the control of other countries to such an extent that they have no distinct individual culture.
- Say hello to them on the streets. This will cause them to lock up into a giggling fit of fear.
- Lock them in a room with a fan turned on because they seriously believe that stupid shit.
- Be Kim Jong Il.
- Remind them that, just like Japan, South Korea is now America's bitch.
- To add insult to injury, remind them that whereas Japan at least put up a fight before becoming America's butt buddy, South Korea bent over willingly to let America rape them.
- If they do it willingly, it's not rape. Then they're just being fags.
- For more lulz, mistake them for japs.
- Inform an older Korean man that yes, there are gay Koreans.
- Tell them their national soccer team is shitty.
- Convince people Samsung is a Japanese company.
- Remind them that all their good looking women are a product of extensive plastic surgery.
Korean stereotypes FACTS
See Korean.
External Links
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Good Korea is related to a series on AZNS. | [Herrow] |
