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{{Timeline|Featured article May 30, [[2011]]|[[EarthBound]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Emmy Rossum]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article May 30, [[2011]]|[[EarthBound]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Emmy Rossum]]}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People]]
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Revision as of 16:55, 10 September 2011

Momma K teaching Kaelin the difference between good touch, bad touch, and please make it fucking stop.
Momma loves her pubeless prince.

Katherine Marion (also known as Momma K) is 4chan's 2011 nominee for mother of the year. Miss Marion's accomplishments include single-handedly raising a teenage boy on a diet of nothing but raw vegetables, breast milk, and love. In her free time, when she's not following her son around filming him poop, Marion works as an escort, kidnaps neighbor children, and runs a fake blog she set up while pretending to be her son.

Her hobbies include forcing her child to eat fertilizer, mocking her son's friends and their parents, uploading videos of Kaelin naked in the bathtub, dancing for her son while wearing little to nothing at all, and yelling at old people on their deathbed. When she's not having one of her daily mental breakdowns she enjoys walking around her neighborhood and scavenging for scraps. After all she's raising a teenager and they can sure eat a lot of cow shit in one sitting so Momma needs to keep on constant lookout for free food.

Some have speculated that Momma is a raving lunatic who fucks her son like his cock contained the secret to eternal youth. They are of course 100% correct and should look into telling me tomorrow's lottery numbers with their astounding powers of observation and foresight. More than likely her 5 hour sunbathing expeditions on the front lawn of her apartment complex have left her stricken with some new form of cancer which makes its victims molest children. NAMBLA finally has a new excuse.

Katherine is rumoured to have an older son, Miss Erik Ribsskog.

IRL

Katherine's 100 percent legit "massage" business
Momma K's vegan website
Another of Momma's numerous websites
So many websites, so little time to whore
   
 
She once played "Stairway to Heaven" on repeat for eight and a half hours (approximately 60 times consecutively)."
 

 
 

World's Happiest Neighbor

Katherine is well-known in her community of Vancouver as a free-spirited and possibly schizophrenic sex worker. Her son Kaelin was stolen by child protective services at the age of 8, but was later returned after Katherine agreed to stop breastfeeding and sleeping with him. She was recently evicted from her apartment complex for setting fires, repeatedly kidnapping neighborhood children, blaring shitty hippie music at all hours of the day, and pouring liquid feces on a neighbor's window. She attributes this eviction to a gang stalking conspiracy.


Kaelin letting everyone on the Internet know that sucking his mom's tits for 7 long years is a totally normal thing.


Her son Kaelin, despite all this, has turned out completely normal all thanks to Momma K's special life skills and child rearing. Having been raised on a steady diet of raw compost stolen from the local fruit markets he has grown into healthy young man who in no way looks like he is malnourished or on the verge of death. People who have stated otherwise are just jealous of him and his mother's happiness and only wish to piss on their parade out of a sense of anger at never having had their mothers film them poop.

For all the naysayers out there here is a video of Kaelin being totally normal and not in anyway showing signs of finally having flipped his shit. It is a sad day on the Internet indeed when a young man can't suck a tit and eat some compost without being saved by assholes on the Internet. Clearly most Americans don't understand that this is normal mother-son bonding by Canadian standards.

After two attempts at being saved by Canadian Child Services and this third one by the Internet as a whole it is unknown just how much more "saving" young Kaelin can handle. Should anyone attempt to intervene again in the future they may end up saving him too much.

It's safe to say that Kaelin has effectively been brainwashed by his mother. Children mentally develop from their environment. Much of a child's influence comes from the parents. However, by the teenage years, a child's mind loses its malleability and will be more or less concluded, which is to say it won't change easily. Because Kaelin is home schooled and doesn't have any friends, ALL of this influence comes from his batshit insane mother. The only time he has even spent away from his mother was spent with Child Protective Services. And because he's seen his mother make an ass out of herself for his whole life, he sees her behavior as the norm. Even if she were to be v&, Kaelin could never be saved at this point. He's too far gone. Any attempts to reach the boy will be in vain. He doesn't want your help. In his eyes, Anonymous is the enemy, and his mother is a martyr.

Story

One day some really cool guy posted a You fall in love you lose thread on /b/ containing a jewtube video of Katherine dancing in a thong. At that time no one knew exactly what the fuck to make of it and so typical dumbfuckery took hold until a few hours later when some random anon decided to lurk her YouTube accounts and much to his surprise discovered that it was actually her son who was recording all of the footage from the videos. Minutes later a reasonable discussion was a brewing.

As should be expected from the users of /b/ they all handled the situation with grace and maturity. Each politely took turns leaving constructive comments on Momma K's videos and user page as well as sending her well thought out compliments via email and instant messager. A few kind souls even order the family some food after having been touched by their vegan pledge. Many hugs and much crying ensued as the internet love machine went into action spreading mirth and good cheer in their wake.

Sadly Momma K's main YouTube channel was mysteriously flagged and has since been terminated due to violations of the sites community guidelines and rules. Not to worry though as Kaelin "The Pubeless Prince" has recently opened up a brand new channel to answer everyone's questions and concerns.

Momma K has recently made a new account where she has promised to upload her old videos.It is unsure if this is actually her or just some random retard who doesn't know that "Katherine" begins with a "k" not a "c".Whoever it is has been verbally abusing trolls who are trying to give sound advice

   
 
Well, her son said in the comments of his video, that it was very natural that her mother breastfeeds him till the age of 7. He clearly has no reference point in his logic other than what his mother taught him. Kaelin is home schooled, so no chance for him to develop independent ways of thinking. This case is much similar with what happens in children who grow up in isolated and close cult communities.
 

 
 

—Some anon on /b/

He Said / She Said

Kaelin filming his mommy

Listed below are some facts about Katherine and Kaelin

  • Katherine is not a MILF, in order for that to happen someone has to want to fuck her, aside from her son.
  • Katherine is 51 years old (January 5th, 1960)
  • Katherine considers herself to be an actress, a model, a comedienne, an "Improvisational Empress", a Burlesque artist, a radio personality, a columnist, and a photographer, to name just a few.
  • Her son was born Kaelin William Marion on 4th April 1996, thus making him 15 years old.
  • Kaelin is home schooled.
    • That's right, Katherine can legally teach. Videos of her son show that he stutters quite frequently, and has trouble pronouncing many words (i.e. malnourished; prostitute; autism). Assuming she actually teaches him anything at all, it goes without saying that she's obviously a terrible teacher. If she can even get him into a college later on, he will definitely have some, if not immense, trouble with even the core freshman courses.
  • According to her, Kaelin is 5'11" tall.
    • This is probably not true. Considering Kaelin's diet, which is reflected in his physique and pale skin, he's likely significantly shorter.
  • Kaelin does not have any friends. Any and all friends he managed to meet in the past have all been driven away by Katherine, because if she can't have him, no one can.
  • Katherine forces her son to record all her video's, whether it is sexual or not.
  • She records her son as well.
    • Many videos of Kaelin border on child pornography.
  • Katherine has access to her son's YouTube channels and blogs, therefore she can speak in his name on the interwebs
  • Kaelin was once jumped and his hair was cut off by a bunch of "gang members" in an alleyway. Allegedly, Katherine went to tears about the situation, contacted the police, and attacked a random ginger and interrogated her.
    • This was posted about in Kaelin's blog. That is to say, it was probably written by Katherine, and it probably never happened.
  • Katherine is emotionally unstable.
  • Katherine thinks she is still sexy.
  • She feels the constant urge to shoehorn as many tit puns as physically possible into any message she posts.
    • She's that desperate for sex.
  • She writes a shitload of amateur poems.
  • In her young days, Katherine was a nude model, possibly a porn star as well.
  • She used to sleep naked next to her son.
  • Katherine fed Kaelin breast milk to him until the age of 8.
  • Kaelin only gets to eat bean sprouts and shit cupcakes which you fertilize your garden with... every fucking day
  • Katherine claims to have been raped twice.
    • According to a television news report (yes, she was on national television - and Kaelin was with her) about one of the offender's parole hearings, the man pleaded not guilty and, although he was found guilty by the trial, held his testimony for 36 years in prison until the parole hearing. He now claims that he did rape her, but he has not revealed any details regarding the incident, nor will he say why he did it.
      • That is to say, Katherine was probably never raped.
  • Katherine has had at least eight abortions, according to her blog.
  • She sometimes refers to her son as a puberty-ridden teen that she decided to keep instead of abort.
  • Katherine has multiple sisters according to her blog
  • She is a vegetarian, together with her son. They have been known to eat plant fertilizer and wild flowers.
  • Often times, particularly when Kaelin was younger, Katherine would go out to provide prostitution services and not return until well into early morning hours. Kaelin was, of course, left alone without any supervision the entire time.
    • Posts in Kaelin's blog suggest he isn't aware of her prostitution services. In fact, he praises his mother for managing to make money to pay for his shit cupcakes and raw vegetables (not that she pays for any of that anyway). Because, you know, providing the very basics of living to your child is so extraordinary.
  • She seems to be a perfectionist.
  • Katherine has been evicted from her previous home due to various reasons.
    • No, it wasn't because of the rent.
  • The Marions do not own a television.
  • According to her blog 4chan and reddit only spread lies about her and her son.
  • She recorded her mother in her death bed dying while Katherine kept saying "Scream mommy, scream for me mommy!"
  • According to her blog she has a 34F breastsize
  • She even has a vid somewhere where she records her sleeping son and keeps saying "My pretty boy."
  • Some poem on her blog strongly tells the readers that she has been sexually abused as a child by her uncle, but she writes a lot of bullshit so this might not be true as well.
  • She considers herself to be "Mother Teresa with tits".
  • Katherine is raising Kaelin to be "the perfect man" so she can fuck the shit out of him the moment he's legal.
    • Not that age should stop her.

Facts her ex-neighbor stated

  • Constantly forgetting her keys in her apartment and shouting upstairs at her son to let him or throw down the keys.
  • When calling to her son, makes a bird call noise. This happens minimum once a day.
  • These bird calls and instances of forgetting her keys occur anywhere from 7 am to 2 am, typically occurring directly outside my bedroom window.
  • Prior to a meeting with the landlord in July, would play music loudly past midnight. More often than not, the same CD would play on repeat until past midnight.
  • Once played "Stairway to Heaven" on repeat for eight and a half hours (approximately 60 times consecutively).
  • Admitted in meeting with landlord that she often would leave the music on while leaving the apartment for bike rides or shopping trips
  • Would throw water out her window facing the front lawn. This water would hit the window below (my window).
  • Threw a yellow-brown viscous substance (claimed it was a banana smoothie/puree) out her window. Substance stuck to window, staining it.
  • Upon request to clean the window, she claimed she would and then did not clean it for several (more than two) months. Ignored several notes tapes to the window requesting it to be cleaned and not only ignored it, but put a video in YouTube mocking the situation.
  • Spent nearly every day during the summer sunbathing out on the front lawn. Would spend the time either listening to music or talking to people who walk by, often for hours on end and always in a monotone voice that made sitting in my living room unbearable.
  • Her attitude made entering the building from the front door while she sunbathed extremely uncomfortable.
  • Completely ignores personal boundaries and disrespects others. Approaching her about any of these problems resulted in hostile behavior and discouraged any interaction with her.
  • Katherine has, in the past, allowed Kaelin to bring friends home. Katherine did not allow her son's guests to leave or contact their parents until well into early morning hours on every occasion.
    • The last of these incidents resulted in a missing child report.
  • Would shave Kaelin`s pubes too make him look young again( he is 15)
  • Ignores what the law says and isn't afraid of anything
  • Called the police for a missing child report after he did not came home for 3 hours
  • Kaelin can not play with the neighbor`s kid
  • In the video where she was on the grass crying for her mother its clearly shown she became more insane

First-hand Testimony from a Grocery Store Manager

  • Always comes in late, right at closing while the shelves are being organized. Wants free stuff because of it (the inconvenience.)
  • Gets her son to do the bulk of the daytime shopping. Gets constantly heckled by staff.
  • Reeks of herbal hippie balms.
  • Confronts mass mobs of customers with the folly of their lives, their "black auras," and their "wasted lives" working conventional jobs.
  • COMPLAINS ABOUT TROLLS.
  • Brags that she's a famous E-Celebrity.
  • Her son's breath constantly smells of old milk.
  • Will stand talking to a cashier for up to an hour, never taking any hint that her presence is not welcome.
  • Tries to seduce the junior night manager with allusions to naked massage and old tits.
  • Uses every chance she gets to slam her ex-husband / men in general.
  • Kaelin is scared of absolutely everyone and displays extreme signs of inadequate socialization and agoraphobia.
  • Has mentioned ED - "trollbase."

Canada: The documentary

Recently someone with far too much fucking time on their hands compiled a video explaining Momma K and Kaelin's special relationship. Within a few days Kaelin himself had seen the video and did an interview with his mother to get her thoughts on it. What followed (from 40 seconds onward) was a totally reasonable and well thought out response to the allegations in the Canadian Insanity video. In no way whatsoever did Momma K come off as bat-shit crazy and out of her fucking mind. After all any response where a YouTube video gets compared to Hitler is a completely sane one.


Part 1 of 2


Part 2 of 2



Momma K's reaction.

Other Videos




   
 
Being the best

I can be, that's me.
 


 
 

Momma K - Bragging about herself, while Kaelin videotapes.

Gallery

Dox

  • Full name: Katherine (Katrina) Marion
  • Date of birth: 1960, January 5th
  • Address: 1335 71 Avenue West Vancouver, British Columbia V6P 4M7 Canada 8092 Haig Street Vancouver, British Columbia V6P 4R9 Canada
  • E-mails: [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]
  • Phone Number: 604-266-5583
  • Alternate Numbers: 604-269-3599, 604-268-2878, 604-361-5779, 778-678-8974
  • Companies:
    www.SuperNaturalWoman.com
    www.RawsomeChef.com
    www.KatherineTheGreat.com
    www.GoddessKatrinaMassage.com
    www.3rdEyeFoto.com
  • Schools: CSSS - 1978, Fraser Valley College - 1979, Langara University - 1998
  • Hometown: Chiliwack

Child protective services

Child Protective Services in her area. Contact:

Intake and Protection
Telephone: 250 565-4200
Facsimile: 250 565-4316
Mailing Address: 1441 - 7th Ave. Prince George, BC V4L 3P3

If you do call ask for Caroline. She's the caseworker in charge of Kaelin.

See also

External links

Katherine Marion is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal
Katherine Marion is part of a series on
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Related Topics [-+]
Featured article May 30, 2011
Preceded by
EarthBound
Katherine Marion Succeeded by
Emmy Rossum