Gaza War

Israel's new flag

The new Palestinian flag.

Gaza furry convention under attack

In AD 2008, War was beginning. Since last Thursday the Arabs in the Gaza Strip have been shooting rockets into Israel because the Jews have been blockading the region to stop the Arabs A) from shooting said rockets and/or B) getting food. Its a beautiful system eh? Anyway It all came to a head when the Jews got bored of a temporary cease fire and decided to surprise buttsecks the Arabs and invaded the region, killing about everyone. Needless to say it was time for some collateral payback and Jew rage of epic proportions. Much butthurt and BAWWWWWWW ensued and like with every tragic event in the news lately, so did the lulz.

Hamas propaganda poster

How it all began

What the Americans think of the whole thing

God's chosen people protect teh country

If you attend public school, you may not be aware why joo's and the Chickpea people are fighting over such a shitty piece of land in the first place. Well toward's the end of WWII, Churchill, Stalin, and President Michael Wilson were all thinking "OMGWTFBBW what are we going to do with all of these Jews?" Rather than say, intergrate them into their societies they decided to dump them all in their "ancestral homeland" or something. Well it turns out that when you do not live in a location for over a thousand years, other people have a tendency to mosey on down and setup shop. But seeing as these "other people" who setup shop were Muslims, nobody really gave a shit as they'd probably only use the land to manufacture suicide bombs anyway.

Since the only thing more annoying than living with Jews is talking to Arabs, the Allies helped the Jews establish a state with as little input from the people currently living there as possible! And so began the 20th century's greatest mistake, Israel.

Israel explaining why they must finish off the palestinians. Ironically in this apparently very detailed and precise video, they forgot to mention the fact that they imposed a blockade on Gaza which left the Arabs starving and dying of a shitload of diseases. How cute!

Why so hilarious?

Hamas showing their love of lulz

File:It'sTimeForGiys, Brother.jpg

How Israeli soldiers look like. hawt 9th-grader (<- there can't be jewgirls that cute, cosplay pic)

In its efforts to spread peace and democracy throughout the Middle East, the United States thought it would be a good idea to let people who uniformly despise Israel hold elections to choose who should lead them . This resulted in Epic Fail as the Palestinians overwhelmingly elected the evildoers of Hamas in a landslide victory. As democracy and freedom rang throughout the West Bank and Gaza, Bush and Israel initiated a desperate effort to DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING and when this failed began to BAWW about how bad the future for the Palestinians will be under Hamas.

TL;DR Hamas won and nobody could say Shit.

For awhile all was calm until 2007 when Hamas decided to Rape the Palestinian authorities Fatah party and kicked them out of Gaza. It then proceeded to troll Israel with rockets and blockade breaking, which is pretty weak ass shit as these rockets were about as dangerous as dongcopters. When asked why they were continuing to spam Israel with ineffectual rocket attacks, Hamas leaders simply stated that they were doing it for the lulz. Unfortunately for Hamas though, Israel likes lulz too, and bombed Gaza back. Eventually, Jimmy Carter went over and met with Ham-ass terrorists, and tried to negotiate a cease-fire with Israel. Hamas pretended to keep their end of the deal while secretly digging a tunnel into Israel in order to capture a soldier and exchange him for terrorists in Israeli rapehouses. Too bad for them, Israel found out all about it. First, it sent some infantry and tanks and bulldozers to launch a surprise raid into Gaza, where they destroyed the tunnel and pwnt a terrorist. Hamas was not too happy, so they launched some mortars at the Jew invaders, but then Israeli jets bombed the mortar positions and blew up five more terrorists. Bawwww.

Hamas then began firing rockets into Israel again, which Israel responded to by bombing Gaza and killing one, that's right, just one pesky Shitslamist. Then, Hamas tried to raid Israel again, but IDF soldiers caught them trying to blow up the Israel-Gaza border fence, and killed three of them. But those pesky rockets would not stop, and since Israel's mission is to make Jews safe, it decided to attack Gaza and just finish them off.

Thus began their 2 week mission to kill as many Palestinian's as they can. With white napalm. Or at least smash as many windows as possible.

To avoid any confusion when Israel gets accused of war crimes when the bullets finally stop flying, the Jews sent a battalion of lawyers into Gaza.

And the shit just began to roll

Hamas rushed reinforcements to the front lines

What the western media refuses to show you

File:GazaPic1.jpg

A random person took a pic of the war

In response to Hamas’ faggotry Israel decided the best course of action was to begin an epic bombing of Gaza in the hopes of killing all the Muslims once and for all. Cue the drama.

Israeli planes and gunboats and artillery guns began pounding Gaza, killing hundreds of Hamas fighters and human shields. Hamas stole all the aid Israel sent into Gaza for themselves, and did not help civilians or even let them flee, choosing instead to tape civvie suffering for world sympathy. All of the blood and corpses and destruction was displayed over and over again, and Jews who also die do not deserve all the attention anyway. The Israeli Navy also used their advanced missile boats to sink the entire Hamas navy (just a couple of rustbucket boats, no achievement there). Hamas reacted to the bombings by lobbing off some of their rockets and mortars, forgetting that they were the cause of this shit in the first place. They killed three innocent civilians and a soldier, and hoped that Israel would now be scared out of invading Gaza. Iran tried to join in on the fun and get more weapons into Gaza, so they organized a convoy to head from Sudan to Gaza filled with all kinds of fun toys for Hamas, but surprise surprise! Israel knew all about it, and sent a bunch of planes to bomb the shit out of it, blowing up all the weapons and killing everyone in it, including some Iranian Revolutionary Guards, causing major bawwwing in Sudan. Awesome.

Palestinian man shows off a traditional Arab dish, Baby deep fried in White Phosphorus

gets

Gaza gets raeped

Concerned that they were not killing the Muslims fast enough, the Jew decided that they should send the ground forces in, after a massive artillery shelling. They easily advanced deep into Gaza, leaving behind piles of Hamas corpses. However, the IDF lost four soldiers to friendly fire, in a way very similar to what US troops liberating Kuwait and Iraq oil experienced. The IDF advanced deep into Gaza City, and Hamas was helpless to stop them. In fact, many Hamas faggots from their super-special Qassam Brigades ran the fuck away as IDF tanks rumbled in.

International reactions

This caused all the Liberals in Europe to BAWW about the humanitarian crisis in Gaza brought on by the war. All the while the Americunts enter a state of pure bliss as more and more Palestinians get permabanned. Upon hearing of the outbreak of war, the entire American nation immediately grabbed their 2 liter bottles of Soda, an extra large bag of Cheetos and sat down in front of the TV to watch the Jews kill Arabs. Heeding the will of its people, the US Government provided cover for Israel at the UN in the hopes that the Jews will be able to push the body count even higher.

The Arab world reacted with its usual calm approach to things. France immediately demanded that both sides surrender, and when it became clear they would not, offered to do it themselves. France formalized its surrender to Israel both Israel and Hamas just to be on the safe side, and the French president visited Jerusalem and Gaza City to negotiate the final terms. The UN immediately failed to pass a resolution demanding immediate talks aimed at passing a resolution to discuss the crisis. This last, of course, accompanied by a non-stop barrage of liberal Hamas fantards on CNN and MSNBC begging the Jews to crawl back into the ovens.

Except FOX News. They provided poignant news analysis explaining how the IDF was showing care and restraint.

Jews do a terrorist truck.

El Fin

Hamas militant seen celebrating Hamas' declaration of victory

Israel has declared a unilateral cease-fire in the fighting in Gaza beginning at 2 a.m. Sunday (7 p.m. ET Saturday), Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said.

	“	"We can say that the conditions have been brought about that enable us to say that the aims that we laid down for the operation have been completely achieved."	„
	—Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert ,speaking from the Hamas Leader's bed.

	“	"If foes decide to continue to fight against us, then we will be ready and we shall consider ourselves justified in replying."	„
	—Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, speaking from the right side of afore-mentioned bed.

	“	"In the name of Allah, the merciful and most high, we successfully flattened the tire of a Zionist humvee, praise Allah. The Zionists should be warned that they have one week to flee Gaza or else, god willing, we shall flatten the other three tires on the humvee and attempt to blow it up with our horribly inaccurate RPG's".	„
	—Supreme Leader Of Hamas.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

For its part, Israel said any effort to disrupt the ceasefire from now until doomsday on the part of Hamas will mean a resumption of the war. For now though, there is peace. But will it hold?

Israel said that it won because of the massive assrape it gave to Gaza, because it advanced deep into Gaza and Hamas couldn't do shit about it, and because only 13 Jews died, 4 of them accidentally killed by other Jews. Hamas said it won because it still could shoot off some rustbucket rockets at Israel by the end of the war, because not everyone of them was killed and not everything was destroyed, and because people who already hated Jews now hated Jews more. That's a funny kind of victory, don't you think?

TL;DR

Jew defending Jerusalem from destruction by sandnigger hordes

A long time ago Jesus conquered Israel using his army of idiots. Skip 5 years and God kills most of the Jews in what was later dubbed the lolocaust. Following this near triumph, the "West" decided to implement a better solution and dump all the Jews in a country surrounded by other people nobody cares about who hate their guts more than us. This plan backfired when some of the dirty rats infiltrated America and started selling the Jews 1337 h4x that made the Arab hate you. Now that created many lulz such as 9/11 but also many anti-lulz such as the continued existence of those backstabbing cuntfucks.

So to summarize you just lost the game

Front Row Seats

Not content with just watching CNN and reading news articles about this little lovers quarrel? Want a little something MOAR? Well how about a front row seat to the action? Well that would be stupid, you would get hit by a rocket or some other Jew/Arab shit. Even better, now you can get all the violence of war right from you comfort and safety of your own home. Here are a bunch of links to various cameras streaming footage of the sandbox everyone seems so concerned with:

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/gaza-attack

http://switch3.castup.net/cunet/gm.asp?ai=264&ar=Live01 (border)

http://switch3.castup.net/cunet/gm.asp?ai=264&ar=Live04 (border)

Although by now all the fun is far from over.

Aftermath

Gaza has been decimated. The lives of many Islamic terrorists have been lost. But don't worry. There is still ample opportunity for double-standards and satire to be applied widely.

Leftist propaganda poster.

Maybe when Jihadi's start wearing military uniforms, their victims can called 'casualties of war' also.

Awww, shucks, Gaza, you're welcome.

In an odd twist of fate some towelheads will be thanking Israel for this one. Not publicly, of course:

The Palestinain kids

HAMAS teaches the Palestinian children about peace only.

Israeli soldiers are so cruel! They dance the Palestinians to death:

PROFIT!!1!

Relax. Those 1300 Gazans didn't die in vain. Their deaths paved the way to an entire 11minutes of online Flash! game entertainment for you to enjoy.

Now you too can partake in the lulz of perpetuating warcrimes! Click here and do it for the lulz.

Gallery

Visual Records About missing Pics

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  Where is your God now?
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  keep crying, nobody cares

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  THE HIVE CLUSTER IS UNDER ATTACK
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  Tastes like chicken
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  It IS chicken!
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  Richard Al'Gaza, Hamas mastermind
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  I needs a new one, this one broke!
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  What the Jews think they are fighting
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  How Retarded Brazilians see things. Notice the Asian butler? That's the Secretary General of the United Nations
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  The above brings back such sweet memories
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  Don't try this at home, kids!
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  Notice the enthusiasm Fail, that's from the Lebanese War.
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  Jellyous much.
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  Wedding of hamas palestinian men with fake-brides, unfortunately not pedophilia.

See Also

• Gaza Flotilla
• Israeli-Palestinian Conflict
• Collateral damage
• South Ossetia Another lulzy conflict
• Live web stream
• Richard Al'Gaza, leader of Hamas in the Gaza Strip.