Fighteer

Moar info: TV Tropes.

A loving father and his adopted Guatemalan son.

Fighteer (John M. Aldrich) is a senior TV Tropes moderator, a very prestigious position, just like being the head dishwasher at Denny's. He's the typical cookie-cutter TV Tropes personality, meaning that autism, whining, veritable fountains of butthurt.txt and pushing his weight around apply. Fighteer has the distinguished honor of maintaining the perception that TV Tropes moderators are nothing more than a bunch assholes.

To quote Something Awful's fourth TV Tropes mock thread on the man:

	“	Fighteer: Fast Eddie's war dog......Fighteer sees every user as a potential enemy. Is convinced the widespread criticism of their site is a single, unified conspiracy and will accuse all users who raise issues with the site's management of being goons.	„

The part in bold is important, it will be covered later in this article. Even if Mr. Aldrich weren't so unbelievably paranoid, he's still an asshole who leads by example, constantly breaking the rules that he's supposed to enforce. So grab yourself a seat and buckle your seat belt as we explore the cliffhanger known as dramatic life of Fighteer.

The origins of his moderation career

Fighteer was promoted to moderator on the wiki August 2010. Since then, he's established himself as the face of TV Tropes moderation, especially since he acts as Fast Eddie's personal meat shield. Those who criticize Fast Eddie will soon encounter Fighteer's spitting and snarling, sparing Der Fuhrer from butthurt caused by the heathens.

When there is a dispute, he acts like an internet tough guy and reminds the peons that he would never allow his 7-year-old son to be as immature as them. One could speculate that his son will later find a way of coping with his lost childhood.

Fighteer: Fast Eddie's sockpuppet?

Many people on the tubes have been impressed by Fighteer's intellectual side, making them wonder if he could possibly be a Fast Eddie sockpuppet. At first glance, this is understandable, since both often forget about their rule to be nice. Fighteer also doesn't hesitate announce new or updated policies, something that most expect Fast Eddie himself would do.

The truth, however, is rather mundane and sad. Fighteer is a rebid dog that Fast Eddie sics on uppity tropers, sparing him of the inevitable negativity and trauma caused by dealing with conflict. So TV Tropes' fearless leader summons his most reliable sycophant (since all mods are reliant on Eddie's good graces to keep their positions) to deal with the upstarts and deliver policy notices that would result in more backlash than Fast Eddie is comfortable dealing with.

Fast Eddie has attempted to dispel rumors that Fighteer is his sockpuppet, and much to everyone's amusement, has revealed that he is nothing more than trailer trash with a geriatric neckbeard that lives in Wisconsin. By the ladies, he's single! Fighteer on the other hand lives with his future ex-wife, and being unable to perform in bed, has an adopted son. This happy family lives in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

Fast Eddie is known to work for a game company (most likely Rage software) as a Team AI lead. Fighteer works for the scientific division of Olympus America Inc., a position whose duties he is rather vague on and is more likely him trying to make a low rent pencil pushing IT job sound unbelievably important, though he claims to be a computer programmer and a sales analyst (another position whose duties he is vague on).

Some self troping

Autism.jpg

Like most tropers, his troper page has some self aggrandizing bullshit on it that is particularly lulzy: (original in bold, comments in italics)

I am 37, male, a computer programmer, a sci-fi/fantasy geek, and live in Pennsylvania, USA. There's not much else to say, unless you care about my guild's World of Warcraft exploits. Or my 7-year old son. (He's very cute.)

Incidentally, my online handle, "Fighteer", comes from a character I created in elementary school when I was entranced by Voltron. It's a giant yellow robot that later became a Transforming Mecha when Transformers came out and tended to act as a God-Mode Sue.

So he sperged over a shitty cartoon as a kid and named himself after his childhood wank fantasy. Big fucking surprise.

I hang out the most on the forums, so please take it there if you want to chat, or send me a PM.

As of August, 2010, I am a wiki moderator.

Tropes that describe me:

• Badass Bookworm: I studied Tae Kwon Do for many years in order to be this. Now that I've got a kid, I've let it slide.

Internet Tough Guy.txt

• Big Ol' Unibrow: I shave it frequently but it keeps growing back.

• Character Alignment: Lawful Good.

You're not supposed to use alignment terms to describe characters, and even though there is no rule against it on troper pages, it's rather ironic that this man was the guy who established Character Alignment to describe people was a bad idea does it to himself. Also, if he wanted to be honest, his alignment would be Lawful Asshole

• Geek: Promoted from Nerd, which is what I was in school.

Not much of an improvement

• The Glasses Gotta Go: Said by my then-girlfriend, now wife. I used to be Blind Without 'Em until I got LASIK.

• Good with Numbers

• Happily Married

• I Know Karate: Second degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do.

More Internet Tough Guy.txt

• Nerd Glasses: Used to have 'em before getting laser eye surgery.

• Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: I was nicknamed Mr. Spock as a kid for my habit of being pedantically precise in my speaking habits.

At least he admits his autism

• The Smart Guy

In Troper speak, this is very much an Informed Ability

• Took a Level in Badass: I studied Tae Kwon Do to compensate for getting bullied in school. Ironically, since I started training, I've never gotten in a fight.

Even More Internet Tough Guy.txt

Fighteer: Guardian of Freedom

Fighteer is a moderator of TV Tropes -- a job of great importance to the world. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, so Fighteer carries it around for his buttbuddy Fast Eddie.

In this blog post, Fighteer gives us some insight to his USI

Choice sections will be quoted below:

	“	I am a moderator on TV Tropes, meaning it is my job (I don't get paid for this) to help keep things orderly on the wiki and forums. Although I have no administrative control, I do get to witness a lot of what goes on under the hood of a site of this size and complexity, and one of those dubious privileges is dealing with the kinds of folks who don't play nicely with rules.	„
	—Translation: My "job" is defend this site from the hordes of trolls, and mete out justice upon those who don't play nicely with aspies.

	“	TV Tropes has been subject to numerous forms of malicious activity, including ... attempts to exploit security flaws, and even denial of service attacks, over the site's administrative and content policies.	„
	—The DoS in question: A siterip of the content in June 2012. The guy who uploaded a torrent of the data copied even admitted in the torrent readme what he did, and describes his massive attack as the blazing fast speed of 3 seconds per request. That's right, their site is so shitty that it chokes on the weight of multiple views a minute! That's probably because of their exploitable security flaws, coded by Fast Eddie.

Unsurprisingly, they have yet to file a lolsuit to get back the internets they lost in this awesome attack.

	“	The staff don't want TV Tropes to be thought of as the kind of place where people go to gush over porn. As the site is specifically about fandom (although its opposite is acknowledged, that doesn't mean it is encouraged), it's inevitable that talking about porn will get it talked about, and not in a favorable way. It can even get the site in trouble with its advertisers. TV Tropes doesn't attract nearly enough donations to function ad-free, it doesn't enjoy the support of a large foundation or sponsors with deep pockets, and Google threatened to pull or actually pulled its ads on at least two occasions over content complaints (despite the suspicion that they may have been malicious). But more than anything, the staff just don't want it.	„
	—And by the staff, he means Fast Eddie, whose staff he is always sucking. And unless you suck the staff, you don't get to be on the the staff. And Fighteer always wants to be on the staff. Eddie himself originally thought that all of the pedos on TV Tropes were awesome, but he finally realized the monster he created by not caring until it threatened his Jewgle Ads golds.

	“	What's worse is that it discredits the very notion of internet vigilantism as a force for useful change. I can at least sympathize with hacktivism when it's targeted at a company that has draconian copyright enforcement policies or at a government that supports the suppression of human rights. It's still wrong, but I can see why they might feel it serves a greater good. But attacking a site like TV Tropes that exists solely for the enjoyment of its users, makes no profit, and seeks only to be a useful resource for writers and fans of media in general just makes the perpetrators look petty and makes their cries for freedom of speech sound hollow.	„
	—Bear in mind this website exists simply because Fast Eddie has stated he allows it to, makes enough make money in the form of advertisement sponsorship to pay Fast Eddie's trailer park rent, and has gotten to the point most notable writers don't give a rat fuck about it anymore.

Speaking of petty, Fighteer and other moderators literally fuck over entire IP ranges to deny anyone the right to even view TV Tropes if they have slighted the moderation staff.

Fighteer Guardian of Freedom Part 2: Call The Waaaambulance

In this blog post, written around November 2013, Fighteer decides to drop the dog whistles from last time and delivers more whiny drama.

	“	We still get vandals, though, and they seem to come in two flavors. One is the clueless wannabe editor who just can't get it through his skull why we don't want him around. One fellow, presumably from India by his account info, has evaded bans no less than a half-dozen times, pleading in mangled English to be allowed to edit the wiki despite our insistence that he learn to write comprehensibly. Another has risen to a kind of stardom even outside TV Tropes, and despite my distaste for linking to trolling sites, he could not have had a more fitting fate than to end up featured on one. (Warning: that link has a lot of HIGHLY NSFW content behind it. Follow at your own risk.) He has managed to achieve a kind of record in terms of sheer number of handles created - they must number in the 400-500 range by now. Clinical insanity.	„
	— What's the bigger insanity: trolling TV Tropes or moderating TV Tropes? Nate Spidgewood was the particularly stupid wiki troll that has threatened Fighteer with death and severe bodily harm more than once, because Fighteer is an asshole.

	“	The second flavor is the kind that has an agenda and insists on telling us all that we’re a bunch of retards for not following it. Such was apparently behind the DDoS attacks a while back and they’ve returned of late to attempt to lure loyal (but sorely oppressed, apparently) tropers away to a copycat site that promises “freedom from our censorship”. Oh, and “good wiki software”, which amuses me to no end; these folks miss the fundamental point that it’s the content of a site that matters, not its delivery plaform. (Yes, our derivative of PMWiki is a kludge, but it works for us.) They’ve tried to spam links to their wiki all over ours, apparently in the belief that we are some form of free advertising for them. They’ve sent messages to various tropers and staff members, apparently in the belief that we care, or that telling us how much we suck is going to get us to change our ways. I even got a comment on this blog, which is amusing because I moderate it, so the only person who saw it was me. I really have to wonder what they’re trying to persuade me of. I’m not going to stop banning them and erasing their spam. I’m not going to accede to their Internet Tough Guy act. I’m not going to suddenly realize the error of my ways and decide to strike a blow for FWEEDOM!!!	„
	—This post is Fighteer being a paranoid idiot and trying to connect two separate events to an overarching conspiracy like he did with Something Awful, then basically giving at least one entity grounds for a libel lawsuit for publicly blaming them for criminal actions with zero proof. In fact, the administrators of All The Tropes (the site Fighteer was pointing fingers at) not only denied the allegations, but promised they would consider any further attempts to accuse them of criminal acts without proof would result in legal action, so this paranoid fuck is goddamned lucky his bullshit didn't get Fast Eddie sued.

	“	There’s also apparently someone (probably the same person) trying to spread some kind of weird meme about our site’s current admin, a meme to which they can’t even get basic facts right, like names. I have to wonder what genius thought this up. It’s not like he has some kind of online reputation to worry about being tarnished by amateur trolling, nor does anyone intelligent care what kind of crap shows up on ED. Admittedly, the site can be fun if you are of a certain mindset, but to use it as a primary source? You have got to be kidding.	„
	—Like his boss/gay cybersex partner Eddie, Fighteer hates ED and thinks that anyone who believes it is an idiot, but then again his boss censored ED's mention because it said mean (and true) things about him, and it was the Goons who discovered Fast Eddie's real name, and since they hate tropers, it's incredibly unlikely they'd have anything to do with another troping wiki in trying to expose Fast Eddie's real name. Then again, Fighteer is a paranoid idiot, so it probably made sense to him.

	“	And all this because we won't let them use our site as a platform to masturbate over lolicon fetish works and cheap porn. I mean, okay, maybe I could see getting mad if we got rid of all the anime, but seriously, folks. When their right hands aren't too busy, maybe they could consider the utter waste they're making of their lives. And yes, I fully recognize the irony of writing a blog post about this.	„
	—And this post is just loaded with irony, since he masturbates just as furiously over banning people as he claims all dissenters of TV Tropes do over porn. As the cherry on top, the most publicly notable thing he's done with his life is becoming a hated wiki moderator, so he doesn't exactly have a lot of justification to hurl insults at others.

Gallery Of Fighteer being a dick as a TVT Mod

On TV Tropes, if you're a regular troper, the rules against being an asshole are draconian. Break them, and they will ban you. If you're a moderator, as one of their trope names puts it "Screw The Rules, I Make Them".

Below is a gallery of Fighteer taking advantage of this to be an epic Kimmo Alm style dickhead with an excessive paranoid streak.

Also note that all of Fighteer's posts are highlighted in pink by Fast Eddie, just like Hitler highlighted the gays.

Fighteer: Paranoid USI riddled asshat gallery About missing Pics

• 
  Even though memes are "Web Original" works and show up in modern fiction on occasion, Fighteer would ban all mention of them from TV Tropes if he could.
• 
  After a brony posts a really long text wall, Fighteer tells them Tl;dr before banning banning them. This is the same man who hates memes.
• 
  Fighteer flat out admits what ED has been saying all along: TV Tropes is a dictatorship. Minus the benevolence.
• 
  Like the control freak he is, Fighteer admits here he will ban your ass for doing shit he doesn't like and derives pleasure from doing so.
• 
  Fighteer shitting on Pro Wrestling fans, Part 1.
• 
  Fighteer shitting on Pro Wrestling fans, Part 2.
• 
  A banned troper tells Fighteer to fuck himself. He responds by calling them a diseased whore.
• 
  Much like Fast Eddie, Fighteer would screw over entire countries to get rid of one sockkpuppteer.
• 
  Fighteer will shit on you for bad grammar, and will condescendingly compare you to his seven year old if you don't like being shit on.
• 
  If your English skills suck, you suck, according to Fighteer.
• 
  Do you uses proxies because you live in a restrictive country? Do you use disposable email because you hate spam? Fuck you, says Fighteer, you're just a filthy troublemaker worthy of banning.
• 
  Fighteer is aware of places that hate TV Tropes, and tells dissenters to fuck off and join them. Good advice.
• 
  People posting Dethroning Moment Of Suck page material makes Fighter buttmad, Part 1.
• 
  People posting Dethroning Moment Of Suck page material makes Fighter buttmad, Part 2, with him threatening a peon to shut up about liking something he hates on pain of banning.
• 
  People posting Dethroning Moment Of Suck page material makes Fighter buttmad, Part 3, with him not liking negativity on TV Tropes while being negative himself.
• 
  People posting Dethroning Moment Of Suck page material makes Fighter buttmad, Part 4, where he concedes that he can't stop anyone from using the material he hates on other wikis under Creative Commons.
• 
  How dare you say we should talk about a web series that insults TV Tropes!
• 
  My lover Eddie said we aren't talking about that shit! Do I have to start silencing your foolish dissent?
• 
  Fighteer being a dickhead to everyone.txt
• 
  We will not allow any opinions on locked pages except mod approved propaganda, and we aren't helping the rebels against our regime with content we plan to destroy.
• 
  Fighteer says people shouldn't pull assumptions out of their ass. Hypocritical, given his tendency towards conspiracy theorizing.
• 
  Fighteer sees vandals and trolls around every corner, and thinks everyone is a fool for not mirroring his paranoia.
• 
  Our suspension policy is none of your fucking business, so shut up and do what I say!

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

{{{5}}}

See Also

• Kimmo Alm - More spam and pedo, as well as being an asshole and a grammar nazi
• USI
• Banhammer - Fighteer's favorite dildo.
• Ban fucking everyone - What gives this man pleasure
• TV Tropes - the shit infested hovel this man mods on.
• Asshole - What this page is a describing in one word.
• Something Awful - The source of all evil in this man's mind.

External Links

• A thread on a TV Tropes spinoff bitching about this asshole
• Some tartlets bitching about this asshole
• His Troper Page
• Yahoo! Profile
• His crappy Wordpress blog
• His Failbook
•  His Twitter
• His Jewtube

Fighteer is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.