EZWolf: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 17:23, 25 August 2024

"The" EZWolf is an aspiring director of furry film from the Netherlands, but is better known for his hand in several furry dramabombs.

Furrywood

Allegedly a commercial photographer, EZWolf joined the dredges of furfaggotry some time in the 90's and began focusing all of his attention on furry related projects in order to help propagate furry throughout the land and improve his fandom. Being a professional photographer and film producer, it was his hope that he could mix furry creativity with slick editing, ushering in a new wave of furry appreciation and popularity. He started as most furries do, posting videos of him prancing around public in fursuits like an idiot. This got him a built-in and sturdy fanbase, and gave him enough confidence to proceed with an even grander project: furry films! No longer would furries be left with only "mainstream" films to fap over, the furries themselves were a growing and untapped demographic. With that, he and fellow furfag entrepreneurial Shay put on stage performances at European furry conventions.

Bitter Lake

After a successful run with Jordan Blake, EZWolf would again collaborate with Shay on "Bitter Lake", the first ever (45 minute...) furry feature film! Focusing on a furry civil-war or some shit, Bitter Lake was championed around the furry community for it's realistic fursuits, serious subject matter and supurb editing, Bitter Lake was to be screened at Europes biggest furry conventions before being packaged and shipped worldwide! It a truly momentous occasion in the fandom if ever there was one!

Bitter Reception

"Thanks for the publicity, cocksuckers XD"

After trailers circulated among the internet, Bitter Lake found a sizable, enthusiastic fanbase eager to see the film in it's entirety. And several hundred more who saw some tools LARP crew taking itself super fucking seriously and found it hilarious that people thought they were going to have wide-spread success selling said video to people. This disapproval came to a head on an un-monitored mirror of the trailer hosted by Furry News Network, who had previously spent months gleefully hyping the film to its users. Enraged, EZ did what most reasonable, rational adults do when a disagreement arises and went publicly to Fur Affinity and whined, offering FNN a choice; disabled comments on their mirror, or get the video DMCA'd altogether.

	“	A few days after we published the trailer of Bitter lake on YouTube, you put a copy of it on your own FNN account... We understand that this trailer creates a tremendous amount of views to your account, which we can live with, if however you take your responsibility and MONITOR what is actually happening on your account. In case you haven't noticed; there is currently a lot of flaming, trolling, bitching and throwing around death threats going on there.	„
	—EZ is quite upset.

	“	If you decide to use -or piggyback on- other people's artwork or intellectual property and publish it on YouTube, then at least have the decency to monitor the comments made there and delete what is not a valid and on-topic reaction or constructive criticism.	„
	—Because our 45 minute furry movies will be just as successful without you!

	“	1. Remove this video from your account 2. Start monitoring the comments. Remove anything that is not a valid and on-topic reaction or constructive criticism and keep monitoring it as long as the video is available. 3. Remove anything that is not a valid and on-topic reaction or constructive criticism and disable the 'Reply' option.	„
	—EZ handling dissent like a grown up

	“	We do however have a problem with people (no matter who) who are spreading hate and throw around death threats to the people who worked on this project. Those being people we love and care for. Oh, and we have a problem with news networks not responding to serious issues, but that aside.	„
	—You bitches

	“	All we ask is that you to respond to this letter and act fast on what we have made you aware of yet again. If one of the requested acts is not executed before the 9th of September however, we will inform YouTube that FNN uploaded allegedly infringing content.	„
	—the DMCA; blank check for every butthurt furfag

Previous Quote | Next Quote

EZ posted the journal and waited for the flood of peen-rubs from his adoring fanbase, when a problem occurred. You see, EZ's main grievance was not that he was being criticized, but that he and crew were recieving death threats on the mirrored video! But a problem occurred; rather than the up swell of kudos and support, furfag after furfag commented on EZ's journal to inform that that, no, in fact there were no such threats, harassment, or slander being posted on his precious trailer. It appeared, to the furry populous, that EZ was outright lying about the extent of the derision he was receiving in order to get some good, firm hugbox action going on to aide him in his quest against the first amendment.

In in perfect synchrony, EZ did exactly what he wished he could do on youTube; closed the journal, deleteing any trace of being called out on his bullshit. FNN's Bitter Lake trailer was quickly DMCA'd.

And When That Doesn't Pan Out, Resort to Porn

In September of 2011, months removed and that embarrassing call-out all but re-written from history, EZ continued his work and prepared to release his masterpiece on the masses. Then, "somehow", a very special pet project of EZ's just happened to make it's rounds across YouTube. That special project was Room 366.

	“	fap fap fap fap fap	„
	—The furry fandom. In unison.

The fandom exploded a rush of praise, admiration, and jealousy swamped the video and it's creator. Furries far and wide rushed to EZ to let him know just how beautiful and wonderfully crafted cinematography, and praised him for taking such an adult, professional approach to giant costume sex. But as the fandom stroked it's collective peen, some of those were whacking off with the lube of their own tears.

For as pant-ruining amazing furfags found Room 366, many of them were shocked and outraged due to it being public. "Why, the media will have a field day with this!", they explained to each other as they tried to elaborate on how the mainstream was about to totally lie about the nature of the furry fandom. By showing a video full of furries, made by furries, and widely enjoyed by furries. "Why EZ, you asshole, this is CSI all over again!", they shrieked in agony. "Wait til Tyra gets ahold of this!" the screamed in between spurts of muffled orgasms. But then EZ and friends responded in a way that shocked many furries.

Fuck 'Em If They Didn't Fap

"Well golly, we didn't mean for it to be inappropriate of nothin'...

EZ, in a surprisingly clever move, pulled a reverse-Chewfox and not only defended the video, but proceeded to elaborate that it was the non-perverts that were killing the credibility of the fandom! Rather than cry about his work being misinterpreted by the masses ala that crazy bitch from My Strange Addiction, furiends from across the web flocked to support the video and use the opportunity to do a counter Old Uncle Chippy and explain that maybe it was time to stop acting like furry was anything less than a fetish.

The debated rages on as to whether or not the video was harmless furry fun, or a deathblow to the family friendly image the fandom has strived to accumulate over the years, however it can safely be assumed that EZWolf saw a cheap way to get more attention to hock some DVD's and took full advantage of it, Successfully scoring more cash than 300 Zeriara put combined.

"I mean, c'mon dudes... who the fuck were we kidding..."
GUYS! We were doing so well, too...
Publicity stunt? What publicity stunt? You're crazy, Bitter Lake would have totally been a hit regardless.
Of course every now and then, some of those furry idiots will surprise you.
The village idiot hands out condescension.
YouTube is allowing fursecution by allowing this to be made fun of!
Clearly, this furry is not a furry at all and is actually a troll.
Fuck off, you couldn't begin to understand the complexity and sophistication of fursuit dry humping. You fucking pleb.
" Its a hot video no matter who you are. "
"Furrys aren't the problem in this, it's society."

As expected, furries and furries alone raged at the video, however all of them blame SEXUALLY REPRESSED TROLLS! and TROLLS alone for the video becoming notorious, further proven that even when the furries are causing the problem because of their die-hard affiliation to the league of manimals, there's always, always, somebody besides the furries to blame for when shit hits the fan.