Michelle Lyn Taylor

If she'd killed him, she would have got a lighter sentence

There are evil people in this world. You know it, we know it, everyone knows it. Entire communities wiped out by genocide (IGNORE THAT LINK, IT IS ZIONIST PROPAGANDA). LRN2 STRIKE, FAGGOT. Child soldiers ripped from their families by guerrilas and forced to kill other children. Women tied, beaten and maimed for having committed the crime of being raped, and other atrocities committed every day around the world.

These acts are all committed by truly evil people, your honour. However, once in a while something so startlingly depraved comes along that even ED struggles to find the words. Something that could truly could make the baby Jesus cry. Uncontrollably.

Persons with weak stomachs should leave the room now.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Some fatty made a 13 year old boy touch her tit.

S'all good though, the bitch got life.

Yes, seriously.

The Event

One bright Nevada evening, Michelle Lyn "An unattractive and not very bright person" Taylor decided to cure her restlessness by taking what could not be bought... the innocence of a thirteen year old boy.

She sexually assaulted him in an apartment while blind drunk. She called it rough housing... we call it more evil than rape.

She called it a stupid mistake... we call it one of the worst crimes of the 21st century (so far).

She called it harmless, we say that poor boy is probably out perpetuating the cycle of abuse right this second.

“	The boy sat down, cowering as Taylor loomed over him. He was nervous, and she was feeding on his despair, staring into his eyes as she grabbed his hand. He tried to pull it away, but she was too big. Her mammoth paws, with their unkempt nails and rough callouses pulled the scared and helpless little boy’s trembling hand towards her swollen and sagging breasts. “Just touch”, she growled menacingly. He shrank away, but she was too strong. His hand collided with the lump of flesh and he felt the vomit enter his mouth from his throat. His face was burning with shame and his hand felt like it was lost in a flour filled sock. He was being violated and he knew it. Her putrid breath was warm and moist against his face, he would never forget this moment. His childhood was officially over.	„
—A play by play, non dramatised account of events, Confirmed by the objective media.

The Trial

This is how the shit went down, tailor made by ED, for your viewing pleasure.

	“	Michelle Lyn Taylor is a unattractive woman, probably not very bright who did a very stupid and possibly evil thing	„
	—Lol whilst talking in her defense

	“	June, no it is not okay for a man to stroke a 13 year old girl’s breasts.	„
	—I beg to differ

	“	These kids today have their ‘Phd’ in sex that makes adults look as if they are still in basic sex class.	„
	—What school are your kids attending lady?

	“	Our neighbours’ 13 year old son is a strikingly handsome boy, he is also autistic	„
	—Sounds like he wants to play with some titties.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

Sentenced to Life in Prison

As the great state of Nevada knows, life in prison is naturally the only sensible sentence when it comes to the rape, or light petting, of a child. Despite serial molesters usually serving less than a year thanks to the magic of plea bargains, Taylor managed to draw the full punishment. How, you ask?

The mandatory life sentence was imposed due to Taylor refusing any plea bargain that involved being put on the sex offenders register, despite having committed a sex offense and being told that there was never going to be a world where she was not either in prison or on the sex offenders register. Her lawyers pleaded with her to take the deal. The judge pleaded with her to take the deal. But Michelle Lyn "not very bright" Taylor couldn't live with being branded a sex offender for the rest of her life or having people know she was so desperate she tried to tag a 13 year old boy.

Well congratulations to her, she kept her name off that list, and only at the expense of her complete freedom for the rest of her life.

As if life in prison wasn't enough, she was ordered to pay $175 in court fees. Equal to the cost of a 2 week-long fuck fest with a Taiwanese boi toy. Avoiding Bubba was as simple as cruising the corner of the local liquor mart. Running from radioactive monsters is the gook's specialty.

The 13 year old boy in question is still in therapy over 2 years after the incident took place and has most certainly been turned homosexual by the ordeal, but at least it will save him the bother of actually having to come out to his parents and friends.

The Lol Irony

It should be noted that had "she" just sat on the boy and killed him, she would probably have received a shorter sentence. This is, of course, entirely fair, as if she had killed him then he would not have to face a lifetime of despair at the thought of where his hand has been, and his hand would not be experiencing trauma.

Not very long at all before this completely reasonable and some might even say light handed punishment was dished out there was another case in the same area, in which a man was accused of a similar crime. The only difference was, that instead of getting drunk and handsy, he systematically raped and molested two younger boys over the course of a year. He got ten months in county jail, after accepting a plea bargain. He missed out on his dignity though, right Michelle? I am sure that is what he is thinking. Whilst he sits in his house. Probably drinking beer. Also fucking little boys.

LOL internets

Why has this case touched the internet's black little heart? Well, it combines all the ingredients sure to appeal to basement dwellers: child abuse, a batshit insane outcome, the hambeast molester involved, and the doddering, geriatric Phoenix Wright-like judge.

Probably the most delicious factor, though, is the fact that Michelle Lyn "Two-Ton Titty Monster" Taylor rejected every life raft the legal system tried to float her. It just makes the schadenfreude feel okay.

Videos of Actual Stuff

Warning: The following depicts actual serious business and should not be watched simply for the lulz. It is for super serious people who take a genuine interest in the legal aspects of the case and want to see if the bitch is as ugly as she looks in that pic.

Previous Video | Next Video

See Also

• Las Vegas - Fat chicks need not apply

External links

• Anorak
• Magic Valley
• Teabaggers
• Possible facebook

Featured article April 29, 2010
Preceded by Facebook Login	Michelle Lyn Taylor	Succeeded by Kate's Party