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{{needsmore|Lulz. Lots of them}}
{{spoilers|MICHELLE DIES}}
[[Image:Olsen Deepthroat.gif|thumb| [[Loli|Michelle Tanner]] ]]
[[Image:PedobearLoveStephanieTanner.JPG|thumb|Joey love sweet little [[Loli|Stephanie Tanner]] ]]
'''''[[Milhouse|Full House]]''''' (aka ''[[Fail]] [[House]]'') is a painfully unfunny sitcom that's known to be one of the most G-rated banal kitsch shows of all time; favorite TV show by [[fap|pedophiles]], closet homosexuals, 8 year old girls and [[you]]. The show takes place in San Francisco, with three unmarried men, who [[always|occasionally]] enjoy the [[circle jerk]], living in a house with three little girls. The show launched the "acting" career of Bob Faget and the Olsen Twins. It also managed to turn many [[Fat|people]] into home bitches.
==Characters==
Danny Tanner - [[Pedophilia|Pedophile]] A father of three little girls and depressed widower who masturbates to peewee football. (character based on [[IRL]] Bob Saget).
Joey - Danny's previous gay partner and a shit comedian who's jokes give cancer survivors AIDS. Also a [[Pedobear|pedophile]] that lures in small children with his Puppets. He is also a master of ventriloquism.
Jesse - A self proclaimed ladies man and a pretentious Elvis wannabe son of a bitch who wants to be a "rock and roll" star although he has no actual talent and is a failure as a parent. He desperately needs a hair cut on several cases of it being mistaken for a bush monster. For moar information see: [[Guido]].


{{needsmore|Lulz. Lots of them}}
Rebecca - Jesse's wife, coming from a white town in Nebraska. Teaches her housemates square dancing, therefore making her the object of white trash in the house. She is a hardcore supporter of the [[KKK]] and believes that white revolution is the only solution.
 
D.J. Tanner - Teenage [[Mary_Sue|Mary Sue]], a over- emotional fat cow who is constantly getting in trouble for offering [[head|blowjobs]] to desperate nerds.


[[Image:Costar fuck.jpg|thumb|As soon as costars meet each other, they need to [[rape|seal the deal]].]]
Stephanie Tanner - Middle daughter played by Jodie Sweetin, before she discovered the wonders of [[Drug|meth]], she now stars on the popular Nickelodeon show [[iCarly|iCarly]] as the goofy sidekick.
[[Image:MichellePedo.jpg|thumb|200px|Typical scene from ''Full House''.]]
[[Image:StephaniePedo.jpg|thumb|200px|Stephanie Tanner like to give you a Blowjob Anytime!''.]]
[[Image:JoeyGladstonePedo.jpg|thumb|Nothing as Creeper as this Scene.]]
[[Image:Olsentwinshot.jpg|thumb|250px|Hottest thing ever or [[shoop]]?]]
[[Image:BabyRape.jpg|thumb|250px|Jesse is unsuccessful at controlling his pedo urges.]]
[[Image:LittleStephanieTannerPedo.jpg|thumb|210px|Stephanie Tanner Want Joey [[Cock|Cock]] in her throat!]]
[[Image:Michelle.gif|thumb|Michelle had [[loose vagina syndrome|many]] vanity fucks with her fans, writers, costars, and producers.]]
[[Image:The hell.gif|thumb|right|In this episode, they video taped Michelle fucking a Popsicle with her throat.]]
[[Image:PedobearLoveStephanieTanner.JPG|thumb|Pedo Joey Love Stephanie Tanner and want her to sleep with him in his bedroom and want Steph to give him a [[head|Blowjob]].]]


'''''[[Milhouse|Full House]]''''' (aka ''[[Fail]] [[House]]'')
Michelle Tanner - Youngest of the daughters; known for getting [[Pedobear|raped]] nearly every other episode. Portrayed by the Olsen twins.


'''"I Don't Watch TV"''' (or sometimes '''"I Don't Have A TV"''') is a [[lie|phrase]] commonly used by [[hippy|arty]], [[elitist]] [[lesbians|rug munchers]], [[gay|cocksuckers]] and [[fags]] of [[poor|all varieties]] (usually in a snarky fashion) to distance themselves from [[everyone|the rest of us cavemen]] when discussions arises about hot-topic [[fag|fanboy]] shows.
Nicky and Alex - Jesse's Aspie children who are constantly abused and molested by their parents to the amusement of the audience.


Example:
Steve Hale - D.J.'s forced boyfriend and frequent cannabis user. He always want to get some but DJ is too busy eating to even notice.


Prima: '''"Did you see [[House]] last night?"'''
Kimmy Gibbler - Giant enemy crab and all out closet case. Unbeknownst to the Tanner family, she ends up becoming famed [[porn]] star and staring in the video [[2girls1cup|"2girls1cup"]]
Secunda: '''"Oh...I don't watch TV!"'''
Prima: '''"...[[GTFO]]"'''




This [[unwarranted self-importance|statement]] is used either when they're too [[poor]] for cable or when a faggot thinks they are more [[liberal|cultured]] than you and have to [[fap|read books]] and go [[IRL]] for entertainment. It makes them feel better about their shitty lives when they get asked about [[Win|popular]] shows like [[South Park]], [[CSI]], [[Lost]], and [[Pimp My Ride]] that everyone talks about around the water-cooler.


Sometimes, you'll [[nice try|catch]] one of these fags out when they slip up and say something like "Watching the ''Little Mermaid'' DVD" in answer to the question "What are you up to?"  To which the best response is: [[Unfunny|"So what...you just rented the DVD and stare at the box?"]]  Similarly, [[at least 100]] percent of non-TV-watchers are fans of ''[[Firefly]]'','' Arrested Development'', seasons 1 and 2 of ''Family Guy'', ''[[furries|Freaks]] and [[otherkin|Geeks]]''...are you noticing a pattern here?
== Oh Memories... ==
<center>What ever happend to predictability?<br/>
The milk man, the paper boy, evening T.V<br/>
You miss your old familar friends, but<br/>
waiting just around the bend.<br/>


This [[cunt|species]] also frequently claim that they don't own a [[computer|comp00ting machine]], hate the [[Internets]] and don't even have an [[email]] address.
Everywhere you look (everywhere)<br/>
There's a heart (there's a heart)<br/>
A hand to hold on to.<br/>
Everywhere you look (everywhere)<br/>
There's a face of somebody who needs you.<br/>


When you're lost out there and your all alone<br/>
A light is waiting to carry you home<br/>
Everywhere you look.<br/>
<youtube>wFww7t_EU5M</youtube></center>


[[Image:Dilbert2008611240327.gif|frame|none|What average people do when they don't watch TV, illustrated with [[dilbert|some badly drawn comic]]]]


== Aftermath ==
[[Image:full_house_kimmy.jpg|thumb|The last known picture of Kimmy.]]
As you can tell, not all of the stars of Full House turned out to be successful. Just look at Bob Saget. After the show ended, his career began it's path down the road to becoming the normal life of a washed-up 90's television star. He now does shitty stand-up comedy and has been roasted by [[Carrot Top|other faggots like him]]. He spends his days at his home [[fapping]] off to [[Spongebob]]. Kimmy's career also ended up in the [[toilet]]. She was last seen on the streets of [[Detroit]] with handfuls of used syringes.


==People Who Watch TV==
== Gallery ==
*People who are [[too cool for the Internet]]
*[[Niggers]]
*[[Double Nigger|Niggers]]
*[[Wapanese]]
*[[Azns]]
*[[Americans]]
*[[Cat]]s
*[[Me]]
*[[You]]
*[[b/|/b/]]


==People Who Don't Watch TV==
{{cg|Gallery of Faggotry|fullhouse|center|<gallery>
*[[Scientology|Scientologists]]
Image:full_house_tux.jpg|Did you know that they are actually the Chippendales dancers?
*[[Hippies]]
Image:fh_mt_bj.jpg|[[asking for it|Getting ready for Uncle Jesse.]]
*[[Hipsters]]
Image:Full-house.jpg
*[[Lesbians]]
Image:fullhouserape.jpg
*<s>[[Faggots]]</s> 80% of TV is now pure faggotry
</gallery>|<gallery>
*[[Liberals]]
Image:Stamos-olsen.jpg|[[Rape|The lovely couple.]]
*[[Eskimos]]
Image:Mary-KateOlsenSuckPenis.jpg
*Amish
Image:Hanson exploitable fixed.png|Why don't you take a seat over there?
*[[Star Trek|The Federation]]
Image:Full_house-show.jpg|What a happy family!
Image:FullHouseLogo.jpg
</gallery>}}


==What People Do When They Don't Watch TV==
===Somebody's grown up===
*[[fap|Read books]]
{{cg|Hands Full|Stephanie Tanner|center|<gallery>
*[[fap|Listen to music]]
File:Stephanie Tanner1.jpg
*[[Shit nobody cares about|Discover a cure for Cancer]]
File:Stephanie Tanner2.jpg
*[[Fap]]
File:Stephanie Tanner5.jpg
*Call friends up and disturb them while ''[[Full House]]'' is still on
</gallery>|<gallery>
*[[Virginia Tech massacre|Kick it VTECH style]]
File:Stephanie Tanner3.jpg
File:Stephanie Tanner4.jpg
File:Stephanie Tanner6.jpg
</gallery>}}


==Passable Excuses for Not Owning a TV==
{{cg|Twincest|Twincest|center|<gallery>
*Infinite supply of [[Pussy]]
File:Olsen Twins Legal Age2.jpg
*''[[Portal]]''
File:Olsen Twins Legal Age4.jpg
*The UK Television License Fee
File:Olsen Twins Legal Age7.jpg
*Everything Is On [[The Internets]] Anyway
File:Olsen Twins Legal Age10.jpg
*<del>A [[Life|Social Life]]</del> not applicable to anyone who's got this far down the article.
</gallery>|<gallery>
*[[Death]]
File:Olsen Twins Legal Age1.jpg
File:Olsen Twins Legal Age3.jpg
File:Olsen Twins Legal Age5.jpg
File:Olsen Twins Legal Age6.jpg
File:Olsen Twins Legal Age8.jpg
File:Olsen Twins Legal Age9.jpg
</gallery>}}


==See Also==
==See Also==
*[[Faggotry]]
*[[12 year old girls]]
*[[TV]]
*[[Olsen Twins]]
*[[Unwarranted self-importance]]
*[[iCarly]]
*[[Poor|Aloof]]


==References==
==External Links==
*[http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28694 Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television]
*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092359/ Full House on IMDB]
*[http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/01/26/28-not-having-a-tv/ Stuff white people like: #28 Not Having a TV]
*[http://abcfamily.go.com/shows/full-house Full House on ABC]


{{stub}}
{{Television}}
{{TV}}
{{Pedoseries}}
[[Category:Language]] [[Category:TV Shows]] [[Category:Drama-generating techniques]]

Latest revision as of 12:37, 15 July 2021

What? This article needs moar Lulz. Lots of them.
You can help by adding moar Lulz. Lots of them.
This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT MICHELLE DIES!!!1
Michelle Tanner
Joey love sweet little Stephanie Tanner


Full House (aka Fail House) is a painfully unfunny sitcom that's known to be one of the most G-rated banal kitsch shows of all time; favorite TV show by pedophiles, closet homosexuals, 8 year old girls and you. The show takes place in San Francisco, with three unmarried men, who occasionally enjoy the circle jerk, living in a house with three little girls. The show launched the "acting" career of Bob Faget and the Olsen Twins. It also managed to turn many people into home bitches.


Characters

Danny Tanner - Pedophile A father of three little girls and depressed widower who masturbates to peewee football. (character based on IRL Bob Saget).

Joey - Danny's previous gay partner and a shit comedian who's jokes give cancer survivors AIDS. Also a pedophile that lures in small children with his Puppets. He is also a master of ventriloquism.

Jesse - A self proclaimed ladies man and a pretentious Elvis wannabe son of a bitch who wants to be a "rock and roll" star although he has no actual talent and is a failure as a parent. He desperately needs a hair cut on several cases of it being mistaken for a bush monster. For moar information see: Guido.

Rebecca - Jesse's wife, coming from a white town in Nebraska. Teaches her housemates square dancing, therefore making her the object of white trash in the house. She is a hardcore supporter of the KKK and believes that white revolution is the only solution.

D.J. Tanner - Teenage Mary Sue, a over- emotional fat cow who is constantly getting in trouble for offering blowjobs to desperate nerds.

Stephanie Tanner - Middle daughter played by Jodie Sweetin, before she discovered the wonders of meth, she now stars on the popular Nickelodeon show iCarly as the goofy sidekick.

Michelle Tanner - Youngest of the daughters; known for getting raped nearly every other episode. Portrayed by the Olsen twins.

Nicky and Alex - Jesse's Aspie children who are constantly abused and molested by their parents to the amusement of the audience.

Steve Hale - D.J.'s forced boyfriend and frequent cannabis user. He always want to get some but DJ is too busy eating to even notice.

Kimmy Gibbler - Giant enemy crab and all out closet case. Unbeknownst to the Tanner family, she ends up becoming famed porn star and staring in the video "2girls1cup"


Oh Memories...

What ever happend to predictability?

The milk man, the paper boy, evening T.V
You miss your old familar friends, but
waiting just around the bend.

Everywhere you look (everywhere)
There's a heart (there's a heart)
A hand to hold on to.
Everywhere you look (everywhere)
There's a face of somebody who needs you.

When you're lost out there and your all alone
A light is waiting to carry you home
Everywhere you look.


Aftermath

The last known picture of Kimmy.

As you can tell, not all of the stars of Full House turned out to be successful. Just look at Bob Saget. After the show ended, his career began it's path down the road to becoming the normal life of a washed-up 90's television star. He now does shitty stand-up comedy and has been roasted by other faggots like him. He spends his days at his home fapping off to Spongebob. Kimmy's career also ended up in the toilet. She was last seen on the streets of Detroit with handfuls of used syringes.

Gallery

Gallery of Faggotry About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Somebody's grown up

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

External Links

Full House is part of a series on

Television

Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.

Full House is part of a series on
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