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Murloc: Difference between revisions
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Latest revision as of 05:35, 3 October 2016
Murlocs are a crossbreed of fish and men, and are extremely dangerous if provoked. They are fiercely territorial Jew, "Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl Rwl."
Although Murlocs look cute and cuddly, they are willing and able to tear your face off. If they attempt to do so, your only options are to die or to run like the faggot you are. If, by some luck, they don't kill you, they will attempt to communicate by flooding you with an endless wave of gibberish. In order to prevent this from happening, be sure to set this site as your homepage.
Baby murlocs
Baby murlocs may appear very cute, lovable, harmless, and delicious, but only one of these is true. Baby murlocs in actuality are vicious and would kill you as soon as seeing you, but do in fact taste like chicken. They may in fact try to appear very cute to trick you into approaching them, only to rip your throat out when you get within 5 feet of them. the proper technique for baby murloc disposal is as follows:
- Catch with net.
- Thwack against a few rocks or hard surfaces.
- If possible, attain 2 or more, tie legs together, and throw in air. This will tenderize the meat somewhat, and is just plain fun for the murloc-thrower.
- Tie 1 or more murloc's arms together, dangle over boiling pot and slowly submerge said baby murlocs(s). (May also be fried, roasted, broiled, or filleted)
- ????
- Profit!
- If you happen to be a sick fuck you may want to rape your baby murlocs before cooking. The best method is to tie/tape mouths shut, and stick in pants, or get many baby murlocs, tie them together, and stack them up for maximum sick fuckery.
This enjoyable ritual of baby murloc disposal has been practiced traditionally for many years. Wait, no, actually this was all done with citizens who just didn't quite fit in until it became politically incorrect in the 1960s and they had to import murlocs for a substitute.
Another enjoyable practice is to attain murloc eggs that are about to hatch, and fry them. After cracking the egg shell, a living baby murloc should fall out onto your pan and begin screaming "UuRw GlGu RlUuLr! MmRwRwRwRwRwRwRwRwRl! LgRwGu MmLmIl GuUuMu LrUuLlLuRl ChRwLlWr! EkUlIlMmWrIl...rwilulek glil...lrgulllurl.... murwrwrwrwrl...wrmumlru llch lmillrwrchuuluil..." which can be translated at this site. Fried baby murloc, fresh from the egg, is a delicious Easter tradition to be celebrated with the whole family.
Killing a baby murloc will result in Murlocgeddon, however. This consists of instantly being swarmed and beaten by every known murloc ever. It is quickly followed by a planet-sized murloc hiding on the other side of the world to rise up and splash the ocean, causing infinite damage (no matter how well hidden your rogue is.)
The Murloc Game
A game usually played on the trading channel of World of Warcraft which was clearly invented by a forty-five year old dyslexic kindergartner eating a peanut butter bar. One bored nerd will post the name of a movie and substitute a certain word with 'Murloc'. In turn, other bored nerds will follow and continue posting names of different movies with 'Murloc' somewhere in the title. This process generally continues until they become hungry, chew their fingers off, and commit suicide because they can't log on anymore. It should be noted that this is a bastardization of a far more entertaining game involving the word "penis"
Examples:
- One Flew Over the Murloc's nest
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Murlocs
- Finding Murloc
- The Murloc who Stole Christmas
- The League of Extraordinary Murlocs
- The Murloc
- Murloc I - IV
- I am Murloc
- Murloc 2: Electric Murloc
- Murloc in the Water
- Citizen Murloc
- Attack of the 50 Foot Murloc
- Overdrawn at the MurlocBank
- Saving Private Murloc
- And so forth.
Videos
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Murloc is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |
