Centrist

In Politics

Becoming a Centrist Candidate happens when a politician wants to be elected in a place where one party does not entirely dominate the other, and to win a candidate must get support from both sides. A particularly lulzy example is the American presidential race. In the primaries, the Democratic candidate will smoke a joint, let a gang of black persons fuck his wife, have sex with a tree, read bedtime stories to a glacier, and generally let all the hippie fucks, white-guilting yuppies, and ugly moon women stand around and cum in his mouth. The Republican presidential primary consists of each candidate being placed on the back of a Humvee with a .50 Cal at the Mexican border. The dude with the highest kill count (To be determined by sanctioned RNC observers) will be awarded the candidacy. After winning the primary, while showering off blood and/or semen, the candidate shall realize that the country still contains a fair number of Those Other People. Then, two previously mighty lulzwarriors will transform into bloodless, dickless centrists who live in fear of offending even the pettiest special interest groups.

On the issues

• Abortion is a woman's right, but as long as they don't kill the baby
• Guns are good but they cause crime
• believing that right and wrong are relative
• bisexuality is good
• have bipolar disorder
• obsess over video games, yet refuse to take a side in the "console war", instead playing PC games
• raping little boys AND girls
• Supporting "Dr. Paul" because "zOMG!!1 he's third party!!"

Sites

• http://www.uscentrist.org/
• Urban Dictionary on centrists

Centrist is part of a series on Politics.

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