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Gardevoir
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Voluntary exposure to this article may turn you into a furry. Please resist the temptation. |
Gardevoir is found on route 34, and the single most delicous dessert of all furfaggots, fortunately in the same games as Mudkipz. She is a Pokémon-inspired meme with high popularity on /b/ and /v/ along with various other imageboards, and is loved by many people who aren't furries. She is a widely accepted example of Rule 34.
Gardevoir has the appearance of a female humanoid. She has emo-eyepatches, angst syndrome, and the ability to confuse the minds of her foes. She also has what appears to be a red-stained blade growing from her chest, located uncomfortably between her breasts.
It is logically assumed that Gardevoir are always female; this is of course untrue as there is evidence of male versions in existence. Also, concerning the release of Pokémon Diamond, Pearl, and the newer Platinum, a male-exclusive version of Gardevoir, known as Gallade, has made its appearance.
The Pokédex entries for her state that she loves her Trainer, even to the point of death, so your lonely ass might actually have a chance.
Videos of Faggotry
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Fanfiction of Faggotry
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This article does not need any more retarded fanfiction stories, not at all. You can help by not adding anything, especially not retarded fanfiction stories. |
Stop right there, criminal scum!
"Congratulations! Your KIRLIA evolved into a GARDEVOIR!* "Wow!* Exclaimed Chaud, wide eyed at his new pokemon. He had no idea it was so close to evolving, but here it was! It got alot taller, and prettier too. It almost looked human.
"So you're a Gardevoir, huh? Hmm..." He walked around his pokemon, pacing a circle as he examined her closely. "I bet you're really strong, and your move pool's impressive too." He muttered to himself as he eyedballed her.
"Does my new form please you, Master?'
"...!* Chaud jumped, then looked around quickly. *What...? Who said that, who's there?"
'Its me Master. Your pokemon."
Chaud blinked, turning back to look at his Gardevoir. "That was...you?" She smiled and tilted her head slightly.
'Yes, Master. I can speak to you telepathically now.' Gardevoir said Wordlessly.
"Wow... telepathy. Now that's impressive! You're a great pokemon."
Gardevoir blushed and looked away. "Thank you, Master..."
"No Problem. I give compliments when compliment's due." Chaud winked, causing Gardevoir to blush even more. Chaud didn't seem to notice though. "Well we're almost to the next town. What do you say you get in the pokeball and I take you over to the pokemon center for some much deserved healing?"
Gardevoir nodded, lacing her hands behind her back.
"Alright!" Chaud smiled pulling out his pokeball and popping it open, allowing Gardevoir to return to within. He minimized it and set it on his belt, then began on his way to the next town.
Feeling more drained than usual, Chaud decided to spend the night at that town. He wasn't exactly well-off in terms of cash, so the motel he stayed at was sub par at best. Paying for his room, he headed up stairs and down the hall until he found his room.
He sighed out in relief at the sight of the bed. Dingy it was, but cushion is cushion. Chaud threw his backpack onto a chair and immediately removed his shirt. Tossing that on the floor, he started to unbuckle his belt. He let his pants drop to the floor, leaving him in his boxers. He walked over to his backpack to retrieve his pajamas, and didn't notice one of the pokeballs roll off his belt and rest on the button. The ball expanded and popped open. Gardevoir appeared on the motel room. She yawned silently, stretching, then turned around.
'Oh my!'
Chaud jumped, whirling around to find himself in his underwear in front of Gardevoir! "Ah! W-what are you....."
"...." She blushed intensely and turned away, her hands over her face.
"Oh man....I'm so embarrassed.... this was.... I mean, this wasn't.... I didn't.... " Chaud chewed on his lower lip, too flustered to think anything to say in this awkward moment.
'Master... I didn't know you felt that way."
"... ! Huh?" Chaud blinked.
Gardevoir looked back at him over her shoulder. She was still blushing, but her eyes.... they didn't look embarrassed. 'Why else would you summon me here? Now? In a motel room... you nearly nude.... me just evolved into this form....'
"Um..."
'You've been waiting, haven't you? Waiting until I evolved.... ' She turned fully, moving towards him. She looked as if she glided as she moved. So gracefully, So femininely. Her hand went to his chest, Sliding over the warm skin. '....until you could have me.'
"H-h-h-have- y-y-you?!" Chaud's face lit up like a beacon. He could feel his knees get shakey and his heart race. Was his pokemon actually.... And did she really.... and why didn't he feel more disgusted by this? Did he.... Did he wanted it all along after all?
She smiled. 'Yes. You can have me.' She pressed her lips against his, throwing her arms around his neck and engaging him in a passionate, heated embrace. To be honest, she'd wanted him too. Ever since she was Ralts. But it had been impossible until now....Now it could all 'fit'.
Chaud was completely taken aback by all this.His mind was reeling, but his body... it seemed to know exactly what to do. His hands almost unconsciously went to her hips, his lips beginning to kiss back, and a certain appendage began to stiffen. "Mmm..."
'Your lips feel so good, Master. And you're so warm. I cannot wait until we are one..." She spoke telepathically as if their kissing became fervent.
"Mmm. . . Then let's not wait anymore!" He exclaimed suddenly, sweeping Gardevoir off her feet quite suddenly, then tossing her onto the bed. He crawled on after her, grinning devilishly.
'Oh Master.... So assertive!"
"You betcha!" He kissed her again.
'Master... ...'
"Mmmm....."
'Master... ...'
"Mm--yeah?" He pulled away.
'Do you have....Protection?'
Chaud blinked, then furrowed his brows. "Protection...? Oh! You mean Condoms?"
She nodded.
"Uh, no. But we don't need those! I can't get you pregnant and we're both virgins, right?"
'Right, but....It's just...." She looked away, biting her lip.
'All humans use condoms for this type of thing. That's normal. And we're doing this. So.... If we used those, it'd be more... normal, and less like you're doing it with an animal.'
".... Aw. Gardevoir. I don't think of you as an animal!"
'But still...."
He pursed his lips, then smiled. "Okay! I saw a machine downstairs! Let's go!"
Gardevoir's expression brightened. 'Thank you, Master!'
After a quick dressing session, Chaud and Gardevoir hurried downstairs to the first floor of the motel. There was a vending machine with various chips, drinks, and at the very bottom.... "Condoms!"
'Only ten G!'
"uh... Oh uh... " He patted his pockets.
'What?'
"I don't have any change...."
'Oh.. ' Gardevoir looked down at the floor.
"... ..." He stared at her face for a moment, then nodded. "Don't worry!" Chaud knelt down in the front of the machine and stuck his hands into the flap.
'Master! Are you sure you should be doing that?'
"Don't worry! No one will notice. Nnnnngg... Just a little.... bit... more... And.... got it!" Chaud pulled the rubber out of the machine and straightened. "Now let's get back up there and--"
"STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!"
Chaud and Gardevoir both jumped as a man clad in heavy armor ran up to them, scowling.
"NOBODY BREAKS THE LAW ON MY WATCH! I'VE CONFISCATED YOUR STOLEN GOODS. NOW PAY YOUR FINE OR IT'S OFF TO THE JAIL!"
"Uh... sir... I'm sorry... really... this won't happen again... " Chaud stuttered out, wide eyed. "Let me just get my wall-"
"THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!" The guard drew out his sword.
'Master!' Gardevoir moved in between. 'Don't worry, I'll pro--' The guard beheaded Gardevoir with a single slash.
"....GARDEVOIR! NO! YOU MONSTER! YOU KILLED HER! YOU--" He never finished his sentence as the cold steel ran through his chest. He gasped, and blood trickled out from his lips. The sword was pulled out, and Chaud collapsed. Everything was going dark. Everything was vanishing. He saw Gardevoir's severed head on the other side of the room, and the armored man's feet as he nonchalantly sheated his blade and walked away....
Guro, Incest, TL;DR, and Furry!
Oh the horror... the horror!
Rain spattered across the sand, causing a deafening roar, like that of a hundred semis crashing into each other in apocalyptic glory. The crack of thunder split the insanity, and wind swept it up into a cacophony of natural horror. All the while David sat glumly, shielding himself from the gale beneath a rather large tree. He was soaked to the bone and miserable. Lost in Kanto, with no map, no pokedex, no food, and no company other than his beloved pokemon. He was sure he'd die of hypothermia or worse.
David sighed, clinging tightly to his umbrella which proved of little worth except for some sort of moral booster. His soaked blond hair clung tightly to his body. With an absent hand he fondled the pokeballs on his lap. He clicked the switch on the front, releasing Gardevoir, to stand beside him.
"Garde..?" she whispered to him soothingly. "No, I'm fine Gardevoir. I just wanted some to be with," he replied, barely audible to the young pokemon above the ripping winds. A shallow tear formed on the rim of his red eyes but was blotted out the rest of the water that coagulated on everything within sight.
She patted his shoulder. She was so cute, even for a pokemon. Her thin hips swayed, her plant-like hair messed by the storm. No, no, what are you doing, he thought. She's an animal.
But yet she was so much like a human, only smaller, and covered in fauna. Plus there was no one around for miles, and no amount of masturbating could satiate the lust he felt out in the wilderness... if only he could feel the flesh of a woman against his.
He put a loving arm around his Gardevoir, pulling her close and whispered; "Gardevoir, you know that I'm your trainer, right? Your master?"
"Gard," she nodded in agreement. He nodded in return. "And would you do anything for me?" "Garde," she nodded again. He moved another hand to her, sliding it over her wasp waist and looking carefully into her eyes. She seemed to begin to understand, a look of fear welled in her eyes. David could feel a lump in his pants swell as he began to force her upon the soaked ground. The sky rumbled with thunder all around them, the tree above them creaked threateningly.
The best thing about a pokemon is that they'll never be able to tell anyone about it.
In a flash his pants were off and he was atop her. She squealed and struggled, afraid to fight back because he was, indeed, her trainer. Her mind had a block in it, via years of training, years of believing he'd never harm her, that he was her best friend.
He ran a hand over her leafy posterior. A probing finger slipped in between, finding a hole. He knew little of the Gardevoir anatomy, but knew that any hole would work. He plunged his rock hard cock deep inside of her anus. It was white hot. A wave of pleasure washed over him before the first stroke. Gardevoir screamed in pain, her precious anus being pulled to four times its natural size. With each thrust she screamed louder, but David couldn't hear it. The crevasse formed tightly over his shaft, gripping harder than his fist ever could. Before long he finally came, filling her sphincter with his seed. White mixed with black blood as he pulled out. Blood and feces dribbled out.
The sight of Gardevoir laying there, whimping, smeared with mud, blood, cum, and her own feces unlocked something deep within David's soul. His heart soared at the sight. It felt so good! It was like he finally discovered his place in the world. While his spirit had become free, however, his mind quivered under the weight of his actions, struggling to block these memories from existence, enabling his attack.
His mouth lowered in primal instinct, extending his pink tongue. He lapped up her blood and shit, using pruned fingers to smother himself. It was beautiful. The bitter taste of her poop, and the coppery taste of her blood was like magic to him.
"Gardevvv..." she moaned, hands digging into the dirt. She wept. How could she do this to him? Pain was splitting her because of him. He said he'd never hurt her, though... maybe he wasn't? Maybe this was fine...
He flipped her bleeding, limp body over. His mouth met hers, lashing about inside of her toothed maw. He kissed hard and deep as he carefully fit his shitty dick into her pokevagina. The head slid in easily and she whimpered. With a deft hand he massaged her clitoris. She tried to pull back to cry out but he pushed into her harder. She screamed into his mouth. The vibrations filled him in ecstasy. He violently penetrated her and wave after wave of pleasure engulfed them both. It was beyond the realm of human understanding. Collapsing universes whirled about them, being born and dying in an eternal, idiot firestorm.
As he came again he thrust harder, forcing as much of himself in as he could. His penis crashed into her cervix and she let out a blood curdling scream, clawed hands digging into his flesh.
David didn't like that at all. No, she wasn't allowed to injure him. He drove his bleaching fist into her mouth. There was a crunch and black syrup welled up in her mouth and eyes. She gurgled, and he smiled gleefully. Disengaged from her mangled secret, he crawled up to her face. Lifting her broken head he plunged his dick into her wounded mouth.
Gardevoir could take no more. She gave himself over to him. He was her master. She would please him any way she could and never make another whimper in reply. She suckled on his piece as he pulled it in and out. Cracked lips smothered him, teasing glands and glans. He gripped her arms, squeezing tighter. More pain roared through her and she sucked harder. She gagged, puking a little. The bile stung him, so he drove another fist into her eye.
Through the pain she sucked and finally he came. As he did, his mind cracked a little more. He gripped her head, forcing his cock into the back of her throat. She vomited again, squirting half-digest plant matter all over both of them and he lashed her. Her tiny bones splintered under his blows and he came harder at her destruction.
Weeks later David finally found himself at Cerulean city. Gardevoir wasn't looking very good. She didn't respond to vocal stimuli and couldn't see out of the eye he caved in, but he felt no remorse for it. Even so; he felt glad. She was mentally broken. His attack had transformed her into the perfect sex slave: when he moved his cock near her she would tilt her head, trying to find it, just as a baby searches for a nipple and automatically begins suckling.
She was infected, though. Mold grew upon her anus and wounded eye. Her vagina was yellow with infection, discharging constantly. She wouldn't make it another day.
David rushed to the pokemon center, Gardevoir in his arms. He came up to the reception desk and there was Nurse Joy. Her eyes first when to David's dumb smiling face, but then down to the pokemon in his arms and she gasped.
"What happened?!" she said, stroking Gardevoir's hair with the gentleness of a mother. "I'm not exactly sure," he muttered coldly, "I found her like this out in the forest," tears formed in Joy's eyes and she scooped the poor pokemon up, taking her over to the rejuvenation chamber for dying pokemon in another room. After flipping the switch the chamber filled with gases, obscuring outside eyes. Joy didn't mind that David had followed her in and closed the door, she was too busy studying a complicated-looking readout now appearing on a computer screen.
She bent over low as she typed slowly, a complete novice with computers it appeared, and as she did her skirt teased her thick ass. Her thigh highs squeezed her legs delightfully. She was a delicious woman, and David would have no problem finding out just how delicious she was.
He slid up next to her. "How does it look, nurse?" he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Not very good, I'm afraid the rejuvenation chamber won't be enough for--" "No, not the pokemon. Your cunt."
At this the nurse spun around. A hurt look flashed across her face and she bit her lip. She was exactly sure how to handle this situation. It was true that she was constantly horny. She never had time for anything outside of the hospital. Her cunt tingled at the prospect of being split. She eyed the door. Should she run? Should she have sex with this complete stranger? "He seems dangerous..." she though, but as she did her thighs pressed against themselves, pinching her slowly enlarging clitoris.
David's hands began to unbutton her blouse, revealing a polkadotted bra clasping two melon-sied breasts. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the office," she said with as much courage as she could muster, but didn't stop him. He pushed her up against the computer terminal and mouthed her nipples. She gasped as he bit one, teasing it with his tongue. He sucked on it and she lurched, not noticing her hands slide down to his hips.
He lifted her and placed her upon the desk. Her legs spread and she leaned back, forgetting that she was on the rag, and gave herself to him. He lowered himself to a knee, ripping off her clashing blue underwear and explosing her rosy, dripping hole. He gently tugged on the string sticking out, drawing a blood-soaked tampon out. It fell to the floor and thick chunks began to seep out. She burned for him, for this complete stranger. His fingers moved into her, rubbing the rough spot just inside the warm tunnel. his red tongue slathered her clit. He sucked on it and hummed. A dizzy, buzzing feeling filled her head and she began bucking, screaming in pleasure. Soon her screams of pleasure became those of pain as he forced three fingers into her tight pussy. She hadn't been with a man in so long..
"No, please.." she gasped as her vagina slowly spread and grew used to the probing digits.
He inserted another finger and she gasped. This time her cunt burned in protest, showing no signs of widening. She squeaked. He forced another finger in and soon he was fisting her, plunging his large, manly hands in as far as they would go, spreading her wider. Filling her.
"Moooree," she growled through clenched teeth, thick streams of saliva going down her cheeks, "FUCK ME HARDER YOU PEACE OF SHIT."
David didn't like this however, and punched her in the gut. She lurched forward and gasped. But then, weighing how much fun he was having with being told what to do, he decided to insert his next fist.
Her tendons popped and squeaked as he forced the other one inside slowly. Her cleft opened wider, and wider still. She screamed in pain and pleasure until her throat bled almost as much as her cunt. Blood streamed down his arms, mixing with her cum until his shirt and the floor were soaked.
There was a knock at the door, followed by the turning of a handle.
In strode the doctor the nurse had called for earlier. Her father.
He stopped, shocked at the situation that unfolded in front of him. "W-What are you, what are you doing to my little girl?" he murmured. "Shut the fuck up you old bastard and get the fuck over here, her mouth isn't going to fuck itself!" David shouted, forcing his voice above that of nurse Joy's. She was horrified that her father had walked in on this, horrified at all the blood and what she had been coerced into, but she couldn't stop. Lust raged inside of her, overtaking all other motor functions.
"Fuck me, daddy," she said, grinning a bloody smile. Her pleading eyes met his and before she knew it, her father's wrinkly, liver-spotted dick was in her mouth.
The doctor fucked her from the opposite side of the table. Her young tongue slid over the top of his dick, teasing the helmet. He bucked wildly, shakily. He had not had sex since his wife had died ten years ago, and sometimes had dreams about his daughter. He tried to ignore them, push them to the back of his mind. But he could never help his sick fantasies. Sometimes he'd "accidentally" walk in on her dressing or showering, and would think about it later that night as he choked himself and petted his shriveling member.
David began to grow bored, his maniacal, slowly-splintering mind needed more horror to satiate it. It was a curse, but one he enjoyed.
He drew one hand out of her weeping puss, much to her protest. With the other he gripped her cervix and twisted. Pain cut her and she clenched her teeth and moaned, cleanly chopping her father's dick off as he came. The doctor fell backwards and the nurse sat up straight. Her vision blurred from the pain, but she was just barely able to see what David was doing.
He had drawn a knife out of his pocked and driven it into his urethra. His cock opened wide and he screamed, but kept pushing hard, down into his ballsack. Blood gushed forward and he puked, bile adding to the horrendous pain, but he couldn't stop. Slowly memories of him and Gardevoir flooded back, all the fun they had back home. Memories of his mother and father, how they wanted him to succeed. They wanted him to come home, to spend time with their baby boy. Of his first love, the girl he never got over. Her name was Misty. She wanted to see him again, she had sent him a letter only a month earlier saying she wanted to be with him again, that nothing felt the same without him. What was he doing here?
He couldn't stop his hands, they moved on their own, twisting out Joy's cervix, bit by bit, and slitting his genitals. At last the leathery bag was open. They gripped his testicles and pried them out, forcing them into his mouth.
All three parties bled to death. It was in the news the next day. The Gardevoir recovered, but was forever in a tortured state of slavery.
Misty shook as she read it. She wept and her mind grew jaded and hateful. She was alone in the world now. Nobody she loved. Nothing. Alone.
She drew a pokeball from her belt and opened it. Staryu appeared next to her. "Staryu," she blushed, and looked at him through teary eyes, "would you do anything for me?" "Starr," he echoed. Her cunt burned. She needed it...
HAPPY END :D
Trolling People Online with Gardevoir
- Get a timid Gardevoir that knows Destiny Bond
- Make it hold a Choice Scarf
- Use Destiny Bond
- Wait for enemy to attack
- Take the enemy down with your Gardevoir with Destiny Bond
- Await bawww
- ???
- PROFIT!
Gallery of Faggotry
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Every Gardefag's dreams ever! -
what -
Typical Gardevoir fetish. -
SPOILER: IT'S A TRAP! -
Most Pokefags dont even know that Gardevoir can be male.
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Closet Furfag fucking a trap -
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Master, we'll be together FOREVER! -
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If you get a boner from this, you're a closet furfag -
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the result of a newfag trying to tweak sprites -
This is you and your Gardevoir...You wish -
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Gardevoir's pre-evolution is a common target for CP -
ZOMG moar Kirlia CP! -
CP Involving Kirlia's Pre-Evolution,Ralts -
Moar Ralts CP -
A Gardevoir can be a pedophile too
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This entry says a fact that most Pokefans dont know or try to ignore.
Known Gardefags
[+]GreyTensho
The owner of the Gardevoir Pillow. Thinks himself as a member of Team Rocket and is currently into a Gardevoir named Emily (wich can fuck up even more this story, as she is kind-hearted, in contrart with Team Rocket's actions/intentions). He has also the power to transform into a human any time he wants (he adopts the form of a black wolf).
[+]Schattendorn
Also a "member" of Team Rocket, he currently owns a Gardevoir called Chrysan wich, to be unique, has a darker tone on her "green skin". Like the other furfag, he thinks himself as the most awesome being that ever existed (a real motherfuckin badass) and doesn't care about other small people's sufferings. Before that, said furfag was in love with Kate, the daughter of Krystal with Wolf from the StarFox universe. He's a german, BTW.
[+]Dimlicht
To conclude the Team Rocket Trifecta of Fail, comes this cocksucker (but he's actually just on Team Rocket to gain access to some precious intelligence). This enlarged forehead monster "dates" Eloise, an alcoholic and tabagist Kirlia that was born of an abusing mother untill said mother decided to abandon her. Although she clearly shows interest in the forehead monster, it is not known as to why he instills some fear in her.
[+]GT5K
What happens when you combine a Furry with the fetish for Gardevoirs, the lack of drawing skills, the lust for smoking pot and a nigger (although only niggers and hipsters consume drugs)? This clusterfuck! Like all niggaz, he has a special lust for slutty woman, role portrayed by Sana, his Gardevoir whom he impersonates on his own DA comments, offering herself to pleasure others. He is known for stealing and recoloring images, claiming that he only gave it "his view" (wich can only be interpreted as something that crawled from under his KFC ridden anus). This faggot says himself to be of Team Rocket too, but it's often neglected by the trio above.
[+]Calmnivore
Currently has a fetish for Gardies, drawing himself falling in love with Grace in his LoveLost comic. Not much is known as his story is still under development. He is known for having a cool temper, so trolling is hard.
[+]RaichelChu26
She writes a series of boring, unfunny and badly drawn/written comics called Meh, because she didn't have anything better to come up with. In said comic, she's always bashed by her shiny Ralts, Ramona (a.k.a. Rammy) wich has a vastly superior intelect, although with some huge angst and superiority complex.
[+]Livinlovindude
Follows the story of Grace, a Gardevoir that fell in love with Mewtwo and their offspring, Emily (wich is, by the way, Death incarnate).
[+]Goldenkitsune-Queen
This furfag doesn't have delusions about dating an imaginary being. She, instead, tells us the story of Damian, a male Gardevoir and it's father, Charon, wich lost his chest gem in a battle with a Zoroark wich culminated in him becoming some kind of undead, life-devouring being. Charon was then made into a Creepypasta (the only one known involving Gardevoirs) http://goldenkitsune-queen.deviantart.com/art/Pokemon-The-Call-of-Charon-185543231.
Goldenkitsune-Queen- Template:Youtube2 Although not belonging to Goldenkitsune-Queen, it is still related to her.
[+]Slash Firestorm
Widely know for his Bigass series Sinners. More info can be found on his article.
[+]Dr. Mack Foxx
Wrote 3 hude wall of texts (The Village Guardian, Project Omega and The Final Strike) about himself turning from an supreme (in every characteristic you can imagine) wolf into a gardevoir, dating another called Aura, wich is some kind of chosen guardian for some god-forsaken village. The story covers pretty much all it's bullshit ridden shenanigans.
[+]DuskRunner
The creator of a fanfic called United Through Two Worlds on the Sofurry.com website. In this fanfic the earth dimension is morphing with the pokemon dimension, wich will culminate in the destruction of both universes and it's in that setting that our protagonist falls in love with said creature (Melody). Lot of angst and bad english ahead. This fanfic holds bonus points for pokefags, because it also features a Lucario and the pre-evolution of a Lopunny.
See also
External links
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Gardevoir is part of a series on Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage. |
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Gardevoir is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
 Gardevoir is part of a series on Pokémon [Who’s that Pokémon?] | |||||||
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