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Marco Rubio
Little Marco Rubio is a US Senator, Cuban Pete's son. His family was all expelled from Cuba by Fidel Castro, as were gossiping in the corners of the former dictator be horned and paintbrush. He was a Republican candidate for the presidency of the United States of America in 2016, and is quite popular among certain sectors of Republicans, even though a Latin "brown". This is because he is seen as the Republican version of Obama, in various ways, one being that he also had virtually no experience before running for office; along with the fact that like Obama, he isn't someone who has intelligence to create actual policy and is instead a nice PR image for his party while they fuck over the same cholos that would be enticed by his candidacy in the same way niggers did Obama.
Little Marco was born in Miami, stronghold of the illegal Cuban refugees. His father was a merengue dancer, and his mother was a waitress at Mojito's Bar. Seeing that Barack Obama became president, Little Marco also became interested in this vacancy after all, if a child of Muslims managed to win, maybe a son of Cuban can too. Currently is resigned to know that Trump will become the president of the United States instead of him.
#RobotRubio short-circuits entire campaign due to Christie at GOP debate
Before the GOP debate on February 8th 2016, Little Marco was beginning to look like the only solid contender left against Donald Trump, and the traditional big donors were beginning to flood money into him after being stung heavily why the fact that they wasted $150 million on Low Energy Jeb Bush. He was also getting endorsements from the traditional neo-cons and bible-belt fuckers who they knew they could rely on for that tried and tested 'Strong Conservative Principles'. Of course like most politicians Little Marco likes to repeat 30 second focus group tested polished soundbites that he memorised from his advisers and scriptwriters, and does not hold any views of his own that might be seen as controversial with needed voter bases.
Someone who had noticed this in between his regular visits to Dunkin' Donuts and Krispy Kreme was Chris Christie, the fat bastard had not been having such a good time in the primaries, and was butthurt that a billionaire and then someone who had not even served a full term as Senator was beating him in the polls and the votes. Christie knew that if he went after Rubio the same way that he does McDonalds and people who like to use a plant for recreational use, he'd be able to show America what a twat Little Marco truly was. He just needed to prod him about being the Republican Obama and then just wait for the robot to suffer from a malfunction in the speech department.
The aftermath of his glitch-out was the recognition that Little Marco was not going to the guy who would win against the man who took down an entire political dynasty who had ruled the GOP for four decades, eventually losing in his own state to Trump; dropping out as an absolute fucking failure shortly thereafter. This meant that the only person who had any chance at stopping Trump from becoming president, was the Zodiac Killer.
Of course we should note that it didn't help Christie Kreme much either, and he resigned 2 days after the debate on February 10th. He would be the first former candidate to endorse The Donald on the 26th, and embrace the fact they got their arse handed by someone who built golf courses and sold mail-order steaks for a living.
See also
- Donald Trump - who he lost against
- Rand Paul - (convicted isolationist)
- Ted Cruz - (Brother that in addition to Cuban is also Canadian)
- Carly Fiorina - Failed CEO and candidate
| Featured article September 23 & 24, 2016 | ||
| Preceded by Learn the difference |
Marco Rubio | Succeeded by Tiziana Cantone |