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Ariana Grande
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This fanbase needs a serious clean up. Somebody should do something about it. |
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| Ariana Grande | |
| Born | June 26, 1993 (32 years old) |
| Nationality | Americunt 
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| Ethnicity | Always changing! |
| Gender | Female |
| Occupation | Singer, Actress, Homewrecker |
Ariana Grande-Butera is a feminazi attention whore who talks in a weird, annoying baby-voice, makes perpetual duck-faces when taking selfies and has dumped numerous men to get in touch with the dicks of men that are already in happy loving relationships, was apparently responsible for a terrorist attack in England, as well as the pathetic suicide of Mac Miller. Did you know she also has a serial killer fetish?
No shame in stealing taken men
Once upon a time, Ariana's parents divorced when she was a little girl with a blossoming sexual thirst. As a result, she began to steal men away from their significant others only to cheat on them with another taken man after getting bored of the very men she took from their ex partners. From Jai Brooks, to Nathan Sykes, the list goes on and on and on.
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The Nickelodeon Days
Ariana was pretty much Dan Schneider's personal favorite piece of jailbait to work with. He would constantly cuddle her like she was some sort of trophy wife session after session, always ready to beat his teeny tiny meat to her stinky smelly feet. She also doesn't get along well with certain celebrities. She had a feud with Victoria Justice back in the Victorious days where she blamed Victoria for ending the show which made fans angry with Victoria. In "What's Next For Sarah?", a parody of Ariana Grande was called "Gloriana" pokes fun at Ariana's narcissistic demeanor and her claiming to be a vegan while wearing leather bags and stuff with animal fur on it. Some time after the sisterhood in Dan Schneider's prison of fap-material fantasies ended, Jennette called out Ariana's skank ass for having been such a naughty nasty whorebag. Rumor has it, Ariana took all the hush money so that she doesn't end up in a strip club full of men who have lost their virginities to their cum-ridden hands looking at petite women. Thanks to Jennette's call outs about her, Ariana got butthurt as hell and put her on a list of people interviewers are not allowed to ask her about in addition to Mariah Carey, an old hag who's only popular during Christmas season that accused her of being a copy cat voice-wise. Sike! Ariana molested Mariah into collaborating with her on a remix of Yes, And?, where she tried to fight back against the homewrecker label and empower her fellow whores, but failed miserably to appeal to the usual numbers.
Her first foybriend, Graham Phillips was her longest lasting relationship before an unrelenting series of relationships that fail to last as long because she just can't contain her smol, jailbait sized tits when she sees a man who is already in a relationship, ready to ride their worn out dicks. At first, the second victim of her split up reverse harem, some lesbian-with-a-dick prankster named Jai Brooks was a total simp for her, calling her hot and all that stuff no sane human being (or at least one whose hands don't stink like cum or coochie every second) would ever say about someone as shitty as Ugliana. But wait! There were two arcs of that relationship! The first arc ended when Grande-Puta predictably cheated on him with Nathan Dyke with a Dick Sykes. They later got back together because Jai was a sucker for immature, overactive pussy at the time. But then a second breakup happened. Not because Jai was bad at sex, not because Jai's dick was two sizes too small, but because Jai didn't come comfort her when her grandfather croaked! Bawwwww... What the fuck kind of excuse is that to dump someone who busted his lezzie looking ass to come back to you after you cheat on them with your next victim of short lasting relationships!?
Her first attempt at chocolate flavored dick
—Naya Rivera blasting Ariana not keeping her jailbait sized tits to herself | ||
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Whoriana first took interest in taken men with Big Sean, who was ready to get married to the late Naya Rivera. Big Sean thought he was really going to have a good time after he left is fiancee for a seductive pop star who was just beginning to sing about how much she loves having sex more than a normal human being would. He was wrong! In addition to constantly demanding his big brown dick every second, Ariana would act like a toddler and talk in a strange baby voice. This would go on until Big Sean got his karma by seeing Ariana cheat on him with Ricky Alvarez the next year. Funny enough, Big Sean was previously charged with sexually abusing a 17-year old girl in 2011.
Her Grande appetite for attention (and sex)
Sluttiana claims to detest the objectification of women by men, yet she consistently objectifies men herself. This is evident in her choice of male dancers, who all sport six-pack abs, wear open leather jackets to flaunt their muscles, and tight jeans, while her lyrics often revolve around sexual themes. For instance, her song "Side To Side" describes a guy fucking her so hard she can't walk straight, and her music video for "Dangerous Woman" features in lingerie, stockings, a choker, and high heels on a couch, along with body suits and cat-ear headbands during performances with the full intent of sexually arousing losers whose hands stink of vaginal fluids and dick cheese. She even winks at the camera and removes her clothing in slow motion in her videos. At one point, she loved Nicki Minaj so much, that she did a song that has to do with those two hoes in bed together. So why does she react negatively when someone sexualizes her? She views her actions as empowering and claims it's about her self-confidence. However, if a man finds her attractive, she perceives it as objectification and sexism. Yet, this hasn't stopped her from "accidentally" sharing a video of herself kissing a female friend. Her quest for attention seems unending. Of course, this grande-sized appetite for all things sexual helps her get what she wants because we live in a world where everyone can't contain their freakish sexual tensions and hate all things that have to do with being pure as a dove when it comes to an individual's sex drive.
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— Ariana describing herself so eloquently | ||
The infamous donut shop incident
Adopting a vegan lifestyle goes beyond just dietary preferences; it represents a comprehensive philosophy rooted in profound respect for all living creatures and a dedication to avoiding products that exploit animals. This commitment extends to both food choices and clothing. In her quest for fashion and status, Ariana may have overlooked the core principles of veganism, as highlighted by her vast collection of designer handbags that symbolize luxury but also animal exploitative while she positions herself as a strong supporter of veganism—a lifestyle that generally involves refraining from all animal products in both diet and fashion—a closer look at her lifestyle reveals a notable inconsistency. She often showcases high-end items from luxury brands like Chanel and Louis Vuitton, which are famous for their premium leather products. Furthermore, her collaborations with brands like MAC Cosmetics, which has been criticized for animal testing, complicate her position. Although MAC has made progress toward cruelty-free practices, its history of animal testing casts doubt on her association with the brand. Additionally, her partnership with Reebok, a company that manufactures leather sneakers, further highlights the contradictions in her declared vegan lifestyle. But wait, she's done something much worse that ultimately proves that she's faking her veganism...
She started by shouting "What the fuck is that!?' to the worker showed a tray of sweets. When the worker wasn't looking, she along with Ricky Alvarez licked donuts that they hadn't paid for like they did during their oral sex sessions every night. She first tried to blame her bratty, air-head behavior on a serious worry with children becoming obese in America by licking donuts in a donut-shop and then buying one yourself (only eating half a donut, because restrictions and pro-ana) and being a brat to the person working there fights the good fight when it comes to obesity. The incident ultimately resulted in Ariana getting banned from the donut shop and predictably breaking up with Ricky. After that pathetic apology, she went on TV to apologize, ending the appearance with promoting her new music coming up. Of course, people thought she was joking when she said "I hate America" and acted extremely disrespectful towards the employee in the donut shop.
Relationshit with Mac Miller that lead up to his death
View more about his only other relationshit here
After Ricky Alvarez failed to satiate her ravenous sexual appetite and didn't lick her body as much as he did with trays of donuts, she proceeded to take Mac Miller from his childhood sweetheart, Nomi Leasure 3 years after their first collaboration that sure made them pass for a couple.
Of course Mac ended up regretting it after he solely missed how much sweeter and less demanding of sexual favors every second his previous sweetheart was saw that Ariana was going after yet another man in a happy relationship all thanks to her manager being a stupid brawn and soft doxxing her to her new challenger, Pete, leading up to one spicy night after the Met Gala! While many people who were far up both their asses claim their busy schedules were to blame, they also hit the unfollow button on each other’s social media. In one of his songs, Mac didn’t hold back, pointing to the toxicity as a key reason for their split. After that, Ariana jumped into a new relationship, while Mac found his zen in music, promising to turn over a new leaf in an Instagram post.
Mac battled with depression and substance abuse, but Ariana and their friends were swearing on behalf of their reputations that were there to cheer him on like a supportive fan club. One thing nobody, not even the Lord, told them about was that sobriety is no walk in the park. It’s more like a marathon where the finish line keeps moving, and the runner has to dodge all sorts of temptations along the way! Some will cross that finish line, others will die halfway.
— Ariana claims that she was trying to help Mac with his drug addiction, only to worsen it by dumping his junkie ass | ||
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Mac becomes an hero!
Tragedy struck on September 7, 2018. Miller was scheduled to shoot a music video later on that day, but instead, he was found unresponsive. His personal assistant tried to get him back up on his feet, transferring all the life saving cooties they can into the rapper's lungs until paramedics arrived. Sadly, the paramedics arrived too late, with Miller already past rigor mortis. The wannabe wigger's biggest fans went everywhere they can on the internet to put all the blame on Ariana because she just had to dump him to get onto another man's dick just to spite him for not giving her hungry little pussy enough attention because he couldn't help himself when it came to sweet, sweet drugs. Like the fake bitch she is, she would constantly talk shit about Mac Miller after they broke up instead of keeping their reasons for breaking up private, bitching her culo pequeño guarro off about how he was toxic and she felt like she was a mother for him because he was sick. But when he became an hero, she talked about him being an angel. Pieces of jailbait running "stan" accounts, pedophiles who like when women have small loli tits, and even the losers who were filling their genitals up with the same drugs that killed Mac immediately started whining about what soulless assholes people were for saying that Ariana's cheating ass contributed to Mac getting so depressed and eliminating himself from the earth, moments before they went back to fapping to this whore's shitty music, some even dreaming about licking her pussy clean from all the cum it took from Pete each night.
— Pete knew he was in trouble! | ||
Relationshit with Pete Davidson
View more details on Pete's relationshit before this one and a rather unexpected epilogue of this very relationshit here
Whoriana only started seeing Pete just to make Mac jealous couldn't help herself with Pete already planning to marry his girlfriend at the time and just had to get down his pants because she likes used up dicks rather than fresh dicks. It all started when Ariana threw a little shindig at her Airbnb in NYC and decided to invite Pete while both of them were still in their respective relationshits. Stupid Brawn made the mistake of mentioning that Pete would be hanging out with some of the SNL crew, possibly hosting a big orgy party. La puta grande only wanted Scooter to say hello to Pete on her behalf, but the old fart took it up a notch and said, “Why not let him say hi himself?” and gave Pete her phone number. Pete had a mutual friend who was also heading to the after party, and he noted that the festivities kicked off before Ariana even made it back from the Gala. When she finally strolled in, she was still sporting an extremely slutty Sistine Chapel dress that screams out for all the men to fuck her with all the cum they got waiting to come out their weewees. The night turned into one hell of a raunchy comedy-styled game of Quiplash on the couch. As the guests started to drop like flies out the room, it ended up being just Pete and Ariana left in her place. That’s when he decided to channel his inner romantic and asked if he could kiss her. And they did like the filthy animals they are! As a result, they left their respective partners to pursue a relationshit that didn't even last half a year.
Pete would talk about her like an object, saying he felt like he won a prize. To top it off, Ariana decided to get matching tattoos with Pete, even went the extra mile and wrote a song for him on her album like she did with all the other suckers she managed to pull to her naked body. They were always having public cyber sex and being a simp for one another until word got out that Mac couldn't fight his post-Ariana depression anymore.
Pete almost becomes an hero
After only less than half a year of dating an even almost getting married, Ariana and Pete went their separate ways not long after Mac sacrificed his life to drugs due to depression seeing a whore he left his childhood sweetheart for cheat and leave him for a comedian whom she thought had a bigger dick than him who was just about to marry his own sweetheart before she left his unfunny ass. This of course lead to Ariana's fandom full of shitty, smelly feminist skanks and men wearing their own dick cheese as a second pair of underwear to harass him. It got so bad to where Pete decided to pull the "I'm going to kill myself!" card as means to get the harassment to stop. It was so bad, that the police had to come over to his house during his audition for the 2018 Golden iPod Awards. Later, Ariana got furious when Pete made jokes about their break-up on Saturday Night Live right after she took one nasty jab at him, saying "thank you, next" and putting him in a burn book in her own tasteless rip off of Mean Girls, literally after she went to go see Pete to save herself from getting his blood on her stans' hands that are already literally full of more than enough genital goop.
— Pete after failing to win a Golden iPod Award for 2018 | ||
How to Get Away With Racism: The Grande Way
Ever since she walked out of Nickelodeon with all that hush money she stole from the studio, Greedy Grande decided to adopt a habit of changing her race to not only appeal to as many communities as she can (well, except for the asexual community because everyone haaaaates when people don't get sexual feelings for anyone), but also try to make as many people as she can try to seduce into playing with their smelly flaky genitals to whatever race she was appropriating at the time.
Ariana's race shifting started with the walky talky chocolate people by applying enough fake tan to pull off the full body version of a blackface, and even adopted the chocolatey accent to go along with it after leading so many people to think she was latina. In a shitty hip-hop-inspired joint about all of the joys of disposable income titled 7 Rings, she even had a shitty rap section to go along with mimicking the way rappists and Wrecking Ball era Miley Cyrus violated our retinas with ass shaking moves so shitty that we wish they all got slapped with charges falling under sexual assault because that's how bad our eyes were assaulted with the power they thought they had in their asses.
Then, when K-Pop got popular by the time she seduced the producers enough to be a judge on The Voice just by singing how much she wants to have sex with whomever's cum-crusted dick she was pulling at the time, Blackiana got tackled and ceased by Asianiana as if the newly formed Asian persona was Derek Chauvin! But before that, back when she was applying as much peanut butter chocolate mixture as she could, she was putting Japanese on her hands! Could this actually be the reason why she decided to transition from being some random ginger bread cookie who escaped from a strip club to someone that got rejected from a J-Pop band for looking at too much tentacle porn?
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Nice try, Floozy -
Fixation with murderers
— Shirley Hughes, the mother of one of the 17 men killed by Jeffrey Dahmer | ||
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When we say that Ariana has an unsettling obsession with topics like murder, we mean it! She claims to be deeply affected by the 2017 Manchester Massacre, yet she had no qualms about "joking" that JonBenet Ramsey, a 6-year-old girl who was brutally raped and murdered on Christmas Day in 1996, would make a great Halloween costume. That's right! According to Disgustiana, a deceased 6-year-old who was raped and killed is an acceptable choice for Halloween costumes. Then, during the series of interviews that took place while Hollywood was producing one big cash cow of a Wizard of Oz fanfiction, Ariana stated that cannibalistic serial killer, Jeffrey Dahmer was her dream dinner guest and LAUGHED throughout the interview like the sick psycho bitch she is. This did not sit well with the family of Dahmer's victim, Tony Hughes, who was deaf and non-verbal and was targeted and killed by Dahmer in 1991.
Failed marriage with Dalton Gomez
Eight months after Pete's fear of getting dumped because of grief from Mac Miller successfully winning the 2018 Golden iPod Awards came true, the puta grande tried again to get some chocolate dick with one of the two guys behind some ridiculously obscure band called Social House, who she collaborated with to produce a shitty song about situationships friends with benefits whatever the hell kind of "fuck around and find out" shit people do when searching for people to grow entitled to one another these days. She did manage to get on down to Mikey's chocolate salty balls a for little longer than she ate all the potato chips and cheese off Pete's kielbasa... until yet another man whose dick danced to her increasingly insatiable pussy came along and she decided she had enough chocolate-flavored dick shortly before Valentine's Day 2020, swapping races once again when the coronavirus was Kung Flu fighting its way around America. Her engagement to Pete came to fruition after only a month of dating. But with this Dalton Gomez fellow? Surprise! She had a little more patience, as she went on to get engaged four months subsequently from first getting to know this guys through what's underneath their underwear. Unlike last engagement, which failed due to Mac failing to fight his inner demons, this one succeeded after five stressful months. That didn't stop their friends from being concerned about the longevity of this relationship and how it will fall apart.
—One witness said | ||
Surprisingly, this was actually her first relationship to last more than two years. However, because of them always having to be apart due to Wicked being filmed in the Land of Fish and Chips (but the two lead actresses refused to eat the fish and chips between scenes as one was constantly craving a man's personal meat, while the other's face constantly smelled like a group of shrimps after one hell of an undersea orgy), it only lasted as long as her very first relationship amongst the many men she tainted the lives of. Upon the divorce in 2023, Dalton was lucky to receive over $1,250,000 tax-free from la puta grande who left him for another married man as part of their divorce settlement. While he won’t be getting any spousal support, he will be entitled to half of the net profits from the sale of their Los Angeles home. Additionally, Ariana was forced to cover $25,000 of his attorney fees.
At first glance, this might seem like just another celebrity divorce, but there’s more beneath the surface. Legal documents reveal that the former couple agreed not to release, disclose, or publish any photographs (and their related negatives), tapes, films, or similar materials in any form, whether now or in the future. Moreover, Gomez reportedly signed a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) that prohibits him from giving interviews, writing, or participating in any way with the creation or presentation of books, articles, interviews, programs, or any other type of publication related to the other party. As a result, Dalton is bound by this mutual agreement to remain silent about their relationship no matter how much Whoriana tries to twist up the story like Amber Heard did during the Johnny Depp trial. But Ariana proceeded to violate the negative remarks part of the NDA in her shitty slander burger of an album, Eternal Sunshine.
—Ariana's personal "fuck you" to Dalton after the divorce. | ||
Back to being a white chick
Wicked: Behind the Scenes
After successfully catering to chocolate people with her Thank U, Next album and pretending to be Asian for a while, she proceeded to wash off all her fake melanin and usurp the identity of Bad Bitch Good Witch Glinda for Wicked. Getting infected with Michael Jackson skin disease to the point of it even stripping all the melanin off her hair was not the only noticeable change on her, though! She certainly had a nose job, experimented with lip fillers, and consistently wears hair extensions as a result of hair loss over the years, ultimately contradicting her statements that she didn't get any plastic surgery. Additionally, she lost what little boobs she had from not eating anything else aside from munching on the meat of whichever man is currently under her love spell, which she's probably never going to get back unless she gains enough fat on her chest to get herself some implants. That's just the tip of the iceberg.
People say that Dalton cheated and that's why Ariana decided to file for divorce. NOPE! Turns out the real reason why Ariana left Dalton was because while on set for that dogshit fanfiction of a movie, la puta grande gazed upon on another married man, using her sexually provocative magic to make that particular man's dick dance all the way to her rancid coochie, as usual, just with one difference: The married man she seduced to her panties only just had a baby with his high school sweetheart! Though if Dalton did cheat on her, we totally understand why he did it. In addition to crying on interviews, she constantly flirts with Cynthia Erivo, a dyke who stole a woman from another woman and got triggered over people making pussy jokes about Elphaba. The romantic tendencies within her friendship with Cynthia and the growing amount of people who stick their hands down their pants to two women just interacting with each other ended up scaring the dyke who Cynthia stole from a previous marriage shitless!
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"Heyyy, waiter! His sausage is rotten! Find me a man with fresher meat!" - Ariana -
Very funny, Chelsea. Very funny.
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Sorry Ethan, she's off to find your replacement.
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Why aren't they holding hands? -
"Mmmm, tastes like undersea mating parties!" -
Look out, Ariana! Bowen's stealing the same man you stole from a wife with a kid!
—Puta Grande after getting (rightfully) slut shamed for her inability to keep her pussy to herself | ||
See also
External Links
Ariana Grande is part of the following series:
