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2020 Presidential Elections: Difference between revisions
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This article needs moar documentation of the 2020 USA Prez Elections drama, memes and candiadates! DO IT NOW. You can help by adding moar documentation of the 2020 USA Prez Elections drama, memes and candiadates! DO IT NOW. |
The 2020 American Presidential Election is the latest clownshow in the cycle of American politics. While Encyclopedia Dramatica used to have an article on this drama-filled presidential race, it got lost in the turnover from our old site (.se/.rs) and thusly this article has to be created from scratch.
After going through four years of businessman and internet troll Donald Trump as USA President, the American populace has been given a choice. President Donald Trump's tenure has seen an excessive amount of REEEE'ing and BAWWWing from the left-wing politicians and SJWs in America. ISIS has "been eliminated", but BLM and Antifa have taken to LARPing in the streets and massively chimping out about fake police brutality.
In the meantime, the fake news media, or Lugenpresse in some dialects, has massively colluded with commies and "The Resistance" to push their propaganda and try to oust USA Troll-In-Chief The Donald. The "outrage" resulted in a massive amount of Prez-wannabes in the 2020 Democratic candidate field, but only dementia awareness advocate and successful "Master of The Grope" Joe Biden came out on top as the Dems' "Chosen One". With a choice between law and order, or an authoritarianism based on "muh feelings", science denial and massive censorship, the American people were at a crossroads.
In the end of it all, due to various fuckery and mishaps, Sleepy Joe Biden "won" the 2020 election in the USA. In addition, the Senate and House flipped to Blue, and the leftist commie SJW agenda in the USA is now full-steam-ahead. Oh well; COPE, fam!
Candidates
These are the choices for America's future leader. Not too promising are they?
Republicans
- The Donald -
likely to win again, thusly pushing moar lulzy reactions from the mass media and leftists - Bill Weld - Literally Who?
Democrats
The Democrats started their 2020 campaign with over 20 different wannabe-candidates. We're listing a few here.
- Mayor Pete aka "Alfred E Neuman" - he dropped out once he realised that America had already had a first man one president ago
- Pocahontas aka Elizabeth Warren - dropped out, endorsed Gropey Joe Biden, after her drinking a beer on a livestream caused voters to become terrified that she would end up drunk on a reservation. She proved everyone wrong by proving she wasn't Native American which had the hilarious side effect of ending her campaign.
- Mike Bloomberg✡ - announced his candidacy too late in the game, spent tons of money, then suddenly dropped out. Conspiracy theorists think he was only running to steal the votes away from fellow jew Bernie Sanders.
- Andrew Yang - aka "Rich (Asian) Uncle Moneybags" and "Mack-Daddy Yang". Ran on a Universal Basic Income platform, started the "#YangGang", and then dropped out. Optics would have only got worse with everyone blaming China for biological warfare
- Tulsi Gabbard Secret Republican or Russian Asset depending on if you're right-wing or leftist - dropped out. Called out Hillary Clinton and insider politics, was poised to be a running mate with Bernie, but did the lolcow move of endorsing Biden instead.
- Bernie Sanders☭✡ - dropped out, sold out, endorsed Biden. Just like Biden they were working to promote diversity by getting two old white men to face the Republican old white man. Took thousands of small donations but realized he didn't have to return the shekels if he dropped out. NO REFUNDS LOL
This is the remaining Democrat candidate:
- Creepy Uncle Joe The "winner" of the democratic primary by way of attrition. The Democrats rallied the party behind him using a combination of threats, bribes, backstage politics, inhaling the scent from his voting bloc, and avoiding press appearances that expose his senility and corruption. The Democrats selected Biden after Bernie Sanders won California and large parts of the West, and looked to be the only viable candidate. Fortunately Bernie is a Jew and was unable to resist the DNC's cash, especially when packaged with his own suicide note in Hillary's handwriting.
Independents
- David Jon Sponheim - America's Third Party
- Howie Hawkins - probably the candidate for the Green Party, although the official candidate won't be chosen until July of 2020 at the 2020 Green National Convention.
- Ms. Jo Jorgenson - Libertarian Party candidate. Anarchist who won the nomination over Gary Johnson's clone because vagina
- Kanye West, with his self-founded political party "the Birthday Party". Yes, seriously.
- Here we go
Kamala Harris Selected by Biden as VP choice
In an attempt to create a ticket that appeals to exactly noone, Biden selected Kamala Harris (no relation to Eric Harris) to be his running mate. Kamala is a light skinned black/indian who looks pretty white, so she's a perfect choice to appeal to suburban white women who want to appear progressive by voting for a person of color but don't want to ruin the country by going too far and committing to Aunt Jemima.
Kamala is a former Prosecutor from San Francisco, a city where the streets are littered with used Needles and human feces and where the homeless situation is so severe, several city leaders are investigating a final solution to the Homeless Question.
After George Floyd died of an overdose in police custody in Minneapolis in May, Democrats began to reject law enforcement and accept the chaos of rioting and lawlessness. As such Kamala's former record as a prosecutor which included unreasonable actions such as locking up criminals didn't sit well with a lot of libtards. But don't fret because Kamala, like most politicians, easily flip flopped her position on cops. Going from law and order is good to Rape and Murder should be legal.
2020 Presidential Debates
As usual, once the two-party system had selected its candidates they had already started smack-talking each other in public forums. Such is Amerifat politics. The oven heat turned up to 100 though, once Biden (Democrat) and Trump (Republican) were on stage face-to-face with each other, and Fox News' Chris Wallace as debate "moderator". The first (and currently, likely only) 2020 USA Presidential debate was hotly anticipated by the American public. Once the first debate started, it quickly turned from a national clown-show into an internationally-mocked three-ring-circus: In one corner, Sleepy Joe Biden, in the other corner, failed ringmaster Chris Wallace, and the floorshow: President Donald Trump.
The "winner" of the first debate, thusly, was no one at all. (Unless you happen to be a Trumper, in which case you believe Trump "won" the debate). The debate ended with many a quote meme'd on as well.
Gallery
Aftermath
As mentioned at the end of this article's introduction (which your lazy ass probably didn't read) - JOE BIDEN WON SOMEHOW! In a butthurt (or completely warranted) act of retaliation, Trump immediately challenged the results by lube-launching At least 100 federal lolsuits, the majority of which were tossed aside by judges. January 6, 2021 saw Trump hold a rally in DC as a final effort to tempt his VP Mike Pence into gay-zapping-away Trump's loss via the Electoral College vote. Of course, the rest is history; This rally resulted in a failed BOOGALOO-style LARP invasion of the US Capitol Building by Antifa cosplayers and QAnon/CIA-op-brainwashed Trump supporters. In turn for the failed Capitol Building IRL raid, Trump got Stumped - being served with a second impeachment days before he was to leave office.
Legal proceedings have begun to investigate the use of fake ballots, because his voting bloc simply doesn't exist. Even if fraud is proven, China Joe will likely continue to sniff the panty girdles of his constituents for the remainder of his term.
See Also
| Featured article October 12 through October 14, 2020 | ||
| Preceded by QAnon |
2020 Presidential Elections | Succeeded by Skeleton |