2013 US Government Shutdown

On October 1st 2013 the Americunt government decided that it really didn't need to pay 800,000 people to sit on their asses and hang out in the IRC all day long, which is how everyone learned that anonymous is really nothing more than a government operation organized with the intent of putting anyone who holds a position of dissent in the Party Van. By the End of October 2nd every member of Congress who also spend their days OL looking for pr0n noticed and started complaining that a deal would never be reached on the US budget because they realized that they had just destroyed a long running op that ensured their own continued re-elections.

Reason

The Americunt congress is claiming that the shutdown happened as a result of some mythical government program called Obamacare, which would ensure that every schizoid fag with a disease would be able to see a doctor. Like anyone would actually want to do that. The Tea Party, a bunch of child whoring neo-conservatives who want to see every poor person who ever served in the military in the Jewnited States of Americunts die writhing in pain while living in the gutter holding a sign that reads "homeless vet, will work for food" have been blamed while the bleeding heart liberals have publicly taken the moral high ground while screaming "you will have no moar pr0n until you give the executive branch monies. LULZ!" behind the closed doors of the Oval Office

Congress laughs

As a result of some obscure law it was found that the members of congress get paid even when the government gets shut down while the feds don't get any money at all, which caused many members of congress to openly laugh about all of the secret files that teh pigs have been keeping on anyone who runs for public office (for extortion purposes) as Congress openly raided all federal law enforcement offices and hacked all files that teh pigs had on them.

BUSTED

1.) Oddly enough the feds managed to throw the person who supposedly ran the Silk Road in the party van while the Director of National Intelligence James Clapper was screaming that the shutdown is "extremely damaging" to US intelligence operations. Some argue that Mr. Clapper should just go back to making things that turn the electricity on or off at the sound of your cat knocking the bottle of alcohol over on your keyboard, and improving those things to the point that they only turn things on or off when you yell "fuck!. Others think he should go back to spreading the clap which he obviously got from Paris Hilton, whom he fucked while she was under age.

2.) As a result of Congress reading all of the NSA, CIA, FBI and DIA "training exercises" SEAL team 6 was sent to Somalia to capture a high ranking Al Qaeda/al shabaab operative who was supposedly friends with the terrorists the US government hired to bomb the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania in 1998. Seal team 6 had an epic fail and ran away.

3.) Congress also sent US delta forces after Abu Anas Al Libi who is also blamed for the 1998 attacks on the US embassies, and captured him in Libya. The Libyan Government is calling this a kidnapping as a result of the Jewnited States of Americunts not having an extradition treaty with Libya, and are demanding their citizen back, unharmed.

Conspiracy about to be uncovered?

Well thanks anyway, Consuela

[[BULLSHIT][NOT REALLY!]]

In an extremely strange coincidence, on October 9, 2013, a former cop with the same name as the man who was the acting director of the FBI a week before the September 11, 2001 (Thomas J. Pickard) [1] terrorist attacks was shot and killed outside a federal courthouse in Wheeling West Virginia for firing more than 20 rounds of ammo at the courthouse. Some argue that the man is the former acting director of the FBI who was killed as part of a cover up to prevent him from testifying to congress that 9/11 was, in fact, an inside job.

Good or Bad

The shutdown would be considered good except that it is blamed for the closure of the Silk Road, but since anonymous is now generally thought to be run by and is almost entirely comprised of U.S. Government employees it is expected to be up and running again as soon as the U.S. Government is re-funded therefore ensuring that everyone can get their drugs in a cheap and timely fashion by having the U.S. postal system deliver them to their house. Hence, the Silk Road will re-open (under new management) after congress gives the feds their allowances back therefore ensuring that U.S. Intelligence agents have enough bitcoins to continue to fund and run Al Qaeda and kill americunts for the lulz.

OMG WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

MOAR DEBT!

The U.S has until the 17th of October until it defaults which is expected to plunge the whole entire economy into another recession which will cause much butthurt and job losses. Whether or not Obama or congress will let up is anyone's guess but on the bright side the future looks good for all you people fresh out of high school or college looking for work. No seriously you're all fucked.

Proving once again the United Streaks of applepie is run by a bunch of fucktards who don't give a shit about YOU.You can find out how much money the U.S government shutdown is costing by visiting this link found here

TL;DR

To sum it up:

1. Silk Road closure so no more drugs for all you meth/crackheads.
2. U.S loses billions of dollars and plunges economy into another recession.
3. Hundreds of thousands of federal employees being sent home and government offices closing.
4. All over Obamacare and raising the governments billion dollar budget because who doesn't want free health care and more taxes?
5. The price of everything is going to go up and living will be much harder. This includes food, car insurance, home loans the works... so you're only going to get poorer.
6. It's all over something as retarded as raising government spending.

Gallery

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See also

• Democrat
• Government
• Republican

External links

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2013 US Government Shutdown is part of a series on Politics.

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