Private School

Humble Beginnings

Your average private school principle

At least 100 years ago, some genuinely concerned gentlemen thought it would be a grand idea to make education privatized since the state was clearly not doing it right. However, much to their misfortune, it wouldn't be long before some stupid fucks burrowed their way into the somewhat good system that these men had created. Among those who burrowed their way in and shat all over intelligence and higher education were the Catholic church, Rednecks, and Conservatives.

The private schools run by the groups mentioned previously usually push agendas on the students, tell them make believe stories and claim they are real, are dogmatic, and enforce "work ethic".

However some things should be noted that are positive about the private schools that aren't run by the groups mentioned earlier:
- Not as many idiots.
- Somewhat cleaner bathrooms....emphasis on somewhat.
- It gets shit done most of the time.
- Some professors and teachers are very intelligent despite the fact that they are paid next to nothing.

Religious Private Schools

Totally not gay

Religious private schools broadcast terms such as "Justice","belief in God", and "pursuing knowledge to serve the community". Many children or teens are often sent here by their parents to ensure that they are "raised correctly" and that someday their kids may be able to pay for their own retirement. Many parents will exclaim, "We gave them the choice!" but in reality they practically forced their children into the institution on the threat of completely throwing them out if they did not abide.

Often times, private catholic schools are segregated into boy and girl schools which by nature promotes homosexual behavior. Below entails a tragic real story of a chap who once attended an all boys catholic highschool:

	“	"I was in the guys' shower room after track practice one day and I was minding my own business. Suddenly, a group of 2 or 3 other players stripped off their shorts and underwear(their shirts were already off) and joined me. It was awkward but really there wasn't a lot of sexual tension...yet. Suddenly I felt a hand grab my ass and I jumped about 5 feet back in shock. I turned around to see two of my track mates with rock hard raging boners. I ran as quickly as I could out of the room and went to grab my clothes. On my way to my locker, several guys watched as I ran by...I had never felt more exposed. I dressed rapidly and made my way out to the parking lot. "	„
	—Your average experience in a locker room at an all catholic boys high school.

"Stretch them legs boys"

This sort of interaction amongst the male student population really gets the priests riled up about their little establishment. Commonly they stand feverishly near the football, or track fields watching as the boys run around shirtless. This makes them highly aroused and quite often they hold events in which, to show "school spirit", the students are "highly encouraged" to paint themselves in school colors and run around shirtless the entire evening of the first football game.

As for everyone else that walks by an all catholic guys school, simply ask them what they see when they walk or drive by in the afternoon hours during the school year. Your most likely answers will be:
- Kids running around on the campus premises shirtless and clustered together whistle practicing for track.
- A shirts vs. skins scrimmage for football.
- Clustered groups of shirtless underclass men playing Frisbee out on the field.

Don't believe me? Ask someone sometime if that's what they see when they pass an all-guys catholic highschool. Do it.

---

Commonly at these schools they also give out awards for no fucking reason other than to boost the ego of the students. Such awards entail "Perfect attendance", "No demerits evar" , and "Perfect Christian". Commonly this results in USI and many peers outside of the school view the students as arrogant and annoying.

With the Catholic education comes an endless amount of rules on how to use your body, how to be a perfect Catholic, learning about both the old and new testament (Let's be honest, 80% of the kids in those classes don't pay attention or give enough of a fuck to actually notice that God is a total dick) , and enrollment for priesthood is practically shoved down the throats of students as well as priestly cock.

Da Rules for catholic dating taken from the theology of the body text:

• She teases you (Dump her)
• Emotionally dependent on you (Dump her)
• Does dem drugs (Dump her)
• She's superficial (Dump her)
• She gossips (Dump her)
• She's unmotivated so you get away fast (Dump her)
• You can't see yourself marrying her (Dump her)
• The feeling you have to "fix" her (Dump her)
• Family and friends can't stand her (Dump her)

Note: This excludes practically every girl evar.

	“	"Real freedom is when our heart's are redeemed and our desires conform with God's desires."	„
	—This is the definition of freedom as described by a theology of the body teacher. Seriously motherfucker.

Private Schools (Secular)

Seems legit.

	“	"You ought to go to a [private] school sometime. Try it sometime...It's full of phonies, and all you do is study so that you can learn enough to be smart enough to be able to buy a goddamn Cadillac some day, and you have to keep making believe you give a damn if the football team loses"	„
	— Catcher in the Rye quote depicting what private schools are all about.

When you attend a non-religious private school they are mainly run by conservatives and are focused more on increasing profit, and minimizing education. Due to this, many times teachers that are not qualified seep into the education process and pollute the minds of the students with their immense amount of stupid. Not only this, but many times the teachers of private schools are often only parents who lost their real job and are now fucking around in their kid's school on a low-paying private school pension.

Strangely enough, the standardized tests of Private schools are not published and are often times hidden from the state. Along with this, private school students have also been known to drop out of college more often than public school kiddies. Not only are the kids not committed, but the school can close at anytime it wants without public hearing and grab all of the funds and run.

Another strange fact about private schools: They are mainly white and often exclude other races. Not only this but bullying in private schools is largely ignored which leads to more an heros which could supposedly be a positive for annihilating stupid fucks.

Your typical Private School teacher Don't hate because we rich. Such good wages! Previous Video | Next Video

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