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2012 Elections: Difference between revisions

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{{spoiler|[[Black Jesus|THE MAGIC NEGRO]] WON AGAIN}}[[File:Romney_girl_crying.jpg|center|500px]]
{{spoiler|[[Black Jesus|THE MAGIC NEGRO]] WON AGAIN}}[[File:Romney_girl_crying.jpg|center|500px]]
[[image:obamaandromneygay.jpg|thumb|The general elections in a nutshell.]]
[[image:obamaandromneygay.jpg|thumb|The 2012 elections in a nutshell.]]
[[Image:shitdouche.png|thumb|250px|[[South Park]] gets it right.]]
[[Image:shitdouche.png|thumb|250px|[[South Park]] gets it right.]]
Every <s>four</s> two years the race for the President of the United States begins. While each term limit lasts four years, after two years of being in office, Presidential policy is dictated by the needs of getting reelected, not governance. This practice was utilized to an extreme with a [[W|recent President]] who liked to set up [[Jews did WTC|false flag operations]], invade the [[Afghanistan|Middle]] [[Iraq|East]], and slaughter and rape babies as a means of gaining electoral support among [[fat]] [[White Devils|white]] [[Republican|Republicans]]. The [[Sheeple|majority of the American public]] know nothing about this, because self-censorship is forced upon [[old media|journalists]] that cover elections and wars in order to get access to campaigns and politicians, so any actual [[truth]] comes in a watered-down and bullshit-laced form. However, since [[we]] aren't a bunch of [[pussies]] when it comes to reporting the [[cake|delicious drama]], here is the loldown on the election leading to declaring who is [[warhammer|Emperor of Mankind]] for the next four years. <s>Will the next Emperor be a [[Nazi|Police State]] [[President Obama|Cosby]], [[Mitt Romney|a worker ant collecting riches and glory for the Mormon Empire]] [[Nazi|who also supports the Police State]], or [[Libertarian|Gary Johnson]] who has no chance of winning, but will likely pull a [[Ralph Nader]] in these elections.</s> [[2012_Elections#OBAMA_WINS_AGAIN|OBAMA WON]]. This is a timeline of the various events and trolling of the 2012 Elections. Please feel free to add [[Drama|any relevant events]] on this timeline.
[[Image:Omgtits.gif|thumb|250px| Tits will make this page less shitty!]]
 
Every <s>four</s> two years '''the race for the President of the United States''' begins. While each term in office lasts four years, after two years of being in office, Presidential policy is dictated by the needs of getting reelected, not of governance. This practice was utilized to an extreme with a [[W|recent President]] who liked to set up [[Jews did WTC|false flag operations]], invade the [[Afghanistan|Middle]] [[Iraq|East]], and slaughter and rape babies as a means of gaining electoral support among [[fat]] [[White Devils|white]] [[Republican|Republicans]]. The [[Sheeple|majority of the American public]] know nothing about this, because self-censorship is forced upon [[old media|journalists]] that cover elections and wars in order to get access to campaigns and politicians, so any actual [[truth]] comes in a watered-down and bullshit-laced form. However, since [[ED|we]] aren't a bunch of [[pussies]] when it comes to reporting the [[cake|delicious drama]], here is the loldown on the election leading to declaring who is [[warhammer|Emperor of Mankind]] for the next four years. <s>Will the next Emperor be a [[Nazi|Police State]] [[President Obama|Cosby]], [[Mitt Romney|a worker ant collecting riches and glory for the Mormon Empire]] [[Nazi|who also supports the Police State]], or [[Libertarian|Gary Johnson]] who has no chance of winning, but will likely pull a [[Ralph Nader]] in these elections.</s> [[2012_Elections#OBAMA_WINS_AGAIN|'''OBAMA WON''']]. This is a timeline of the various events and trolling of the '''2012 Elections'''. Please feel free to add [[Drama|any relevant events]] on this timeline.


== Republican Primaries ==
== Republican Primaries ==
===Steven Colbert trolls the Repubican Primaries with his SuperPAC Ads===


[[Steven Colbert]], being the awesome [[IRL troll]] that he is, set up his own SuperPAC funded by donations from his audience and used the money to make extremely lulzey pseudo-political ads and ran them in [[Iowa]] and [[South Carolina]], trolling many dumb [[Americans]].
===Steven Colbert trolls the Republican Primaries with his SuperPAC Ads===
 
[[Steven Colbert]], in an audacious act of [[IRL Trolling]], set up his own SuperPAC funded by donations from his audience. He used the money to make extremely lulzy pseudo-political ads which he ran in the swing-states [[Iowa]] and [[South Carolina]], successfully trolling many dumb [[Americans]].


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{{fv|councilvids|background-color: #COCOCO;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>Wu74_GksjII</youtube>|<youtube>tgelM-lkzhA</youtube>|<youtube>3UOGKO7tM34</youtube>|<youtube>rSLGt0-bHIA</youtube>}}
{{fv|councilvids|background-color: #COCOCO;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>Wu74_GksjII</youtube>|<youtube>tgelM-lkzhA</youtube>|<youtube>3UOGKO7tM34</youtube>|<youtube>rSLGt0-bHIA</youtube>}}
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*[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/420540/october-24-2012/nonstop-libya-gate-questions Steven Colbert] on [[Innocence of Muslims|Libya Gate]]


===Herman Cain===
===Herman Cain===
{{main|Herman Cain}}
{{main|Herman Cain}}
[[Image:hermancainderp.jpg|thumb|250px|MY HEAD IS FULL OF DERP]]
[[Image:hermancainderp.jpg|thumb|250px|MY HEAD IS FULL OF DERP]]
'''Herman Cain''' is one of the greatest political trolls to ever exist and trolled the Republican Primaries on a scale never before seen. Besides being a serial rapist, pervert, and a [[nigger]] (It's well-known that all Republicans hate niggers), Herman Cain decided to lulz it up with numerous other wacky antics. His famous tax plan that he based his whole campaign on was called "9-9-9", and was both incredibly stupid, and 666 upside down, proving that Cain [[HAIL SATAN EVERYDAY|hails Satan everyday]]. This obvious troll was never mentioned by any [[old media|mainstream media]] sources; one can speculate [[Political Correctness|why this was never mentioned]]. Cain also provided extremely lulzy answers when asked about foreign policy, taking pride in [[ignorance]] and actually sounding pretty similar to [[W]], as shown in the two videos below:
 
'''Herman Cain''' is one of the greatest political trolls to ever exist and trolled the Republican Primaries on a scale never before seen. Besides being a serial rapist, pervert, and a [[nigger]] (It's well-known that all Republicans hate niggers), Herman Cain decided to lulz it up even further with numerous other wacky antics. His famous tax plan he based his whole campaign on, called "9-9-9", was both incredibly stupid, and 666 is "999" upside down, also proving that Cain [[HAIL SATAN EVERYDAY|hails Satan everyday]]. This obvious troll was never seriously analyzed by any [[Old Media|mainstream media]] sources; one can speculate [[Political Correctness|why this was never mentioned]]. Cain also said that [[homosexuality]] is a choice, because, according to him, lots of normal people randomly wake up one day and decide they want to take it [[in the ass]]. Cain also provided extremely lulzy answers when asked about foreign policy, taking pride in his [[ignorance]] of the rest of the world and actually sounding even more ignorant than [[W]], as shown in the two videos below:


{{frame|{{fv|cainforeignpolicy|background-color: grey;|font-weight: bold;
{{frame|{{fv|cainforeignpolicy|background-color: grey;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>WW_nDFKAmCo</youtube> <br>
|<youtube>WW_nDFKAmCo</youtube> <br>
|<youtube>zmkvtfEEFT0I</youtube> <br>  
|<youtube>zmkvtfEEFT0</youtube> <br>  
}}}}
}}}}


Cain also said that [[homosexuality]] is a choice, because people randomly wake up one day and decide they want it [[in the ass]]. Cain was eventually forced to drop out of the race after all the white [[women]] he raped came out and spilled the beans to the [[Old Media|mainstream media]], causing a massive [[drama]] storm.  
Cain was eventually forced to drop out of the race after all the white [[women]] he raped years before came out and spilled the beans to the [[Old Media|mainstream media]], causing a massive [[drama]] storm.  


[[Dramacrats|Experts]] believe that Herman Cain, while being incredibly evil and stupid, is not the anti-Christ. Logic points out that "why would [[Satan]] manifest as a [[typical|dumb]] [[nigger]] when he could manifest as the [[Nazi|Police State]] [[President Obama|Cosby]]?" Unless [[Satan]] has been [[China|outsourcing]] his evil, the only explanation is that Herman Cain is just a [[Typical|dumb]] [[nigger]] who happened to figure out how to troll incredibly stupid [[White Devils|white people]].
Due to Cain's serious addiction to raping white wimmins, and his "666" tax plan, many rumors of Cain being [[Satan|the devil himself]] circulated.[[Dramacrats|Experts]] believe that Herman Cain, while being incredibly evil and stupid, is not the anti-Christ. Logic points out that "why would [[Satan]] manifest as a [[typical|dumb]] [[nigger]] when he could manifest as the [[Nazi|Police State]] [[President Obama|Cosby]]?" Unless [[Satan]] has been [[China|outsourcing]] his evil, the only explanation is that Herman Cain is just a [[Typical|dumb]] [[nigger]] who happened to figure out how to troll even stupider [[White Devils|white people]].


===Ron Paul gets fucked over===
===Ron Paul gets fucked over by his own party===
[[Image:paultotallydude.jpg|thumb|250px|How [[retard|Paultards]] view their hero.]]
[[Image:paultotallydude.jpg|thumb|250px|How [[retard|Paultards]] view their hero.]]
When the election was still full of trolls like [[Nigger|Herman Cain]], [[Batshit Insane|Newt Gingrich]], and [[Rick Santorum]], there were a few candidates running on the Republican Party ticket who were actually of some quality. Those two candidates were [[no one|Jon Huntsman]] (who would have [[pwn|raped]] President Obama in the general elections) and [[Ron Paul]]. The Republican Party was scared of [[Ron Paul]] and [[No one|Jon Huntsman]], as they wouldn't dance when asked, [[IRL Troll|decided to lulz it up]]. First, using their [[old media|propaganda machine]], Ron Paul is cut off whenever he is making a point, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tbNBnBe2SI whether it is about media mistreatment and under representation] or [http://youtu.be/8Z-AS0vti5c when soldiers tell the truth about foreign policy]. [[Democracy|The second tactic used by the Republican Party was rigging their own internal primary votes]]. What makes this incredibly [[lulzy]] is that this isn't illegal. With the Republican Party being a private organization, they can do [[bukkake|whatever they want]] to their own [[sheeple|party members]] and get away with it. This [[IRL Troll|completely legal maneuver]] resulted in many individuals to suffer from traumatic [[butthurt]].
Since the election was still full of trolls and outright retards like [[Herman Cain]], [[Newt Gingrich]], and [[Rick Santorum]], there were a few candidates running on the Republican Party ticket who were actually of some quality, at least by [[Republican]] standards. Those two candidates were [[no one|Jon Huntsman]] (who would have [[pwn|raped]] President Obama in the general elections if he had made it past NH) and [[Ron Paul]]. Paul managed to rally a large support base for his campaign, made up of [[batshit insane]] teenagers and college students, who worshiped and fellated Paul like he was a God. His fanbase also viciously flamed and h4xed anyone who said anything critical of their  messiah.
 
The Republican Party was scared of [[Ron Paul]] and [[No one|Jon Huntsman]], as they wouldn't dance when asked and had their own independent views. So, the mainstream Republicans lulzed it up. First, using their [[Old Media|propaganda machine]], Ron Paul was cut off whenever he was making a point in an interview or debate,, [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tbNBnBe2SI whether it is about media mistreatment and under representation] or [http://youtu.be/8Z-AS0vti5c when soldiers tell the truth about foreign policy]. [[Democracy|The second tactic used by the Republican Party was rigging their own internal primary votes]]. What makes this incredibly [[lulzy]] is that doing this is perfectly legal. With the Republican Party being a private organization, they can do [[bukkake|whatever they want]] to their own [[sheeple|party members]] and get away with it. This [[IRL Troll|completely legal maneuver]] resulted in many individuals to suffer from chronic [[butthurt]].


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<youtube>5RU24M72TtM</youtube>
<youtube>5RU24M72TtM</youtube>
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===Republican National Convention===
===Republican National Convention===
====Racism at the Republican National Convention====
====Racism at the Republican National Convention====
Conservative southerners being [[racist]] is not news, unless it is conservative southerns being racist on the opening day of the Republican National Convention, a place packed with liberal media news organizations who would love to find another example of Republicans being racist to further bribe the black votes for the Democrats. Two RNC attendees threw peanuts at a [[Negress|black female]] cameraman and yelled “This is how we feed animals". Here at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] while [[Lie|we discourage violent acts against minorities]], we support the general message of "[[Nigger manual|this is how we feed animals]]," especially with a particular [[Black Jesus|African-American]]. This story would have been a minor event in the 2012 election news cycle because [[no one]] really gives a shit about a black camera woman having peanuts thrown at her, but the liberal media jumped right on it and bawwed for days on end about it. The greatest [[irony]] of this event, is that these same chanting [[rednecks]] voted for a [[Mexico|half-Mexican]] over a [[Obama|half-Nigger]] in November, despite both being filthy minorities.
Conservative southerners being [[racist]] is not news, unless it is conservative southerns being racist on the opening day of the Republican National Convention, a place packed with liberal media news organizations. The liberal media purposely goes out of their way to find examples of Republicans being racist to further bribe the black vote for the Democrats.
 
At the RNC, two attendees threw peanuts at a [[Negress|black female]] camerawoman and yelled “This is how we feed animals". The attendees were then kicked out of the convention. Here at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]], while [[Lie|we discourage violent acts against minorities]], we support the general message of "[[Nigger manual|this is how we feed animals]]," especially with a particular [[Black Jesus|African-American]]. This story would have been a minor event in the 2012 election news cycle because [[no one]] really gives a shit about a black camera woman having peanuts thrown at her, but the liberal media jumped right on it and bawwed for days on end about it. The greatest [[irony]] of this event, is that these same chanting [[rednecks]] voted for a [[Mitt Romney|Mormon half-Mexican]] instead of a [[Barack Obama|half-Nigger]] in November, despite both being filthy minorities.




====Clint Eastwood is a senile old man who trolled the RNC====
====Clint Eastwood is a senile old man who trolled the RNC====
If you notice the choice of Clint's words, they are vague enough to be describing not simply Obama, but Romney and Ryan as well. Clint's rambling, improvised "speech" includes debating with a chair and other lulzy acts. Watch it below:
Clint Eastwood, a washed up [[batshit]] actor, was promoted by the Republicans as one of the primary and most important speakers of the event, due to his fame and influence on <s>borderline</s>-retarded Americans. What he ended up doing when he got up to speak was both unexpected and lulzy.
 
Clint's rambling, improvised "speech" includes debating with a chair and other lulzy acts. If you notice the choice of Clint's words, they are vague enough to where they could be describing not simply Obama, but Romney and Ryan as well. Watch it below:


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====Ron Paul Supporters have a fit at the RNC====
====Ron Paul supporters have a bitchfit at the RNC====
As mentioned earlier in the article, Ron Paul supporters are really pissed at the [[GOP]] because of their success with [[troll|rigging]] [[Democracy|their primary elections]]. Incidents such as yelling [[Rage|"Fuck you Tyrants"]] and the defrauded Maine delegates leaving the convention en masse, were the only lulzy highlights. The [[Libertarian]] rift in the [[Republican Party]] grew much larger because of this, and had absolutely no implications in Romney's re-election.  
As it was mentioned earlier in the article, Ron Paul supporters are really pissed at the [[GOP]] because of their success with [[troll|rigging]] [[Democracy|their primary elections]]. The problem was magnified during the RNC, when the speakers would not even read off the delegates for Ron Paul in the selection process. Incidents such as Paultards yelling [[Rage|"Fuck you Tyrants"]] and the defrauded Maine delegates leaving the convention en masse, were the only lulzy highlights. The [[Libertarian]] rift in the [[Republican Party]] grew much larger because of this, and had absolutely no implications in anybodies re-election, as [[Truth|nobody gives a shit about the Libertarians]].  
 


====Romney picks his VP Candidate as Paul Ryan====
====Romney picks his VP Candidate as Paul Ryan====
Or at least that's what everyone thinks. Romney's VP was actually selected by [[Karl Rove]] and the [[Jews|Jewish]] forces that control the US government. So when Romney pretended that it was his decision to choose his Vice Presidential choice and made his official announcement, he made this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzy8gHubmgo gaffe]. Given the running rate of how much it costs to fake one's own death in this [[economy]] ($1 million), Romney could easily fake his own death and retire and the American people would be none the wiser. [[Paul Ryan]], while claiming to be a raging [[Christfag]] and [[Republican]], is actually a [[Ayn Rand]] [[Randroid|fanboy]] and doesn't care about [[Old|old people]], [[Nigger|niggers]], or anyone else but himself and his Jewish financial overlords. His Medicare plan (that is, to destroy it) is extremely unpopular with seniors, yet seniors voted for him and the rest of the Republicans anyway.
Or at least that's what everyone thinks happened. In reality, Romney's VP was selected by [[Karl Rove]] and the [[Jews|Jewish]] forces that control the US government and all elections. So when Romney pretended that it was his decision to choose his Vice Presidential running-mate and made his official announcement, he made this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzy8gHubmgo little gaffe]. Given the running rate of how much it costs to fake one's own death in this [[economy]] ($1 million), Romney could easily fake his own death and retire and the American people would be none the wiser. [[Paul Ryan]], while claiming to be a raging [[Christfag]] and [[Republican]], is actually a [[Ayn Rand]] [[Randroid|fanboy]] and doesn't give two shits about [[Old|old people]], [[Nigger|niggers]], or anyone else but himself and his Jewish financial overlords. His Medicare plan (that is, to destroy it) is extremely unpopular with seniors, yet seniors voted for him and the rest of the Republicans, because they'd rather die with no medical care than vote a [[Barack Obama|nigger]] into the "White" House.  


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==[[Broadside]]==
==General Election==
[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] decides to participate in the [[lulz|fun]] of hosting leaks for [[Anonymous|Project Mayhem]] [[IRL Troll|to change the discussion of the 2012 elections]].
 
===Broadside===
{{main|Broadside}}
[[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] decided to participate in the [[lulz|fun]] of hosting leaks for [[Anonymous|Project Mayhem]] in order [[IRL Troll|to change the discussion of the 2012 elections]].


==Obama's Hemp Gate==
===Reporting live from [[Bahrain]]===
[[EDiots]] have infiltrated [[Bahrain]] and are reporting from within, which happens to be the greatest human rights scandal the [[United States]] and the rest of the [[Europe|West]] has currently embroiled itself in. You will not hear about [[Bahrain]] at all this election because [[Iran]] is a bigger issue, thus it is in the [[Zionists]]' interests not to give nationalist Bahraini revolutionaries their own sovereignty as they would no longer serve [[Israel]] or [[Saudi Arabia|Wahhabist]] interests.
 
===Obama's Hemp Gate===
[[Image:obamahippie.jpg|thumb|200px|]]
[[Image:obamahippie.jpg|thumb|200px|]]
{{squote|While America's economy is suffering staggering losses in jobs and debt, the Obama administration is creating jobs for Chinese workers by selling hemp scarves on its website -- even while industrialized hemp remains illegal for U.S. farmers to grow.|Obama's hypocrisy and alliance with [[The Man]] revealed yet again.}} [http://www.naturalnews.com/036696_Barack_Obama_industrial_hemp_farmers.html Sauce]
{{squote|While America's economy is suffering staggering losses in jobs and debt, the Obama administration is creating jobs for Chinese workers by selling hemp scarves on its website -- even while industrialized hemp remains illegal for U.S. farmers to grow.|Obama's hypocrisy and alliance with [[The Man]] revealed yet again. Ironically, Obama smoked lots of [[weed]] while he was in college in <s>Hawaii</s> Kenya.}} [http://www.naturalnews.com/036696_Barack_Obama_industrial_hemp_farmers.html Sauce]
 
===Republicans and Democrats attempt to make the election a two-party race===
After the [[Republican Party]]'s ''[[Todd Akin|legitimate]]'' [[rape]] of [[Ron Paul]] which was [[Lulz|tolerated]] by the Democrats because if [[Ron Paul]] won the GOP primaries, [[Obama]] would not beat [[Ron Paul]] in the general elections. [[Just as planned|Things were going as planned]], until Gary Johnson, the former Republican Governor of [[Nevada]] and an independent [[Libertarian]] presidential candidate started doing well in the [http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/07/24/why-gary-johnson-could-cost-obama-or-romney-win-in-2012/ polls].
 
This scared the shit out of the [[Republican Party]] and they decided to try the [[Bukkake|same tactics]] they used to pwn [[Ron Paul]]. But unlike [[Faggot|senile Grandpa Paul]], Gary Johnson fought back and managed to get onto the ballets in [[Pennsylvania|key]] [[Michigan|swing]] [[Ohio|states]], despite the [[trolling|antics]] of [[Republican]] [[Jews|Lawyers]] and their corporate masters.


==Rape Gate 2012: Akin to be raped==
===Rape Gate 2012: Akin to be raped===
Until this, this election year was going to be a close, but [[boring]] one. Due to the fact the [[GOP|other guys are assholes]] and [[NORPS|the masses]] will always stomach a [[Black Jesus|Muslim Atheist nigger Kenyan communist]] over an [[Mitt Romney|asshole]]. [[Drama bomb|Then this shit]] happened.
Until this, this election year was going to be a close, but [[boring]] one. Due to the fact the [[GOP|other guys are assholes]] and [[NORPS|the masses]] will always stomach a [[Black Jesus|Muslim Atheist nigger Kenyan communist]] over an [[Mitt Romney|asshole]]. [[Drama bomb|Then this shit]] happened.


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Election-wise this means that instead of all the [[Hemp|issues]] [[Japan Crisis of 2011|that]] [[Economy|truly]] [[Global Warming|matter]] this election won't be focused on, the deciding single voter issue turns out that it is going to be [[Feminism|women's rights]] [[Le sigh|again]]. The politics of the [[Republicans|Right]] has become [[anti-lulz|trite]] as it has been literally destroying America. This stubborn insistence to [[Flame War|fight old battles]] and [[Bawwwww|continue having a temper tantrum]] is symptomatic of numerous [[Asperger's Syndrome|psychological conditions]] that appears to be [[Cancer|rampant]] throughout [[Conservative|Conservatives]].  
Election-wise this means that instead of all the [[Hemp|issues]] [[Japan Crisis of 2011|that]] [[Economy|truly]] [[Global Warming|matter]] this election won't be focused on, the deciding single voter issue turns out that it is going to be [[Feminism|women's rights]] [[Le sigh|again]]. The politics of the [[Republicans|Right]] has become [[anti-lulz|trite]] as it has been literally destroying America. This stubborn insistence to [[Flame War|fight old battles]] and [[Bawwwww|continue having a temper tantrum]] is symptomatic of numerous [[Asperger's Syndrome|psychological conditions]] that appears to be [[Cancer|rampant]] throughout [[Conservative|Conservatives]].  


While Republicans were reeling and desperately trying to defend themselves from Akin's comments (even though he does represent ALL Republican's actual views, just not in the closet), another Republican politician enlightened the public about [[rape]]. Mr. Richard Mourdock (Unfortunately no correlation to [[Rupert Murdoch]] of [[FOX News]])  of the [[Gay|great]] state of [[Indiana]] informed the public that there is nothing wrong with rape, as [[God]] always intends it, and that it is merely another form of making babies. Even though it is 100% true, this remark caused massive bawwing from both Liberals and Conservatives and proved two things:  
While Republicans were reeling and desperately trying to defend themselves from Akin's comments (even though he does represent ALL Republican's actual views), another Republican politician enlightened the public about [[rape]]. Mr. '''Richard Mourdock''' (Unfortunately no correlation to [[Rupert Murdoch]] of [[FOX News]])  of the [[Gay|great]] state of [[Indiana]] informed the public in an interview that there is nothing wrong with rape, as [[God]] always intends it, and that it is merely another form of making babies. Even though what Murdoch said is 100% true, this remark caused massive bawwing from both Liberals and Conservatives and proved two things:  


: 1) The [[Christians]] [[ironic|are more backwards]] when it comes to [[Feminism|women's rights]] than actual [[Islam|Sharia Law]].  
: '''1)''' The [[Christians]] [[ironic|are more backwards]] when it comes to [[Feminism|women's rights]] than actual [[Islam|Sharia Law]].  
: 2) [[Christian]] [[women]] are always [[Asking for it|asking for]] [[Rape|it]].
: '''2)''' [[Christian]] [[women]] are always [[Asking for it|asking for]] [[Rape|it]].


==Reporting live from [[Bahrain]]==
===The rumors of the hacking of Romney's Tax Returns===
[[EDiots]] have infiltrated the country and are reporting from within [[Bahrain]] which happens to be the greatest human rights scandal the [[United States]] and the rest of the [[Europe|West]] is currently embroiled itself in. You will not hear about [[Bahrain]] at all this election because [[Iran]] is a bigger issue, thus it is in the [[Zionists]]' interests not to give nationalist Bahraini revolutionaries their own sovereignty as they would no longer serve [[Israel]] or [[Saudi Arabia|Wahhabist]] interests.
<s>If this is [[Todd Akin|legitimate]] [[blackmail]] and it turns out that [[Mitt Romney]] is a [[Jew|secret billionaire]], [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] encourages this hacker to [[profit|accept bitcoin]] and then [[wikileaks|release]] the tax files [[IDIFTL|regardless]].</s> The leaking of Romney's tax returns was a false rumor and never happened.  


==Republicans are attempting to make this a two party race only==
===More Libertarian faggotry: Gary Johnson talks about an inevitable Global Economic Collapse===
After the [[Republican Party]]'s ''[[Todd Akin|legitimate]]'' [[rape]] of [[Ron Paul]] which was [[Lulz|tolerated]] by the Democrats given that [[Obama]] would not beat [[Ron Paul]] in 2012 [[Just as planned|things were going as planned]], until a former Republican Governor and independent Libertarian Presidential Candidate Gary Johnson, started doing well in the [http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/07/24/why-gary-johnson-could-cost-obama-or-romney-win-in-2012/ polls]. This scared the [[Republican Party]] and decided to try the [[Bukkake|same tactics]] they did to their own party against [http://www.garyjohnson2012.com/gop-accused-of-attempting-to-keep-gov-gary-johnson-off-ballots Gary Johnson]. Unlike [[Faggot|Ron Paul]], Gary Johnson [http://www.examiner.com/article/gary-johnson-continues-to-beat-republican-challenges-to-the-ballot fought back] and managed to get onto ballets in [[Pennsylvania|key]] [[Michigan| swing]] [[Ohio|states]] despite the [[trolling|antics]] of [[Republican]] [[Jews|Lawyers]].
[[Image:donttaseme.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Libertarians]] actually think they're gonna [[LOL|save America from armageddon]].]]
This isn't a [[conspiracy theory]] when the strongest third party Presidential candidate in an election starts talking about how the [[President Obama|status]] [[Mitt Romney|quo]] will lead to an economic collapse. That collapse, according to Gary Johnson, will happen due to any one of these triggers:


==[http://nashvillecitypaper.com/content/city-news/anonymous-group-allegedly-hacked-romney-tax-records-franklin-firm The hacking of Romney's Tax Returns]==
*The [[United States]] [[Bailout Plan|defaults]] like [[Greece]] (cause [[China|no one]] wants to buy a currency tied to 16 trillion dollars in debt), the dollar collapses due to its [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiat_money worthlessness], panic ensues, there is a police crackdown that turns the USA into a [[police state]] lead by [[Mitt Romney|either]] [[President Obama|king]].
If this is [[Todd Akin|legitimate]] [[blackmail]] and it turns out that [[Mitt Romney]] is a [[Jew|secret billionaire]], [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] encourages this hacker to [[profit|accept bitcoin]] and then [[wikileaks|release]] the tax files [[IDIFTL|regardless]].


==Gary Johnson talks about an inevitable Global Economic Collapse==
*[[Fukushima2012|Reactor 4 of Fukushima self-pwns]], the world economy collapses due to all of the filthy evacuating Japan due to radioactive fallout, then dollar collapses, panic ensues, there is police crackdown that turns the USA into a [[police state]] lead by [[Mitt Romney|either]] [[President Obama|king]].
[[Image:donttaseme.jpg|thumb|250px|[[Libertarians]] actually think they're gonna [[LOL|save America from armageddon]].]]
This isn't a [[conspiracy theory]] when the strongest third party Presidential candidate in an election starts talking about how the [[President Obama|status]] [[Mitt Romney|quo]] will lead to economic collapse. Which will happen due to any one of these triggers:
*The [[United States]] [[bailout plan|defaults]] like [[Greece]] (cause [[China|no one]] wants to buy a currency tied to 16 trillion dollars in debt), the dollar collapses due to its [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiat_money worthlessness], panic ensues, police crackdown that turns into a [[police state]] lead by [[Mitt Romney|either]] [[President Obama|king]].
*The [http://thediplomat.com/2012/09/10/are-chinese-banks-hiding-the-mother-of-all-debt-bombs/ Chinese housing bubble bursts], world economy falls further, the dollar collapses, panic ensues, police crackdown that turns into a [[police state]] lead by [[Mitt Romney|either]] [[President Obama|king]].
*[[Fukushima2012|Reactor 4 of Fukushima falls down or blows up or whatever]], world economy collapses due to at the very least all of Japan will have to be evacuated due to radioactive fallout, dollar collapses, panic ensues, police crackdown that turns into a [[police state]] lead by [[Mitt Romney|either]] [[President Obama|king]].


Anything that can impact the already struggling world economy such as: [http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2012/08/food-scarcity-drought-global-crisis food] [http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2012/08/201282114048913295.html prices] [http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2012/08/20128218556871733.html rising], fluxes for [http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/380980/20120905/saudi-arabia-oil-production-running-out-citigroup.htm whatever reason] in oil prices, the collapse of the EU, or [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He_PWsJqsVY Space Nazis invading]. [[Anti-lulz|The point is things are sketch]] and once again, [[Mitt Romney|mainstream]] [[President Obama|politicians]] and [[Old Media|corporate media]] are not discussing the real issues this election.
So, the theories are more of the same paranoid [[Libertarian]] horror stories, already said [[OVER 9000]] times by the likes of [[Ron Paul]] and [[Alex Jones]].


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==Obama decides not to meet with the [[Israel|Jewish Overlords]]==
===Obama decides not to meet with his [[Israel|Jewish Overlords]]===
[[Image:obamajew2.jpg|thumb|250px|Barack Obama: First [[jew|jewish]] president]]
[[Image:obamajew2.jpg|thumb|250px|Barack Obama: First [[Jews|jewish]] president?]]
In this election, [[Neocon|Newt Gingrich]] and [[Mitt Romney]] have argued that Obama has been anything less than a [[White Knight|toadie]] for [[Israel|America's Jewish Overlords]], when in fact Obama has been one of the most pro-Israeli President America [http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/05/opinion/the-truth-about-obama-and-israel.html ever]. President Obama was supposed to personally meet Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu, [http://youtu.be/iHEh2UzxO68 who no one likes], some time this month, because of complications, the meeting got cancelled. Instead of people realizing that the President of the United States has a [[Serious Business|busy schedule]], [[Jews|some]] [[Republicans|people]] got [[butthurt|uppity]] about this perceived slight. The drama coming from the [[Neocon|conservative camp]] is incredibly unfounded, as pro-[[Zionists]] like California Senator [[Jew|Barbara Boxer]] who came to [http://www.haaretz.com/news/u-s-elections-2012/u-s-lawmaker-lashes-out-at-netanyahu-for-attacking-obama-on-israel.premium-1.464591 Obama's defense].
In this election, [[Neocon|Newt Gingrich]] and [[Mitt Romney]] have argued that Obama has been anything less than a [[White Knight|toadie]] for [[Israel|America's Jewish Overlords]], when in fact Obama has been one of the most pro-Israeli President evar. President Obama was supposed to personally meet Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu, [http://youtu.be/iHEh2UzxO68 who no one likes], some time in October 2012, but because of complications, the meeting got cancelled. Instead of people realizing that the President of the United States has a [[Serious Business|busy schedule]], [[Jews|some]] [[Republicans|people]] got [[butthurt|uppity]] about this perceived slight. The drama coming from the [[Neocon|conservative camp]] was incredibly unfounded, as pro-[[Zionists]] like California Senator [[Jew|Barbara Boxer]] came to Obama's defense.  


In terms of elections, Obama's move isn't politically smart given that anything that might be misconstrued as even slightly anti-Israeli in an election year will result in [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Israel_Public_Affairs_Committee AIPAC] clusterfucking that specific race with [[Unlimited disposable income|campaign contributions]] to the opponent of whoever doesn't support the [[ZOG]]. In American politics: without Jews, you lose.
In terms of elections, Obama's move wasn't politically smart given that anything that might be misconstrued as even slightly anti-Israeli in an election year would have resulted in a shit-ton of [[Jew Gold|campaign contributions]] to the opponent of whoever supportd the [[ZOG]] less than the other. To make up for this, Obama gave Israel even moar money, plus moar free military equipment. In American politics: without Jews, you lose.


==Six percent of people in Ohio are stupid==
===Six percent of people in Ohio are stupid===
[http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2011/PPP_Release_OH_9912.pdf Go to page 3, question 15] for a facepalm. This is what happens when you have a [[Democracy|political establishment that caters to the lowest common denominator]], these kind of people get to vote and shape our nation's destiny. This six percent is enough to make or break elections in swing states like Ohio, as was demonstrated in 2000 in Florida.
[http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2011/PPP_Release_OH_9912.pdf Go to page 3, question 15] for a facepalm. This is what happens when you have a [[Democracy|political establishment that caters to the lowest common denominator]], these kind of people get to vote and shape our nation's destiny. This six percent is enough to make or break elections in swing states like Ohio, as was demonstrated in 2000 in Florida.


==Mitt Romney still doesn't get Foreign Policy==
===Mitt Romney still doesn't get Foreign Policy===
Mitt Romney has focused on making the election on the economy (despite he knows dick about economic matters) while Obama has made it about foreign policy as their respective tactics to win this election. This stragety has slowly started to focus on foreign policy because Romney is [[retard|prone to mistakes]] on [http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19008923 these] [http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/31/us/politics/romney-angers-palestinians-with-comments-in-israel.html?pagewanted=all matters]. Romney went out of his way again to fuck up and say stupid shit in the middle of a crisis, not after it was over. Showing once again, Romney is willing to play politics over governance any day of the week.
Mitt Romney has focused on making the election on the economy (despite he knows dick about economic matters) while Obama has made it about foreign policy as their respective tactics to win this election. This stragety has slowly started to focus on foreign policy because Romney is [[retard|prone to mistakes]] on [http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-19008923 these] [http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/31/us/politics/romney-angers-palestinians-with-comments-in-israel.html?pagewanted=all matters]. Romney went out of his way again to fuck up and say stupid shit in the middle of a crisis, not after it was over. Showing once again, Romney is willing to play politics over governance any day of the week.


<center>{{frame|<youtube>S6eV1Um04v0</youtube><br>|border=black|background=grey}}</center>
<center>{{frame|<youtube>S6eV1Um04v0</youtube><br>|border=black|background=grey}}</center>


==Mitt Romney's speech for [[The Man|rich white men]] gets recorded and leaked==
===Mitt Romney's speech for [[The Man|rich white men]] gets recorded and leaked===
[[image:Republican_stronghold_states_don%27t_pay_income_taxes.jpg|thumb|And then the [[Republicans]] were the [[Ayn Rand|looters]].]]
[[image:Republican_stronghold_states_don%27t_pay_income_taxes.jpg|thumb|And then the [[Republicans]] were the [[Ayn Rand|looters]].]]


Mitt Romney did a classic mistake that all soon to be ruined politicians do: he spoke the [[truth]] and it was recorded. These video leaks demonstrate several things:  
Mitt Romney did a classic mistake that all soon to be ruined politicians do: he spoke the [[truth]] and it was recorded. These video leaks demonstrate several things:  
* That while Romney doesn't pay income taxes, he doesn't consider himself in that [[99%|<s>48%</s> <s>49%</s> huge number]] of Americans who don't pay income taxes because he isn't from the [[poor|underclass]] or [[liberals|people]] who'd [[democracy|vote]] for Obama regardless. After ignoring the fact [[ironic|that states which are expected to vote for him this election constitute a large percentage of the population Romney was talking]] [http://www.truth-out.org/buzzflash/commentary/item/17515-romney-decries-his-red-state-southern-base-as-lazy-moochers-the-47 about], Romney masterfully pulls out the "Obama is for [[socialism|entitlements for the poor]]" [[Race Card|card]] as he glosses over the fact that his tax policy is the same thing, but [[socialism|entitlements]] for the rich. Somehow, Romney has [[lying|managed to convince]] [[sheeple|people]] that [[Rape|his tax regime]] is anything but [http://library.thinkquest.org/C006257/revolution/the_estates.shtml this].
* That while Romney doesn't pay income taxes, he doesn't consider himself in that [[99%|<s>48%</s> <s>49%</s> huge number]] of Americans who don't pay income taxes because he isn't from the [[poor|underclass]] or [[liberals|people]] who'd [[democracy|vote]] for Obama regardless. After ignoring the fact [[ironic|that states which are expected to vote for him this election constitute a large percentage of the population Romney was talking]] [http://www.truth-out.org/buzzflash/commentary/item/17515-romney-decries-his-red-state-southern-base-as-lazy-moochers-the-47 about], Romney masterfully pulls out the "Obama is for [[socialism|entitlements for the poor]]" [[Race Card|card]] as he glosses over the fact that his tax policy is the same thing, but [[socialism|entitlements]] for the rich. Somehow, Romney has [[lying|managed to convince]] [[sheeple|people]] that [[Rape|his tax regime]] is anything but [http://library.thinkquest.org/C006257/revolution/the_estates.shtml this].
* Romney believes he can convince rich (presumably educated and informed) [[Jews|campaign contributors]] that he will get moderate independents, who tend to be more informed than [[sheeple|voters who classically are Democrat or Republican]], to vote for a [[neocon|warmongering member]] of the [[The Man|global elite]] who [[Democracy|committed rampant election fraud]] against [[Ron Paul]].
* Romney believes he can convince rich (presumably educated and informed) [[Jews|campaign contributors]] that he will get moderate independents, who tend to be more informed than [[sheeple|voters who classically are Democrat or Republican]], to vote for a [[neocon|warmongering member]] of the [[The Man|global elite]] who [[Democracy|committed rampant election fraud]] against [[Ron Paul]].
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==Mitt Romney dyes his skin to look more [http://gawker.com/5944931/mitt-romney-dyed-his-face-brown-to-appeal-to-latino-voters latino]==
===Mitt Romney dyes his skin to look more {{archive|VKyRs|latino}}===
But in all seriousness he doesn't look like a [[Mexican|Hispanic]], but rather a dirty [[Guido]]. Politics aside, would you want your Commander-in-Chief someone who'd use [[Blackface|"Brownface"]] to appeal to [[Mexicans|minority voters]]? Rhetorical question [[nigger]][[faggot]]! The answer is [[No]].
But in all seriousness he doesn't look like a [[Mexican|Hispanic]], but rather a dirty [[Guido]]. Politics aside, would you want your Commander-in-Chief someone who'd use [[Blackface|"Brownface"]] to appeal to [[Mexicans|minority voters]]? Rhetorical question [[nigger]][[faggot]]! The answer is [[No]].


==[[Mitt Romney]] [[George Bush doesn't care about black people|doesn't care about gay people]]==
===[[Mitt Romney]] [[George Bush doesn't care about black people|doesn't care about gay people]]===
{{quote|I don’t really care what you tell your adopted daughter. Why don’t you just tell her the same thing you’ve been telling her the last eight years.|Mitt Romeny|telling [[Homosexuals]] that he doesn't care what their children think of a [[United States|government]] that is denying them equal rights protected under the Constitution's Bill of Rights}}
{{quote|I don’t really care what you tell your adopted daughter. Why don’t you just tell her the same thing you’ve been telling her the last eight years.|Mitt Romney|telling [[Homosexuals]] that he doesn't care what their children think of a [[United States|government]] that is denying them equal rights protected under the Constitution's Bill of Rights}}


While this event happened [[Last Thursday|a while ago]], it recently made [http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/i-didnt-know-you-had-families-mitt-romney-told-group-of-gay-parents/politics/2012/09/11/48832?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheNewCivilRightsMovement+%28The+New+Civil+Rights+Movement%29 news]. Once again, Romney proves that he doesn't care about another [[Gays|minority group]] simply beyond what would be considered [[Political correctness|politically acceptable]]. Since Mitt Romney didn't use the [[God Hates Fags]] reasoning for not liking [[Homosexuals]], it just makes Mitt Romney appear as more of an [[asshole]].
While this event happened [[Last Thursday|a while ago]], it recently made [http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/i-didnt-know-you-had-families-mitt-romney-told-group-of-gay-parents/politics/2012/09/11/48832?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheNewCivilRightsMovement+%28The+New+Civil+Rights+Movement%29 news]. Once again, Romney proves that he doesn't care about another [[Gays|minority group]] simply beyond what would be considered [[Political correctness|politically acceptable]]. Since Mitt Romney didn't use the [[God Hates Fags]] reasoning for not liking [[Homosexuals]], it just makes Mitt Romney appear as more of an [[asshole]].


==Samuel L. Jackson swears for Obama==
===<s>First Presidential Debate 10/3/12</s> Every Mainstream Presidential Debate===
This ad was "paid for by the [[Jewish]] council of education and research"
 
<center>{{frame|<youtube>og35U0d6WKY</youtube><br>|border=black|background=grey}}</center>
 
==<s>First Presidential Debate 10/3/12</s> Every Mainstream Presidential Debate==


[[File:Obama_%26_Romney_Animu.jpg|center|thumb| 700px| Pretty much [[Homosexuality|this]]]]
[[File:Obama_%26_Romney_Animu.jpg|center|thumb| 700px| Pretty much [[Homosexuality|this]]]]
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[[File:Kawaiielection.jpg|center]]
[[File:Kawaiielection.jpg|center]]


==The Democratic and Republican Debates are prearranged bullshit so no side's feelings get hurt==
===The Democratic and Republican Debates are prearranged bullshit so no side's feelings get hurt===


According to a leaked agreement between Obama and Romney made before any of the four debates, nothing of value can or will be debated in the debates (which is the whole point). Romney and Obama were not allowed to ask each other direct questions or propose pledges, and neither the moderator nor either of the candidates could ask follow-up questions to any of the audience's questions. This made the debates a meaningless assortment of propaganda, slogans, rhetoric, and general [[bullshit]].  
According to a leaked agreement between Obama and Romney made before any of the four debates, nothing of value can or will be debated in the debates (which is the whole point). Romney and Obama were not allowed to ask each other direct questions or propose pledges, and neither the moderator nor either of the candidates could ask follow-up questions to any of the audience's questions. This made the debates a meaningless assortment of propaganda, slogans, rhetoric, and general [[bullshit]].  
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This is just yet another example of the  [[Democratic]] and [[Republican]] Parties just being legitimate political fronts for the status quo that is [[Jews|Goldman Sachs]] and the rest of [[Wall Street]].
This is just yet another example of the  [[Democratic]] and [[Republican]] Parties just being legitimate political fronts for the status quo that is [[Jews|Goldman Sachs]] and the rest of [[Wall Street]].


[http://www.gawker.com/5951977/leaked-debate-agreement-shows-both-obama-and-romney-are-sniveling-cowards Read the TL;DR version here].
{{archive|fqEg0|Read the TL;DR version here}}.


=="[[Neocons|These Guys]]" Political Ad==
==="[[Neocons|These Guys]]" Political Ad===
Also don't think that [[ED|our]] bias is supporting the [[Police state|Police State]] [[Obama|Cosby]] since he is just a [[Liberal|leftist]] [[neocon]] in the pockets of [[Zionists|these]] [[Wall Street|guys]].
Also don't think that [[ED|our]] bias is supporting the [[Police state|Police State]] [[Obama|Cosby]] since he is just a [[Liberal|leftist]] [[neocon]] in the pockets of [[Zionists|these]] [[Wall Street|guys]].


<center>{{frame|<youtube>KrC2pFaaR70</youtube><br>|border=black|background=grey}}</center>
<center>{{frame|<youtube>KrC2pFaaR70</youtube><br>|border=black|background=grey}}</center>


==Election Fraud 2012==
===Election Fraud 2012===
{{quote|No other [[Republicans|son-of-a-bitch]] will ever out-[[nigger]] me again!|[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Wallace George Wallace], on the norm of [[Democracy|election fraud]] in American politics.}}
{{quote|No other [[Republicans|son-of-a-bitch]] will ever out-[[nigger]] me again!|[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Wallace George Wallace], on the norm of [[Democracy|election fraud]] in American politics.}}


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Apparently, [[you|one]] [http://www.salon.com/2011/09/27/votinghack/ can hack the electronic election machines commonly used in America], especially due to [http://www.dailypaul.com/261322/ohio-recently-installed-untested-uncertified-software-patches-on-ess-voting-machines-in-39-counties-says-liberal-tabloid untested new software patches] [[Oh exploitable|being installed right before the election]]. Happy [[IRL Troll|hunting]]!
Apparently, [[you|one]] [http://www.salon.com/2011/09/27/votinghack/ can hack the electronic election machines commonly used in America], especially due to [http://www.dailypaul.com/261322/ohio-recently-installed-untested-uncertified-software-patches-on-ess-voting-machines-in-39-counties-says-liberal-tabloid untested new software patches] [[Oh exploitable|being installed right before the election]]. Happy [[IRL Troll|hunting]]!


==Obama's Benghazi Gate==  
===Obama's Benghazi Gate===
[[Republicans]] have been [[butthurt]] about the attack on the Libyan Embassy since it has happened. [[Fox News]] has devoted most of its programming to covering this blazing scandal, even after everyone stopped caring about it. This [[butthurt]] has only increased as [http://beforeitsnews.com/obama/2012/10/cia-agents-confirm-obama-told-them-not-to-aid-ambassador-chris-stevens-the-white-house-disinformation-campaign-on-libya-2445322.html more true/fake information] about this incident has come out. One of the more [[Rage|vehement]] members of the butthurt patrol includes Senator [[Ron Paul|Rand Paul]] who issued [http://paul.senate.gov/?p=press_release&id=628 this statement] about how [[Nazi|Police State]] [[Obama|Cosby]] can't even do his job right as commander-in-chief. So eventually as more information comes out, it will be apparent that there was some conspiracy about this, such as "did [[Obama|we]] intentionally let those four people in the embassy die?" Though [[ED]] knew that this was a [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Innocence_of_Muslims#Is_there_a_conspiracy_behind_this_plot.3F conspiracy since the beginning].
[[Republicans]] have been [[butthurt]] about the attack on the Libyan Embassy since it has happened. [[Fox News]] has devoted most of its programming to covering this blazing scandal, even after everyone stopped caring about it. This [[butthurt]] has only increased as [http://beforeitsnews.com/obama/2012/10/cia-agents-confirm-obama-told-them-not-to-aid-ambassador-chris-stevens-the-white-house-disinformation-campaign-on-libya-2445322.html more true/fake information] about this incident has come out. One of the more [[Rage|vehement]] members of the butthurt patrol includes Senator [[Ron Paul|Rand Paul]] who issued [http://paul.senate.gov/?p=press_release&id=628 this statement] about how [[Nazi|Police State]] [[Obama|Cosby]] can't even do his job right as commander-in-chief. So eventually as more information comes out, it will be apparent that there was some conspiracy about this, such as "did [[Obama|we]] intentionally let those four people in the embassy die?" Though [[ED]] knew that this was a [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Innocence_of_Muslims#Is_there_a_conspiracy_behind_this_plot.3F conspiracy since the beginning].


Obviously, this [[drama|story]] might not make much of a difference this election since the [[Old Media|corporate media]] loves [[Nazi|Police State]] [[Obama|Cosby]]'s dick so much, [[Fox News|with one major exception]], [[Old Media|they]] will overlook this fact until impeachment procedures begin, which they never will. <s>That is assuming of course, Police State Cosby wins this election despite [[Democracy|rampant election fraud]]</s>.
Obviously, this [[drama|story]] might not make much of a difference this election since the [[Old Media|corporate media]] loves [[Nazi|Police State]] [[Obama|Cosby]]'s dick so much, [[Fox News|with one major exception]], [[Old Media|they]] will overlook this fact until impeachment procedures begin, which they never will. <s>That is assuming of course, Police State Cosby wins this election despite [[Democracy|rampant election fraud]]</s>.


==Second 3rd Party Debate==
===Second 3rd Party Debate===
[[Shit nobody cares about|You probably didn't hear about it]], but it did happen. You can watch the first debate [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EcaX12h46k here]. The second debate can be viewed [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGqHeDxRD1k here]. These debates involve [[Libertarian]] party candidate Gary Johnson, who is basically a slightly-less [[batshit insane]] version of [[Ron Paul]], as well as [[Environmentalist|Green Party]] candidate Jill Stein, another [[batshit insane]] candidate who thinks that [[Animal Abuse|animals]] should have the same rights as humans and anything that damages the environment should be outlawed. The debates also involve the Justice Party's candidate Rocky Anderson [[Shit nobody cares about|whom no one knows or cares about]], as well as the Consitutional Party's candidate Virgil Goode, a man with no solid moral foundation (a former [[Democrat]]), who also has a [[typical]], and very annoying Southern accent. Regardless of [[lulz]] and [[drama]], [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] wants you to be informed about the [[no one|other people]] running for the position of [[Warhammer|Emperor of Mankind]], even if these choices will have no significance in the actual election whatsoever.
[[Shit nobody cares about|You probably didn't hear about it]], but it did happen. You can watch the first debate [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EcaX12h46k here]. The second debate can be viewed [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGqHeDxRD1k here]. These debates involve [[Libertarian]] party candidate Gary Johnson, who is basically a slightly-less [[batshit insane]] version of [[Ron Paul]], as well as [[Environmentalist|Green Party]] candidate [[Jill Stein]]{{Jew}}, another [[batshit insane]] candidate who thinks that [[Animal Abuse|animals]] should have the same rights as humans and anything that damages the environment should be outlawed. The debates also involve the Justice Party's candidate Rocky Anderson [[Shit nobody cares about|whom no one knows or cares about]], as well as the Consitutional Party's candidate Virgil Goode, a man with no solid moral foundation (a former [[Democrat]]), who also has a [[typical]], and very annoying Southern accent. Regardless of [[lulz]] and [[drama]], [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] wants you to be informed about the [[no one|other people]] running for the position of [[Warhammer|Emperor of Mankind]], even if these choices will have no significance in the actual election whatsoever.


==OBAMA WINS AGAIN==
===OBAMA WINS===
After thousands of hours of media coverage, massive amounts of [[BAWW|BAWWing]] and [[rage]] from [[Liberals]] and [[Conservatives]], and hundreds of millions of dollars spent [[Karl Rove|trying to buy the election]], it was finally announced that we, the nation, have [[Black Jesus|the same damn President]] as we did the day before. There was much [[butthurt]] and disappointment over at [[Fox News]], as shown here:
After thousands of hours of media coverage, massive amounts of [[BAWW|BAWWing]] and [[rage]] from [[Liberals]] and [[Conservatives]], and hundreds of millions of dollars spent [[Karl Rove|trying to buy the election]], it was finally announced that we, the nation, have [[Black Jesus|the same damn President]] as we did the day before. There was much [[butthurt]] and disappointment over at [[Fox News]], as shown here:


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Apparently [[Americunts|Americans]] didn't want to vote for people who believed in "legitimate rape", no moar [[Abortion|abortions]], no moar [[condoms]], no moar regulations, no moar [[Welfare]], and no moar taxes. However, regardless of who would have won, the [[Americans|American people]] will continue to be screwed over by the ruling class and will also continue to be [[fat]], [[lazy]], ignorant and [[unemployed]]. Sorry [[leftards]], there is no "Change".
Apparently [[Americunts|Americans]] didn't want to vote for people who believed in "legitimate rape", no moar [[Abortion|abortions]], no moar [[condoms]], no moar regulations, no moar [[Welfare]], and no moar taxes. However, regardless of who would have won, the [[Americans|American people]] will continue to be screwed over by the ruling class and will also continue to be [[fat]], [[lazy]], ignorant and [[unemployed]]. Sorry [[leftards]], there is no "Change".


On the bright side, however, [[Colorado]] and [[Washington]] have legalized [[cannabis]] for recreational use. Blaze it up.
On the bright side, however, [[Colorado]] and [[Washington]] have legalized [[cannabis]] for recreational use. Blaze it up.
 
 
=== Holly Solomon ===
 
[[File:Holly Solomon.jpg|thumb|A true [[Republican]] from [[Arizona]]. If you don't vote for [[Mitt Romney|Mitt]], she'll kill you.]]
 
'''Holly Solomon''' (born 1984) is a [[cow|pregnant]] [[Republican]] [[cumdumpster|woman]] from [[Arizona]] who became famous for being so [[butthurt]] over [[Obama]]'s re-election that she [[lolwut|ran over her husband]], leaving him with critical injuries. She is currently seeking the Republican nomination for the Governor of [[Arizona]], and early polls show that she is far in the lead.


*[http://www.inquisitr.com/397048/pregnant-arizona-woman-holly-solomon-runs-down-nearly-kills-non-voting-husband-blames-him-for-obamas-re-election/ Pregnant Arizona Woman Holly Solomon Runs Down, Nearly Kills Non-Voting Husband, Blames Him For Obama’s Re-Election]
*[http://www.kshb.com/dpp/news/Copy_of_gilbert-pd-man-run-over-by-wife-for-not-voting-knxv1352842430958 Holly Solomon, Arizona wife, accused of running over husband for not voting]
==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
File:Voting2012.jpg
</gallery></center>


==See Also==
==See Also==
 
*[[2016 Elections]] - 1000x more crazy
*[[Democrats]]
*[[Democrats]]
*[[Republicans]]
*[[Republicans]]

Latest revision as of 19:37, 9 April 2023

The 2012 elections in a nutshell.
South Park gets it right.
Tits will make this page less shitty!

Every four two years the race for the President of the United States begins. While each term in office lasts four years, after two years of being in office, Presidential policy is dictated by the needs of getting reelected, not of governance. This practice was utilized to an extreme with a recent President who liked to set up false flag operations, invade the Middle East, and slaughter and rape babies as a means of gaining electoral support among fat white Republicans. The majority of the American public know nothing about this, because self-censorship is forced upon journalists that cover elections and wars in order to get access to campaigns and politicians, so any actual truth comes in a watered-down and bullshit-laced form. However, since we aren't a bunch of pussies when it comes to reporting the delicious drama, here is the loldown on the election leading to declaring who is Emperor of Mankind for the next four years. Will the next Emperor be a Police State Cosby, a worker ant collecting riches and glory for the Mormon Empire who also supports the Police State, or Gary Johnson who has no chance of winning, but will likely pull a Ralph Nader in these elections. OBAMA WON. This is a timeline of the various events and trolling of the 2012 Elections. Please feel free to add any relevant events on this timeline.

Republican Primaries

Steven Colbert trolls the Republican Primaries with his SuperPAC Ads

Steven Colbert, in an audacious act of IRL Trolling, set up his own SuperPAC funded by donations from his audience. He used the money to make extremely lulzy pseudo-political ads which he ran in the swing-states Iowa and South Carolina, successfully trolling many dumb Americans.

Herman Cain

Moar info: Herman Cain.

MY HEAD IS FULL OF DERP

Herman Cain is one of the greatest political trolls to ever exist and trolled the Republican Primaries on a scale never before seen. Besides being a serial rapist, pervert, and a nigger (It's well-known that all Republicans hate niggers), Herman Cain decided to lulz it up even further with numerous other wacky antics. His famous tax plan he based his whole campaign on, called "9-9-9", was both incredibly stupid, and 666 is "999" upside down, also proving that Cain hails Satan everyday. This obvious troll was never seriously analyzed by any mainstream media sources; one can speculate why this was never mentioned. Cain also said that homosexuality is a choice, because, according to him, lots of normal people randomly wake up one day and decide they want to take it in the ass. Cain also provided extremely lulzy answers when asked about foreign policy, taking pride in his ignorance of the rest of the world and actually sounding even more ignorant than W, as shown in the two videos below:



Cain was eventually forced to drop out of the race after all the white women he raped years before came out and spilled the beans to the mainstream media, causing a massive drama storm.

Due to Cain's serious addiction to raping white wimmins, and his "666" tax plan, many rumors of Cain being the devil himself circulated.Experts believe that Herman Cain, while being incredibly evil and stupid, is not the anti-Christ. Logic points out that "why would Satan manifest as a dumb nigger when he could manifest as the Police State Cosby?" Unless Satan has been outsourcing his evil, the only explanation is that Herman Cain is just a dumb nigger who happened to figure out how to troll even stupider white people.

Ron Paul gets fucked over by his own party

How Paultards view their hero.

Since the election was still full of trolls and outright retards like Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, and Rick Santorum, there were a few candidates running on the Republican Party ticket who were actually of some quality, at least by Republican standards. Those two candidates were Jon Huntsman (who would have raped President Obama in the general elections if he had made it past NH) and Ron Paul. Paul managed to rally a large support base for his campaign, made up of batshit insane teenagers and college students, who worshiped and fellated Paul like he was a God. His fanbase also viciously flamed and h4xed anyone who said anything critical of their messiah.

The Republican Party was scared of Ron Paul and Jon Huntsman, as they wouldn't dance when asked and had their own independent views. So, the mainstream Republicans lulzed it up. First, using their propaganda machine, Ron Paul was cut off whenever he was making a point in an interview or debate,, whether it is about media mistreatment and under representation or when soldiers tell the truth about foreign policy. The second tactic used by the Republican Party was rigging their own internal primary votes. What makes this incredibly lulzy is that doing this is perfectly legal. With the Republican Party being a private organization, they can do whatever they want to their own party members and get away with it. This completely legal maneuver resulted in many individuals to suffer from chronic butthurt.

Mitt Romney's Horse gets trolled

Mitt, asking the tough questions.

Due to Mitt Romney being the rich man (over 250 million dollars rich) he is, he can afford a pony, but not just any pony, but a racing horse that competes internationally. When this political ad first aired, it was truly lulz since it finally seemed as if the Democrats grew some cojones and decided to strike back against the Republicans for all their bullshit. This was not to be the case. Shortly after these devestating political ads were released, Mitt Romney's wife, Ann Romney, complained that these political ads were attacking her. Her reasoning was that since she used the horse for the treatment of her multiple sclerosis that this was an attack on her, despite the fact she doesn't pay for the horse nor was she mentioned in any of the ads. Instead of the Democrats telling her to STFU and get back into the kitchen, Democrats took it in the ass and removed these two videos from the airwaves.

The real reason this political attack ad was asked by Ann Romney to be pulled was not due to cultural marxist political correctness, but rather that Mitt Romney is a retard who was made a fool. Romney was so butthurt about being called out that he was wrong on economic matters (which is hysterical since he claims his business experience makes him superior to Obama), that he had to use his crippled wife to save his ass with her pulling out the multiple sclerosis card in order to censor this brutal attack on Romney's credibility.

Republican National Convention

Racism at the Republican National Convention

Conservative southerners being racist is not news, unless it is conservative southerns being racist on the opening day of the Republican National Convention, a place packed with liberal media news organizations. The liberal media purposely goes out of their way to find examples of Republicans being racist to further bribe the black vote for the Democrats.

At the RNC, two attendees threw peanuts at a black female camerawoman and yelled “This is how we feed animals". The attendees were then kicked out of the convention. Here at Encyclopedia Dramatica, while we discourage violent acts against minorities, we support the general message of "this is how we feed animals," especially with a particular African-American. This story would have been a minor event in the 2012 election news cycle because no one really gives a shit about a black camera woman having peanuts thrown at her, but the liberal media jumped right on it and bawwed for days on end about it. The greatest irony of this event, is that these same chanting rednecks voted for a Mormon half-Mexican instead of a half-Nigger in November, despite both being filthy minorities.


Clint Eastwood is a senile old man who trolled the RNC

Clint Eastwood, a washed up batshit actor, was promoted by the Republicans as one of the primary and most important speakers of the event, due to his fame and influence on borderline-retarded Americans. What he ended up doing when he got up to speak was both unexpected and lulzy.

Clint's rambling, improvised "speech" includes debating with a chair and other lulzy acts. If you notice the choice of Clint's words, they are vague enough to where they could be describing not simply Obama, but Romney and Ryan as well. Watch it below:


Ron Paul supporters have a bitchfit at the RNC

As it was mentioned earlier in the article, Ron Paul supporters are really pissed at the GOP because of their success with rigging their primary elections. The problem was magnified during the RNC, when the speakers would not even read off the delegates for Ron Paul in the selection process. Incidents such as Paultards yelling "Fuck you Tyrants" and the defrauded Maine delegates leaving the convention en masse, were the only lulzy highlights. The Libertarian rift in the Republican Party grew much larger because of this, and had absolutely no implications in anybodies re-election, as nobody gives a shit about the Libertarians.

Romney picks his VP Candidate as Paul Ryan

Or at least that's what everyone thinks happened. In reality, Romney's VP was selected by Karl Rove and the Jewish forces that control the US government and all elections. So when Romney pretended that it was his decision to choose his Vice Presidential running-mate and made his official announcement, he made this little gaffe. Given the running rate of how much it costs to fake one's own death in this economy ($1 million), Romney could easily fake his own death and retire and the American people would be none the wiser. Paul Ryan, while claiming to be a raging Christfag and Republican, is actually a Ayn Rand fanboy and doesn't give two shits about old people, niggers, or anyone else but himself and his Jewish financial overlords. His Medicare plan (that is, to destroy it) is extremely unpopular with seniors, yet seniors voted for him and the rest of the Republicans, because they'd rather die with no medical care than vote a nigger into the "White" House.

General Election

Broadside

Moar info: Broadside.

Encyclopedia Dramatica decided to participate in the fun of hosting leaks for Project Mayhem in order to change the discussion of the 2012 elections.

Reporting live from Bahrain

EDiots have infiltrated Bahrain and are reporting from within, which happens to be the greatest human rights scandal the United States and the rest of the West has currently embroiled itself in. You will not hear about Bahrain at all this election because Iran is a bigger issue, thus it is in the Zionists' interests not to give nationalist Bahraini revolutionaries their own sovereignty as they would no longer serve Israel or Wahhabist interests.

Obama's Hemp Gate

 
 
While America's economy is suffering staggering losses in jobs and debt, the Obama administration is creating jobs for Chinese workers by selling hemp scarves on its website -- even while industrialized hemp remains illegal for U.S. farmers to grow.
 

 

—Obama's hypocrisy and alliance with The Man revealed yet again. Ironically, Obama smoked lots of weed while he was in college in Hawaii Kenya.

Sauce

Republicans and Democrats attempt to make the election a two-party race

After the Republican Party's legitimate rape of Ron Paul which was tolerated by the Democrats because if Ron Paul won the GOP primaries, Obama would not beat Ron Paul in the general elections. Things were going as planned, until Gary Johnson, the former Republican Governor of Nevada and an independent Libertarian presidential candidate started doing well in the polls.

This scared the shit out of the Republican Party and they decided to try the same tactics they used to pwn Ron Paul. But unlike senile Grandpa Paul, Gary Johnson fought back and managed to get onto the ballets in key swing states, despite the antics of Republican Lawyers and their corporate masters.

Rape Gate 2012: Akin to be raped

Until this, this election year was going to be a close, but boring one. Due to the fact the other guys are assholes and the masses will always stomach a Muslim Atheist nigger Kenyan communist over an asshole. Then this shit happened.

   
 
First of all, from what I understand from doctors, (pregnancy from rape) is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.
 

 
 

—Todd Akin, Accidentally revealing the Republican pro-rape platform

Yeah, a Congressman who sits on the fucking United States House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology said this shit. While here at Encyclopedia Dramatica we have some rather enlightened and correct views on rape that at times flirt around the ground of "legitimate rape", even the most uncircumcised of Philistines knows that rape is one of many ways of how a baby is made. In fact, some argue that rape played an important role in [founding our species, though it is unsure who raped who first: Humans or Neanderthals. Regardless, as bad as this is regarding total ignorance of how a woman's body works, the real issue here is that this is a dangerous precedent that a man of such ignorance would ironically hold such a powerful position in the United States government.

Election-wise this means that instead of all the issues that truly matter this election won't be focused on, the deciding single voter issue turns out that it is going to be women's rights again. The politics of the Right has become trite as it has been literally destroying America. This stubborn insistence to fight old battles and continue having a temper tantrum is symptomatic of numerous psychological conditions that appears to be rampant throughout Conservatives.

While Republicans were reeling and desperately trying to defend themselves from Akin's comments (even though he does represent ALL Republican's actual views), another Republican politician enlightened the public about rape. Mr. Richard Mourdock (Unfortunately no correlation to Rupert Murdoch of FOX News) of the great state of Indiana informed the public in an interview that there is nothing wrong with rape, as God always intends it, and that it is merely another form of making babies. Even though what Murdoch said is 100% true, this remark caused massive bawwing from both Liberals and Conservatives and proved two things:

1) The Christians are more backwards when it comes to women's rights than actual Sharia Law.
2) Christian women are always asking for it.

The rumors of the hacking of Romney's Tax Returns

If this is legitimate blackmail and it turns out that Mitt Romney is a secret billionaire, Encyclopedia Dramatica encourages this hacker to accept bitcoin and then release the tax files regardless. The leaking of Romney's tax returns was a false rumor and never happened.

More Libertarian faggotry: Gary Johnson talks about an inevitable Global Economic Collapse

Libertarians actually think they're gonna save America from armageddon.

This isn't a conspiracy theory when the strongest third party Presidential candidate in an election starts talking about how the status quo will lead to an economic collapse. That collapse, according to Gary Johnson, will happen due to any one of these triggers:

So, the theories are more of the same paranoid Libertarian horror stories, already said OVER 9000 times by the likes of Ron Paul and Alex Jones.

Obama decides not to meet with his Jewish Overlords

Barack Obama: First jewish president?

In this election, Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney have argued that Obama has been anything less than a toadie for America's Jewish Overlords, when in fact Obama has been one of the most pro-Israeli President evar. President Obama was supposed to personally meet Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu, who no one likes, some time in October 2012, but because of complications, the meeting got cancelled. Instead of people realizing that the President of the United States has a busy schedule, some people got uppity about this perceived slight. The drama coming from the conservative camp was incredibly unfounded, as pro-Zionists like California Senator Barbara Boxer came to Obama's defense.

In terms of elections, Obama's move wasn't politically smart given that anything that might be misconstrued as even slightly anti-Israeli in an election year would have resulted in a shit-ton of campaign contributions to the opponent of whoever supportd the ZOG less than the other. To make up for this, Obama gave Israel even moar money, plus moar free military equipment. In American politics: without Jews, you lose.

Six percent of people in Ohio are stupid

Go to page 3, question 15 for a facepalm. This is what happens when you have a political establishment that caters to the lowest common denominator, these kind of people get to vote and shape our nation's destiny. This six percent is enough to make or break elections in swing states like Ohio, as was demonstrated in 2000 in Florida.

Mitt Romney still doesn't get Foreign Policy

Mitt Romney has focused on making the election on the economy (despite he knows dick about economic matters) while Obama has made it about foreign policy as their respective tactics to win this election. This stragety has slowly started to focus on foreign policy because Romney is prone to mistakes on these matters. Romney went out of his way again to fuck up and say stupid shit in the middle of a crisis, not after it was over. Showing once again, Romney is willing to play politics over governance any day of the week.


Mitt Romney's speech for rich white men gets recorded and leaked

And then the Republicans were the looters.

Mitt Romney did a classic mistake that all soon to be ruined politicians do: he spoke the truth and it was recorded. These video leaks demonstrate several things:

Mitt Romney dyes his skin to look more latino

But in all seriousness he doesn't look like a Hispanic, but rather a dirty Guido. Politics aside, would you want your Commander-in-Chief someone who'd use "Brownface" to appeal to minority voters? Rhetorical question niggerfaggot! The answer is No.

Mitt Romney doesn't care about gay people

   
 
I don’t really care what you tell your adopted daughter. Why don’t you just tell her the same thing you’ve been telling her the last eight years.
 

 
 

—Mitt Romney, telling Homosexuals that he doesn't care what their children think of a government that is denying them equal rights protected under the Constitution's Bill of Rights

While this event happened a while ago, it recently made news. Once again, Romney proves that he doesn't care about another minority group simply beyond what would be considered politically acceptable. Since Mitt Romney didn't use the God Hates Fags reasoning for not liking Homosexuals, it just makes Mitt Romney appear as more of an asshole.

First Presidential Debate 10/3/12 Every Mainstream Presidential Debate

Pretty much this

The Democratic and Republican Debates are prearranged bullshit so no side's feelings get hurt

According to a leaked agreement between Obama and Romney made before any of the four debates, nothing of value can or will be debated in the debates (which is the whole point). Romney and Obama were not allowed to ask each other direct questions or propose pledges, and neither the moderator nor either of the candidates could ask follow-up questions to any of the audience's questions. This made the debates a meaningless assortment of propaganda, slogans, rhetoric, and general bullshit.

This is just yet another example of the Democratic and Republican Parties just being legitimate political fronts for the status quo that is Goldman Sachs and the rest of Wall Street.

Read the TL;DR version here.

"These Guys" Political Ad

Also don't think that our bias is supporting the Police State Cosby since he is just a leftist neocon in the pockets of these guys.


Election Fraud 2012

   
 
No other son-of-a-bitch will ever out-nigger me again!
 

 
 

George Wallace, on the norm of election fraud in American politics.

Election fraud is very big in the United States, so Republicans have cracked down on election fraud with voter ID laws to minimize this problem. However, this sort of election fraud stopped being a problem since JFK won Chicago due to ballot stuffing of dead people voting for him. Since then, election fraud has been much more subtler due to lack of transparency and easily hack-able electronic voting machines owned by the Republican Party.

Recently, Republicans have forgot that NORPs believe there is genuine democracy in America and that the cameras were rolling during an event when their actual agenda behind Voter ID laws was revealed. This slipup was glossed over by corporate media as no one wants to upset the political status quo as it is working so well for all parties involved. A former NSA analyst decided to do some math which revealed the truth about the "smoke and mirrors" that is American Democracy, that Republicans commit rampant election fraud. In fact this is so bad, Russian experts argue that American Democracy is a charade, which is funny since the Russians don't actually have a democracy either. This election fraud has been an on-going problem since at least the 2000 elections in which Bush was elected as this video at a congressional hearing about election fraud points out. Despite this being a problem that powerful people were aware of, no efforts have been made to make American elections not rampant with fraud. One can speculate this is because those who are supposed to be opposed to the Republicans are just as guilty of election fraud and corruption. But then again, neither the Republicans and Democrats care since both parties are working for the same sponsor.



Apparently, one can hack the electronic election machines commonly used in America, especially due to untested new software patches being installed right before the election. Happy hunting!

Obama's Benghazi Gate

Republicans have been butthurt about the attack on the Libyan Embassy since it has happened. Fox News has devoted most of its programming to covering this blazing scandal, even after everyone stopped caring about it. This butthurt has only increased as more true/fake information about this incident has come out. One of the more vehement members of the butthurt patrol includes Senator Rand Paul who issued this statement about how Police State Cosby can't even do his job right as commander-in-chief. So eventually as more information comes out, it will be apparent that there was some conspiracy about this, such as "did we intentionally let those four people in the embassy die?" Though ED knew that this was a conspiracy since the beginning.

Obviously, this story might not make much of a difference this election since the corporate media loves Police State Cosby's dick so much, with one major exception, they will overlook this fact until impeachment procedures begin, which they never will. That is assuming of course, Police State Cosby wins this election despite rampant election fraud.

Second 3rd Party Debate

You probably didn't hear about it, but it did happen. You can watch the first debate here. The second debate can be viewed here. These debates involve Libertarian party candidate Gary Johnson, who is basically a slightly-less batshit insane version of Ron Paul, as well as Green Party candidate Jill Stein, another batshit insane candidate who thinks that animals should have the same rights as humans and anything that damages the environment should be outlawed. The debates also involve the Justice Party's candidate Rocky Anderson whom no one knows or cares about, as well as the Consitutional Party's candidate Virgil Goode, a man with no solid moral foundation (a former Democrat), who also has a typical, and very annoying Southern accent. Regardless of lulz and drama, Encyclopedia Dramatica wants you to be informed about the other people running for the position of Emperor of Mankind, even if these choices will have no significance in the actual election whatsoever.

OBAMA WINS

After thousands of hours of media coverage, massive amounts of BAWWing and rage from Liberals and Conservatives, and hundreds of millions of dollars spent trying to buy the election, it was finally announced that we, the nation, have the same damn President as we did the day before. There was much butthurt and disappointment over at Fox News, as shown here:


Apparently Americans didn't want to vote for people who believed in "legitimate rape", no moar abortions, no moar condoms, no moar regulations, no moar Welfare, and no moar taxes. However, regardless of who would have won, the American people will continue to be screwed over by the ruling class and will also continue to be fat, lazy, ignorant and unemployed. Sorry leftards, there is no "Change".

On the bright side, however, Colorado and Washington have legalized cannabis for recreational use. Blaze it up.


Holly Solomon

A true Republican from Arizona. If you don't vote for Mitt, she'll kill you.

Holly Solomon (born 1984) is a pregnant Republican woman from Arizona who became famous for being so butthurt over Obama's re-election that she ran over her husband, leaving him with critical injuries. She is currently seeking the Republican nomination for the Governor of Arizona, and early polls show that she is far in the lead.

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