Completely irrelevant history

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gens et fons

Without completely irrelevant history, the Internets would die. It is the gens et fons of the world wide web.

Here's How It Works

1. Prima gets an internet connection. She's so happy! Look at happy Prima. She has access to music, e-commerce and, best of all, porn.
2. Prima decides to talk to other people with internet connections and get a better sense of the world in which she lives. This will also give her a chance to speak to other like-minded individuals on a common passion. Perhaps she likes potpourri or stamp collecting?
3. Prima goes to a forum regarding her hobby and begins to chat with other people.
4. One day, another person with an internet connection, Secunda, poses an opinion different to Prima's!!! OH NOEZ!!!
5. Prima, rationally and without malice, tries to show why Secunda is wrong.
6. Secunda declares Prima to be insane.
7. Secunda has e-friends — one of whom might be a dwarf. They all come to Secunda's aid and suddenly there is an argument on the internets!
8. From now on, Prima and Secunda will always be adversaries. If Prima ever writes anything, Secunda will take the contrary position. Verily, this completely irrelevant history has become the sole motivation behind all of their interactions.
9. ????
10. PROFIT!

When to Use Completely Irrelevant History

Completely irrelevant history should be used in all of the following situations:

• Talking about religion
• Attacking with ad hominem
• Discussions on shipping, especially if you're in the Harry Potter fandom

See Also

• Shit no one cares about

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