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HTML

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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HTML stands for Hyper Text Markup Language. It is something you have no idea how to use. You can use simple HTML to create cock boats.

HyperText Markup Language (HTML) makes web pages display properly on the World Wide Web. It is a markup language, which means it has a mix of a normal language that people can read, and a special markup syntax that tells computers what to do. HTML is sent and received through HTTP.

A web browser is the program that reads the special language in HTML. This language tells the web browser how the web page should look. The web page can include writing, links, pictures, and even sound and video. It can also have writing that is not shown in the web page, which tells people about the web page—for example, the name of the person who made it.

The World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) develops HTML. The latest version is XHTML 1.1. It uses XML and can include other XML-languages.

TL;DR: HTML is serious fucking business.

The creator of HTML was Ajsiu.

Example

<html>

<head>
<title>Title of page</title>
</head>

<body>
Body of the page
</body>

</html>

Most Important HTML tag

Stick this code onto a page that lets you do div tags,:

<div id="Layer1" style="border-right: #000000 1px; border-top: #000000 1px; z-index: 1; left: 0px; border-left: #000000 1px; width: 1000px; border-bottom: #000000 1px; position: absolute; top: 0px; height: 10000px; background-color: #000000; layer-background-color: #000000; padding:.5em; text-align:center;">
<p style="color:#ff0000; font-family:Tahoma; font-weight:400;"><font size="4">!!>> EDIT THIS <<!!</font></p>

It will rape them.

Second-most Important HTML tag

You can drive people batty by posting this:

<table>
<tr>
<td style="width:150px; text-align:center;">
oooo
<marquee width="100%" behavior="alternate" direction="left">3=========Ð</marquee>  O
</td>
<td style="width:40px">
<marquee width="100%" behavior="scroll" direction="right">~° ~° ~°</marquee>
</td>
</tr>
</table>

Third-most important html tag:

<div style="text-transform: uppercase;">

Encyclopediadramatica's purpose is to provide a central catalog for the e-public to view organized reference pages about drama, memes, e-pals and other interesting happenings on the internets. Sparked after several people were denied from posting to wikipedia.org. The moniker was coined by 33mhz on jameth's journal.

OR

<div style="text-transform: capitalize;">

Encyclopediadramatica's purpose is to provide a central catalog for the e-public to view organized reference pages about drama, memes, e-pals and other interesting happenings on the internets. Sparked after several people were denied from posting to wikipedia.org. The moniker was coined by 33mhz on jameth's journal.

<div style="font-variant: small-caps;">

Encyclopediadramatica's purpose is to provide a central catalog for the e-public to view organized reference pages about drama, memes, e-pals and other interesting happenings on the internets. Sparked after several people were denied from posting to wikipedia.org. The moniker was coined by 33mhz on jameth's journal.

OR

<div style="text-transform: lowercase;">

Encyclopediadramatica's purpose is to provide a central catalog for the e-public to view organized reference pages about drama, memes, e-pals and other interesting happenings on the internets. Sparked after several people were denied from posting to wikipedia.org. The moniker was coined by 33mhz on jameth's journal.

OR

<div style="direction:rtl; unicode-bidi:bidi-override;">

Encyclopediadramatica's purpose is to provide a central catalog for the e-public to view organized reference pages about drama, memes, e-pals and other interesting happenings on the internets. Sparked after several people were denied from posting to wikipedia.org. The moniker was coined by 33mhz on jameth's journal.


HTML5

In around 2007/8, Web 2.0 users who couldn't be bothered to program in the first place started to develop it so that they could make webpages using wordpress all look like Zen Gardens and 'moar interactif!' and despite the fact that most of these 'developers' could have their needs satisfied with either Flash or Javascript - because HTML is used to design webpages, not animate them - it was a pointless idea.

Plus, most people who use wordpress haven't a fucking clue as to how to design a real webpage anyway - let alone create their own language, as most of them can't spell English properly anyway.


HTML5 was pretty much ignored at this point.


Around 2010 when Blow Jobs was looking at ways of preventing apple users from using anything developed by somebody who hadn't slipped Job's dick onto their tongue, he concluded that preventing those who can't be bothered to shop around for reasonably priced machines could be done by preventing iPad users from seeing flash in Safari.

This also meant that most iPad users now couldn't watch YouTube videos - which was pretty much the whole point of the iPad in the first place. So Apple had no choice, but to allow Flash until everybody on the internet switches to developing in HTML5.


Other HTML tags

The <tits> tag

External Links

HTML is part of a series on Programming.

[2 L337 4 MEEnter the Matrix]

ADAAssemblyCC++COBOLDebugDOSErlangErrorFdiskFortranIntegerJavaLOLCodeMachine CodeMatlabMIRC ScriptMUMPSOpen SourcePerlPHPProgramming languagePythonQBASICRuby on RailsScratchSSHVisual Basic

Hacks

Firefox XPS IRC AttackSafari XPS Attack Sandworm

Programmers

Bill GatesLinus TorvaldsWeevGoatse SecurityTerry DavisTheo de Raadt

Other Topics

Operating systemWarezNotepadIs not a bug, it's a featureDatabase Error

HTML is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand