Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Jenna Rose

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>MelancholicKitties at 12:29, 3 September 2011. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Hard working girl
You can buy her used panties here
Jenna giving the nazi salute
Totally legit news coverage
More fake press
Jenna's Resume

Jenna Rose Swerdlow, born September 25, 1998, is the Internets latest incarnation of the five headed she-beast known as Rebecca Black. Unlike Rebecca & the Ark Music Factory however the team pushing Jenna know all too well just what it is that the internet wants from little girls. Jenna's manager, who just so happens to be her own fucking mother, has decided that lil miss Swerdlow's main talents have little to do with her actually singing ability and much more to do with her talent at giving 30 year old men awkward boners. While some may find the idea of a preteen girl using sex to sell her music abhorrent the majority of sick fucks online have all agreed that this is a fantastic decision and wholeheartedly support Jenna's mother in this endeavor.

Backstory

One day 12 year old Jenna went to her parents and told them that she wanted to be famous. After taking a few moments to compose themselves and stifle their laughter Jenna's mother Debbie told her naive young daughter that she was a talentless whore who couldn't sing her way out of a date rape let alone onto the pop charts. Jenna, of course, was heartbroken at this news and did what all American teenagers who don't get their way do: She threw a fucking tantrum. After desperately trying to calm their daughter down with promises of unprotected sex with niggers they finally gave in and figured they could shut her up by posting some shitty music video knockoffs up on YouTube.

Much to their surprise the videos started gaining views fast. At first Jenna's parents attributed this to the fact that their daughter had stayed up day and night since the videos where uploaded refreshing the page over and over again. But a few days later, after Jenna passed out and was unable to falsely boost up her videos anymore, their popularity kept growing. Debbie, her mother, was dumbfounded until Jenna's father offered up a good explanation.

   
 
Honey, maybe other men see what I do in our daughter, a good source for jack off material."
 

 
 

— Father of the year, 2010

From then on things began to fall in place quickly as Jenna's mother began a new publicity blitz which focused on the one thing her daughter could actually do right: Be a whore. Debbie went to work taking slutty photos of Jenna and writing her daughter song lyrics which border on solicitation of sex. Soon Jenna began to get popular as many fans started to follow her. While there is always the risk that this will all eventually lead to Jenna being found naked and beaten to death in a gutter at least she is YouTube popular and that's all that really matters.

Music Videos

Jenna's first big hit "My Jeans" was an ode to ripping her pants off quickly enough so that her father to penetrate her in a timely manner. After all nothing is worse than having mom walk in on the fun. Audience approval was overwhelming as most of Jenna's fans could relate to the lyrics since none of them wore pants while watching her videos anyway. This was the song which catapulted her into superstar status and by superstar I mean girl who turns on horny middle aged men.



After the stellar success of getting pedophiles to masturbate to her daughter in droves Debbie decided it was time to kick things up a notch by having Jenna just come outright and say that she would be up for a little bit of molestation with her next song "OMG". OMG was an apt title as Jenna would be repeating it over and over again in public when strangers would walk up to her and flash her their dicks. The video is remarkably mature considering Jenna Rose is a twelve year old loli. She is in a nightclub dress like a woman in her twenties. Despite the fact that she is prepubescent, she sings as if she is ten years older than she is. To date the video has been seized in numerous raids by the FBI of known child pornographers. When asked why the men possessed the tape they typically responded that Debbie had sent it to them personally.
See Autotune

Jenna's Facebook

She mad.
She's going to call the police... watch out.

Another fine example of how great her parents are, they let her on the computer with full internet access. She checks her fans (that she called "Jennarations") everyday on her page. Provided with even more sluttier pictures of her bitch ass. While being the butthurt idiot she is, she complains about "haters" making fake facebook profiles and pages to troll her. In her world, whoever makes a fake page about her will get "arrested" such as the arguments in this link. All she ever does is brag on how much she wants to be in certain shows to flash her titties and dance around in revealing outfits.

Gallery

Links


Jenna Rose is part of a series on
UnV& Pedophiles [-+]

Aaron WilliamsAdam LanzaAlenonimoAlison RappAmber ButtrumAndy MaherAngryjediAnimatedJamesBeefraveBikerfoxBill CosbyBritbongCamHeadCasey AnthonyChaosscizzorsColonel McBadassComicalityCyraxxCyril SmithDan SchneiderDoomentioDr DisRespectDreamDrossRotzankDaddyOFiveDahvie VanityDangermanDeekerDidaskalosDynacatlovesmeEric RidenourErik MöllerFergie OliverFrank BonafedeGreg MazujianGreville JannerG-ZayGeosheaGalaxyRailways2199Harrison DigfootHumonHypnoHunter MooreIrish282Isabella Loretta JankeJames Terry Mitchell JrJaSonicJerry Peetjervaise brooke hamsterJimmy SavileJoey NigroJohn Patrick RogersJoseph KonyJustin BerryJustin DabrowKaitlyn HuntKatherine MarionKyle PerkinsLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.LittleCloudLtFlaggerLogansperman2Lucian HodobocM. ChaosMagicrichMandoPonyMar9122Michael JacksonMikevirusMatrooko11MZMcBrideNathanrNeil FoxOmegaloreOnideus Mad HatterOnisionPaul WalkerPennywisePurple AkiPutridRalph SquillaceRiverman72Roger SampsonSam DeathWalkerSam RassenfossSarah ButtsShane LeeSibeScientologySethistoSmartschoolboy9Sophie LabelleTheAmazingAtheistThomas Watt HamiltonTimboxTrap-kunTyciolUncle GrandpaUpdownmostlyViolentacrezVonHeltonWoody AllenW. T. SnacksYandereDevYoung Tubers UnitedYtaskZeitgueist

Related Topics [-+]

Jenna Rose is part of a series on

Music

Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.