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ISIS

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Following the American withdrawal from Iraq, a group of batshit insane Arabs decided that they didn't like their government, and so set about creating their own, called the Islamic state, or ISIS. Not to be confused with the ISS, ISIS, also known as the Islamic State in Iraq and in Sham, The Islamic state in Iraq and in the Levant, ISIL,IS, Sweden, The Islamic State, the Islamic caliphate, etc. are a group of crazed sandniggers that are currently pwning most of Iraq and Syria. The group is led by Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi(also known as caliph Ibrahim and big daddy bahdadi). Abu is a Mexican convert who was probably trained by mossad. Isis plans to create a caliphate(Islamic empire) that will spread from Iraqi/Syrian region to Austria, Morocco, India, parts of China, the entire Middle East, and Parts of Africa, assuming they don't get eventually rekt by Assad. They are even recruiting from Britfagistan, including 16 year old girls to provide jihadi brides. The anguished cries of "Too old!" have proven numerous. The group threatens everybody in the middle east. Although they seem like srs bsns they ride around in 1980's pickup trucks. Isis used to be a cell of Al-qaeda. But like a black father, Al Qaeda abandoned them and claims they had nothing to do with them. Recently the occupational ape Obama authorized air strikes on ISIS, which caused mass butthurts amongst the sandniggers. The Islamic state spreads through the biggest cities in Iraq and in Syria. They tried to attack Lebanon but got wrekt in the process.The group claimed authority over all Muslims (but they can't even take over Iraq or Syria). ISIS rose to power in the Syrian civil war (since they were too weak to take power in their home country of Iraq). It is estimated there are 80,000 ISIS soldiers, 50,000 in Syria and 30,000 in Iraq (all of which have erectile disfunction)

Their incredibly shitty flag.
Their incredibly shitty flag.
Isis flag,fixed
Isis territory
Not to be confused with ISIS classic



Social Media

Learning from their child brides, ISIS members have the developed a compulsion to post every aspect of their lives on Twitter or Instagram. Unlike your typical teenage camwhore, however, ISIS tweets tend to be quite lulzy, often involving the beheading of government officials, and the theft of American tanks and kittens. The holy warriors of ISIS may be brutal psychopathic murderers, but they are not without a sense of humor. They shopped a picture of the First Negress after stealing equipment the U.S. had originally given to Iraq.

 
 


Sadly, however, if ISIS were looking for attention, their efforts are all in vain because all the politically illiterate trendies on Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter are having too much fun whining about the wormy kikes in Israel blowing up terrorists poor, innocent, noble Palestinians who'd never hurt anybody than to bother caring about all the atrocities committed by a bunch of butthurt sand niggers.

Strengths

 
Thank you ISIS.

The main asset for ISIS is a huge stock of shiny new Humvees, boy-whores ("bacha bazi"), helicopters, opium, girly magazines, fighter planes, ornamental concrete barricades, power plants, and a huge computer network they can use to identify and kill people at checkpoints who once talked to the wrong guy. They found these neatly tied up in Christmas packages tagged "To Whomever Conquers These Losers", left behind by legions of Iraqi soldiers implementing step 1 in nation-building (run awaaaaaaay!). To this can be added more than $9000 billion in funds they looted from a bank in Mosul, in the form of an IOU from "the guys who embezzled the Americans' mooooney!" They're working on getting it cashed.

Weaknesses

Against the mighty forces of ISIS are arrayed a vast panoply of America's newest friends in the region: Assad, Iran, and Hezbollah. No word yet if the North Koreans are joining in. For $100 million a day the Turks and Saudi Arabia might get involved. The goal is to smash all the ISIS equipment the U.S. provided them, then give America's new friends the same equipment, then replace the equipment for the "liberated" Iraq. At 2% cost plus that's enough profit to buy half the U.S., mostly borrowed from China in exchange for a promise they can put brain implants in future generations and use them for cheap labor.

Gallery

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Links

See also

 

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