Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

James Foley

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Offended?

If you have been offended by "James Foley",
please click here and slowly scroll down to the bottom of the page.


"The pen is mightier than the sword..."
...Oh really now?

James Wright Foley was an American journalist formerly employed by the GlobalPost, Agence France-Presse and Stars and Stripes who is currently working as a horror movie prop and bowling ball. While stationed in Syria he was abducted by US-backed terrorist group the FSA and given to ISIS. US commandos tried to rescue Foley but unfortunately he was beheaded before they could shoot him.

Career

Back when he still had a head, Foley worked as a propagandist for the US government, writing for such imperialist and jingoistic shitrags as Stars and Stripes, which openly opines that the spoiled welfare queens and war criminals in the US military aren't getting enough benefits for murdering a million people in Iraq.

Fun fact: He was a famous pro-wrestler in his heyday.
Thank you based ISIS.
 
 
The Stars and Stripes used illustrations to communicate ideas, especially those aimed at justifying military goals and encouraging the troops' adherence to the war effort. . . . In many cases, the images selected by the editors would be considered propaganda by today's standards. . . . Besides expressing editorial opinion, cartoons entertained the troops, offering them humorous stories and images that satirized everyday life in the military.
 

 

— The origins of Stars and Stripes, The US Library of Congress

At the time of his death, he was working for GlobalPost, for whom he wrote many biased classics, such as this one covering US soldiers in Afghanistan:

 
 
It always amazes me how brave these guys are. But I’m a civilian with no previous military experience. Not only are these guys used to taking fire several times a week, they have leaders – soldiers who have had more than one deployment and performed under many horrific, mind-boggling conditions. One yell or decisive action from such a leader can make all the difference in how the younger soldiers act and ultimately ensure the safety of the entire patrol.

(...)

I find I often have trouble leaving a unit even if I spend only a week with them. These guys would easily risk their own lives to save mine. They are mostly young kids compared to me, and they share everything from sweets they got from their mom to swapping photos and videos.
 


 

— James Foley, wondering if he can suck their army dicks now that Don't Ask, Don't Tell has been repealed

Capture

"Not the time to lose one's head. That's not the way to get ahead in life. It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong. He'll never be the head of a major corporation."

Remember the Free Syrian Army? The American puppet terrorist group trying to overthrow the democratically elected government of Bashar Al-Assad in Syria? The same terrorist group that Obama armed, trained, and sent half a billion dollars to? Guess who they kidnapped? Lol.

 
 
According to Syrian sources who have worked previously to locate and rescue kidnapped journalists in Syria, American journalist James Foley, who was beheaded by Islamic State in a video the militant group made public on Tuesday, was most likely used by another guerrilla group as a token of allegiance to ISIS.

According to those sources, Foley was in the hands of the Dawood Bridgade, a group that was originally aligned with relatively moderate opposition groups such as the Free Syrian Army, but recently pledged allegiance to ISIS.
 


 

Whoops!

Statement

Unaired footage leaked from the director's cut.
My lyrics'll split yer wig, m8.
 
 
I call on my friends, family, and loved ones to rise up against my real killers, the US government. For what will happen to me is only a result of their complacency and criminality.

My message to my beloved parents, save me some dignity, and don't accept some meagre compensation, for my death, from the same people who effectively hit the last nail in my coffin with their recent aerial campaign in Iraq.

I call on my brother John, who is a member of the US air force. Think about what you are doing, think about the lives you destroy, including those of your own family. I call on you John, think about who made the decision to bomb Iraq recently and kill those people, whoever they may have been. Think John, who did they really kill? And did they think about me, you, our family when they made that decision?

I died that day John, when your colleagues dropped that bomb on those people they signed my death certificate. I wish I had more time. I wish I could have the hope of freedom and seeing my family once again. But that ship has sailed. I guess all in all I wish I wasn't American.
 


 

— James Foley, admitting his brother deserves it too

Motive

Next time somebody says Foley was an objective journalist, show them this picture.

Like 9/11 and just about any other Islamic terrorist attack you can think of, the cinematic execution of 7/7 was retaliation for American foreign policy. As the killer himself explains:

 
 
This is James Wright Foley, an American citizen of your country. As a government you have been at the forefront of aggression towards the Islamic State. You have plotted against us and gone far out of your way to find reasons to interfere in our affairs. Your strikes have cause casualties among Muslims. You’re no longer fighting an insurgency. We are an Islamic army and a state that has been accepted by a large number of Muslims worldwide. So effectively, any aggression toward the Islamic State is an aggression toward Muslims of all walks of life who have accepted the Islamic caliphate as their leadership. So any attempt by you, Obama, to deny Muslims their right of living in safety under the Islamic caliphate will result in the bloodshed of your people.
 

 

— Captain Obvious, stating the obvious

Beheading

The Britfag executioner, who is suspected to be Jihadist rapper John L. Jinny (Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary), failed to observe his home country's proper table etiquette by holding the neck-sawing knife in his right hand. We can ascertain from this mistake that he will not be welcome at any high class dinner parties in the near future.

L. Jinny and J. Foley sharing their final moments together on screen

The Sequel

Halp.

Steven Joel Sotloff, an American journalist kidnapped in Syria in August 2013 who has written for TIME and the Christian Science Monitor, makes a brief cameo appearance at the end of the video. The masked killer, who from this point forward we'll refer to as MC Nigel, implies that the man's life will be spared only if Obama stops bombing the Islamic State.

So in other words, we'll be having another beheading video next week . Stand by with popcorn and peanuts.

MC Nigel shining in an earlier starring role

Quotes

 
 
The family of beheaded journalist James Foley have revealed they have watched the gruesome video of his sickening execution.

The footage of the brutal murder was posted on YouTube by IS fanatics after they killed Mr Foley in cold blood on Tuesday.

His father John explained he and his wife had watched the video because “We just needed to know”.

When asked if he could forgive those behind the barbaric act he added: “Not today... but as Christians we have to."
 


 

— Foley's parents, refusing to bury their heads in the sand

Steven Joel Sotloff

GUESS WHAT GUYS! The sequel we told you about actually happened! Firstly his mother begged young Steven's future killers to release him which was hilarious because the old bitch has had way too much plastic surgery and looks like a Gremlin:


She finished the interview without exposing herself to sunlight.

Anyway, after Steven was killed, the pussies in the old media and at LiveLeak were too scared to post the video[1] which left ED as the last bastion of true journalism.


His mother is said to be planning more children by pouring water on herself.

NOTE: The shitty quality is due to the 2MB restriction on picture uploads. Fuck you admins!

 
 

It appears to have been filmed after Mr Foley's, though it is impossible to determine the exact timing.

It shows a masked figure together with Mr Sotloff, who is dressed in an orange jumpsuit.

Mr Sotloff reads out a text addressed to Mr Obama saying: "You've spent billions of US taxpayers' dollars and we have lost thousands of our troops in our previous fighting against the Islamic State, so where is the people's interest in reigniting this war?"

The masked man, whose voice is similar to that of the man who appeared to carry out the beheading of James Foley, then describes the act he is about to commit as retribution for the US air strikes.

"I'm back, Obama, and I'm back because of your arrogant foreign policy towards the Islamic State... despite our serious warnings," the man says.

"We take this opportunity to warn those governments that enter this evil alliance of America against the Islamic State to back off and leave our people alone."

The video ends with the militant threatening to kill a captive who is claimed to be British.
 


 

— Big Black Cock News [2]

The full video with sound and shit is viewable at the following locations, though these sites are also ran by pussies and it might get deleted soon:
1. http://theync.com/pauljones/-brand-new-just-posted-isis-beheading-video-of-american-journalist-steven-sotloff.htm
2. http://i.4cdn.org/b/1409679825353.webm

Jews? In My Caliphate? It's More Likely Than You Think!

Taking sides? Biased? What makes you think that?

After his death it was revealed that Sotloff was an dual Israeli-American citizen:

 
 
An Islamic State video showing the beheading of American-Jewish journalist Steven Sotloff in reprisal for U.S. air strikes in Iraq is authentic, U.S. National Security Council spokesperson Caitlin Hayden said on Wednesday.

"The U.S. Intelligence Community has analyzed the recently released video showing U.S. citizen Steven Sotloff and has reached the judgment that it is authentic," Hayden said in a statement.

An Israeli foreign ministry spokesman confirmed Wednesday afternoon that Sotloff was a dual American-Israeli citizen.
 


 

— Jewspaper [3]

No long article needed to justify his killing then, that'll do it right there. Damnit ISIS, can't you find a proper innocent person to kill rather than propagandists and Jews?

See Also

External Links

James Foley
is part of a series on
Islam
Tro0 Muslims [-+]
Countries & Peoples [-+]
Beliefs, Events, Traditions & Other Drama [-+]
Infidels & Islamic No-Nos [-+]
James Foley
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismCyanismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismRepublicanReconquistaSocialismStoner GuruTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleGirlfriendsMarijuana AddictionGround Zero MosqueMarijuana AddictionMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranMarriageMiller TestMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinAOCB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenH.BidenJ.BidenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerG.BrownS.BrownBunningJim TraficantDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IIChelsea Clinton Hillary Clinton CleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHarrisHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcConnellMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVanceVenturaVitterWalzWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCritical race theoryCuckservativesDemockeryDoomsday ClockG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceUpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential Elections2020 Presidential Elections2024 USA Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communitiesRoe v. Wade

Featured article August 26th & 27th, 2014
Preceded by
MysteriousMrEnter
James Foley Succeeded by
Kotaku