Serbia

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Serbia (also known as Sergaya, Serbitchia or Gayistan) is a nation of Turks and Albanians with small dicks, beautiful men who are chronically submissive to everything that moves. It is also the only country to have an exclusively gay population. Serbs believe themselves to be a "celestial nation" or Jew, although their Turkish genes always gives them away. Their name is derived from "servus" which is Latin for slave or servant. Serbia also did the phenomenal achievement of starting 4 wars in 8 years and losing them all. Serbia went into the wars owning a lot of land given to them by the British, and came out having nothing but bleeding assholes. They loved it and they want more.

Flag of Serbia

Goodnight, sweet prince

Serbia is the gay capital of Europe and enjoys gay visitors from all across the world. Serbia's main exports are bottled Albanian cum, pedophiles, and shit-eating champions. The most intelligent Serb is Boris Malagurski, the famous Wikipedia sockpuppeteer.

Serbia's new famousest person is a totally HAWTT 23-year-old blonde MP who is a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon, and an Amazon who could crush your skull with her totally BUILT thighs. You know a country's schools suck when they produce 23 year old doctors.

History

Serbian prince Paul meeting with unidentified friend

Serbs introducing rakia drinking custom to German tourists.

Serbs defending themselves against fanatical grandmothers.

Serbia's main export

Serbia had no known written history until the early 20th century, except what other countries, such as ancient Rome, said about them. No one in Serbia could read or write, and indeed, even today literacy is less than one percent.

Serbia bears complete responsibility for causing World War I and World War II as well as Communism. On 28 June 1914, a Serbian guy jumped out and shot Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary, who was riding along in a parade. This immediately caused WWI to begin. Because pre-Communist Russia was busy with the war they couldn't prevent the 1917 Russian Revolution. Then, the border rearrangements after WWI got half of Europe completely pissed off, especially the Germans, so WWII began a little while later. Thus, Serbia should be held accountable for hundreds of millions of deaths, including the few hundred of the so-called "holocaust."

Serbia was a nice place a while ago, since it was a first country to be declared Judenfrei but than Commies ruined everything and Kikes came again.

The people of Serbia gang-banged (note: it was not rape, as they yelled 'surprise!') Hep and thus she had a child at 15 years of age. Anyway, gang-banging has a long history in Serbia. In the mid-nineties, Serbs that lived in Bosnia were pissed that they couldn't enjoy roast pork, so they asked for help from their big neighbor. Being refused, the Serbian troops entered the Islamic parts of Bosnia in order to wipe out every Muslim that dared to appear in the center of the AK 47's reticule. The Muslims got heavily pwned and since that day, pork is available again. Momentarily, Serbia is pissed due to death of their much-idolized former president Slobby Milosevic, a very fine man whose habit of slaughtering people and having their flesh fed to Albanian kids might appear strange to some people. If you are one of these people, you need a cultural sensitivity class. Serbs also have a tendency to blame Shqiptars for their problems. Kosovo, previously a southern province of Serbia, has finally decided to declare their independence. Of course, Serbia still thinks of them as their bitches, and Russia is with them, so there will probably be fun times. But honestly, Russia fucks Serbia on a daily basis. They make sweet lemon faggy juice.

Culture

Serbian architecture

Serbian president Niko Bellic-became popular after his role in GTA IV.

Serbian people are constantly crazed about stealing land in Europe which leads them to never shut up about the Yugoslav wars. Scientific research clearly show that serbs are sexually aroused by war and death. They possess a disorder all Serbs have which is their sexual desire towards the now dead Slobodan Milosevic & his anti-Bosnian speeches; to find them they use the internets videos featured on YouTube (which they wank off to every night) since they have a strong interest in necrophilia.

Serbia has a very skewed image of reality thus causing them to think their country "PAWNZZZ." Serbians often brag because their country fired one missile at the NATO forces, but really never admit that they were defeated when NATO fired their shit back; Serbians will continue to insult anyone who doesn't think the same way, but they secretly know their country is the smelliest and worst shit hole in all of the Balkans. Most Serbs have absolutely absurd and impractical names such as Bojan, Sasko, Djordjevic or Shithead. It's well known that Serbians have massive cocks the world's hueeeegest ego, thus loving to show their Serbian pride by waving their national flag with its stolen colors at any given time or lying about their dick size on ED.

Slađa,some random dickhead has got a song which translates to "Go in deep". That is definitely not a faggot in disguise.There are some other faggots in disguise,however,like Shaban Shaulic and other Serbtards. Be aware that listening to too much turbo folk can cause severe brain damage,mental disorders,assburgers,coma and potentially the most pathetic way to die,or it can lead to another Columbine.For lulz go and play turbofolk to some random person on the street and watch their head explode.Or if they survive they will call the police for attempted murder.

A advantage of being a Serbtard is that you can pick a day when you don't want to work and say you are having something which Serbtards call slava.Apparently its something like opening your anus to every one you like and let them invade your anus for one to 3 days.Hosting a feast entails the following:Pay to make a feast,let your close ones eat some shit which nobody cares about,then do whatever you want,but usually you lay down and spread your asshole for everyone to fuck.By the time everyone has gone home, it should be 1/2 am and tomorrow you have work,and your butt hurts because all of your close ones and you did some Serbian style "bonding".

The Serbian rite of passage usually occurs at the age of 19, and is defined as the first time that a Serbian can go to the toilet without covering themselves in shit. Any Serbian who manages this earlier parades this fact around, and is often an icebreaker at fancy parties. Indeed, the Ottomans humored themselves by finding the youngest person to achieve this, a tradition that is still ongoing. Today, the competition (through the aid of mechanical devices and genetics) has revealed the youngest person to be 14 years old. Following the tradition, each new record breaker is crowned King of the Serbians, the latest title holder is Tomislav Nikolić.

Film

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Economy

The average wage in Serbia is able to cover the costs of food, alcohol, shelter, drugs, and the traditional daily blowjob. Blowjob workers make up a considerable amount of the public sector workforce, and recently heavy competition from Albania has driven down prices, forcing blowjob workers to suck even harder.

Other jobs with high numbers of employed include car window cleaning, selling phonebooks and newspapers to moving cars, and selling drugs. The last profession is the highest paid in Serbia, and is mostly done as an attempt to earn enough money to leave the country.

Camwhores and rap music are also quickly developing industries, although the poor quality of both has led to little breakthrough in international markets.

Rakija

Mentioning serbija is not possible without mentioning Rakija, a drink deeply intertwined with the people, religion and culture in general. On the surface Rakija appears to be a localy made fruit brandy with multiple regional variations, but nothing could be further from the truth. In reality Rakija is an incredibly addictive and monstrously corrosive liquid pretending to be an alcoholic beverage, which people drink not to forget, but to erase decades, not to numb their pain but to get rid of emotions alltogether. Some lesser brands will have pussy-editions which are only distilled once, and are sold to tourists or preschoolers, while the real deal will reach 80% or more, it is usually made in Grandpa's Backyard on the family-still which has wheels and is therefore mobile. This is not done to evade the law, since all of this is completly legal, distilling Rakija is not restricted as long as you dont sell it, it is done to deploy that fucker to the areas where he is needed the most. If you havent trained your organs from an early age to take a painful pounding from hard liqour, we advise against a full-on drinking session with experienced consumers. Vodka intoxication may hit you like a sledge hammer to the forehead, Rakija will hit you like 4 centuries of ottomann oppression, pillage your intestines and set your liver on fire, so operating heavy machinery should be out of the question. If you however insist on trying here is a handy guide:

How and where to get it?

The regular stuff will be sold in supermarkets etc. for as littel as 10€, the superior home made shit can be bought from farmers, or angry looking young boys and girls sitting next to a country road, dsiplaying their product in unmarked bottles, on a wooden crate. This is indeed illegal, but since it is happening on the balcans the police has more important stuff to do and will not bother them, but you should mention this fact when haggling.

Terminology

• meka (soft/mild) distilled once, usually drunk by Moms to take the edge off, dont buy.
• prepecenica distilled twice, much better
• ljuta (hot/angry) just that
• Sljivovica made from Plums
• Lozovaca made from Grapes

Activities

• Stay hydrated
• Party
• Near Death Experiences
• War Crimes
• Draft Legislation
• Loud screaming
• Founding an orthodox christian Monastery

Health and othr Uses

If taken in moderation (lol) Rakjia can be beneficial for ones health:

• A potent desinfectant, kills micro organisms, AND large multicellular ones
• Painkiller
• Helps with depression
• Helps with muscle pain
• Can be used to remove Lables and Stickers
• Can power a combustion engine

Minorities

Kebab Removalist

Serbian women use their super powered tits to destroy invaders.

Serbia is a cesspit for people from all over the world. One of the most common subgroup are the gypsies. And no, these are not those "weird people who live in tents and read your palm for $10" gypsies. They can usually be seen rummaging through trash cans, riding horse-pulled carriages down busy roads and raping girls in alleys. Their most defining features are lack of teeth, lack of limbs, lack of language understandable to human beings, clothes which are third-hand at best, an odor that can knock a pigeon out over 100 yards away and a mean look whenever they pass you on the street.

The Serbian gypsy is a mix of a hobo and the worst kind of black person. Nevertheless, they are a recognized mystical force which gives Serbia its legendary fame, so every Serb follows the ancient custom of offering their firstborn daughter to the first Gypsy cock.

If a Gypsy in Serbia stops you in the street and says he has to go to toilet, here is what to do:

1. Stay calm
2. Call your Serbian friend and tell them you ran into a Gypsy
3. They will arrive ASAP and open their mouth in front of the Gypsy's penis and/or anus. It is considered a great honour in Serbia to show your place in racial hierarchy in this way.

Other minorities include niggers, recent arrivals. They quickly cornered the Serbian bride market and can be commonly seen raping Serbs' wives in their plain sight.

Sexual minorities

A typical Serb has conflicted feelings about his homosexuality

Sexual majority

Serbia is a nation blessedly free from the hang-ups of Americunts who want to "make love not war". Serbians know that they can make love and war at the same time, and profit! After long years of pointless rivalry with Bosnia, they hit upon a great plan for a merger: take over the country, take over the women! The Beatles even sang a couple of songs about it...

Chorus: I'd like to be / on "God" duty / at a prisoner of whore camp / with you

You'd be afraid / fresh from a raid / in our little hideaway / in the Balkan Mounts

I'd ask my friends to come and see-eee / and take a turn / right after me! [chorus]

Oh you would shout / and twist about / and try to keep the boys from between your thighs

Oh you would scream / and dance around / except of course ... you're gagged and bound! [chorus]

I know you / will never tell on me / cuz I've loaded up this pistol just for you

You'll never tell / this side of Hell / cuz I've set aside these bullets ... for you-oo-oo-oo-oo-oowoo

Oh darlin' / please believe me / I never did you / no harm

Believe me when I tell you / I never did / nothin' wrong

When they told me / I was a war criminal / well you know, I nearly broke down, and la-ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-aughed

But when they told me / they'd gone and frozen my accounts -- well you know, that's when I promised / my wra-aa-aath!

So darlin' / do believe me / If you tell my men will hunt / your ass down

(Oh believe me darlin'!)

You hear me when I tell you / I nev-er did / noth-in' wrong!

Serbia for Tourists

There are also some further tips for other budding foreigners whom wish to travel to this failed state.

• While driving a car that has a Croatian plate on it, if you park it and go into a store in Serbia, 5 minutes later you will find the car to be pissed on, with their raped firstborn lying on top. This is considered a warning, after which it is advised that you make eye contact with them. This will make them offer their butt for penetration, which is a custom reflecting their geopolitical history.

• Positive feelings towards any country other than Serbia, or their Master, is considered to be in poor taste. Saying that anybody owns Kosovo other than Serbia may cause them to cry. Submissive fags are often very possessive of their masters.

Turbo Folk

Pics of Serbs

Србиjа About missing Pics

• 
  NOT KEBAB
• 
  NOT A GYPSY
• 
  NOT NAZIS
• 
  NOT RAPISTS
• 
  NOT HOBOS
• 
  NOT TERRORISTS
• 
  NOT SUBHUMAN
• 
  NOT PATHETIC

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See Also

Fantard cosplay

• Kosovo
• Russia
• War
• Slavs
• Alcohol

External links

• "Why I think Slobodan Milosevic is the most influential politician of our time" (Archived: 1 2)

Article of the Now November 5 & 6, 2022
Preceded by Kanye West	Serbia	Succeeded by Alcohol