Palestine

It has been suggested that this country should be merged with Israel. Please promote the peace process by giving all your Jew-gold to AIPAC.

This country is a WARZONE — There are profound lulz to be had, if anyone survives to report it. Fingers crossed for further drama.

Palestine (Arabic: فلسطين), also known as Fuck-You-I-Was-Here-First-Land is the drama headquarters of the world; no single place in the world has generated this much drama since Nazi Germany. Palestine continually gets pwned by Israel, and Palestinians, due to their racial handicap, are prone to spontaneous detonation, causing much annoyance and lulz. The Palestinians lived in Palestine since the Muslims raped the Byzantines, while the Jews lived there since before lolitas were invented. According to Rachel Corrie, this makes the Palestinians the indigenous, native people of the land. Most recently, Palestinians in Gaza generated enormous drama on the world stage. It has been suggested that Palestinians have just as much of a persecution complex as do Jews.

Flag of Palestine
Palestine
Name	State of Palestine دولة فلسطين‎ (Arabic) ~~מְדִינַת יִשְׂרָאֵל‎ (Hebrew)~~
National Anthem	~~Kike Poem~~ Fida'i
Goverment	~~Islamic Theocracy Emirate~~ Semi-Presidental Republic
Capital	Jerussalem (de Facto)
Independence Day	November 15, 1998
Leader	Mahmoud Abbas (President) Mohammad Shtayyeh (Prime Minister)
Ethic Groups	Majority: Palestinian Arabs Minority: Palestinian Jews
Currency	None Egyptian Pound Israeli Shekel Jordanian Dinar
Religion	Islam Christianity Judaism
Population	5 Million

Islamic Jihad

Muslims of all variations believe in one thing: That Jews should be killed and Israel should be taken over by Muslims. Therefore, in 1997 the "Jihad" was founded. Jihad (Arabic for clubhouse), is a community center in Ram allah where absolutely no Jews are allowed! Some Jew once attempted to enter Jihad, but they were turned away promptly. Smaller "Jihad" franchises are popping up all over the world. It is estimated that by 2017, all Palestinians will have died due to attempting to operate Slurpee machines using only one arm. Recently, Internet Jihadis have been pwned. See jihadunspun.com.

Palestine and Statistics

The Palestinians as a nation owe their existence to a paradox in statistics. Consider this:

If you say that Arabs lost about 1% of their turf - the part which has absolutely no oil - it doesn't sound like much.
But if you say that the Palestinians were bestolen half their precious homeland, it suddenly sounds like a lot, even though it's only half of nothing. It's like that time when you found that ex-boyfriend of yours two-timing with that tranny whore.
Thus, some of the Arabs now call themselves "Palestinians". This makes their claim to the land called "Palestine" fully justified, and international solidarity follows.

The only reason why those camel fuckers call themselves "Palestinians" is so that their claim to the Holy Land of Israel would appear legit to morons. In plain English, Palestinians are towelhead camel-fucking whining poverty-stricken sub-human parasites camped out on the Israelis' front lawn trying to drum up enough of a pity party to hold back the bulldozers from trashing their Occupy Batshit Crazy Religious Landmarks protest.

History

Emperor Vespasian took the Jews out of Palestine and gave it to the Muslims in the name of Lulz and Allah

Summary

Canaanites were the first to happily inhabit Palestine, but then Hell summoned the Jews, and lulz ensued: the Israelites raped the Canaanites, the Assyrians raped the Israelites, the Babylonians raped the Assyrians, the Persians raped the Babylonians (and freed the Jews), the Greeks raped the Persians, the Jews raped the Greeks, the Romans raped the Jews (various times), the Byzantines also raped the Jews, the Sunni Arabs raped the Byzantines, the Shia Arabs raped the Sunni Arabs, the Crusaders raped the Arabs, the Mamelucks raped the Crusaders, the Ottomans raped the Mamelucks, the British raped the Ottomans, the British left, the neo-Jews raped the Palestinians, and the Palestinians raped themselfs (see suicide bomber).

Roman period

Jews lived in the land before Islam even existed. When the Romans invaded ancient Israel at least 2,000 years ago, the Jews were afraid. They were petrified, and thought the wops were there to stay. Then they spent so many nights thinking how the Romans did them wrong, and thought that they grew strong and that they knew how to get along. Shortly after killing the Lord and savior of all mankind in cooperation with the Roman state, they tried to kick the Romans out, but of course most of them did not survive and were subsequently punished with 2,000 years of epic fail. In fact the Roman Emperor Vespasian said "ALL YOUR LAND ARE BELONG TO ME!!!!" and sent the legions along with a healthy contingent of Arab mercenaries.

After severely pwning the Jews he took two thirds of the population and scattered them all across Europe for the lulz. To thank the Arab Muslims for their help, he let them settle Israel and call it "Palestine". And that’s how Allah gave the holy land to the Muslims. If you say Palestine belongs to Jews, you hate Allah and you disrespect the great Roman emperor. This is why if somebody ever took something from you even though Allah or Emperor Vespasian told you it's yours, you've been Palestined.

Palestine Remembered

How Palestine should have been divided.

The British Mandate of Palestine was established in 1922 and included today's Israel and Jordan (called Transjordan back in the day). Both Jews and Arabs lived in Palestine long before that happened. First the Arabs got Jordan, then they got the so-called "Palestinian territories" Judea, Samaria and Gaza, and now they want the rest of Israel too.

There is also a Palestine organisation called "Palestine Remembered", who remember Palestine as a sort of country which Jews invaded in 1948. Never mind that this never actually happened - what they are doing is similar to how your theRapist helps you "remember" that you were molested as a child. Although it's probably true in your case.

Gaza Blockade

Why do the Jews actually bother doing that blockade crap when they could spend their time polishing Jew Gold instead? The thing is, Gaza is ruled by Hamas mudslime, and they insist on playing with Quassam fireworks in the Israel's backyard. This seriously scares the Jew dogs (dogs are really scared of fireworks BTW), and so to stop them, Jews decided to wage a real war, permabanning about 1,000 Hamas supporters. Hamas still insists on playing with their fireworks and they are still planning to permaban all of Israel one day. The latter actually does worry the Jews, because who knows how things will be in 50 or 100 years? They could very well end up back in Holocaust or Gulag.

Nothing short of a final permaban of all Palestinians would stop the fireworks, and even the Jews thought that that would be a little disproportionate. So instead, they decided to shut off Gaza from everything except food, hoping that Hamas would eventually get tired of playing and leave.

In a more recent development, Jews decided to permaban the Hamas fireworks chief Abdullah Aikillal Yehudim. This resulted in a joyous Palestinian mob firing all of their fireworks at once, ensuring that the lulz will continue for decades to come. However, thanks to the sharp eyes, quick reflexes, and keen detective work of the Israeli Defense Force, only 12,000 fireworks have crossed the border into Palestine, which still makes them more effective than the American border patrol and their War on Drugs.

There was also some drama when a bunch of peace-loving Muslim Brotherhood hippies tried to jump the Gaza blockade and replenish Gaza's fireworks supply. Jew commandos managed to stop them, but not before discovering that, like most Palestinians, these "peace-loving" muslims were actually armed with pipes and batons. As the common saying "don't bring a pipe to a gunfight" doesn't translate well into Arabic, Moar lulz ensued.

Moar info: Freedom Flotilla.

The people of Gaza are in a dire situation indeed.

How to make a HAMAS Hero!

When the child is ready, the Palestinian parent will send him to learn how to be an hero. Here is what the children will learn at the HAMAS camp:

Or, if you live in England and you are an activist, as well as musical talent you can make a crappy song about how evil Israel is and gain some awards for it, and you can become a hero as well once it becomes good.

If you don't belive it, try this yourself!

Typical kids' playground on the Gaza Strip. These sliding boards were intended for use by Jewish kids, but the Model Rocketry Club plays here a lot lately.

Kid's TV

Denmark

This shit is as real as Marilyn Manson is ugly. In this video, the fluffy pink bunny and the cute little girl tell children to go to Denmark and kill a few people. Encyclopedia Dramatica supports this message 100% (that is unless it interferes with the output of Muhammad cartoons). When the DVD is released, you should buy it for your own child, along with a one-way ticket to Copenhagen.

(Confirmation in a CNN article, Norwegian newspaper article)

Other Stuff

Other examples of how children are brainwashed for hatred by a fascist regime.

Previous Video | Next Video

Mein Summer Kampf

Also known as the Jihad summer camp. Nuff said. Oh, and it's funded by the UN.

The best lulz start around @15:00

The Catastrophe

The granddaddy of all Palestinians

Guess which one of the following events is called "the catastrophe" by the Palestinians:

Chernobyl Catastrophe NO
The Great Irish Famine NO
Khmer Rouge Cambodian Genocide NO
Halabja poison gas attack, Anfal Genocide NOPE
Holocaust LOLOLOLOL
Triassic–Jurassic mass extinction event NO
The Palestinians decided to walk about 50 km in 1948. YES!

Yes, the Arab word for catastrophe or calamity is "Al-Naqba", and the Palestinians use it exclusively for that one hike in '48.

Apartheid Wall

Keeping the Palestinians separated from the Jews with a wall is Apartheid, because the Palestinians like to blow up Jews just as much as those damn niggas wanted to vote.

Fun Facts

Fighting the good fight.

Palestinians are a made-up race, like the Vulcans. In essence, they're just Jordanians gone wrong.
According to the United Nations and the Boston Globe, the average resident of Gaza requires a half a ton of flour daily to survive. Man, those motherfuckers can eat!
About 700,000 Arabs were punted out of Israel in 1948. They immediately started fucking like wild animals and now number about four million. It's like leaving a rabbit cage unattended, goddamnit.
Were they kicked out or were they actually stupid enough to leave voluntarily? The Jews claim that "The faggots left Israel so that their pussy Arab friends could go kill teh j00s" [1]. Be what may, the result is six million subsisting on a GDP roughly equaling the value of Oskar Schindler's watch. With no access to oil or social security checks, Arabs have no way out of poverty.
Palestinians are known to be the biggest emotional blackmailers on the face of the Earth.
Palestine is less a state, and more the world's biggest high-security prison for terrorists, with Israeli settlers acting as prison guards.
The Palestinian Authority have named a street in Ramallah AND a street in Jenin after prolific terrorist Yahya Ayyash, a man who killed 101 Israeli citizens and injured another 338 between 1993 and 1996.
The only way for Arab-Jew conflict to end is for the Jews to exterminate roughly 6 million Muslim Arabs.
The Palestinians are living proof the Leftards would have been 100% A-OK with The Holocaust, had The Nazis not been white.
DO IT YOU FAGGOTS, DO IT!!!

Other stuff Palestinians don't want you to know about

Palestinians were kicked out of Kuwait for supporting Saddam Hussein, they were kicked out of Jordan for trying to set up state within a state, they were nearly kicked out of Lebanon (for starting a civil war), and are generally disliked in the Arab countries. So it's kinda the same status as Jews enjoyed in Europe circa 1930.
Between 800,000 to 1,000,000 Jews left the Arab countries and moved to Israel, which is more than the number of Arabs who left Israel. So why do we only ever hear about the "Palestinians"? It's simple, they actually outdid the Jews in bitching about it.
The Palestinians are actually filthy Greeks who invaded the Levant around 1100 BC, which comes at least 900 years after the appearance of the covetous Hebrews from which lineage we now enjoy our modern oligarchy of investment banking overlords.
After Israel built a fence to keep the Palestinians out, Egypt had to do the exact some thing on their side because they started suicide bombing them instead of the Jews. This in spite of the fact that Egypt gives them money.

To whom does Palestine belong?

To the Jews, ever since they turned it into Israel.

But wait! According to Jewish scriptures and Torah Law, no, the Jews shouldn't have a country until the Messiah comes, which is the King, and must be from the lineage of King David, combined with the fact that the founders of the Zionist state are Atheists, and since it becomes a rapist and pedophile haven as of 2016, then Palestine belongs to Palestinian Arab Muslims, as well Christians, and Jews (no Israel nationality).

Trolling Palestinians and Their Western Groupies

If engaged in a boring conversation about Palestine with a liberal, act confused and ask them to point out the country on a map for you.
If engaged with said Arab/Liberal ask them to explain why Jordan isn't for Palestinians and then watch them stutter and bullshit and ridicule them as they do so.
Ask them if the suffering of other, non-Palestinian Islamic citizens (like those of Darfur) is anywhere as important as the suffering of Palestinian people. You might want to read "Wikipedia:Genocide in Darfur" first, because the conflict is heavily shushed in the Arab Media and most of those fucktards haven't even heard of the place.
Americans have been known to engage in Israeli bulldozer tag but seem unfamiliar with the rules.
If an Arab starts bitching about the Christian Palestinians whom the evil Jews forced to flee to the United States, point out that at least over 90% of Israelis of all ethnic groups are dreaming of emigrating to the United States. The main motivation for this also shared by all ethnic groups, and it is to get away from the (other) Arabs.
Interpret their faggotry "in the wrong ways." Say you understand their desire to reclaim their country and ways because you support Trump's wall and anti-immigrant policies. Use the idea of an Israeli ceasefire as an example of the Paradox Of Tolerance. Pretend to be "on their side" but just say "yeah, like I said" and repeat yourself every time they correct you.

Solving the Palestinian problem

Temporarily convert all the Palestinians to Judaism
Palestinians now can go back to Israel and claim their lost lands
?????
PROFIT!

Gallery

About missing Pics

Failistinian butthurt ensues
Subaru - official anti-terrorist car
Typical plaestinians

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Fair justice from a different angle
KFC Gaza Strips
Gaza's new blockbuster!
For great justice]]
Ironically, ~~Palestine~~ Syria is the largest producer of American flags in the world
Palestinian Liberation Army, special unit Delta.
What the lefties want you to believe. Pro tip: no, they are Arabs.
Israelis and Palestinians work together to keep the drama going
National Animal of Palestine.
"More tea to warm you up, Yasser?"
Palestinian fashion 2016]]
Palestinians love peace, but they prefer this. ( sauce )
Palestine's national anthem
Hamas killing a dude, ostensibly because he snitched.

Palestinian faggot tries to throw a molotov, instead sets himself on fire

As you can see in the last 2 pictures he gets beaten by his buddies for doing a shit job.

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Videos to troll Palestinians with

Palestinians give kikes a run for their money, when it comes to butthurt.

Discaimer No palestinians were harmed during the making of this commercial. Damn.