Cyraxx

This person is a sick fuck!

They should never be trusted by anyone!

Possible side-effects will include at least one of these:

ATTENTION!

The subject of this article is a lolcow, and is currently ripe for milking.

You can help by trolling the shit out of them whenever you see them, then laughing at their lulz-inducing theatrics.

	“	LEAVE ME, MY FAMILY, AND MY FRIENDS ALONE!	„
	—Cyraxx's catchphrase

Come at me, bro
Cyraxx
Real name	Chance Wilkins
Born	May 24th 1990
Race	White
Nationality	American
Twitch	coffee_and_chill (nope baleeted)

Cyraxx (Powerword: Chance Wilkins), appropriately known as the Pedo Goblin of Akron and Code 43, is a 32-year-old sexually repressed, basement-dwelling, narcissistic and delusional manchild. Failing at his dream to become a world-famous musician, Chance revealed himself to be incredibly gullible, as well as reprehensible, and unwittingly caused his own downfall recording hundreds of videos of him screaming at his trolls. Known for being a compulsive liar, grandma abuser and plagiarist, the common saying of "don't judge a book by its cover" might apply here, but Chance's appearance is every bit as disgusting as his personality. Almost daily, Chance tries to guilt-trip unsuspecting people with crocodile tears and threats of suicide, which hardly ever works, and only reveals how manipulative and false he can be. Think Chris-Chan but even more of a ghoul, more open racism and homophobia, and more willing to engage in criminality.

Early Career

Although he started netizenship in 2009, Cyraxx would first make himself known a year later, starting his music "career" in 2010. Going by the insanely cool name of "DJ Shadowblayde", Chance would record himself mumbling into the camera, bumping into walls as he wailed some ungodly noise, insisting he was going to be the next hip hop sensation. Chance setup his own record label, Killer Clown Records, to avoid being taken advantage of by the evil suits which is a common mistake in the music industry. Only problem is that Killer Clown Records CEO is incompetent and uneducated, Chance knew next to nothing about what a record label does. Chance isn't just a future-famous rapper, he's also a prodigy game developer and auteur movie director. In 2014, Chance claimed he was working on a Resident Evil clone that had Call of Duty style gameplay. He announced the development of this game in a random video before never mentioning it again; this being one of many examples of his delusion. In 2018, Chance released his debut thriller, "The Darkness", a 20 minute "film" that was more boring than funny, only proving that Chance can't act or direct for love nor money.

Chance's first taste of internet fame came from his vlogs called "Inside the shadows". Ranting incoherently into his camera, Chance's video about his hatred of Juggalos and the rules that come with being a Juggalo, got quite popular, although this was probably because people saw Chance as a strange internet freakshow, not as some brilliant critic of clown-themed rappers. This video was quickly followed up with a room tour, which revealed that Chance was living in the basement, surprising no one. While this was going on, Chance had been sending out applications for other (real) music labels, eventually landing him to be signed on with Erik Skrubbalo, who felt sorry for the deformed freak. This would be a mistake though, as Chance quickly stole Erik's music and claimed it was his own, as well as ditching his DJ Shadowblayde title and renaming himself Cyrax, after one of Erik's albums. Once he had stolen all that he could, Chance just left the label and started making fun of it, believing himself to be more popular than Erik, likely because of his YouTube channel going somewhat-viral. He even threw the labels dog tags into a river, thinking he could do better. When asked why he did this, Chance lied that his mother convinced him to quit the real label and throw the dog tags away.

Trolling

Chance was noticed by the trolls rather quickly who used his delusions of grandeur to trick him into signing fake music deals, feeding into his fantasy that his music was getting popular. One of the most notable trolls created the fake persona Music Biz Marty, and was one of the first to troll him with fake deals and praise, offering him to sign onto his record label, "Ram Ranch Records". Marty eventually convincing Chance to confide in him with all his shameful secrets and insecurities, which Marty would later leak leading to Chance becoming insanely paranoid. This paranoia can't have been that bad though, as Chance continued talking about himself, most likely enjoying all the attention.

Chance is a blatant plagiarist, stealing art and music from the likes of Deviantart and Soundcloud, making barely any edits and passing them off as his own; Chance even tries to sell them. He doesn't even bother to make a cover nor draw his plagiarized art in his own style. In one instance, a German musician called him out on youtube and asked him to credit him. Expectedly, Cyraxx bitched about it and raged against him.

Cyraxx refuses to get a job (and he's never even held one), believing that he's not there yet in his career and doing so would be "taking time away from his work". He cites Daniel Radcliff for this, even though Daniel was 11 when he started his career and Cyraxx is in his 30s. Instead he relies on his granny Sally for any kind of financial support, mooching off her SSI checks in the form of allowance he does for chores. Out of Cyraxx's decade-spanning "career", he has made a grant total of (at most) $5.81.

The Hopeless Romantic

When you work in the music world, especially the hip hop and rap scene, it's inevitable that you get with the bitches. Chance quickly found his love in Tangerine Cat, his new online girlfriend. Sadly for Chance, he didn't know his girlfriend was actually a troll, who only spoke to him in email which had never struck him as odd. Chance had issues remaining faithful Tangerine, as when eager "female" fans begged him for a sexy picture or two, Chance would send pictures of his crooked penis. When his emails got leaked by Marty, Tangerine threatened to leave Chance when it was revealed he was talking pretty intimately to another girl, Martina666, cheating on his one true sweetheart. In reality, Marty had been instructing Tangerine to pretend to date Chance while he assumed the Martina identity and convinced Chance for pictures of his asshole. Chance, who still believing his girlfriend to be real, lied in hopes of winning her back claiming his flirtatious messages to other chicks was just banter. Marty was able to pull this stunt off a second time, bringing Chance and his new fake girlfriend Strawberry Sunshine onto a stream in which Marty revealed Chance has been talking dirty to another one of Marty's alts. Strawberry swiftly dumped Chance on air, whilst he threatened to commit suicide.

Chance's first real girlfriend, Abby, only spoke to him online over facetime, and while not much is known about her, photos show her to be incredibly fat, and have a hook for a hand as a result of a failed suicide by train. She broke up with him when his Facebook account was hacked and revealed he has been cheating on her. There was also Heather, another fat girlfriend who left her lesbian relationship and children for Chance. She actually met Chance many times, moving in with him and she can be seen behind him in a lot of his videos, creating earthquakes with her every step. It seems Chance has a type. When Heather left Chance, he made multipole angry videos crying and screaming about her, claiming she must have been a troll that only dated him to break his spirit. In reality, he was given a chance and he squandered it, just like the record label deals and the many shots at redemption he'd been given.

This, however, was the tip of the iceberg. Starting towards the end of 2020 into 2021, a former moderator named Masshole Report turned against him. Posing as an underage girl, Cyraxx would send his dickpics and nudes to her, and this was after she told him she was underage. Once it all came out, Cyraxx got sucked into even more trolling. More girls would come out, confiding to the masshole that Cyraxx had sent them sexually explicit material when they were underage. It seems Chance also has another type.

Sexual Assault and Regular Assault

Chance has many talents like being digusting, pedophilic, or a sexual deviant. He has frequented places that kids go to, such as Pokemon Go, with the purpose of grooming them for sex. Time and time again, he has been catfished by people who have explicitly stated they were underage, and this has contributed to his rage when they speak out about their experiences with him. In fact, this was the main factor that got him descended into cowdom. Be warned that his pickle is the most horrifying thing about him, as it makes Chris-Chan's pickle look like sweet dreams.

Among his other disgusting habits, Cyraxx will send his dickpics without provocation, even as early as the first response to someone who wants to establish a relationship with him. Another instance is him shoving a stylus up his ass, and licking that shit-tainted stick on stream. While Chance was in high school, he raped a blind boy and was pulled out from his school. Why he didn't get put on the sex offender database is anyone's guess. On February 14, 2012, Chance got his ass arrested for strangling his grannie. He would be sent to counselling, which has done absolutely fuck-all to temper his Goblin rage.

In 2012, Chance strangled his grandmother, the woman that had looked after him all his life, for no reason other than it being an impulse he decided to act on. The state dropped the charges against Chance cuz he was too retarded. Even though Sally and the state really could have fucked him up legally, she still choose to pity and look after him. As it turns out, this wasn't the last time he's done it. He doesn't deserve her.

Being an abusive white trash troglodyte, Sally needed to be in protective custody 24/7. This duty of guardian was originally done by his late uncle Billy (he was also the one to have called in the cops in the strangling incident) but as he eventually died, Cyraxx used that to reclaim his dominance over the granny. Following Billy's death, Ed became the new guardian, and Cyraxx would regularly commit domestic violence against both Sally and Ed, to the point that they're living away from him despite being in the same household so they won't have to deal with his retarded fistfights and shouting matches ever again.

Rage

Aside from his sexual deviancy and pedophilia, Cyraxx excels in exploding in tard rage. Almost immediately in a stream he is in, he wil explode. Cyraxx claims that the trolls are after his family and his friends but in reality, the most they're after is just him. Whenever people talk about him, especially when they reveal him the truth, he will yell over them so as to drown out what they're saying. When that isn't enough, he will flash out his penis to try to the streams taken down and the people banned. Also he'll yell the hard r on stream. In one instance, Cyraxx was so consumed with rage that Shmeckle Cat once offered him a bet of $100 not to rage that day and he lost immediately. He will also throw shit at the wall in rage, destroying them. Cyraxx believes that he can snap somebody in half like a twig, but he's 4'9" and can barely lift shit. If anything, he's the one who can get snapped in half like a twig. Also, he will goad people into coming to his house to fight him so they can prove to him they're not a coward, but the Goblin will be the one cooping up in his attic cuz he knows he'll get fucked hard and deep. Cyraxx has repeatedly threaten to kill his trolls (mainly Masshole Report, Music Biz Marty and William Gloryhole) but he's too much of a coward and can't drive for shit.

All in all, these bouts of rage have costed his Grandmother a thousand dollars in repairs, and plenty of police visits, so much so that they pesonally know him by name. The police know that all the Goblin is is nothing but fluff whenever he bitches and moans to the cops about his internet bullies.

Family Horror

Cyraxx has lived with Sally, his grandmother, for virtually his whole life and you can take a guess why. Like any other intolerant inbred freak, Chance's father was in prison for most of his childhood, and his mother was unable to look after him. He has other siblings (one of whom being an elder sibling born 26 weeks before him) but they don't want to talk to him or know him. The only brother that did bother, Bill, died due to cancer, though it may also have been due to being a faggot. He was never visited by Chance in the hospital as he died from his faggotry.

Chance's father, Ruple Marx, now Oengus Ravenwood, is a convicted sex offender who served a 20-year-sentence for raping a 14-year-old girl on a bike path at the age of 25. When his friends saw an artist's impression of the perpetrator and told him it was him, he repeatedly denied it. After serving his sentence, Oengus relocated to Anchorage and got a new job and seemingly put his past behind, but Marty and Shmeckle cat managed to track him down and expose him as still being a pedo when they discovered that out he was posting images of underage boys in drag on pinterest. He was promptly fired, and confronted them about it on stream, saying it was for "trans kid awareness" because his coworker was allegedly fired for transphobia. He still denied that he raped that 14-year-old girl before finally admitting to it. In spite of his, he's still unrepentant for what he did.

Cyraxx's mother, Connie Jean, was a retard par excellence. Diagnosed as being almost brain dead, she was banned from looking after Chance, since it took her three years to learn how to drive a car when it should normally take one year at most. She burnt down her whole house down trying to cook something on the stove and died in the blaze, all thanks to her being such a retard. She drank while pregnant with Chance, which would explain how he ended up such a freak.

Chance's grandfather is also a pedo rapist, getting married to his grannie Sally when she was 14-15 and he was 25 years of age. Sally's final child was when she was 18, having had four kids since 14. Following her final child, she filed for divorce but her husband got them in the end, though they still were loyal to her than to him. Grandad would go on to have four more kids post-Sally.

Chance's extended family are aware of his reputation and (rightully) terrified of being sucked into his goblin den and hounded on by the trolls. They also want absolutely nothing to do with him, as not only do they see how nothing short of delusional his "career" is, they won't take him in once the granny is dead. We already know how this is gonna end.

The (Mis)adventures on Twitch

During June of 2022, Cyraxx had the brilliant idea of streaming on twitch, hoping he can get away from the trolls and try to do things he wanted to by himself (and make money his way). However, just like on his YouTube channel, Cyraxx continued singing and dancing the same old songs and dances. While youtube is willing to put up with the Goblin's retarded bullshit, Twitch is much stricter and isn't gonna let him go off the hook if he dares fuck up. Unsurprisingly, Cyraxx couldn't contain his racism and homophobia, as he started saying such things over there. Twitch quickly dropped the banhammer and gave him a 7-day suspension. Rather than wise up to his actions and wait until the suspension is over so he can try to appeal it, he decides to change his VPN and make a new twitch account, which caused twich to permaban that and his original twitch account for ban evasion. Of course Cyraxx would go on to blame the trolls for all of this. Once again, another song and dance.

Before his ban, Cyraxx managed to make around $90-something in ad revenue, which is more than the pathetic amount he normally makes in a decade. As Twitch will only start paying once the user has hit at least $100 in ad revenue, Cyraxx didn't get that sweet money upon being banned.

The trolls

Music Biz Marty - the guy who started the trolling of the goblin
Masshole Report - a fat Bostonian who used to be a mod of one of the goblin's communities till she turned against him and began exposing him as the cow that he really is.
Schmeckle Cat
William Gloryhole - Cyraxx's newest foe.
Gryker

Cyraxx's shows

Cyraxx's declaration of war on the Akron Police Department

The moment that leads to Cyraxx nuking one of his communities

Cyraxx bitching about being exposed as an abuser

Cyraxx bitching and moaning about his true self being discovered (just a day in life)

Cyraxx wanting Candall's head

Bitching about being permab& from twitch

What got him b& from twitch

Previous Video | Next Video

External links

Cyraxx has so many youtube accounts and he baleets them in an effort to evade the trolls that honestly we've lost track of how many. Of course, he'll just make a new one shortly after he baleets the previous one and his trolls are diligent enough to archive everything.