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Jared Milton: Difference between revisions
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His sister claims that [[Lie|he does not live in Wigan]], and that they live in the [[United States of Americunts|US]]. This came from Jared's "[[Facebook|like page]]" that his sister seems to have [[hacked|occupied]], as well as his [[Twitter]]. | His sister claims that [[Lie|he does not live in Wigan]], and that they live in the [[United States of Americunts|US]]. This came from Jared's "[[Facebook|like page]]" that his sister seems to have [[hacked|occupied]], as well as his [[Twitter]]. | ||
*'''Laurie L. Milton''', [[mother]] who whores herself to Jared and allows him to beat up his poor little sister. On their home answering machine, she claims not to be connected to Jeffery Sparon, which is a lie as big as her cooch. She works as a secretary at Crestmont Elementary School in Roseville, California. You can call her work number at (916)771-1750 extension 301 | *'''Laurie L. Milton''', [[mother]] who whores herself to Jared and allows him to beat up his poor little sister. On their home answering machine, she claims not to be connected to Jeffery Sparon, which is a lie as big as her cooch. She works as a secretary at Crestmont Elementary School in Roseville, California. You can call her work number at (916)771-1750 extension 301 | ||
*'''Mark A.Milton''', Jared's dad, ([email protected]) claims that he works for Microsoft which is strange because wouldn't he have a Hotmail/Live email? | *'''Mark A. Milton''', Jared's dad, ([email protected]) claims that he works for Microsoft which is strange because wouldn't he have a Hotmail/Live email? | ||
==[http://bayimg.com/OAiCMaaDj Dox]== | ==[http://bayimg.com/OAiCMaaDj Dox]== | ||
Revision as of 02:37, 11 June 2012
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KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID! This article is TL;DR. You can help by editing this page and removing the large blocks of boring text. |
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Somebody should do something about it. |
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This article needs less examples of how your leet internet skills made him rage (he's a troll dumbasses). You can help by getting rid of examples of how your leet internet skills made him rage (he's a troll dumbasses). |
Jared Milton (a.k.a. Jeffrey Sparon) is a meta-troll and likely 4chan user who more or less trolled /b/ by stealing Eric Douglas' gimmick of defending known faggot Justin Bieber, and later Lady Gaga (Eric in turn had stole the idea from JoshU2uber). Unlike Douglas however, he was able to portray a more deeply emotional character, and thus despite the obvious trolling was deemed legit by hundreds of clueless newfags. His extra flamboyance also gave out the obvious troll fag, leading observers to believe his "harassers" were mentally challenged middle-schoolers. Essentially, this level of trolling could be defined as attention whoring due to the fact that nothing entertaining is really going on.
The Video
We Heard it ourselves he doesnt know how to hack so we won't fear now.
"MY DAD WILL HACK YOU"
On June 4th of 2011, Jared uploaded a video threatening the trolls with hacks, courtesy of his dad, thus elevating himself in the eyes of /b/ to official lolcow status, and beginning a long, drawn-out campaign of trolling.
Ever since, he has been constantly flooded with prank calls, death threats, and accusations of being inbred. Jared remained undeterred for several months, however, determined to stand up for oppressed shemale child stars worldwide in the face of non-stop ridicule.
Deleted YouTube Faggotry
Previous Video | Next Video
Though dear Milton deleted these videos from his YouTube channel pretty quickly for obvious reasons, his genius dad forgot to give him some important internet advice; once it's on the internet it stays on the internet.
Jared decided not to stop uploading his great moosic covers. Even though he ended up deleting these because of hate. Some annonnomous trolls reuploaded the videos, thanks to them, we can watch Jared sing like a dumbass.
The Adventures of Jared in Tinychat
Previous Video | Next Video
LEAVE ME ALONE
In a video remarkably similar to that of Jessi Slaughter, Jared uploaded yet another video to YouTube with the usual threats of hacking, and wishful declarations that he is rich and beautiful. However, the difference here is that he actually does break down and start crying halfway through the video, blubbering like a fucking baby in what is one of the most pathetic displays this side of Christian Weston Chandler, all while claiming that what Anon is doing to him doesn't affect him in between Aspergers-fueled sobs. Also notice that at 1:11 of the video he is constipated
This horrendously pitiable display was so over-the-top that many Anons in /b/ thought that he was trolling (see: Possible Troll). The fact that he cries every single time his house is called casts doubt on whether or not this is is a very elaborate reverse-trolling, but others believe Jared is just another retard who chose to display his faggotry to the internet and didn't expect any repercussions, like so many before him.
Jared Milton...Wins?
Trolls, intellectual heavyweights that they are, rarely have to stress their brains as they go about their business; usually only having to slam their fiveheads into their keyboards to leave comments such as "FAGGT" or "FIRST!" on jewtube. Jared's trolls are especially fucking retarded, many still believe him to be genuine and not a troll himself, and this has never been so clear as Jared now commands this army of trolls by using nothing more than reverse psychology.
On August 8th Jared informed his fans through twitter that a "Fake" Jared Milton (under the name proinsias-malocco) had uploaded his friday cover to the Ark music contest site. Moobs was horrified and demanded that people not vote for it which, of course, his trolls were all too happy to do the exact opposite of.
Jared's plan to get thousands of votes was working and the people who hated him the most were making it happen.
For anyone wondering how obvious it was to spot Jared's true intentions and how fucking stupid his trolls had to be to miss it - In less than 24 hours Jared has spammed the link to the "Fake" contest entry 12 times and has even made a video advertising it.
—A translated summary of this video | ||
He is still posting the link on his twitter.
Jared's A-List Moozic Cumback Video
On March 12, 2012, Jared uploaded his first dancing/singing video under his fake name Jeffery Sparon. He tried to do a cover of Yasha Swag's "Go Go Go" (and if you have never heard of that song or Yasha Swag in general, it's best that you never find out). In the video, Jared claims that he'll be the next Justin Bieber, and clearly he does. Just like Justin, he can't sing or dance, and he even loses it at the end of the video when he can't remember how it goes, showing that very little effort was put into it.
OMG JARED IS NOT A TROLL!!!1!!
Jared decided to do an interview with Trollsnews and was of course talking about how he is trying to help educate the internets who are apparently very politically incorrect and that it is his job to guide the internet in the right direction. He also believes he was very clever to use a different name and claims he is not a retarded fucking idiot like the rest of the internet. He is also asked about his accent in which Jared responded saying that he perfers an English accent because it makes him appear smarter. In which after that he goes on about how he is intelligent, knows everything, and is politically correct. After the video went up on Trollnews's channel, Jared got butthurt because he didn't look hot in the video. Even though it looked exactly like him. But of course, Moobs will make the same mistake again, and again.
Known Relatives
- Lisa Milton, little sister whom Jared wants to kill because she's a Bieber-hater.
Lisa's Youtube account (ForThaLulsTv) STATUS - OPEN.
His sister claims that he does not live in Wigan, and that they live in the US. This came from Jared's "like page" that his sister seems to have occupied, as well as his Twitter.
- Laurie L. Milton, mother who whores herself to Jared and allows him to beat up his poor little sister. On their home answering machine, she claims not to be connected to Jeffery Sparon, which is a lie as big as her cooch. She works as a secretary at Crestmont Elementary School in Roseville, California. You can call her work number at (916)771-1750 extension 301
- Mark A. Milton, Jared's dad, ([email protected]) claims that he works for Microsoft which is strange because wouldn't he have a Hotmail/Live email?
Dox
- 1207 William Way
- Roseville, CA 95678
- GF: 1 619.929.5044
- Home: (916) 786-5314 NOTE: When you call, no one will answer and it will roll to the answering machine. Jared's mom says that they are in no way connected to "Jeffery". She also says that their voice mailbox is full and you cannot leave a message. The solution: keep dialing until someone answers.
- School: Roseville High School, Roseville, California (916)782-3753
Mobile: 07526492908(has been changed)- Skype:
Jaredmilton111It was changed to JaredMUFC, as well as jefferysparon and proncitv His Twitter: @jared_milton- Dead beacuse Jared has nothing interesting to tweet about.- His NEW Twitter: @JefferySparon
His Facebook- His NEW Facebook Page
- Mirror YouTube Account (ImGayAndHavAIDS) STATUS - OPEN
- Fake/Troll Related Account (OfficiaiJaredMiiton) STATUS - OPEN (Notice the 2 Capital i's in his name)
- Fake Channel (JaredMillton) STATUS - OPEN (Notice how he subscribed to JacobLinkZelda.)
- His NEW Account (TheOfficialJared) STATUS - OPEN
- His FAKE Trolling Account (JefferySparons) STATUS - OPEN
- His NEW Account (PronshiTV) STATUS - OPEN
His Deviantart
See Also:
- Angry German Kid
- Angry Homo Kid
- Attention Whore
- Batshit Insane
- Internet Tough Guy
- Jessi Slaughter
- Justin Bieber
- Mike Sandy
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Jared Milton is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
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| Featured article January 16th and 17th, 2012 | ||
| Preceded by Asperger's Syndrome |
Jared Milton | Succeeded by SNN |