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Devin Patrick Kelley: Difference between revisions

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{{an hero}}
{{aspie}}
{{pedo}}
{{ib|[[File:Devin_Patrick_Kelley_-_Feeling_Euphoric.jpg|250px]]}}
{{ib|[[File:Devin_Patrick_Kelley_-_Feeling_Euphoric.jpg|250px]]}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Devin Patrick Kelley'''</big>}}
{{Ibhead|<big>'''Devin Patrick Kelley'''</big>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Born'''|February 12, 1991}}
{{Ibrow|'''Died'''|November 5, 2017 (aged 26)}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''Nationality:'''|[[Americunt]]&nbsp;&nbsp;[[File:MiniflagUSA.png]]}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|26 killed, 20 injured}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[high score|Highscore]]'''|Killed 26, injured 20}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 25?'''|#14}}
{{Ibrow|'''Top 50?'''|{{highscorelist}}}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Single player}}
{{Ibrow|'''Style'''|FPS, Single player}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Awaiting official ruling}}
{{Ibrow|'''[[An Hero]]?'''|Yes}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive'''|Unavailable at present}}
{{Ibrow|'''Motive(s)'''|Mommy Issues<br>Atheism<br>Butthurt}}
{{Ibend}}
{{Ibend}}


As if the constant shootings in these past few months weren't a sufficient example to get [[politicians]] off their ass and put any action into their words. The angry, violent, wife beating, child abusing young loser known as '''Devin Patrick Kelley''' from New Braunfels, Texas drove a long 35 miles to [[San Antonio]] to shoot up a church, killing 26 people and injuring 20 others before getting into a high speed chase with police, getting shot and dying at the scene at the age of 26. At this point not much is known of Kelley, other than he served four years in the military before being dishonorably discharged and court marshaled for physically assaulting both his wife and child.  Apparently he had a colorful history of violent stupidity, aside from just beating his wife and child and yet somehow he managed to pass a background check and purchase a gun, which seems to indicate a serious flaw in the way background checks are done, or what (if any) relevant criteria is compiled into them.  I mean, here's a thought; if someone is so violently stupid they attack their own child... probably not a smart idea to sell them a firearm.  
In November 2017, an [[atheist]] [[neckbeard]] known as '''Devin Patrick Kelley'''{{atheist}} from New Braunfels, [[Texas]] drove a long 35 miles to Sutherland Springs to shoot up a [[Christianity|church]], killing 26 people (4% of the town's population) and injuring 20 others. Because he was playing on hard mode on the Texas map and everyone is armed to the teeth, he was shot by a passerby in the torso and the leg. After getting into a high speed chase with some [[goy|random guy]] and crying to his [[daddy]] on the phone, he  became [[an hero]] near the scene at the age of 26.  
 
This makes Devin the deadliest and second youngest mass shooter on a church beside [[Dylann Roof]], who was 21 at the time of his spree. [[Win|The difference between Kelley and Roof is that the former managed to have a better kill to injury ratio]]. Unlike Dylann, Devin also did not sport a [[So cash|super sick]] bowl cut and instead opted for the greasy, [[Discord]] mod look. Like every Discord mod in existence, Devin Kelley was also a [[pedophile]] who groomed a [[I'm 12 years old and what is this?|13-year-old]] at 18.
 
Devin Kelley served four years in the [[Military|Chair Force]] before being court marshaled and dishonorably discharged as an E-1 for physically assaulting both his wife and child.  Apparently he had a colorful history of violent stupidity aside from breaking his infant stepson's skull in [[2012]]. He also tried to get weapons on to his air base to [[pwn]] his superior officers. Kelley was brought back to court in [[2014]] for [[animal abuse]] charges.
 


This makes Devin the second youngest mass shooter on a church beside [[Dylann Roof]], who was 21 at the time of his spree. [[Win|The difference between Kelley and Roof is that the former managed to have a better kill to injury ratio]].


{{squote|In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god’s blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.}}
{{squote|In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god’s blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.}}


{{clear}}
{{clear}}
==Loadout==
<div align="center">
{|class="wikitable" width="40%"
!colspan="2"|Class Setup
|-<!-- DONGS NIGGA-->
!Item
!Accessories/Bonus
|-
|
*'''Primary''': Ruger AR-556
[[File:GTA4IconsM4Rifle.png|70px]]
|
*A trusty AR-15-style rifle, and a bad [[bitch]], as said by Kelley himself. '''50-65 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Secondary''': Glock 19
[[File:GTA4IconsGlock.png|70px]]
|
*Pretty good handgun that he DIDN'T FUCKING USE. '''20-35 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Tertiary''': Ruger SR22
[[File:GTA4IconsFiveSeven.png|70px]]
|
*Another handgun, this one chambered in [[Shit|.22 Long Rifle]]. Also wasn't used by Kelley. '''5-10 Damage.'''
|-
|
*'''Perk''': [[Atheism]]
[[File:Fedora icon.png|70px]]
|
*Double damage against [[Christfags]].
|}
</div>


==Nobody Could Have Seen This Coming==
==Nobody Could Have Seen This Coming==
[[Image:Devin_Patrick_Kelley_-_FaceBook_Gun_Post.png|right|thumb]]
[[Image:Devin_Patrick_Kelley_-_FaceBook_Gun_Post.jpg|right|thumb]]
Oh, wait a minute. Here's a fun thought that'll get your mind thinking hard: if you have someone as a friend on social media that you've known for a long time and they unexpectedly start posting pictures of guns just completely out of the blue... most likely not a good sign and you should report them so they get [[V&]].  Especially if they happen to be somebody with a political view that is anti-cop or anti-government in general, somebody diagnosed with a [[mental illness]], socially awkward, [[Seung-Hui Cho|a virgin]], child or wife beater, [[Stephen Paddock|heavy casino gambler]], or Muslim.
Oh, wait a minute. Here's a fun thought that'll get your mind thinking hard: if you have someone as a friend on social media that you've known for a long time and they unexpectedly start posting pictures of guns just completely out of the blue... most likely not a good sign and you should report them so they get [[V&]].  Especially if they happen to be somebody with a political view that is anti-cop or anti-government in general, somebody diagnosed with a [[mental illness]], socially awkward, [[Seung-Hui Cho|a virgin]], child or wife beater, [[Stephen Paddock|heavy casino gambler]], or Muslim.


{{clear}}
{{clear}}
== Graded Score ==
== Graded Score ==
{| style="{{roundy|18px}}{{gradlinear|red|orange}}box-shadow:0 3px 6px gray;padding:1em;margin:0 auto 1em auto;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" border="0"
|-
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:red;box-shadow:0 3px 6px orange;" | <big>Graded score</big>
|-
| colspan="2" style="height:9px;overflow:hidden;" |
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Kill count:
|'''26'''/20 ''One kill shy of [[Adam Lanza]]''
|-
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Accuracy:
|18/20 ''46 hits in a room of about 50 people''
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Style:
|5/20 ''Edgelord tactical gear.''
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Butthurt:
|15/20 ''Deadliest shooting in Texas and dead kids.''
|-
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Bonus:
|10/20 ''Subjected the world to Texas on a Sunday.''
|-
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: 74/100 ('''C''')</big>
|}


<center>'''Path of the Righteous Man'''</center>
{{GradedScore|'''26'''|One kill shy of [[Adam Lanza]]|11|Only 26 killshots in a room of about 50 people|15|Edgelord tactical gear|20|Deadliest shooting in Texas and dead kids|20|Subjected the world to Texas on a Sunday|92|A|Path of the Righteous Man}}
<center>'''[[High Score| See full ranking]]'''</center>
 
<br />
{{Wanted|3}}
 
==Twitter reaction==
As with the [[Vegas shooting|Mandalay Bay shooting]], a butthurt Hillary voter had this to say of the mass shooting:
{{quote|1=Sutherland Springs is in rural Texas, these were all likely 45 voters.
 
This is karma in action.
 
Good riddance.
|2=[https://twitter.com/ReFlex76 Antonio E. Gonzalez]|3=[http://archive.is/PuJvx 2:29 PM - 5 Nov 2017]}}
 
The leftists on Twitter took a break from licking Hillary's asshole long enough to let out a joyous cheer for their comrade's epic takedown of 26 dead Christians, while the butthurt patriots cheered themselves up by [https://voat.co/v/whatever/2227951 doxing him] and ensuring that his employer saw his touching sentiments about the victims.


<center>
==Gallery==
<div style="{{roundy|10px}}border:2px solid #000;width:30%;background:linear-gradient(#c58d29, #447e80);background:-moz-linear-gradient(#002db3, #4da6ff);background:-webkit-linear-gradient(#002db3, #4da6ff);background:-o-linear-gradient(#e18f80, #666c05);padding:10px;font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">
<center><gallery>
<span style="font-size:16pt;">'''Wanted Level:'''</span>
File:Devin Kelley yearbook.jpg|Devin Kelley made the transition from [[emo]] [[twink]] to [[Reddit|r/atheism]] [[mod]] in a few short years
<br>
File:Devin Kelley.jpg
<span> ___________________ </span>
</gallery></center>
{|align="center"
|[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]]
|[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]]
|[[File:Wantedstar.png|40px]]
|}
<span> ___________________ </span>
<br>
{|align="center"
|[[File:SWAT_police_dude.JPG|128px]]
|}
<br>
<span style="font-size:12pt;">'''S.W.A.T. Team'''</span>
</div><br>
</center>


==Related Articles==
*[[Atheism]]
*[[Adam Lanza]]
*[[Anders Behring Breivik]]
*[[Dylann Roof]]
*[[Omar Mateen]]
*[[Stephen Paddock]]


==External Links==
==External Links==
Line 78: Line 102:
* [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/nov/05/baptist-church-shooting-south-texas-sutherland-springs Sutherland Springs church killer identified as Devin Patrick Kelley]
* [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/nov/05/baptist-church-shooting-south-texas-sutherland-springs Sutherland Springs church killer identified as Devin Patrick Kelley]


{{Psychopaths}}
{{High Scores}}
{{Gun control}}
{{anheroes}}
{{atheism}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:2017]]

Latest revision as of 00:54, 10 September 2024

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This page contains an hero.
This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
This faggot waits for the child to make the first move in a sexual situation.
You can help by contacting Federal Authorities and alerting Chris Hansen.
Devin Patrick Kelley
Born February 12, 1991
Died November 5, 2017 (aged 26)
Nationality: Americunt  
Highscore Killed 26, injured 20
Top 50? 20th
Style FPS, Single player
An Hero? Yes
Motive(s) Mommy Issues
Atheism
Butthurt


In November 2017, an atheist neckbeard known as Devin Patrick Kelley from New Braunfels, Texas drove a long 35 miles to Sutherland Springs to shoot up a church, killing 26 people (4% of the town's population) and injuring 20 others. Because he was playing on hard mode on the Texas map and everyone is armed to the teeth, he was shot by a passerby in the torso and the leg. After getting into a high speed chase with some random guy and crying to his daddy on the phone, he became an hero near the scene at the age of 26.

This makes Devin the deadliest and second youngest mass shooter on a church beside Dylann Roof, who was 21 at the time of his spree. The difference between Kelley and Roof is that the former managed to have a better kill to injury ratio. Unlike Dylann, Devin also did not sport a super sick bowl cut and instead opted for the greasy, Discord mod look. Like every Discord mod in existence, Devin Kelley was also a pedophile who groomed a 13-year-old at 18.

Devin Kelley served four years in the Chair Force before being court marshaled and dishonorably discharged as an E-1 for physically assaulting both his wife and child. Apparently he had a colorful history of violent stupidity aside from breaking his infant stepson's skull in 2012. He also tried to get weapons on to his air base to pwn his superior officers. Kelley was brought back to court in 2014 for animal abuse charges.


 
 
In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god’s blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.
 

 

Loadout

Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Ruger AR-556

  • A trusty AR-15-style rifle, and a bad bitch, as said by Kelley himself. 50-65 Damage.
  • Secondary: Glock 19

  • Pretty good handgun that he DIDN'T FUCKING USE. 20-35 Damage.
  • Tertiary: Ruger SR22

  • Another handgun, this one chambered in .22 Long Rifle. Also wasn't used by Kelley. 5-10 Damage.

Nobody Could Have Seen This Coming

Oh, wait a minute. Here's a fun thought that'll get your mind thinking hard: if you have someone as a friend on social media that you've known for a long time and they unexpectedly start posting pictures of guns just completely out of the blue... most likely not a good sign and you should report them so they get V&. Especially if they happen to be somebody with a political view that is anti-cop or anti-government in general, somebody diagnosed with a mental illness, socially awkward, a virgin, child or wife beater, heavy casino gambler, or Muslim.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 26/20 One kill shy of Adam Lanza
Accuracy: 11/20 Only 26 killshots in a room of about 50 people
Style: 15/20 Edgelord tactical gear
Butthurt: 20/20 Deadliest shooting in Texas and dead kids
Bonus: 20/20 Subjected the world to Texas on a Sunday
Total Score: 92/100 (A)
Path of the Righteous Man
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

S.W.A.T. Team


Twitter reaction

As with the Mandalay Bay shooting, a butthurt Hillary voter had this to say of the mass shooting:

   
 
Sutherland Springs is in rural Texas, these were all likely 45 voters.

This is karma in action.

Good riddance.
 


 
 

Antonio E. Gonzalez, 2:29 PM - 5 Nov 2017

The leftists on Twitter took a break from licking Hillary's asshole long enough to let out a joyous cheer for their comrade's epic takedown of 26 dead Christians, while the butthurt patriots cheered themselves up by doxing him and ensuring that his employer saw his touching sentiments about the victims.

Gallery

Related Articles

External Links


Devin Patrick Kelley is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]
Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAlex HribalAlyssa BustamanteAnthony WarnerAudrey HaleBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisGerry McCannJames HolmesJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly Voong Joe StackJosef FritzlLaaiti EkenstéenMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatthew MurrayMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRichard SpeckRobert HawkinsStephen PaddockTim KretschmerTimothy HendronTJ LaneTyler PetersonWade Michael PageWoo Bum-kon

Career/Serial Killers:

Academy ManiacsAdolf HitlerCharles MansonChris BenoitDnepropetrovsk ManiacsDubyaJack the RipperJeffrey DahmerMao ZedongRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed Bundy

Terrorists:

Al QaedaAnders Behring BreivikAnderson Lee AldrichAnton Lundin PetterssonDzhokhar TsarnaevElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniManiacs Murder CultMark EssexNidal Malik HasanOsama bin LadenTamerlan TsarnaevTed Kaczynski

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderJewsMurderParanoid personality disorderPittsburgh Paint JobPolice BrutalitySick fuck


Devin Patrick Kelley is part of a series on Are You Ready? [GAME OVERInsert Coin] Go!
Single Player Elite Hall of Fame

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyDong YanglingGabriel WortmanJack Gilbert GrahamJakrapanth ThommaJames HubertyLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPanya KhamrabPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSalvador RamosShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWilliam UnekWoo Bum-kon

Single Player Amateur Division

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Multiplayer Co-Op Mode

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Civilization and Great Prophets

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Banned From Scoring

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[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
Devin Patrick Kelley is part of a series on Gun Control
Locus in quo:

Abilene Alleyway Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Chris Dorner 🔫 Christchurch mosque attacks 🔫 Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 David Long 🔫 Dayton shooting 🔫 El Paso Walmart Shooting 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 Gilroy Garlic Festival Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Kyle Rittenhouse 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Shoahdown at the Synagogue of Doom 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Virginia Beach Shooting 🔫 Washington Navy Yard shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫

Supporters

Barack Obama 🔫 Christians 🔫 Concerned Mothers 🔫 Democrats 🔫 Dianne Feinstein 🔫 Government 🔫 The Kennedys 🔫 Kurt Eichenwald 🔫 Faggots 🔫 Liberals 🔫 Michael Bloomberg 🔫 Jews 🔫 SJWs 🔫 Sensitive people 🔫 Tara Strong 🔫 Trayvon Martin 🔫 Quinton Reviews

Main ideas:

Assault Rifle 🔫 Gun 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Arson 🔫 Bombs 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg 🔫 Killers 🔫 Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting

Objectors:

Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama Bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre 🔫

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Columbine 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre 🔫 Anders Breivik

Devin Patrick Kelley
is part of a series on
An Heroes

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Died Alone

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Failures

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Devin Patrick Kelley
is part of a series on
Atheism
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