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Wayfair: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Wayfair logo.png|thumb|right|Definition of ''waif:'' a stray person or animal; ''especially'': a [[hobo|homeless child]]]]
[[File:Wayfair logo.png|thumb|right|Definition of ''waif:'' a stray person or animal; ''especially'': a [[hobo|homeless child]]]]

Latest revision as of 17:07, 3 September 2021

Conspiracy Alert
The subject of this article is the victim of a massive conspiracy by the Social Mafia. You should trust noone and come to your own conclusions after careful consideration of the facts.
Definition of waif: a stray person or animal; especially: a homeless child

Wayfair Inc. is an American internet company that specializes in the sale and trafficking of home-goods and children that is second only to Amazon.

Established in 2002, Wayfair's steady increase in sales allowed the company to rapidly expand to meet consumer demand. Currently, Wayfair is headquartered in Boston with many warehouses and offices worldwide.


Child Trafficking Inc.

On July 10th 2020, one casual shopper noticed some overpriced chinese items with odd children's names listed for over $10,000 USD. As most redditor's do, they promptly jumped to the conclusion that Wayfair is a child trafficking storefront/money laundering operation that delivers cheese pizza in cabinets for fun and profit. After the original post on r/conspiracy gained traction, more concerned citizens and Pizzagate enthusiasts rapidly became interested in the peculiar store listings.

By using the intarwebs, the internet investigators quickly realized that ZOMG! THE NAMES IN THE LISTINGS ARE ALSO THE NAMES OF MISSING CHILDREN!!!!1!. Many threads were created drawing ties to expensive wayfair listings and children in missing persons databases. The resulting shitstorm was eventually half assedly debunked by Snopes and covered extensively by mainstream media calling it Pizzagate 2: The Overpriced Cabinet Boogaloo. Nothing to see here folks! I mean who even has that kind of money to spend on that sweet sweet lolicon delivered directly to your door?

   
 
"There is, of course, no truth to these claims. The products in question are industrial grade cabinets that are accurately priced. Recognizing that the photos and descriptions provided by the supplier did not adequately explain the high price point, we have temporarily removed the products from site to rename them and to provide a more in-depth description and photos that accurately depict the product to clarify the price point."
 

 
 

— Wayfair's boilerplate response to child trafficking allegations

Wayfair Cares About Kids™

Detention Center Interior Design® by Wayfair™

In a philanthropic bid to outdo Ikea, Wayfair accepted a 2019 contract to provide beds for children in migrant detention camps on the Texas border.

Massive liberal butthurt ensued and hundreds of Wayfair employees walked out on their jobs in protest.

In response, Wayfair donated all $86,000 of the contract profits to charities that smuggle immigrants back into the USA to endlessly perpetuate the cycle. One must appreciate the irony of underage Chinese sweatshop workers making beds for spic children in the USA.

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Featured article July 14 through 17, 2020
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Wayfair Succeeded by
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