Mario

This article is perfect. Don't fuck with it!

Mario
Race	Guido
Occupation	???
Developer	Nintendo
Designer	Shigeru Miyamoto
Series	Mario
Platforms	NES SNES Game Boy GameCube DS Wii 3DS Wii U Switch
Release	1985

He died for our sins.

Mario is the fat, greasy, wop mascot for Nintendo, and has starred in roughly 90% of their games due to Shigeru Miyamoto's insatiable shroom fetish. Mario is known throughout the world for his habit of breaking blocks, collecting coins, throwing fire balls, getting high off shrooms, getting pwned by turtles and Goombas, and saving whores.

The games

More evidence that Mario is actually Jewish.

Typical game over screen.

Donkey Kong

Totally not related to King Kong in anyway, this game has Mario JUMPMAN saving the helpless Pauline from the clutches of a ronery ape. Although he's a very nice guy sometimes.

Super Mario Bros.

Mario and his brother Luigi save the Princess from a giant turtle. To aid them on their quest, they have a variety of power-ups, such as Fire Flowers (which cause flames to erupt from Mario's fingertips), Mushrooms (which make everything look smaller), and Super Stars (which cause enemies to have seizures on contact). I wish I was joking, but this is the staple of the average Mario game.

Super Mario Bros 2

Mario, Luigi, that fucking annoying mushroom-midget thing, and that whore Peach who does nothing but scream and fly around using her ability to queef at high speeds, team up to battle a frog. They kill it with vegetables, but not really, because IT WAS ALL A DREAM LOL!

It's a cuntpasted version of another game called Doki Doki Panic. The original sequel was thought to be too hard for dumbass American gamers like yourself.

Dian Shi Ma Li

PUSH START TO RICH

Of course, Mario isn't for everyone...

Sibling rivalry.

A pirate game shittier game compared to the main games of the series, Dian Shi Ma Li is a spinoff featuring a Mario clone named Fortran - who happens to be the illegitimate father of Weegee and Malleo. The purpose of this game is to use imaginary moneys and to PUSH START TO RICH. Unlike the other Mario games, there is no end to this one. Ever.

It's a shame that this particularly awesome Mario game was overshadowed by another, shittier one.

Super Mario Bros. 3

Considered by the fandom to be the BEST GAME EVAR, Mario and Luigi have to save seven kings who, along with being kidnapped, had their seven MAGIK WANDS stolen and were turned into animals by each of the seven coons. However, in World Seven, Mario finds out that those seven kidnappings were all just a distraction so Bowser could nab Princess Toadshit. Seven seven seven.

Bowser isn't the brightest bulb in the box, but he at least deserves a Gold Star for effort... that is until you see what faggotty plans Bowser comes up with in the future. Then it's torn off like an old Band-Aid.

Super Nazi Penis Cartel Freedom Fighters 3

The better version of SMB3.

Super Mario World

The same game as 3, but for the Super Nintendo. The only difference is that this time you get to ride a dinosaur named Yoshi AND OMG YOU GET A CAPE INSTEAD OF A TAIL!1

Typical gameplay

Nigga stole my Yoshi!

PETA haets Mario.

OMG SECRET LEVEL

Merigo

Mario Kart

Luigi finds out that his brother is actually Ron Jeremy.

Mario and his friends skid around various tracks in cardboard go-karts and throw shit at each other for trophies. The original was supposed to have two female characters and one cup, but Nintendo decided they were too badass for more than one chick. There have been sequels, but it's the same general concept of Mario and his friends throwing shit at each other.

Super Mario RPG

By far, the most overrated Mario game to date. The starting plot is the same as the original Super Mario Bros. game, but then this giant Sword rams into Bowser's crib and his shit goes flying everywhere and he has to hire an army of Mexicans to fix it.

So, Mario has to find some PVC glue bottles that look like bits of stars to reassemble some retarded magical dildo or some shit like that and look for the Princess. It's like Final Fantasy (it was made by the same company, go figure), but HE KNOWS ABOUT TIMED HITS which can be used for MASSIVE DAMAGE. This game has spawned an ungodly amount of fanboys who practically live on praying to their God for giving them this game. Let's not forget that this game is incredibly boring since Mario can only jump in the overworld and that the puzzelda were practically made for by three year-olds or people with down syndrome. Also the source of Geno, who is a fucking living puppet, and Mallow, but nobody cares about him.

Mario is Missing

Bowser is up to no good again, so Mario must put a stop to his dirty deeds!!!!111Oneoneone.

What poorly-made plan has Bowser cooked up this time to steal the Princess? None. Thank God.

Instead, Bowser has set up base in the Antarctic and he plans to flood the Earth by melting it with hairdryers (yes, you read that correctly. Unless you read it as Hard Drivers, in which case, get some glasses you blind fuck). When Mario tries to stop Bowser's hilarious nefarious scheme, he gets his ass caught. Luigi then has to travel around the world and answer trivia questions to save his brother. It's exactly as entertaining as it sounds.

Melting Antarctica with hairdryers? Bowser must be a cheap-ass nigger.

The PC version of the game gave birth to the meme known as Weegee.

Super Mario 69

	“	So long, gay Bowser!	„
	— Mario while having some gay tail fetishes

	“	YAHOO! YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAHOO!	„
	— Mario in every SM64 TAS ever.

You get a sexy letter from princess peach and she says some shit about cake. At this point you should know that the cake is a lie because women can't write letters. Bowser takes over the Princess's castle (which is nothing but an art gallery) and hides Power Stars in various painting worlds instead of actually doing anything with them. In this AMAZING 64-BIT ADVENTURE (which just boils down to low poly low tris shit that was on the computer for years), you run around collecting the Power Stars that, coincidentally, do nothing but let you progress, and fight Bowser at least 69 times (each battle the fucking same thing which becomes way too easy). The excellent control scheme handles like your mom.

Typical Gameplay. Mainly Gameplay. Beating the game in 5 minutes. Previous Video | Next Video

Paper Mario

Same as SMRPG but every character is a fucking piece of paper. Bowser steals a Star Rod, gets sued by Kirby for copyright infringement, wins, and decides to use it for himself. Peach invites Mario and Luigi to a party at the castle, during which the whole castle rises up in the sky and Bowser pwns the shit out of Mario with his Star Rod. OMFG! So now Mario has to free some shit star spirits to re-own Bowser and his damn Star Rod, with the help of all his partners. He has several of these partners to help him out on his contrived quest, but they are hardly notable and very shitty. The series has also spawned two equally formulaic sequels of collecting seven shiny pieces of shit to kill somebody. Hoorays!

Nintendo's view on Nazis.

Super Smash Bros.

If you play Mario games, you instantly become a dirty Italian.

It's a fair cop...

A Nintendo fanboy's wet dream come to life. The game is basically a giant circlejerk of various Nintendo characters beating the shit out of each other. So, essentially, it's fucking awesome. It's also one of the many games subject to tourneyfag drama.

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

The world is once again turned into paper, and now it's up to Mario to go collect OMFGJESUSCHRIST EVEN MORE!!!!!!! fucking Stars. That's right, and seven of them! Who would've thought? But there's a twist: You can die in the overworld! OMG!!! Nintendo is really pushing the limits! There's also a fucking guy with a fishbowl for a head who wants them so he can stick em up his ass or some other form of faggotry like that. Of course, Mario also has his bitches that join him, because apparently Mario's too fail to kick ass without help. Mario's bitches, in this game, are all Aboriginal...let's see...

• Goombella, a PMS-ing, useless, excessive, and unwanted bitch.
• Koops, a pussy.
• Flurrie, a nudist (and attractive women are NEVER nudist, are they? No, it's always the big fat fucking cows). Unfortunately for Mario, she wants inside his pants.
• A Yoshi, whom you get to name after you get him. Acts like a total douche the entire game.
• Vivian, a prostitute-like shadow-freaky lady who wants inside Mario's pants (but in Japan she's a boy).
• Captain Bobbery, an old pedophile who blows himself up, and is emo for his dead wife. He desperately wants to die. PROTIP: This is the only character you will use in this game.
• Ms. Mowz, a random convict who wants inside Mario's pants.

Yes, every female (and possibly male) wants inside Mario's pants, desperately (cause Italians are smexy :3). This fact is made painfully obvious throughout the game.

Super Mario Sunshine

Ginzo's are a lot like niggers.

Set shortly after Mario's successful Jihad in Super Mario World where he destroys several buildings, Mario boards a plane headed to a distant tropical island where he attempts to hijack and crash it into a high-rise skyscraper. With Mario's final terrorist plot foiled, he is captured and labeled an enemy combatant and sent to Guantanamo Bay. The rest of the game is spent with Mario being interrogated by eating cock-meat sandwiches and getting asshamered by the Man. During his testimony, when asked why he intended to kill so many innocent civilians, he stated that he "did it for teh lulz!"

After being tortured half to death by freaks, Mario is subjected to at least 100 hours of community service in the form of cleaning up the town that the residents shit all over. Mario gets a water cannon and uses it to spray on everything dirty.

Oh, yeah, and Bowser's in a bathtub this entire time. And apparently he has a kid too.

sUpeR MaRio GalAxY

Mario ass-fucks Yoshi and fills him with cum, as Yoshi spits it out on the other end.

Waggle and jump around on tiny space-rocks, following a linear path to the star, jumping around on cartoony levels to appeal to the younger crowds.

...that's it. Going from point A to point B 9,003 times, occasionally stopping to collect shit or take part in epic tedious boss fights.

After collecting all 120 stars, what do you get? YOU GET TO DO IT ALL AGAIN! But as Weegee, who jumps higher but seems to have had his shoes dunked in anal lube, which makes him slippery as fuck. What do you get after beating the game again? You get to go back to the starting level of the game and collect purple coins! Fuck yes!

If you look closely at the title look at the letters that have stars. they spell out "U R MR GAY" lol

Easily the best Mario game ever made. Because of this and the fact that ever since Neil Armstrong landed on the Moon, every Americunt got a space fetish, there's a sequel that appeals to at least 100 percent of nostalgiafags and rips off every other 3D Mario game SINCE NOSTALGIA'S COOL, RIGHT?. Yoshi's in this one and eats radioactive berries that give it superpowers. And its cover says "YA I M R U?"

Mario & Sonic at the Special Olympics

Mario and his friends find some furfags and a fat scientist, and then they compete in the fucking Special Olympics. Nobody gives a shit about this game now, due to Sonic in Brawl- HOLY SHIT! THOSE BASTARDS ARE MAKING ANOTHER ONE!

Then they actually went on to create even moar of this shit, including Mario & Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games and Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games. There's also Mario & Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games, if you just needed to play as Mario or Sonic snowboarding.

Super Paper Mario

Same old story as the first two, except in this game, Mario gets partners that aren't necessarily gay, but they aren't heterosexual either. This time around, he gets to team up with Tippi, Princess Peach, Luigi, and Bowser. Together, they fight Count Bleck, Nastasia, O'Chunks, Mimi, Dimentio, and Mr. L. It's different from the other two Paper Mario games in that there's less turnbased combat and more of the awesome platforming.

Instead of Mario's, most of the female characters go for Count Bleck's pants since he's the supreme god of all emos. Bleck also doesn't succeed in destroying the universe and reveals the power of friendship.

New Super Mario Bros

It's like every other 2D Mario game, but new! There's also this little version of Bowser that you fight OVER 9,000 times who sounds like you.

As quoted from Luigi, "Go, Weegee!"

New Super Mario Bros.

Itsa meeeeee!

Can you spot the difference?

Mario as portrayed by a fabulous spic-midget.

So it's Mario's bitch's birthday and a HUEG cake comes in from nowhere, everyone is pleased at the arrival of the cake but then.....Bowser's kids come out of nowhere and put the whore in the cake and take off with it! It all boils down to a lemonparty of all the old 2D games, but in 3D!

Super Mario 3D Land

It's New Super Mario Bros but in 3D . Also tanooki suit is back for nostalgiafags which made PETA go pussy and make a shitty flash game based on it.

New Super Mario Bros. 2

Same exact thing as the first, but with lots moar coins. After Mario gets 1,000,000 coins in total, being the self-centered asshole he is, spends it on a GIANT GOLDEN STATUE OF HIMSELF that doesn't do shit.

Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga

This time, instead of the Mushroom Kingdom being in peril, the Beanish people of the BeanBean Kingdom ask Mario and Luigi to stop Cackletta, Fawful, and the Koopalings from terrorizing the BeanBean Kingdom. In this game, the battle system is exactly the same as Paper Mario, except you can do combos and Bros Attacks. Some say Americans butchered the localized version by fucking up the monsters' stats. The Koopa Kids' HP are greatly reduced, making each of them able to be killed in 1 hit, while the final boss's HP is doubled to drag out a boring ass fight even further.

It has sequels on the DS that include time travel and vore and baby sockpuppets of the two. Ya, rly.

Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time

Mario and Luigi go back and forth in time to have sex with their baby selves while Peach is yet again kidnapped, this time by the shroobs, who are purple alien toads that have evil expression on their face and talk in l33t speak. You jerk around doing utter bullshit and find Peach after weeks of gameplay. You battle Princess Shroob to find out she's got a sister who was locked away in shit nobody cares about and rape her shit in a battle that lasts an hour.

Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story (Inflation: The Game)

Fawful returns, butthurt over Cackletta's death in the first game, and plots to take over the Mushroom Kingdom by giving everyone weird mushrooms that bloat them up to immobility. Then he feeds Bowser a "Vacuum Shroom" that makes him inhale the princess and the Mario brothers. The rest of the game is about tending to Bowser's butthurt for Fawful turning his castle into a theater and you have to do shit with Mario and Luigi like going into Bowser's ass to restore his life by anally ravaging him. Srsly.

There's also a moment where Boos force feed Bowser until immobility. Yeah.

Mario & Luigi: Dream Team

Gay.

I hope you love learning stuff, cause this piece of shit is roughly 75% tutorials, 25% gameplay. Mario and Luigi go on a vacation to Pi'illo Island, where it is discovered that Luigi can open portals into his retarded dreams whenever he decides to be a lazy fuck. Mario travels back and forth between reality and the Dream world in order to mentally scar his brother with imagery of his 2-inch cock. Hell, we even get one of the characters cosplaying as a carrot attempting to lure a rabbit to suck his dick. No jokes.

Some emo fag named Antasma decides to partner-up with Bowser for great lulz, only for Bowser to be a dick and betray him. Some other weird shit happens, Bowser obtains the Dream Stone and becomes God but the Mario brothers inevitably fuck him up the ass and end up destroying the Dream Stone. No one gives a shit, and then the game ends.

Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam

All of the characters in the Mario series have sex with their paper counterparts which fall out of one of Peach's dirty books hidden in her library. The plot for this game was likely conceived by a bunch of closeted DeviantFags.

TL;DR Version - Crossover of the two shittiest Mario series in existence.

Super Mario D.I.Y.

Also known as Super Mario Maker, a game where Nintendo basically said "Fuck it, we'll let the players make their own version of New Super Mario Bros. since we've made the same goddamn game like fifty times already!" The game released on 9/11!

Super Mario Odyssey

First Mario game for the Nintendo Switch. In this game, Bowser goes through with his plan to marry and raep Peach and it's up to you to indulge in a worthless collectathon. That's all you do. Mario can explore new kingdoms to collect moons, such as a Spic inspired sand world and a city that looks worse than GTA4. After eating Bowser's ass for the billionth time, the game allows you to collect some more moons so you can get some special shit afterwards. Did I mention that there's like 800 moons? You can also refight the same shitty bosses but with low gravity. BUT IT'S AN AMAZING GAME SINCE IT'S LIKE 64!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!one!!

Super Mario D.I.Y. 2

Also known as Super Mario Maker 2, a game where Nintendo basically said "Fuck it, we'll let the players make their own version of New Super Mario Bros. since we've made the same goddamn game like fifty times already!" again with more content. They released an update which lets you create your own games as Nintendo are too lazy to come up with original ideas.

Other games

Keep in mind, the above mentioned games only make up a small percentage of the games in which Mario has starred. Mario has also been featured in at least 100 other games (no exaggeration), all of which can be viewed here.

The Shocking Truth. Super Mario 3D Land Previous Video | Next Video

The other characters

Princess Peach

Princess Peach is the most famous woman in all of gaming. She always wears pink and yes, it is bubblegum pink too ;-). She is constantly getting raped by Bowser, but she's probably asking for it. She claims to be the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom, but it's unknown how much she actually rules because it's kinda hard to do that when you're always kidnapped. Peach loves Mario's tiny dick, and was once quoted in a magazine saying she thinks it's cute when he's small. For all Mario's efforts of constantly saving her, all Peach rewards him with is at most a kiss on the cheek or nose, at least that all that happens if you only believe what you can see on your television screen. In Super Mario Odyssey, Peach goes all feminist woke cunt mode at the end of the game and rejects Mario entirely. All those years of adventures and true love defenestrated for no apparent reason. Maybe she just wanted to fuck a goomba instead?

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  WTF
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Bowser

That one episode where Bowser was a nazi.

Whether it be his countless plots to kidnap the princess, raising an army of slaves to lick his feet on demand, conquering the entire universe, or turning Mario into a fucking pinball, Bowser will stop at absolutely nothing to turn Mario in a cuckold, showing just how true and dedicated of a Peach Mongler he is. Bowser is a tyrannical lizard and a known revolutionary communist ideologue, as seen throughout the Mario Party games. Despite being the biggest menace to the Mushroom Kingdom, he is always invited to Mario's racing competitions and parties. In his youth, Bowser was a spoiled bitchboy raised by a lone wizard koopa who now licks his feet for fear of getting raped.

Due to his raping tendencies, Bowser has fostered numerous illegitimate children. His first seven children were born when he raped Shigeru Miyamoto, who gave birth to the Kooplings. After Super Mario World ended, he abandoned them only for them to return after a decade just to waste playable character slots in future video games. Later, Bowser had an affair with Peach who gave birth the the bratty, obnoxious freak-of-nature, Bowser Jr.

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  Bowser's colonoscopy is due.
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  where the hell even is his head?
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Luigi

Moar info: Luigi.

Luigi famously fought for the Confederacy.

Luigi is the green version of Mario.

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  Luigi: arbiter of death
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  Luigi reads some fine literature.
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  Gay lovers, Mario and Luigi, escape to Mexico to escape Trumps wrath.
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  Mario converts to Judaism.
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  Luigi being a racist cowboy
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  Luigi performing an unique form of waterboarding
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  Luigi has seen enough shock images

Wario

Moar info: Wario.

Wario is the only non-black capable of doing the Thug Shaker.

TL;DR Wario is yellow Mario.

In practically every way Wario is simultaneously an exaggeration and a total opposite of Mario. While Mario is fat and collects coins, Wario is fatter and lives only to collect coins. While Mario likes to spaghetti, Wario likes to eat bulbs of raw garlic (which is fucking nasty. Would not recommend. I learned that the hard way). The biggest true differences between Mario and Wario is that the former is Italian and heroic, while the latter is selfish and German (but us real ones know he's a jew). Truly some though-provoking political commentary.

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  Wario's reaction to this article
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Waluigi

Moar info: Waluigi.

Official Nintendo canon

Waluigi is the purple version of Luigi. He is also Wario's freaky, degenerate partner in crime who thinks he's hot shit, but is reviled by every woman in the Mushroom Kingdom, except by Waluigis-girl who wants to fuck him. Whereas Wario is mostly motivated by his love for money, Waluigi is nihilistic, egotistical, and anarchistic, motivated by the thrill of chaos alone, making him one of the most epic trolls in the Mario universe. Standing at a whopping 7 foot 7 inches, this lanky bastard is a tall-ass motherfucker, and thus it makes sense that he only appears in sports titles. He's by far one of the most beloved characters in the Mario franchise because he is a natural-born meme-machine, although he never actually had a game of his own. His only official game where he appears as the primary protagonist is some old flash game called "Waluigi's Toenail Clipping Party", where Waluigi sits down with his feet right in front of the camera so you can clip his overgrown toenails and then "email" the clipping to a friend. You'd be mistaken if you thought it was just a weird fan-art from DA because this is 100% real. When Walluhakbar was confirmed to not be a playable fighter in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, his fans did the logical thing decided to spam Masahiro Sakurai, the primary developer, with death threats. He still, believe it or not, did not become a playable character in Smash.

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Toad

Toad is a short, shroom-like creature that somewhat resembles William Atchison's unremarkable dick. He, as well as his entire race, are notorious infantilists who wear diapers on all occasions, and in some games like New Super Mario Bros. U Toad is even a diaperfur when he gets his super nut. He and his mushroom buddies chainsmoke at least one pack of ciggies a day, which can be verified by cross-analyzing his voice in Mario Kart 64 versus his voice today. The Toads are well-known for being Princess Peach's useless as fuck guards who let her get kidnapped every other month. Toad is having a secret affair with Princess Peach and is known to hide under her dress doing who-knows-what.

Aside from Toad himself, other members of the toad race include Toadette, Toadsworth, and who could forget, George Washingtoad. Toadette is the pink one (and yes, it is pink ;-) who is known for nothing else than being a girl that all the others can bukake, sort of like Smurfette. Nintendo's modern-age trooner fans like to take an out-of-context quote by Shigero Miyamoto where he states he initially created the toads in Super Mario Bros. as generic characters without a specified gender in mind, and twist it into meaning that Toadette is a trans icon.

Toadsworth is the corrupt deep-state of the Mushroom Kingdom. He props up Princess Peach as the symbolic leader while he rules from the shadows. He is the one staging all the kidnappings to distract the populace, and while Mario is off rescuing Peach, Toadsworth acts the regent, enacting laws that would've never passed otherwise. He is also the only toad who can justify wearing a diaper due to his elderly age.

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  BUP!
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  some autistic shit by MamonFighter761

Yoshi

Yoshi is Mario's pet dinosaur and subservient slave. Yoshi will happily let Mario hit him over the head constantly and will gladly sacrifice his life for Mario at the nearest convenience so the red man can complete an unnecessary jump that makes him look kinda cool. Since Yoshi is a dinosaur, of course furries will want to rape him no matter what, but what makes him truly special is his ability to vore anything and trap it inside the confines of an egg. So next time you're asking "what that tongue do tho?", now you know. Not sure why you'd be asking that about Yoshi, but I digress. Luigi is his mother and in the cartoons he's terrified of water for no reason because he's retarded as fuck like Ulillillia.

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  shitty art by Nixwerld
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  Yoshi with moobs, by Yurigtx2023
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Princess Daisy

During of rough patch between Mario and Peach's relationship, Mario decided he was going to rescue Princess Daisy instead, but afterwards he decided he wasn't really into getting pegged and decided to let his brother Luigi date her instead, which by the way Luigi LOVES that shit.

Previous Video | Next Video

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Rosalina

Rosalina is the single most fapped to character in the Mario universe, and if she isn't then it's only because Peach has been around longer and needs time to catch up. She is in a fulfilling relationship with Mariotehplumber, and is constantly having to reject the ravenous begging of DogsEatingDogs6 to fuck. Part of her appeal is that she's so mysterious and is a cosmic deity and shit.

Her children/slaves are the Lumas, sentient star creatures.

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  now you fuck her as a car too
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Cartoon adaptations

During the late 80's to early 90's Mario received 3 animated cartoons produced by DiC Entertainment, which include:

• The Super Mario Bros. Super Show: The most famous of the cartoons. Each episode is split into a live-action and animated segment.
• The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3: Gee, can you guess which game this cartoon was made to promote? Anyways, the Koopalings appear in this one.
• Super Mario World: Gee, can you guess which game this cartoon was made to promote? Anyways, Yoshi and a retard caveman named Oogtar appear in this one and this cartoon is the spawn of Mama Luigi, making it an instant classic!

These cartoons are some of the best things that mankind has ever been blessed with. The amount of memes, YTPs, and screen stills these shows have blessed us with cannot be understated.

Mario Teaches Sex-Ed. Invents the Tossed Salad. Previous Video | Next Video

Fan videos

Certified good stuff.

Previous Video | Next Video

Furry

Awwwright!

In 1990, the public was beginning to suspect Mario of being part of the furry community. Mario denied these claims when asked. These suspicions were brought on by the fact that Mario was seen dressing up like a raccoon. Mario stated that he wore this costume not because he was a furry, but because he liked being able to float around and get more coins. However, suspicions were further aroused when he was also caught dressing up like a tanuki and later, a frog. When asked, Mario just stated that he was sort of a furry, but only in that he was fascinated by those creatures and was not aroused by them at all. These rumors went away after a while, but then they were brought back and confirmed when an anonymous source noticed that Yoshi, the dinosaur that Mario rode around, wore shoes. A picture was then found of someone who followed Yoshi to his house and discovered that Yoshi was actually a fat furry dressing up like a dinosaur. Mario said that he didn't realize that he was riding another man, but eventually Peach came out and stated to the press that Mario really was a furry. Mario then cried and threatened to kill himself. After disappearing for many years, Mario returned to the public accepting that he was a furry. Mario has since been seen at many furry conventions dressed as a penguin with overalls. He has yet been banned from Deviantart 4 times.

IT'S WAR!

Trouble in paradise?

During the 90s, Mario gained competiton as Sega introduced their newest mascot, Sonic the Hedgehog. The game proved to be popular and resulted in many lulz. Nintendo had the SNES and Sega had the Genesis, basement dwellers and fanboys on both sides droped their cum stained controllers to bitch at which was better. This soon became the Great Console Wars of the 90's. This was a war that was over 9000 better than WW2. The stage is set between two companies in a shoop da woop of oil, blood, 16-bit, name calling, plastic, shrapnel, fire, rings, coins, sex scandals, extortion, and jizz. Yet in 2001, SEGA found themselves kissing Nintendo's ass after they dropped out of the hardware business due to a little scuffle with SONY. Sonic is now played on all platforms, shamed by his transition to multi platform. In the end, Sonic never got his revenge while being invited to participate in and confirmed for Super Smash Bros. Brawl either. With his venture to Nintendo, Sonic has got the shit beaten out of him by Mario's fat wop dego ass, while his rings got stolen, then Mario killed Luigi, and has had threesomes with Peach and Daisy possibly getting them pregnant. Sonic now plays with Tails's penis daily all for the lulz and the cost of never making a good game again.

Child Soldiers - The Shocking (link No) Story of the Koopalings

The Koopalings who were the original 7 sons of Bower (link occult and Satan), including the new child of Bowser known as Bowser Jr. (link baby). Teaching society to send their children to die in War since 1987 and especially the upcoming WW3 than hate children, about the time of the release of Super Mario Bros. 3. (link The Hunger Games) Bellow is shit nobody cares about.

Mario niggers

Mario is from New York and that automatically makes him a Nigger

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Galleries

Mario About missing Pics

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  Mariocash
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  This is what Mario and Bowser actually look like.
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  Don't play this game!
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  Play this game instead! (But keep in mind that Daisy will also rape you to death.)
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  AWESOME
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  Mario's Mexican brother, Celio.
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  He will drink your pee
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  Super Mario Christ
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  Making Yoshi his bitch once again
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  Mario, doing what he does best.
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  Mario at the peak of stardom.
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  Mario and company show some emotions.
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  MOAR MARIO PLZTHNX.
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  At one time, Mario was just an American immigrant.
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  Mario goes to San Francisco.
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  A star is born.
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  FLAWLESS VICTORY
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  The exciting story of a typical Mario game.
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  Mario betrays his "friends" constantly.
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  An artist's impression of what Mario looked like during these days, edited from a misleading thumbnail.
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  Mario in his latest hit game, Mario Moonshine.
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  Brotherly love.
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  At one point, Mario was a black person.
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  Mario becomes an hero.
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  Super Mario Bros. in all its graphic detail.
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  I'M TRIPPIN BALLS, MAN!
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  What the game would look like IRL.
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  Mario gets no play.
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  LOL WUT
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  Mario before 10 A.M.
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  The Triforcifixion, when Mario died for all mankind.
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  IT IS DELICIOUS CAEK. YOU MUST EAT IT.
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  An example of Mario games' serious dialogue.
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  Not only is Mario against Torrent downloading, he is also an hero.
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  Weegee's bout to lay down some hot beats.
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  IT IS DELICIOUS CAEK
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  AHAHAHAHAHAHA
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  Somehow, the Internet manages to make everything gayer.
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  Who the fuck takes their time to draw this shit?
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  NERD RAAAAAAAAGE
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  Making money from whoring is fun.
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  GTFO
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  MS Paint Relationship Comic depicting Barrel Roll.
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  Mario in his true form.
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  Again, Mario is fucking fat.
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  Super Mario Bros. IRL
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  Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario etc...
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  Peek-a-boo!
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  Game over
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  Reality Edition
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  Ready for your blow job?
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  Mario's creator
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Shitty fanart About missing Pics

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[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  unfunny the first time
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  ..and again..
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  Piranha Plant wants Mario's italian sausage!
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  Mario shows off his fashion sense.
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  Bowser as seen in Super Paper Mario.
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  Mario is fucking fat.
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1-Up About missing Pics

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[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  He's gonna fix your plumbing!
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  Goatse 64
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  Rule 63
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  O SHI-
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  Raep
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  Luigi wants some peaches too
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  Wait, anyone remember this game?
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  Yep, at fucking last, Mario raeped Peach.
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  How is Toadd formed? How Peach get pragnent?
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  The Mushroom Kingdom has many exotic creatures.
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  Moar Raep
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  Mario taking a break.
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  Failed because she has smaller boobs than Mario.
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  And even close-up they don't get any bigger.
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  I bet you thought Mario was saving her to be a nice guy.
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Porn comic About missing Pics

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[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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more images: [1][2][3]

See also

He knows where you sleep...

• 345rv5
• Bowsette
• Braid
• Digibutter.nerr
• gallantmon8
• Hotel Mario
• Mario Fan Games Galaxy
• Mario Paint
• Moviebob
• Mushroom Kingdom Fusion
• Nintendo
• Pikmin
• Rainbow Road
• Ron Jeremy
• Sonic
• SuperMarioLogan
• Waluigis-girl
• Wario
• Weegee

External links

• Mario on Newgrounds- MARRYO VERSUS VEGETA OMGGG
• Zero Punctuation review of Super Mario Galaxy

Mario is part of a series on [Or Get OutGet N]

See {{Pokedex}} and {{Sonic}} for moar faggotry. Consoles Nintendo Entertainment System • Super Nintendo Entertainment System • Game Boy Advance • Virtual Boy • Nintendo 64 • Gamecube • Nintendo DS • Wii • Wii U • Nintendo Switch Games & Characters Advance Wars • Animal Crossing • Banjo Kazooie • Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg • Bomberman • Buck Bumble • Castlevania • Chrono Trigger • Conker's Bad Fur Day • Contra • Digimon • Donkey Kong • Duck Hunt • DuckTales • EarthBound • Final Fantasy • Fire Emblem • Kirby • Kingdom Hearts • Legend of Zelda • Mario • Mario Paint • Megaman • Metroid • Mike Tyson's Punch Out • Phoenix Wright • Pikmin • Pokémon • Professor Layton • Quest 64 • Shaq-Fu • Sonic the Hedgehog • Splatoon • Star Fox • Street Fighter 2 • Super Smash Bros • Superman 64 • Tetris • Wario • Wii Fit Miscellaneous 3DSPlaza • Amiibo • Bowsette • Can't let you do that, StarFox! • Digibutter.nerr • Falcon Punch • Fantendo • Is This Battletoads • It's a Kirby, Retard • Haunted Majora's Mask Cartridge • Hong Kong 97 • Hotel Mario • King Dedede Drooling While Eating • Kirbyraeg • Krystal Can't Enjoy Her Sandwich • LINK MAH BOIIIII • Luigi's Death Stare • Miiverse • Mushroom Kingdom Fusion • NintendoLife • Reggie Fils-Aime • Smogon University • Solid Snake's Ass • Super Mario 64 Iceberg • Triforce • What is a man? • Yoshi Art Forums • ZeldaOnline

Mario is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

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