Kingdom Hearts

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Kingdom Hearts is Squaresoft's biggest blowout hit since the Great ~~Gayification~~, more colloquially known as their merger with Enix. This game features a wide variety of themes related to friendship, love, and sacrifice that only the prestigious Nazi state of Japan could ever concoct. The thinly veiled ass fucking going on between the main protagonist, Sora and his "best bud", Riku makes up %69 percent of Rule 34. If this weren't enough to sate your tingling cock/mangina, then you'll be happy to see the underage B& Roxas (WHO IS ALSO THE FUCKING PROTAGONIST, BUT, LIKE, ISN'T) get his ass pounded by a red headed pedophile named Axel (pronounced ass-hole) whose spiked hair is supported by grotesque amounts of boypussy cum. The plot of the entire franchise is just another fucking cliche of a JRPG that has big weapons, shitty boss battles, and no meaningful plot whatsoever besides the WONDERFUL JOYS OF FRIENDSHIP =DDDDDD with some "dark" shit added in for no reason but to give the game false depth.

As for girls, they are basically nonexistent in this game, and the main female Kairi does jack-shit. This just shows how weak and horrible women truly are. Oh, and also the main character has a girl persona named Xion (pronounced She-male).

In Kingdom Hearts, you become winner by approaching an enemy and beat him senselessly with a key pressing X several times. Riku, the character who is pretty angsty but not as angsty as that one other character, can also perform magic attacks ~~that do not do anything~~ that are OP and break the game unless you're a total newfag, because Square sucks at balancing games. AI partners such as Donald and Goofy assist you in battle by using up all of your potions and dying. Between stages, players are punished for their stupid decision to buy the game by being forced to play through the microwave oven version of Star Fox.

Squeenix released the Final Mix versions of their KH games in Japan only. And to add even more insult to injury, the Western releases were censored. And the censorship was retarded and inconsistent as fuck. In KH2, the enemies in the Pirates world were censored to wielding crossbows, yet Barbosa's gun wasn't censored and that fucking nigger ape hunter had a fucking shotgun in the first Kingdom Hearts and Sora was an hero. Cid was censored to only having a toothpick in his mouth instead of a cigar in every game because it's not like Timeless River Pete didn't have a pipe or the fact that fucking kids cartoons have smoking or cigars.

Typical Kingdom Hearts game.

What happens when Axel and Roxas reunite.

Origins

It was the year 2000. The world had barely entered the new millennium and the Y2K bug was averted. Yes, it seemed that mankind was at the very hallmark of it's existence.

Little did anyone know, an amazing event took place in California.

At an unknown cryogenics lab in Anaheim, the lid to an old cryogenic shuttle had been opened. Out of it came someone we were sure was dead.

Walt Disney.

You see, with his empire growing at a phenomenal level, Walt was content. But one day, while working on "The Sword and the Stone", Disney had a period of brief mortality. He was coming on 60 in this world and at the rate of his health he would never get to see the fruits of his labor. Sure, Disneyland was great. But what about that Disneyworld he planned to build in Florida? But why stop there? What about Tokyo Disney? EuroDisney? Hong Kong Disney? Maybe we can build one in Moscow and show those pinko commie sons of bitches a thing or two.

Drunk on this idea, Disney put to work some of his finest imagineers at Tommorowland to develop a way for Disney to live on into the next century. Finally, after about a year of non stop work and many fatalities in the process, Disney had himself a cryogenic chamber. The plan was that Disney would enter the cryogenic chamber and be put in a state of suspended animation. He would remain this way until his birthday, December 5th, in the year 2000. He entered cryogenic sleep on December 15th, 1965. Jealous stockholders who lost millions of dollars on this crazy scheme, said that Walt died of lung cancer due to his constant smoking habit. Also, just to take a jab at the person who made them lose money, they said he was antisemitic.

As Disney awoke from his slumber, he looked at the world around him. And everything he saw displeased him. Turns out that his multi-billion dollar company wasn't the only multi-billion dollar company out there. Microsoft, McDonald's, Coca-Cola, the whole lot. Plus, the motion pictures, made-for-TV movies, and Animated motion pictures that had his name on the title sucked. He made this discovery after watching The Emperor's New Groove.

What most disturbed Disney was that his beloved children from the 50's who used to have so much imagination were now fat little fucks that had no imagination whatsoever.

Feeling betrayed by the demographic who practically built his fortune, Disney looked to a new demographic: Video Gamers.

Although he was first skeptical, Disney was willing to try anything to get into the wallets of these very docile creatures. So he studied them.

After his study he made a conclusion.

Video Gamers like Anime.

Anime is commonly associated with RPG's

Many gamers grew up watching the shitstorm spawned by his period in stasis.

Why the hell couldn't he make an RPG with his characters, god damn it?

The flagship of RPGs was this fabled Final Fantasy.

It was obvious what Disney had to do:

Create a video game combining what was ~~lucrative~~ great about his animated films and combine them with the oh-so-complex and interesting characters and storylines found in Final Fantasy titles.

"By God, I'm a genius!" he said as he picked up the phone to call Squaresoft.

Games

Unfortunately, there are many instances of this disease.

Kingdom Hearts

Despite what fanfags tell you, KH1 is actually the best game in the series. The plot is actually decent, the Disney worlds have little faggotry, and the story is dark. And there's Final Fantasy cameos as well. But unfortunately, Squeenix will start fucking up and each game will get worse and worse and moar cringy.

Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories

Sora finds himself trapped in castle by a mysterious organization that slipped him a date rape drug. As such, he can't remember anything, so you get to play through the original game again! Except this was on the GBA, and unfortunately for the Wapanese fantards, the superior 3D version was a Jap-exclusive PS2 version (it did get re-released in the West in the 1.5 Remix a decade later) and you fight with CARDS! This is at least 50% gayer than the original especially with a final boss with pink showing off his willy.

Square Enix was very happy when all the fans bought this game thinking it was a brand new experience.

Kingdom Hearts 2

Kingdom Hearts II is the even more linear and gimmicky sequel to Kingdom Hearts. Unlike that first game there is ACTUAL gay content. With Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Sephiroth all in one game there's no way this wasn't targeted towards fangirls,fanboys, and 13-year-old gamers who don't know any better. They have 12 guys (half of which are already dead and Roxas left) talking about these portals to people's hearts.

Typical *Kingdom Hearts* fanboy. Notice the abundance of friends and a social life.

Only furries and morons still obsessed with Final Fantasy VII play this game, and Republicans who pre-play their children's games to make sure it won't encourage them to develop any opinions on the world around them.

A feature implemented is that in this Kingdom Hearts shamelessly ruins Pirates Of The Caribbean by adding Jack Sparrow and giving him a faggot's voice. Other movies ruined in the game include any movies that were unfortunate enough to be included in the mass murder of halfway decent Disney movies as we know them.

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days

The result of Square/Enix reading a few too many Kingdom Hearts fanfics. You play as Roxas this time around, and you have to run around doing errands for the black-coated fags in Organization XIII, some of which include investigating new worlds and killing everything that moves. The designers, attempting to silence the hoards of Axel/Roxas fangirls once and for all, threw in a Mary-Sue named Xion, complete with emo haircut and Keyblade use, to fall in love with Roxas. Of course, someone at the company loves their incest/masturbation fantasies, and makes it so Xion and Roxas are parts of the same person. The mention of Xion being a Mary Sue can spark a heated debate over teh internets, turning fangirls into internet tough guys.

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep

File:Nigger Cosplay.jpg

Niggers love Aqua, too.

If you actually played through Kingdom Hearts 2, You are a total faggot. However you were rewarded with another encrypted secret trailer from those fuckheads at Square informing you that this confusing and utterly pointless story isnt over. Much to fanboys/girls dissapointments, they decided to shit out another prequel. In this game you go to even gayer worlds and you play as Roxas AGAIN. But wait theres moar?! Its not Roxas?! The game itself has minor improvements considering you dont have to fly in that cum guzzling spaceship again. The story line's pretty much the same. Except the fact that there are 3 characters stories and they "intertwine" with each other. This consists of going to the same worlds with only certain areas blocked off depending on whose pointless story you chose to play through. One of the lead characters is a female but she sucks and her most powerful attack consists of her firing magical ping pong balls out of her keyhole. This just provides us with more evidence that the dipshit creators are running out of fucking ideas with recycled characters and even more faggotry than any other game in the series, and they use this type of gameplay for now on. Oh, and everybody dies in the end.

Kingdom Hearts Re:Coded

Some argue that this originally cell phone based game actually contributes to the story. When really, it doesn't. It's nothing more than one-fifth of the original Kingdom Hearts re-hashed again ala Chain of Memories. And if that wasn't bad enough, wait for it. Here it comes. The final level of this game is the exact same setting in Chain of Memories! Woah, didn't see that coming!. They also use the excuse that the game takes place in a Datascape to have Roxas appear one more god damn time, and SPOILER!!! He's teh final boss!!!

The only note-worthy thing is the secret ending, which hints at the next shitty installment. Apparently, Sora has to revive all the dead characters that the fanbase enjoys or some shit akin to that via Kingdom Hearts 3.

Kingdom Hearts: 3D - Dream Drop Distance

Square Enix claims that this will be the saving grace for the series. However, they also said the same thing with Birth By Sleep. Despite this, millions of fans were bought over instantly with new worlds based on properties such as The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Three Musketeers, Tron: Legacy, Fantasia, and Pinocchio. Even though there was already a world based on Pinocchio. But I digress, I was bought over instantly with the fucking Musketeer world. Also, characters from The World Ends With You appear and no one cares or even know about the series in the first place. Sora and Riku have to take a lame test called the Mark of Mastery, the same test Aqua and Terra took in BBS. *SPOILER* Sora failed and was kidnapped yet again ala Chain of Memories by Xehanort, mainly his younger self, and his Heartless and Nobody incarnations. ~~Axel~~ Lea (he's not a 'Nobody' anymore because he's an hero), Sora's ~~boy~~friend Riku, Mickey, Goofy, and Donald saved his ass once he fell asleep into "darkness".

The gameplay is basically Birth by Sleep (it has the same framework, game engine, and structure) but way more floaty and cheap via Flowmotion, plus you can make ~~Pokemon~~ Spirits. And in the original 3DS version, the stupid ass developers had the Balloon spell too overpowered which made the game even more cheap. In both versions, Nomura and the idiots at Squeenix made it extremely easy to get the fucking Ultima Weapon by fighting some secret boss named Julius who is basically a giant Frankenstein Pete. And to make matters worse, your Abilites are literally tied to your Spirits! You can't even own your own Abilites! Basically it's the prequel to Kingdom Hearts 3 and you fight Xehanorts.

Kingdom Hearts 3

This page contains spoilers — important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT XIGBAR IS LUXU, XEHANORT KILLS THAT USELESS CUNT KAIRI, AND RATHER THAN LEAVE THAT DUMB DAMSEL IN DISTRESS DEAD AND GET DICKED BY RIKU, SORA SACRIFICES HIMSELF SO KAIRI CAN LIVE. OR NOT AS NOW HE'S IN SHIBUYA OR SOME SHIT. HOLY SHIT THIS FAGGOTRY WON'T END!!!1

Moar info: Kingdom Hearts 3.

File:Aquawasraped.jpg

She was asking for it

First announced at E3 2013, this fucking game came out six years later on PS4 and Xbox One, finally becoming a multi-platform game. This game caused fantards to came and shit their pants in joy and it had the extremely annoying, normie Kingdom Hearts Jewtubers aka, the 'X-Keepers,' milking the fuck out of this game's hype for years. The game itself was supposed to end the Xehonort Saga, but it only bothers to deal with that shit in the last hour or so while you spend five weeks playing around with dumbass Pixar shit and watch an updated version of the Let It Go scene from Frozen, proving that movies nowadays suck.

Gameplay-wise, take ~~take Birth by Sleep, Re:coded, and 358/2 Days~~--- basically that PS4 tech demo that Square asked $60 for, add in a few sparkles and make the atmosphere less interesting, and you have the Kingdom Hearts 3 gameplay, complete with broken magic returning. That gay Starfox rip-off mini game is back after a couple of years. This time, though, instead of ripping off Starfox 64, it's ripping off Starfox Assault, because we know that game was great.

For a story, Nomura brought everything from the previous gayums back as well, including one-off tracks and a few boss themes to only be used haphazardly for minibosses and shit. Sora undoes what little development he had in Dream Drop Distance, but the villains are going ahead with their plan from that game anyway (so it's in a weird limbo state where Dream Drop Distance is both completely skippable, and still vital to understand what the fuck is happening. Great storytelling!). Meanwhile all of the Nobodies you killed in KH2 come back to life because if you an hero you become a Somebody. Including Axel, who goes to have sex with Kairi in the middle of some magic forest while most of the plot happens, and Ienzo, a NEET with the most emo bangs ever who calls Sora to tell him that they discovered that he doesn't one, not two, but three people inside of him! Sora gets told that he needs to wake them up because his rectum is hurting them, and then Sora spends five hours dicking around with that fucking mouse from Ratatouille. Meanwhile Riku and Mickey Mouse are going to the beach to look for Aqua so something can happen, and get attacked by Heartless, breaking Riku's Keyblade. Riku leaves it behind and gets the keys for his Mercedes Benz because there's a man inside of him too. Not just any man, though, HIS OWN CLONE!

The Real Organization XIII then still hasn't finished assembling their ranks, so they go and fuck around with some Disney worlds while buying time to finish their own members. They recruited that faggot from KHII who made water clones, but decided that he was too gay to have Xehonart inside of him, so they also recruit the scientist who made the Riku clone. Xehonart decides this is a bad idea because there's a ripe loli he can go inside of instead, and Vexen and Demyx say "fuck this" and give Ienzo a spare body laying around so that one of the men inside of Sora can come out.

Eventually, the gang finds Aqua, who has amber eyes, which means she's evil because women with brown eyes are genetically inferior, and like a good feminist she hasn't had a dick in ten years. She attacks Riku, but Sora saves her and beats the shit out of her. Aqua learns her lesson and becomes good, then goes to Castle Oblivion to wake Ventus up. Then evil!Ventus appears and challenges them to a fight. Aqua goes to fight him to prove how strong she is, then like a good feminist immediately gets her ass handed to her, prompting Ventus to come out of Sora and give Vanitas his second round of surprise buttsecks that game. Yen Sid realized he can count to 7, so they all have one last beach party where Kairi promises to take care of Sora, and he promises likewise. Then they all go to the Keyblade Graveyard and literally and almost immediately all get fucking killed. Sora, being such a huge Gary Stu, survives dying and goes to save everyone from actually dying in one of these games for real. Then they warp back in time and Terra's armor stops them from dying this time. Then Xehonart summons a convenient maze and everyone fights in convenient pit squares for the player to wonder into and spam Firega until the game end. Surprising nobody, Kairi gets kidnapped before she can do anything, and Roxas finally comes out of Sora's asshole to beat the shit out of Siax, and then goes to cry with Axel and Xion. Terra is revealed to be the first game's Ansem's pet nigger, so he comes back too.

After all of the bosses from the last game die again, Xehonart penetrates Kairi with his Keyblade and she dies, then laughs because he found out how to use CTRL+C CTRL+V, and opens up Kingdom Hearts. Everyone except Sora shoots him with a fucking lazor while he goes inside to the Stairway to Heaven. There, Xehonart turns into a goat and loses the final boss fight. Then he gives the X-Blade to Sora after the old dude from Birth By Sleep tells him to fuck off, and everyone except Sora forgets that he killed Kairi. Sora then goes and tells everyone that he's going to be alright, then literally goes to kill himself. Somehow this brings Kairi back, and everyone has a fun beach party without him. The end.

After the credits, Xigbar is standing around while a bunch of faggots in fursuits ask him about his roll in fursecution, and he reveals that he secretly was a main character all along. Then Maleficent and Pete stand there like fucking retards watching them all talk. If the player watched the super-duper extra ending, they see Sora fucking around in that one city from The World Ends With You, and Riku walking somewhere in Japan too. We can only assume that this means there will be a Square Enix circle-jerk soon to be announced. Just when we thought the faggotry would end, it appears it is here to stay.

Basically the plot is a fucking autistic series finale character reunion clusterfuck.

For this game, they switched to Unreal Engine 4 during development ~~hell~~ (who isn't using that fucking game engine nowadays?).

Characters

Axel expressing his affection for pooholes.

Sora - young boy who forsakes his family (until this was retconned) and life to rescue his buttbuddy Riku. He is usually followed by Donald and Goofy, presumably so that he never forgets who the fuck is signing the paychecks around here.
Riku - Sora's ambiguously gay ~~lover~~ friend
Kairi - Sora and Riku's friend. She requires boys to be her guardian or else she gets raped by the darkness.
Mickey Mouse - Everyone in the game worships him like a god, showing how egomaniacal Disney is. Serves no purpose after Kingdom Hearts 2 other than to offer Riku Blowjobs and fuck everything up.
Donald - White supremacist duck that calls other people niggers.
Goofy - Retarded southern hick.
Daisy - Doesn't do JACK SHIT and was literally in only one scene
Minnie- ALSO doesn't do JACK SHIT
Namine - DiZ and Marluxia's sex slave who can erase the memory of their rape victims.
Maleficent - Main Disney villain in the series.
Pete - Shitty comic relief villain that works for Maleficent.
DiZ/Ansem - Pedobear scientist king who fucked with some of the Organization XII members (until this was retconned)
Xemnas - Mansex and Xehanort's Nobody
Ansem (Seeker of Darkness)- Even gayer Mansex and Xehanort's Heartless
Xigbar - redneck fuck who's Xemnas's assistant (until this was retconned)
Xaldin - wigger
Vexen - ugly fucktard
Lexaeus - Zexion's man bitch and another character no one cares about
Zexion - Bookworm fag emo
Saix - Mansex's lap bitch, he and Axel's somebodies were friends with benefits
Axel - ~~Sora's~~ Roxas's gay lover
Demyx - Stoner that plays guitar to fight
Luxord - gambling british bastard
Larxene - Bitch who likes to abuse children. The most forgettable and useless character in the series. She's nearly tied with Kairi.
Roxas - The most uninteresting character in the series. Instead of finishing the series, Squeenix continues to shit out at least 100 different side stories about how "deep" Roxas is supposed to be. Half of Kingdom Hearts 2 is about him towing garbage, working as a mailman, exploring some caves, and fighting in some wifflebat tournament.
Xion - hermaphordite emo bitch who is a clone of Sora (until this was retconned) and tries to make Roxas straight
Xehanort - ganguro who's actually an old white dude with a tan. *SPOILER* HE'S THE MAIN VILLAN AND RAPED HALF OF THE CHARACTERS!!!
Terra - Emo Chad who got possessed by Xehanort
Ventus aka Roxas - Has half a heart and wants to have gay intimacy with Terra. *SPOILER* OMG ROXAS AND VENTUS ARE THE SAME FUCKING PERSON!!!!!
Aqua - Totally asking for it
Vanitas - Anonymous edgelord fag who's basically Evil Sora
Yozora - Another emo. Really stretching your creative muscle, Nomura.

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1/3 of the Kingdom Hearts characters in a nutshell

Community

The Fantards Themselves

All KH fantards are lesbians. If they aren't before entering the fandom, they will be soon.

Every KH fantard makes a music video of an emo/screamo song and puts it on youtube accompanied by random KH scenes. This is fact.

Once Sora manhandled Riku's ass we all knew we would be screwed.

Fangirls KAWAIIED over the "questionable friendship" the two boys had. So what happened? Well, they became fuck buddies, that's what freaking happened. Soon the swarms of horribly written fan fiction made several blind and may have cause some Grammar Nazis to commit suicide. Somehow, it's still better than the stories based around Axel and Roxas. Fantards also ALWAYS have very creative user names such as:

Roxas, Sora, or any other KH character + (insert number here)
KH character + some random Japanese word, because this shitty fanbase is full of Wapanese who get off to Utada Hikaru

File:Typicakhnamelfag.png

Typical KH faggot usernames

KH or Final Fantasy ability/thing + (insert number here)
KH character +....you get the point.

When dealing with Kingdom Hearts fantards, it's important to remember that it has one of the most fucked up fandoms evar that somehow, still exists.

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How to annoy a KH fantard:

1."KH is a kids game. How old are you people? 7 years old?"

2.Tell them their wet dreams of Axel fucking Roxas will never happen. Axel became an hero to save him. ~~He's dead; get over it. End of story.~~ Skye! SHEEEIIIIT!!! Axel isn't a "Nobody" anymore and was resurrected back to being Lea! He saved ~~Roxas's~~ Sora's ass in Dream Drop Distance lol

2. Point out the fact that the plot is as deep as a puddle of dog piss. "Their hurting will be mended when you return to end it." The fuck does that mean?

3. Tell the 300 pound chick in the Kairi outfit at Otacon that you spent the whole morning puking, because Jesus fucking Christ no one should ever have to see that many fat rolls.

4. Riku isn't a misunderstood hero. He's the world's biggest douche, second only to the great Gary Motherfucking Oak.

5. Troll on fanfiction.net by flaming all the shitty ass stories. Or simply tell them that their 'story' sucks and wait for their reaction.

6. Tell a yaoi fangirl that you just KNOW Sora and Kairi will end up together.

7. PRESSING X ~~TO JASON~~ TAKES SO MUCH SKILL, GUYZ!

8. ~~Tell them there will NEVER be a Kingdom Hearts 3.~~ Syke, Squeenix strikes once again! ~~Through... highly rendered filler? And even moar cryptic shit? What a piece of- OMG you can now make your custom KH Avatar?! GAYUM OF THE YEAARRR!~~-DECONFIRMED! (Be sure to look out for the fantards and Jewtubers milking the fuck out of this GAYUM).

9. Tell the still existing fantards that nobody cares about Kingdom Hearts anymore, so the previously mentioned title came out five years too late for anyone to give a shit about.

10. Insult their favorite Jewtubers like those faggots TheGamersJoint (he screwed over a KH2 modder for Jewtube shekels), HMK, Skyward~~Fag~~Wing, and that dyke SuperButterBuns

Fanfiction

KH Fan fiction is one of the worst things to exist in the history of the world, right behind Sonic fanfiction. Common elements include:

No Plot. AT ALL. Just like the games.
Sora dreams of Riku fucking his ass.
Shitty high school AUs where every male character takes it up the ass, because het is ew.
Mpreg in which Sora and Riku get to raise an assbaby of their own.
Vampires. They might sparkle if the author is faggy enough to like that shit.
A songfic highlighting the author's love of My Chemical Romance.
Kairi dies a horrible, bloody death.But hey at least it's a plot development.
Riku cuts himself.. darkness..blah blah blah...
Sora is randomly raped several times.
Kairi is a bitch and wants to fuck Sora all on her own.Just like the games
Have them randomly proclaim their love for each other for no reason at all
????
No. No profit.

Pairings are teh Best!

KH fangirls will pair any characters together as long as they deem it fappable. They're all gay, of course:

-AkuRoku - The weeaboo word for pairing Axel with Roxas. Mostly angsty, suicidal stories that go on for 500,000 words or more. S&M is a common element, and fangirls can't get off unless there are at least eighty-seven rape scenes.

-RikuxSora - Generally portrays Sora as a pussy bitch who takes it up the ass from Riku, who might as well be Yuki from Gravitation. Sora MUST be raped by Ansem in order for the story to be considered good.

-SoraxRoxas - Masturbation FTW! Apparently fantards don't care that they're THE SAME FUCKING PERSON.

-Zemyx - Zexion and Demyx is one of the most popular pairings, despite the fact that the characters NEVER FUCKING MEET IN THE GAMES. EVER.

-VenxVan Ventus and Vanitas. See SoraxRoxas.

-Cleon - Cloud and Leon, who is actually Squall, but doesn't use that name anymore since he's angst-ing about hard his home world got pwned. The most emo bullshit you'll ever see in your life. Apparently, because they stand back-to-back in one scene in KHII, this is a legitimate pairing, even though they don't even know each other prior to that other than through mutual friends, who, though it's redundant to say at this point, shouldn't even exist in the same fucking time-space.

-Luxigger - No, not Luxord and a negro. Luxord and Tigger. This is quite literally the only pairing worth looking into.

-CrickAnsem - Jiminy Cricket and Ansem, Seeker of Darkness. Is it wrong for me to say that Jiminy is the one that seduced him?

At least 99% of all Kingdom Hearts fan fiction includes all of these pairings in one story and does not necessarily have to be bound by pesky details like continuity.

Notable Gameplay

Enemies

The Heartless who have no bodies.
The Nobodies who have no hearts.
The Dreameaters who feed off of dreams. Also a cartoonish version of the Unversed
The Unversed who feed off of "Negative Emotions" or some bullshit like that.
The Goatse-less who like it in the butt.
Solid Snake's Ass.
Your patience
Your sanity
Your IQ
Your common sense.
Your heterosexuality.
black people
Xemnas (anagram for his actual name: Mansex)
Utada Hikaru's horrible English lyrics.
The bad lulz, old memes etc.
Org Infinity, who fight with My Little Ponies.
Your mom (along with your mom's mom)
smart people
Decent games as we know them
Anybody opposed to abortion
Anybody opposed to homosexuality
Captain Falcon's giant cock.
Sarah Palin.
Fangirls

The ending: THE VILLAN IS TECHNICALLY THE SAME PERSON OMG!!!

It's a vicious cycle

Worlds

During your travels, you get to visit a bunch of shitty "worlds". (More commonly known as "Small trial of linear rooms with a Disney theme") Due to the overwhelming list of these places. And to cater to your confusion. We've taken the liberty of listing each world and a small description of what you can find there. Happy travels.

100 Acre Wood - The only safe place in the entire series but unfortunately, The gore's downgraded.
Agrabah - The one world that keeps appearing in every game. Home of Bin Laden and his dirty street rats. Fun Fact: Half of 358/2 Days takes place in Agrabah.
Atlantica - The world that had some interesting techniques in it's original appearance. But then it got raped in the sequel. The diverse dialect of this world is noticeable when all happy characters shout, "Finny fun!" at the top of their lungs. Enter at your own risk.
Beast's Castle - The world that tries to teach you about love. But fails horrendously. Music's nice though.
Castle Oblivion - Linear world is linear. Straight path general.
Castle of Dreams - Despite what the title says, the entire world isn't just the fucking Castle. These names are starting to get real original, right?
Country of the Musketeers - Known for it's concept. Which is completely brilliant.
Deep Jungle - The world that appeared once but then never appeared again. Assumed to have been devoured by darkness
Deep Space - The world that everyone was hyped as fuck for. But were disappointed with the result.
Destiny Islands - Not even a relaxing island level can save this series. Also known as Pedobait Islands.
Disney Castle - Home of walking brooms and anthropomorphic furries. AKA deviantArt: The World.
Dwarf Woodlands - Full of fruity midgets who trounce around, trying to protect their "Princess".
Enchanted Dominion - The stupidest name for a world in existence. Moving on.
End of the World - A rather appropriate name for a final level. Chernabog is thrown into this hellhole for God knows why.
The Final World - The Kingdom Heart's Afterlife, here Sora proves once and for all Death has no meaning in this series by waltzing out of it as soon as it's introduced and making friends with a Stuffed Cat.
Halloween Town - Composed of a tree of holiday-based worlds. Halloween Town being the most prominent. The smallest of course being, "Arbor Day City".
Hollow Bastion - Steampunk castle with pipes. A part of Radiant Garden. But they don't tell you this until the second game.
Keyblade Graveyard - An empty filler world with a bunch of fucking Keyblades.
La Cité des Cloches - The City of Bells for you 'murricans. Full of bells and shit.
Land of Departure - Just a fucking castle and some mountains. These names aren't going to get anymore original, are they?
Mirage Arena - Filler world used for multiplayer. No actual story content. Ignore it's existence.
Monstro - The worlds with the best music are always the ones with the most confusing layout. Vore is at it's highest here.
Mysterious Tower - Just a tower and the small plains surrounding it. Right, these names aren't getting anymore original.
Neverland - Despite it's name, only Captain Crunch's Pirate Ship and Big Ben are visited. The real islands are visited in Days and Birth by Sleep. You can also fly here, which is pretty neat.
Olympus Coliseum - Appears in every game, it's purpose is to act as a filler world to insert tournaments.
Port Royal - The world that got raped the most. Jack Sparrow's reputation is ruined.
Prankster's Paradise - Was supposed to appear in 358/2 Days. But was omitted because no one really likes Pinocchio.
Pride Lands - While it is based on the best movie in Disney canon. It's appearance has caused furries to invade the series. Only making it shittier for everyone else.
Scala Ad Caelum - Is an Original World that is somehow more uninspired than The World That Never Was and only an excuse for Nomura to reference Final Fantasy Versus XIII again. Also Sora fights Xehanort Here.
Space Paranoids - In which the Master Control Program attempts to take over the worst operating system in history. AKA Deep Space 2: the Electric Boogaloo
Symphony of Sorcery - Based on Fantasia. Chernabog is supposed to be here, but he left to become a savior among the denizens of this world.
The Land of Dragons - You know, you could have just said "China". This world is full of questionable people. Even the main character is one. Make sure to always be on your guard when traveling here.
The World That Never Was - Cryptic fanfiction world that tries to be "edgy".
Timeless River - The world that makes you feel old. It's known for the infamous phrase that came from the Pete boss battle that took place in it, "GET OUT OF MY WAY!"
Traverse Town - Home to people who have lost their world. Among these including Merlin and the 101 Dalmations.
Twilight Town - Caters to depressed faggots who like to sit on clock towers eating ice cream, completely unaware of the fact that they're SECONDS AWAY FROM DEATH.
Wonderland - The single most confusing world in the series. The music is known to drive you insane. If anything, it makes you "wonder" why this world fucking exists.

Gallery

A test you must pass before being able to play the game.
He love the cock.
What really happens to Xemnas in Kingdom Hearts.
Typical Kingdom Hearts fans

Kingdom Hearts

Contents

Origins