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Latvia: Difference between revisions

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Created page with " thumb|This is a picture of Russians looting in [[Eastern Europe|Estonia, lol wut]] '''Latvians''', like citizens of many tiny ex-[[Soviet Russia|Soviet..."
 
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[[File:Latvian mickey mouse.jpg|thumb|right|Latvian Mickey Mouse, said to eat the souls of homosexual children]]
[[File:Latvian gay pride parade.jpg|thumb|right|Latvian Gay Pride Parade: Every Tuesday & Thursday]]
'''Latvia''' is [[Shit|one of those countries]] you mention and everyone remembers [[Hetalia]], as depicted in the [[anime]] it's a [[Yaoi|little boy with no self-confidence]], which is what Latvia is today - A tiny shithole full of Nazi-wannabes who do nothing useful to
fulfill their dream of purging [[Russians|absolutely]] [[Jews|unnecessary]] [[Homosexual|people]] and causing [[Drama]] whenever it's possible.
As indoctrinated by their [[Aryan|founding fathers]], Latvians are born with hate towards anything that isn't [[Nazi|Latvian]] and [[Heterosexual]], making them the most racist, and the best troll-country in the world today, trolling russians and jews being their only purpose of existence.


[[Image:happy_urla5.jpg|thumb|This is a picture of Russians looting in [[Eastern Europe|Estonia]], lol wut]]
<center>
'''Latvians''', like citizens of many tiny ex-[[Soviet Russia|Soviet]] nations ([[Lithuania]], [[Kyrgyzstan]]) lack a cultural identity, and make up for this by claiming to have invented absolutely everything under the sun, including the [[television]], [[alcohol]], [[fire]], and [[AIDS]]. The fact is, Latvians did NOT invent the [[television]], [[alcohol]], or [[fire]]. Sorry. They did, however, launch a distributed denial of service attack against [[Idlenet]]; thusly all botnets that are complete failures are referred to as Latvian botnets.
'''Come visit Latvia to see a holiday dedicated to Nazis'''
</center>
<center>
<youtube>sVe27bMouUM</youtube>
</center>


The primary export of Latvia is the fat suctioned from the gigantic ass of [[Areems]] and Gedroics, which is rendered and made into soap by more intelligent nations.
{{quote|I'm a [[Fag|European]] like you! And your ancestor killed my [[Jew|ancestor]]. |Jew [[Trying too hard]]}}


One of the more unique customs of Latvia is the Feast of Count Blacula, a local holiday during which Latvians cremate a goat and hurl the ashes at the "[[Jameth|cretinous Jew]]".
[[File:LatvianAirForceRoundelPre1940.png|thumb|right|[[MFW|Mfw]] Latvians used this as their [[9/11|air force]] symbol since 1918]]


Latvia's current president is Valdis Zatlers aka Doctor Doom, who rules the country with an iron fist. He would like to remind you that "Latvia is [[serious business]], ya."
== History of The Latvian Empire ==


==History of Latvia==
[[Over 9000]] years ago subhuman [[Niggers|Latvian tribes]] inhabited the green plains of the coast of the Baltic sea, spreading Latviaids across the land by having [[Incest|mass-incest]] orgies and [[Religion|obeying]] their cosmic pagan overlords [[Angela Merkel|Laima]] and [[Hitler|Pērkons]] and selling useless amber jewelry.
Savages being savages argued about [[Shit noone cares about|politics and agriculture]] all the time, so country was split into a few parts and it was easy for Germans to [[rape]] and conquer lesser states one by one and installing their [[christian]] [[faggotry]].
Germans taught Latvians homosexuality, which is the reason why Latvia was such a [[Pussy|pussy-ass]] [[Faggot|faggot]] country until 1918 when [[Lie|they finally got some balls]] and [[pwned]] some reds and germans, caused massive [[drama]] for nothing and became a [[Shit|prosperous]] [[USA|nation]] selling nothing but expired bacon and dairy products to filthy brits.
But it wasn't over for them, as the [[Retards|Latvian folk]] were about to embrace the [[Rainbow Stalin|rainbow]] once again. It wasn't that bad to say the least and when Hitler began his campaign of [[Holocaust|bathing every jew in europe]], it got even better and Latvia fell gay for Germany, which reds didn't like, and as already known, owned Germany and took [[Bullshit|back what they deserved]].
In the 90s, Latvia made more drama. This time together with Estoners and Lithuanians, but once again it was all useless [[drama]], as USSR was bound to [[fail|collapse]] anyway. Latvia gained independence along with [[atleast 100]] [[Shit nobody cares about|other obscure countries]] which to this day haven't done anything useful, with a possible exception of Latvia and Lithuania excelling at rates of becoming [[an hero]] and having an [[awesome]] [[Internets|internet]] connection.


Since the beginning of time, Latvia has been [[serious business]]. They were once a great power, the rulers of the Baltics, until [[Last Thursday]], when [[over 9000]] minions of [[Tacgnol]] came to bother [[Longcat]], who was slumbering under the Baltic Sea. [[Longcat]] was all "Tacgnol doesn't know about my powers" and kicked his ass so that he could go back to sleep. All this happened on Latvia. It was like two [[fatass|sumo wrestlers]] [[fighting]] on a dime. Latvia got pwned, but then went back to looking at [[rule 34|Pokérotica]] out of [[Penthouse]].
== [[Britain's Got No Fucking Talent|Latvia's got no fucking talent]] ==
[[Last thursday]] a [[Retard|Latvian comedian]] [[Powerword|Gatis Kandis]] showed his [[Fail|excellent performance]] on Britain's Got Talent.  


After this tragedy, they claim to have founded the [[Silver Circle]]. They also claim to have invented Politcasm and ground meats, the only things they actually did do, but, as always, they did it wrong.
<center>
'''This guy [[LOLWUT|also raps]]'''
</center>
<center>
<youtube>NbUSjexRJm4</youtube>
</center>


The national sport of Latvia is Wayfinder, as it has been ever since [[last Thursday]].
== Latvian Empire today ==
Many Latvians are extremely hostile to races [[Niggers|inferior to their own]]. If [[There are no niggers on the internet|you're a nigger]] in Latvia, you [[Unrealistic expectations|might get lucky to get from point A to point B with only getting stared at]], where as if you're less lucky, you'll get [[raped|beaten]] or even killed by some gay-ass [[hipster]] teenagers or [[Russians]]. [[Homosexuality]] in Latvia is [[B&]] and Gay Parades are accompanied with different, sharp projectiles.
[[Typical]] Latvians are Subhumans who can be seen staggering drunk down the street, crying about how horrible their country is because of [[Russians]], [[Gays]] and [[Jews]]. Latvians also lack tolerance towards [[Tourism|tourists]], as they find them as [[retarded]], [[ALL CAPS|loud]] and [[Irony|obnoxious]]. What most Latvians don't realize, is that tourism is one of the small things that keeps their shitty [[economy]] afloat, together with (only ethnic Latvian [[seriously]]!) [[whores]] who are [[Pegging]] [[Fag]]gy male [[Swedish]] Sex Tourists or work as [[Prostitute]]s in Western and Northern Europe, plywood and dairy products.
Avoid this country at all costs.


==Latvia Today==
== Things not found in Latvia ==
*[[Faggots]]
*[[Niggers|Black people]]
*[[Money]]
*[[Bronies]]
*[[Life]]


Latvia suffers an infestation of its [[Russia|Russian]] enemies, after they realized how [[Shit|shitty]] Russia was and snuck into the nearest [[Pool|country]] to give [[AIDS]].


Most Latvians are [[Satanist]], because after they got [[Rape|raped]] by [[Leftard|Stalin]] [[last Thursday]], they're still [[butthurt]]. The others just don't give a [[shit]].
== How to troll Latvians ==


[[Nobody|Everyone]] in Latvia watches Television. One Latvian TV station, Howiereportinglive, won the THRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS from Scotty Vanity. Latvia is also unfortunate enough to have [[MTV]] Latvija, which continuously broadcasts shitty [[emo]] [[wigger]] music and [[unfunny|reality shows]]. UPDATE: The economy is so bad that they don't even have that any more.
*Inform them that their cultural developing level was equal to them of [[Nigger]]s before Germans conquered and colonized their country
*Tell them that they are actually Finno-Ugrians by refering the admixture with Livonians (an Finno-Ugrian ethnic group that lived in Latvia)
*Mention that the [[Soviet Union]] liberated Latvia from the German Occupation (Latvians will be extremly butthurt).
*Point out that Admiring of Latvian Nazi Collaborators is only the Expression of their [[True|Inferiority complex towards Russia]].
*Inform them that the real purpose of the American Military Bases in their country is to keep them under American Dominance and not to protect them from Russia
*Point out that their Protector USA is responsible for the Migrant Crisis


==National Anthem of Latvia==
== Gallery ==


Now this is a story all about how my
{{cg|Pictures Of Latvian Empire|gall|center|<gallery>
 
Country got flipped turned upside down
 
And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there
 
I'll tell you how I become a boring country called Latvia.
 
 
In the west Soviet Union born and raised
 
On the Baltics is where I spent most of my days
 
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool
 
And all shootin' some [[homosexuals]] outside of the school
 
When a couple of [[Russia|Commies]] that were up to no good
 
Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood
 
I got in one little fight and the Saeima got scared
 
And said, "You're leaving the Soviet Union and changing your name back to Latvia"
 
 
I whistled for a flag and when it came near
 
The plating was burgundy and white and it had a 2:1 ratio
 
If anything I could say that this flag was rare
 
But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!"
 
I pulled up some shit around 2004
 
And I yelled to NATO "Hey, lemme join!"
 
Looked at the EU I was finally there
 
To sit on my ass as the boring country of Latvia
 
==Latvia ([[Eurovision]] 2008)==
<center><youtube>zHLqfkU_0xA</youtube></center>
EPIC!!! FUCKING SHIT THEY DIDNT WIN!
 
HA HA, THE RUSSIANS KICKED THEIR ASSES. (Recent [[conspiracy|research]] suggests NINJA INVOLVEMENT!)
 
==Latvians==
 
Latvians are strange folk. Made of 2 parts [[Cavemen|Latgall]], 1 part [[Russian]] and another part Jew, the greatest aspirations they have in life is to become [[an hero|an folk hero]], the ballad of their [[faggotry|deeds]] being spread across the land.
 
What makes Latvia slightly less fail is the lack of [[black people]]. Roughly there's about 20 of them. Only niggers have made a club which is now about 2 years old ([[srsly]]). Any nigger who dares wander the dark corners of Latvia gets instant punch to the face by citizens. Any actual nigger children get beat up at schools etc.
 
Every year faggots and lesbos do their pride parade faggotry festival festivity or shit. Most of the time it get's [[lulz|lulzy]]. The only people who go watch these ass parades are only those who are there to bash the ever loving shit out of homos. Usually it ends with people shouting at fags and throwing (human) [[shit]] at them both figuratively and literally, because unlike Russia, they can't get their gay asses pwned by everyone, like they can in Russia. Makes you wonder why the fuck these ass-pirates even make such festivals.
To put it simply if you are a nigger it's tough shit for you. If you are gay it's even tougher shit for you. Gay niggers are natural enemies of Latvians so you can make the job easier for them by becoming [[an hero]].
 
 
===Children===
 
Latvian children are [[retarded|immoral]] [[killdozer|monsters]] that [[rape|vandalize]] everything they see. Most of Latvian children dream of becoming [[an hero|an folk hero]] since they become like 4 years old. Every third Latvian child is [[Jew|Jewish]] or [[Russian]]
 
===[[Women]]===
 
There are no [[women]] in Latvia (except Mikhail Zadornov). There are only men dressed as women, because the [[Russia|Ruskys]] went in and took their [[women]] back from Latvia after they ran away from home. The closest thing they have is prostitutes. You can find many cheap prostitutes and brides in Latvia.
 
==Gallery==
<center><gallery>
<center><gallery>
Image:fat_ppl.jpg|Latvian citizens
Image:fat_ppl.jpg|The very uncommon - fat Latvian couple
Image:cukmen.jpg|Latvian idols
Image:cukmen.jpg|Latvian idols
Image:bush_zatler_hitler.jpg|Comrades
Image:bush_zatler_hitler.jpg|Comrades
Image:transport_problem.jpg|Our country has a problem...
Image:transport_problem.jpg|Our country has a problem...
Image:Transport problem riga trolleybus 2016.jpg|Nothing has changed 10 years later..
Image:Latvia-Riga-Russian-population.png|Latvians are helpless against Russian Empire people, they are taking back Riga since 1991.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:stealth_zacha.jpg|Apparently disabled persons do not have this problem.
Image:stealth_zacha.jpg|Apparently disabled persons do not have this problem.
Image:LV_police.jpg|Looks like police is disabled, too.
Image:LV_police.jpg|Looks like police is disabled, too.
Image:Wife_usage.jpg|Latvia still uses woman powered ploughs.
Image:Wife_usage.jpg|Latvia still uses woman powered ploughs.
Image:fuhrer_lv.jpg|The leader
Image:fuhrer_lv.jpg|The leader
Image:Latviandish.jpg|A [[typical|typical]] Latvian breakfast.
Image:Zatler-rice.JPG|Political affairs
Image:Zatler-rice.JPG|Political affairs
Image:Fat_years.jpg|[[The man]]
Image:Fat_years.jpg|[[The man]]
Image:Modern_transport.jpg|Typical woman driver in Latvia
Image:Modern_transport.jpg|Typical woman driver in Latvia
Image:Latvian Internets.jpg|Latvian Internets
Image:Latvian Internets.jpg|Shittiest Latvian Internet Provider. Ironically, Latvians have the 3rd fastest download speed.
</gallery></center>
</gallery>}}
 
== External links ==
*[http://www.latvia.travel/en Latvian Tourism Site]
*[http://millionreasonswhylatviaisthebestcountryintheworld.com/ Million Reasons Why]
*[http://www.draugiem.lv MySpace for Latvians]
*[http://www.stormfront.org/forum/showthread.php?t=1740 Latvian Politics]


==External links==
*[http://millionreasonswhylatviaisthebestcountryintheworld.com/ Million reasons why Latvia is the best country in the world]
*[http://www.draugiem.lv MySpace for Latvians. Notice the orange color sponsored by Tautas Partija]
*[http://www.stormfront.org/forum/showthread.php?t=1740 Political discussions about latvian issues]
*[http://www.stormfront.org/forum/showthread.php?t=467471&page=2 Celebrations in Latvia]
<br/>
<br/>
{{Commonwealth}}
{{Commonwealth}}
{{Timeline|Featured article September 30, [[2005]]|[[Ohnotheydidnt]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[IBM]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured article September 30, [[2005]]|[[Ohnotheydidnt]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[IBM]]}}
[[Category:Locations]]
[[Category:Locations]]

Latest revision as of 09:41, 30 January 2019

Latvian Mickey Mouse, said to eat the souls of homosexual children
Latvian Gay Pride Parade: Every Tuesday & Thursday

Latvia is one of those countries you mention and everyone remembers Hetalia, as depicted in the anime it's a little boy with no self-confidence, which is what Latvia is today - A tiny shithole full of Nazi-wannabes who do nothing useful to fulfill their dream of purging absolutely unnecessary people and causing Drama whenever it's possible. As indoctrinated by their founding fathers, Latvians are born with hate towards anything that isn't Latvian and Heterosexual, making them the most racist, and the best troll-country in the world today, trolling russians and jews being their only purpose of existence.

Come visit Latvia to see a holiday dedicated to Nazis

   
“ 		 
I'm a European like you! And your ancestor killed my ancestor.
  		„
  		 

—Jew Trying too hard

Mfw Latvians used this as their air force symbol since 1918

History of The Latvian Empire

Over 9000 years ago subhuman Latvian tribes inhabited the green plains of the coast of the Baltic sea, spreading Latviaids across the land by having mass-incest orgies and obeying their cosmic pagan overlords Laima and Pērkons and selling useless amber jewelry. Savages being savages argued about politics and agriculture all the time, so country was split into a few parts and it was easy for Germans to rape and conquer lesser states one by one and installing their christian faggotry. Germans taught Latvians homosexuality, which is the reason why Latvia was such a pussy-ass faggot country until 1918 when they finally got some balls and pwned some reds and germans, caused massive drama for nothing and became a prosperous nation selling nothing but expired bacon and dairy products to filthy brits. But it wasn't over for them, as the Latvian folk were about to embrace the rainbow once again. It wasn't that bad to say the least and when Hitler began his campaign of bathing every jew in europe, it got even better and Latvia fell gay for Germany, which reds didn't like, and as already known, owned Germany and took back what they deserved. In the 90s, Latvia made more drama. This time together with Estoners and Lithuanians, but once again it was all useless drama, as USSR was bound to collapse anyway. Latvia gained independence along with atleast 100 other obscure countries which to this day haven't done anything useful, with a possible exception of Latvia and Lithuania excelling at rates of becoming an hero and having an awesome internet connection.

Latvia's got no fucking talent

Last thursday a Latvian comedian Gatis Kandis showed his excellent performance on Britain's Got Talent.

This guy also raps

Latvian Empire today

Many Latvians are extremely hostile to races inferior to their own. If you're a nigger in Latvia, you might get lucky to get from point A to point B with only getting stared at, where as if you're less lucky, you'll get beaten or even killed by some gay-ass hipster teenagers or Russians. Homosexuality in Latvia is B& and Gay Parades are accompanied with different, sharp projectiles. Typical Latvians are Subhumans who can be seen staggering drunk down the street, crying about how horrible their country is because of Russians, Gays and Jews. Latvians also lack tolerance towards tourists, as they find them as retarded, loud and obnoxious. What most Latvians don't realize, is that tourism is one of the small things that keeps their shitty economy afloat, together with (only ethnic Latvian seriously!) whores who are Pegging Faggy male Swedish Sex Tourists or work as Prostitutes in Western and Northern Europe, plywood and dairy products. Avoid this country at all costs.

Things not found in Latvia


How to troll Latvians

  • Inform them that their cultural developing level was equal to them of Niggers before Germans conquered and colonized their country
  • Tell them that they are actually Finno-Ugrians by refering the admixture with Livonians (an Finno-Ugrian ethnic group that lived in Latvia)
  • Mention that the Soviet Union liberated Latvia from the German Occupation (Latvians will be extremly butthurt).
  • Point out that Admiring of Latvian Nazi Collaborators is only the Expression of their Inferiority complex towards Russia.
  • Inform them that the real purpose of the American Military Bases in their country is to keep them under American Dominance and not to protect them from Russia
  • Point out that their Protector USA is responsible for the Migrant Crisis

Gallery

Pictures Of Latvian Empire About missing Pics
  • The very uncommon - fat Latvian couple
    The very uncommon - fat Latvian couple
  • Latvian idols
    Latvian idols
  • Comrades
    Comrades
  • Our country has a problem...
    Our country has a problem...
  • Nothing has changed 10 years later..
    Nothing has changed 10 years later..
  • Latvians are helpless against Russian Empire people, they are taking back Riga since 1991.
    Latvians are helpless against Russian Empire people, they are taking back Riga since 1991.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]
  • Apparently disabled persons do not have this problem.
    Apparently disabled persons do not have this problem.
  • Looks like police is disabled, too.
    Looks like police is disabled, too.
  • Latvia still uses woman powered ploughs.
    Latvia still uses woman powered ploughs.
  • The leader
    The leader
  • Political affairs
    Political affairs
  • The man
    The man
  • Typical woman driver in Latvia
    Typical woman driver in Latvia
  • Shittiest Latvian Internet Provider. Ironically, Latvians have the 3rd fastest download speed.
    Shittiest Latvian Internet Provider. Ironically, Latvians have the 3rd fastest download speed.

External links


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See Also For drama in your neck of the world, please consult the Encyclopdedia Dramatica Lulz Map. Also see: ED:Map
Featured article September 30, 2005
Preceded by
Ohnotheydidnt 		Latvia Succeeded by
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