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{{needsnomore|art of Dragoneer}}
[[File:DragoneersBrain.jpg|thumb|center|Let this set the precedent for the entire article.]]
[[File:DragoneersBrain.jpg|thumb|center|Let this set the precedent for the entire article.]]
[[Image:Sean_Piche.jpg|thumb|320px|NEW JERSEY (AP) — Engineers with Halliburton Corp. (NYSE: EVIL) have announced the formation of an exploratory well on the forehead of Sean Piche. One engineer was quoted as saying that a conservative estimate of the well's potential could be up to 100 million barrels of light fat-fuck crude. If this turns out to be the case, it could power the Internet for a couple of hours.]]
[[Image:Sean_Piche.jpg|thumb|320px|NEW JERSEY (AP) — Engineers with Halliburton Corp. (NYSE: EVIL) have announced the formation of an exploratory well on the forehead of Sean Piche. One engineer was quoted as saying that a conservative estimate of the well's potential could be up to 100 million barrels of light fat-fuck crude. If this turns out to be the case, it could power the Internet for a couple of hours.]]
[[File:Seanpichedilbert.png|thumb|Sean Piche is one of the main characters in [[Dilbert]].]]
[[File:Seanpichedilbert.png|thumb|Sean Piche is one of the main characters in [[Dilbert]].]]
'''Dragoneer''' (a.k.a. '''The Dragoneer''', '''[[Fag]]oneer''', '''Preyfar''', '''Inkjammer''',  '''[[powerword|Sean Piche]]''', or lately '''Princess Piche'''), born March 25, 1983, is a balding, morbidly obese 37 year old [[manchild]] [[lolcow]] who is the current owner and director of [[Furaffinity|FurAffinity.net]]. Dragoneer, as the CEO of furry, is stupid in ways that make typical bouts of furry drama look tame by comparison. He fucks up in ways that are inconceivable to anyone outside of the furry community, and end up being completely disastrous for anyone caught in them. Furthermore, his overarching laziness and sloth, inability to learn from his mistakes or even be honest has caused his online presence to be trailed by a conga line of goofs, gaffes, and controversies that will follow and haunt him (and anyone who associates with him) until the end of time.  
'''Dragoneer''' (a.k.a. '''The Dragoneer''', '''[[Fag]]oneer''', '''Preyfar''', '''Inkjammer''',  '''[[powerword|Sean Piche]]''', or lately '''Princess Piche''') is a balding, morbidly obese {{age|1983|3|25}} year old [[manchild]] who is the current owner and director of [[Furaffinity|FurAffinity.net]]. Dragoneer, as the CEO of furry, is stupid in ways that make typical bouts of furry drama look tame by comparison, by fucking up in ways that are inconceivable to anyone outside of the furry community, and result in being completely disastrous for anyone caught in them. Furthermore, his overarching laziness and sloth, inability to learn from his mistakes or even be honest has caused his online presence to be trailed by a conga line of goofs, gaffes, and controversies that will follow and haunt him (and anyone he associates with) until the end of time.
 
He is also a closet [[Babyfur]], and at one point his character and the character of his then-boyfriend appeared on the back cover of [[Softpaw Magazine]] as [[Pedobear|children in tight underwear]] and also in a unfinished comic (available in the gallery below). Of course, this minor fact is a constant source of hilarity for [[lulz]] connoisseurs and is a shameful past that Sean tries to hide at all costs. We still know he's beating it to cub, he's just so much of a phenomenal coward about it that he won't allow anyone on his platform to beat off on it too.


Dragoneer’s fursona is based on a [[fanfiction|unique breed]] of [[Digimon]] called a Murasadramon, which is essentially some mutant hybrid of Guilmon and Exveemon combined into one abortion of an [[original character]]. Wikifur sources mention that a Murasadramon uses plasma and electrical-based attacks, but an [[EDiot]] research team was able to conclude the following [[fact|facts]] about this rare variety after many decades of [[autism|intense study]]. This species of Digimon can distract [[you|casual observers]] from it’s lack of a [[fat|proper diet]] and aversion to basic hygiene. It prefers the damp and dark microcosms of their parents basements where they dwell in solitude for several years, subsisting on a diet of Cheetos, Hot Pockets and Gatorade. They continue to live like this until they reach the late middle age state and move out to a single bedroom studio apartment. They often [[Anthrocon|migrate]] in large flocks to stand around in ceremonial displays of dominance where their collective body odour could suffocate an entire hotel lobby. A lot of the adult life of a Murasadramon involved being a massive fucking [[whore]], [[dicks everywhere]] doesn't  even come close to describing how much porn there is of these creatures, there's almost as much porn of this one species of digimon as there is of [[Renamon]]... well alright not '''that''' much.
Dragoneer’s fursona is based on a [[fanfiction|unique breed]] of [[Digimon]] called a Murasadramon, which is essentially some mutant hybrid of Guilmon and Exveemon combined into one abortion of an [[original character]]. Wikifur sources mention that a Murasadramon uses plasma and electrical-based attacks, but an [[EDiot]] research team was able to conclude the following [[fact|facts]] about this rare variety after many decades of [[autism|intense study]]. This species of Digimon can distract [[you|casual observers]] from it’s lack of a [[fat|proper diet]] and aversion to basic hygiene. It prefers the damp and dark microcosms of their parents basements where they dwell in solitude for several years, subsisting on a diet of Cheetos, Hot Pockets and Gatorade. They continue to live like this until they reach the late middle age state and move out to a single bedroom studio apartment. They often [[Anthrocon|migrate]] in large flocks to stand around in ceremonial displays of dominance where their collective body odour could suffocate an entire hotel lobby. A lot of the adult life of a Murasadramon involved being a massive fucking [[whore]], [[dicks everywhere]] doesn't  even come close to describing how much porn there is of these creatures, there's almost as much porn of this one species of digimon as there is of [[Renamon]]... well alright not '''that''' much.


You want more information? [[RTFM|Read a fucking book]], just so you don't turn into this greasy, pious [[faggot|megafaggot]].
You want more information? [[RTFM|Read a fucking book]], just so you don't turn into this greasy, pious [[faggot|megafaggot]].
He is also a closet [[Babyfur]], and at one point his character and the character of his then-boyfriend appeared on the back cover of [[Softpaw Magazine]] as [[Pedobear|children in tight underwear]] and also in a unfinished comic (available in the gallery below). Of course, this minor fact is a constant source of hilarity for [[lulz]] connoisseurs and is a shameful past that Sean tries to hide at all costs. We still know he's beating it to cub, he's just so much of a phenomenal coward about it that he won't allow anyone on his platform to beat off on it too.
He currently resides in [[yuppies|Northern Virginia]] in the Washington, D.C. area with other [[furries]].


==Personal Life==
==Personal Life==
[[File:Dragoneerfat.jpg|thumb|left|If chairs could talk, this one would be begging for the sweet release of death just to escape being so close to this fat fuck's sweaty asshole.]]
[[File:Dragoneerfat.jpg|thumb|left|If chairs could talk, this one would be begging for the sweet release of death just to escape being so close to this fat fuck's sweaty asshole.]]
[[File:Preyfar_ac99.jpg|thumb|right|He wasn't always so fat and bald ([[Anthrocon]] 1999)]]
[[File:Preyfar_ac99.jpg|thumb|right|He wasn't always so fat and bald ([[Anthrocon]] 1999)]]
Dragoneer is one of [[whore|those people]] that always somehow manages to have the latest fancy gadget to hit the market. He owns a [http://twitpic.com/2d4d06 Alienware desktop computer, a HDTV, a fursuit], [http://twitpic.com/cs6ef at least one] [http://twitpic.com/2gcekq custom built computer], a [http://twitpic.com/2fwrox Droid cell phone], iPhones that he can make into [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3973132/ iPhone sandwiches] and probably much, much more. Don't forget he's [[always]] commissioning some [[Offended|great new pieces of art]] of his [[original character]]!
What could be said about Sean that isn't apparent from just looking at him? Just by looking at the pictures you've already seen so far, you should know everything you need to know about him. He's a sweaty, greasy lump of lard cosplaying as a handsome and buff bootleg of a [[pokemon]], he's as [[tryhard]] as you can get. And much like many other furries like him, he has just as many people that dislike him, and he's no stranger to expressing his distaste for people reacting to his brand of cancer. He manages to own the latest fancy gadget to hit the market despite having no trouble getting an obscene 'mukbang' sized amount of food for lunch every day, and it totally has nothing to do with using company funds (read: donations) to purchase these things. These include [http://twitpic.com/2d4d06 an Alienware desktop computer, a HDTV, a fursuit], [http://twitpic.com/cs6ef at least one] [http://twitpic.com/2gcekq custom built computer], an [http://twitpic.com/2fwrox Android cell phone], iPhones that he can make into sandwiches and probably much, much more. Don't forget he's [[always]] commissioning some [[Offended|great new pieces of art]] of his [[original character]]!


He's also an [[alcoholic]] and likes to [[File:Sean_Piche_And_Alcohool.png|talk about his experience with other furries about being drunk]], which happens often because he is [[Dying alone|alone]]. He was warned several times at [[Anthrocon]] 2010 for inviting a couple of [[jailbait|17/18 year old furries]] ([http://www.furaffinity.net/user/xanthosking xanthosking] and [http://www.furaffinity.net/user/zharr18 zharr18]) to have a drink [[rape|in his hotel room]], which is illegal. But, they were [[canada|Canadians]], where the legal drinking age is 18. So it's [[awwright]]!
He's also an [[alcoholic]] and likes to [[File:Sean_Piche_And_Alcohool.png|talk about his experience with other furries about being drunk]], which happens often because he's [[Dying alone|a sad and lonely man]]. He loves drinking so much that he also loves making drunken advances on minors, to the point where he was warned several times at [[Anthrocon]] 2010 for inviting a couple of [[jailbait|17/18 year old furries]] ([http://www.furaffinity.net/user/xanthosking xanthosking] and [http://www.furaffinity.net/user/zharr18 zharr18]) to have a drink [[rape|in his hotel room]], which is illegal. But, they were [[canada|Canadians]], where the legal drinking age is 18. So it's [[awwright]]!


Dragoneer is also a supporter of ''Making The Fandom Look Good™''. He was quick to proclaim a FA user named Dogbomb [[An hero|a hero]] after [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4296204 sat in fursuit with a kid] suffering from Cerebral Palsy, saying how it improved the fandom's image while he was simultaneously drawing and commissioning furry porn. Yes Dogbomb, you're literally god's gift to the earth for sitting with a cripple, you win a years supply of [[viagra]] and a [[golden shower]] so sayeth Princess Piche. Clearly Sean doesn't think running the largest furry porn [[cumdumpster|repository]] on the internet is contributing to the [[Yiff|problem]].
Dragoneer is also a supporter of ''Making The Fandom Look Good™''. He was quick to proclaim a FA user named Dogbomb [[An hero|a hero]] after [http://www.furaffinity.net/view/4296204 he sat in fursuit with a disabled kid] suffering from Cerebral Palsy, saying how it improved the fandom's image while he was simultaneously drawing and commissioning furry porn. Yes Dogbomb, you're literally god's gift to the earth for sitting with a cripple, you win a years supply of [[viagra]] and a [[golden shower]] so sayeth Princess Piche. Clearly Sean doesn't think running the largest furry porn [[cumdumpster|repository]] on the internet is contributing to the [[Yiff|problem]].


[[File:Dragoneer noanonallowed.png|thumb|Coming to all good ED articles near you]]
[[File:Dragoneer noanonallowed.png|thumb|Coming to all good ED articles near you]]
His most notable method of gaining popularity is also known as "playing the [[cool guy]]" (read: INSATIABLE [[memefag|MEMEFAG]]), which consists of posting a link to the most popular [[YouTube]] video of the moment, filling his posts and tweets with [[memes]] (while not knowing what they mean), countless attempts at [[chanspeak]] and countless references to [[TF2]], [[Portal]], and [[b/|/b/]]. This is especially true when he uses FA's mascot account Fender to make updates, which usually consist of pure [[Anti-lulz]] (take this for example). This is especially true when he uses FA's mascot account  [http://www.furaffinity.net/user/fender/ Fender] to make updates, which usually consist of pure Anti-lulz (take this for example). Dragoneer will constantly claim to be open-minded about Internet culture, but if you tell him you're an [[anon]], a [[goon]], and/or post on [[ED]] (or merely have references to those on your profile), you'll almost certainly receive his banhammer since anonymous is always conspiring against him or some shit. Because being cool is a privilege only Dragoneer and his crew have. This can all be accurately described as FA being an echochamber of fat smelly retards sitting around all day sniffing their farts totally convinced they are [[hubris|the wittiest, smartest, most intelligent furries the world has ever seen.]]
His most notable method of gaining popularity is also known as "playing the [[cool guy]]" (read: INSATIABLE [[memefag|MEMEFAG]]), which consists of posting a link to the most popular [[YouTube]] video of the moment, filling his posts and tweets with [[memes]] (while not knowing what they mean), countless attempts at [[chanspeak]] and countless references to [[TF2]], [[Portal]], and [[b/|/b/]]. This is especially true when he uses FA's mascot account Fender to make updates, which usually consist of pure [[Anti-lulz]] (take [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1569773/ this] for example). Dragoneer will claim to be open-minded about Internet culture, but if you tell him you're an [[anon]], a [[goon]], and/or post on [[ED]] (or merely have references to those on your profile), you'll almost certainly receive his banhammer since anonymous is always conspiring against him, and being cool is a privilege only Dragoneer and his crew have.


===Career===
===Career===
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[[Image:Sean Piche at Camp Chaos.jpg|thumb|Group photo taken at Camp Chaos in Reading, PA in early 2004. Sean Piche only survived there for 4 months before being kicked to the curb.]]
[[Image:Sean Piche at Camp Chaos.jpg|thumb|Group photo taken at Camp Chaos in Reading, PA in early 2004. Sean Piche only survived there for 4 months before being kicked to the curb.]]


Dragoneer has had quite an [[boring|exciting]] career as far as furfag losers go. He's [[failed|worked]] as an animator for VH1/Viacom and even worked in the [[Terrorist|middle east]]. This is proof that America spends so much money on its military that even someone like Dragoneer can get a piece of the action.
Dragoneer has had quite an [[boring|exciting]] career as far as furfag losers go. He's [[failed|worked]] as an animator for VH1/Viacom and even worked in the [[Terrorist|middle east]]. This is proof that America spends so much money on its military budget that even someone like Dragoneer can get a piece of the action.


====As an animator====
====As an animator====
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====Army career====
====Army career====
Apparently, someone at the DoD decided it was a good move to give Sekrit clearance to him so he could develop computer systems in [[Kyrgyzstan]]. He may tell you he was sent to Manas Air Base to handle top secret data, but all he really was was a glorified [[Script_Kiddie|MSCE]], hooking up computers to ethernet cables and reinstalling Windows XP on the base's Dell Optiplex machines. (Nothing that could land on WikiLeaks.) However, having "IT technician for the DOD" gave him some seizures of power, even if said computers were used like cybercafes: to allow soldiers to communicate with their families and look at porn. This is more evidence of the [[Furluminati]] in action.
Apparently, someone at the DoD decided it was a good move to give Sekrit clearance to him so he could develop computer systems in [[Kyrgyzstan]]. He may tell you he was sent to Manas Air Base to handle top secret data, but all he really was was a glorified [[Skript kiddie|MSCE]], hooking up computers to ethernet cables and reinstalling Windows XP on the base's Dell Optiplex machines. (Nothing that could land on WikiLeaks.) However, having "IT technician for the DOD" gave him some seizures of power, even if said computers were used like cybercafes: to allow soldiers to communicate with their families and look at porn. This is more evidence of the [[Furluminati]] in action.


Fortunately, he was never given the opportunity to ever deal with anything classified there, so America remained safe from this buffoon at least. Again, he was sent back in the country circa 2008 for [[fat|medical reasons]], [[lazy|being unproductive]] (since he had to "manage" FurAffinity), and perhaps because he was too dumb to stay in service anyways.
Fortunately, he was never given the opportunity to ever deal with anything classified there, so America remained safe from this buffoon at least. Again, he was sent back in the country circa 2008 for [[fat|medical reasons]], [[lazy|being unproductive]] (since he had to "manage" FurAffinity), and perhaps because he was too dumb to stay in service anyways.


====A trailer park boy goes to the big city====
====A trailer park boy goes to the big city====
[[At least 100 years ago]], Dragoneer lived in [[Philadelphia]], and ended up being hated by all the furries there. To this day he hates Giza and [[Uncle Kage]] because of what happened there. [[Some argue|One side]] of the story is that he was a borderline-crazy dumbass who appeared to have genuine psychological problems and thus people began avoiding him. Of course, his paranoia about this didn't really help things either. Dragoneer, being still obsessed with events almost a decade old, recently revealed more when responding to the latest surfacing of the [[facts]] surrounding [[Jibba Foxcoon]] (namely, that [[2 gryphon]] is an [[asshole]], but I repeat myself):
[[At least 100 years ago]], Dragoneer lived in [[Philadelphia]] and ended up being hated by all the furries there, and he still holds a grudge with Giza and [[Uncle Kage]] because of what happened there. [[Some argue|One side]] of the story is that he was a borderline-crazy dumbass who appeared to have genuine psychological problems and thus people began avoiding him, but his paranoia about this didn't really help things either. Others claim it was because Kage kept upstanging Dragoneer at [[Anthrocon]] (the convention he runs), and he started Furaffinity: United to spite him there too. One particularly hilarious episode manifested in 2003, when Dragoneer heard of a gathering from the PA furries in a bookstore and Olive Garden within walking distance of his house. Instead of doing the sensible thing and inviting himself along to this very public open-invite event (because heaven forbid it might involve taking a shower, walking half a block and socialising like a normal human being), he spent the afternoon spitefully blogging about it on [[LiveJournal]]. Even after he was told that this was a public event and he simply overlooked the invite, he still whined and complained like a baby about how mean the PA furry community was.
 
{{tinyquote|I just wanted to take a moment and thank each and every one of you who ventured out to fine Chestnut Street out here in Philadelphia to see They Might Be Giant playing at the Barnes and Nobles right across from my house. To eat at the Olive Garden right next to where I live. And, especially more than that, to not invite me, and to make sure nobody knew I didn't live there until after your party left the area.
 
There's a special, warm place in my heart for those who go out of their way to ignore me, and prevent me from joining in anything that happens in the community. It's moments like these that truly bring a smile to my face, and let me know how valuable my friendship is to group as a whole!
 
I shall be sure to never participate in any event ever held in this state, because I understand how much you all truly love having me along. And, were it not for kind, thankful soul who was with you who let me know just how much I TRULY meant to all of you, I'd have never have been able to feel the affectionate display of generosity shown towards yours truly.|Preyfar|Sat Nov 15 14:42:02 EST 2003}}
 
Dragoneer, being still obsessed with events almost a decade old, recently revealed more when responding to certain [[facts]] regarding [[Jibba Foxcoon]] (namely, that [[2 gryphon]] is an [[asshole]]):


{{tinyquote|Giza was angry at me because I called him out for cheating on Phil da Feline. Way back when, Giza and Phil da Feline were dating. Phil walked in on Giza sucking another guy's dick, they got into huge drama, fights ensued. A while later, they got back together... and at MFF, same shit happened together. One day Phil came over to my place, crying, claiming Giza tried to take advantage of him... and I went ballistic. I started openly called Giza out via my LiveJournal for cheating on Phil, lying and being a general douchebag. I wasn't very mature about it, but given what happened... I didn't really care. We had a huge drama war, and Giza eventually went to Kage to ask Kage to "fix" his problem. Namely, get rid of me So Kage did. Kage defended Giza (and blindly at that), refused to even hear my side of the story, and Kage kept saying if he wanted to cheat on Phil then that was Giza's right. And he defended that. I called shenanigans, but Kage had already made up his mind before he even spoke to me. Because I stood up to Kage, I got "promoted" from convention operations to "sales guy" for the artist's alley. So I left. Basically, they knew I'd do that... and I have no regrets about it. I wasn't thrown off AC (and I have several FA staffers who will back me up on this), but if they want to look at that way then I guess by demoting me they kinda did. In the end, Kage defended Giza's right to cheat on Phil, and I left Anthrocon and ended up going to Fur Affinity. Giza still takes pot-shots at me every once and a while. He does not seem to have the ability to let bygones be bygones. Some of my friends on Anthrocon's staff send me logs and shit when he goes berserk over it. I posted a journal two years later saying I wasn't going to Anthrocon, I was bailing on the con... and Kage took that as me outright attacking on AC. For... some reason. Thing was: I was at risk of losing my apartment due to financial problems at the time (animators didn't get paid a lot) and couldn't afford the con. I put life ahead of furry. The last thing Kage ever said to me was "Welcome to my shitlist, asshole." Why? Because in that same journal some people called Anthrocon "Kagecon" in my LiveJournal. And he detonated on me. This had nothing to do with Growly at all. Kage hasn't spoken to me since 2005. Even when we had stood in line next to each other for an hour to go to MFF in 2006, he wouldn't speak to me. Or even acknowledge I was there. It was cute.}}
{{tinyquote|Giza was angry at me because I called him out for cheating on Phil da Feline. Way back when, Giza and Phil da Feline were dating. Phil walked in on Giza sucking another guy's dick, they got into huge drama, fights ensued. A while later, they got back together... and at MFF, same shit happened together. One day Phil came over to my place, crying, claiming Giza tried to take advantage of him... and I went ballistic. I started openly called Giza out via my LiveJournal for cheating on Phil, lying and being a general douchebag. I wasn't very mature about it, but given what happened... I didn't really care. We had a huge drama war, and Giza eventually went to Kage to ask Kage to "fix" his problem. Namely, get rid of me So Kage did. Kage defended Giza (and blindly at that), refused to even hear my side of the story, and Kage kept saying if he wanted to cheat on Phil then that was Giza's right. And he defended that. I called shenanigans, but Kage had already made up his mind before he even spoke to me. Because I stood up to Kage, I got "promoted" from convention operations to "sales guy" for the artist's alley. So I left. Basically, they knew I'd do that... and I have no regrets about it. I wasn't thrown off AC (and I have several FA staffers who will back me up on this), but if they want to look at that way then I guess by demoting me they kinda did. In the end, Kage defended Giza's right to cheat on Phil, and I left Anthrocon and ended up going to Fur Affinity. Giza still takes pot-shots at me every once and a while. He does not seem to have the ability to let bygones be bygones. Some of my friends on Anthrocon's staff send me logs and shit when he goes berserk over it. I posted a journal two years later saying I wasn't going to Anthrocon, I was bailing on the con... and Kage took that as me outright attacking on AC. For... some reason. Thing was: I was at risk of losing my apartment due to financial problems at the time (animators didn't get paid a lot) and couldn't afford the con. I put life ahead of furry. The last thing Kage ever said to me was "Welcome to my shitlist, asshole." Why? Because in that same journal some people called Anthrocon "Kagecon" in my LiveJournal. And he detonated on me. This had nothing to do with Growly at all. Kage hasn't spoken to me since 2005. Even when we had stood in line next to each other for an hour to go to MFF in 2006, he wouldn't speak to me. Or even acknowledge I was there. It was cute.}}
There are more choice events just like this on the KiwiFarms thread (linked below), but all you need to know from this is a lot of Dragoneer's business politics revolve around [[jealousy]] of already shitty things other people have done, only more inferior.


====IMVU====
====IMVU====
[[File:1275946582.dragoneer_idoubledown.jpg|thumb|Imagine being so fat, lazy and having so much [[unlimited disposable income]] that you use two 4th gen iPhones instead of slices of bread]]
Sean was employed by [[IMVU]] to run [[FurAffinity]] full time, a job he did [https://forums.vivisector.org/index.php?topic=708.0 extremely poorly] despite it being his dream job and what he's wanted since taking ownership of the site. Previously, he worked for [[Amazon]] and as a government contractor in the [[IT]] field. No one is sure what his specific job was, because he [[CIA|encourages bullshit rumors to obscure more accurate rumors]]. However, fortunately for us some people watch his [[Twitter]], where he's [[retarded|not particularly guarded]] about all the [[TF2|stuff]] he does at work on the [[you|taxpayer's]] dime. It would seem that his job consists of him [http://twitpic.com/28xvb7 re-arranging his desk], [http://twitpic.com/1hkj54 playing video games], [http://twitter.com/Dragoneer/status/20130771963 chatting on YIM] and managing Blackberry service plans. Sometimes he has to do [http://twitter.com/Dragoneer/status/12599983586 actual work] and he whines about it. Your tax dollars at work!
Sean was employed by [[IMVU]] to run [[FurAffinity]] full time, a job he did [https://forums.vivisector.org/index.php?topic=708.0 extremely poorly] despite it being his dream job and what he's wanted since taking ownership of the site. Previously, he worked for [[Amazon]] and as a government contractor in the [[IT]] field. No one is sure what his specific job was, because he [[CIA|encourages bullshit rumors to obscure more accurate rumors]]. However, fortunately for us some people watch his [[Twitter]], where he's [[retarded|not particularly guarded]] about all the [[TF2|stuff]] he does at work on the [[you|taxpayer's]] dime. It would seem that his job consists of him [http://twitpic.com/28xvb7 re-arranging his desk], [http://twitpic.com/1hkj54 playing video games], [http://twitter.com/Dragoneer/status/20130771963 chatting on YIM] and managing Blackberry service plans. Sometimes he has to do [http://twitter.com/Dragoneer/status/12599983586 actual work] and he whines about it. Your tax dollars at work!


He was also responsible for managing Furaffinity's [[Jew Gold]] that comes in from donations and ad revenue, until [[IMVU]] took a look at him and realized they didn't want him touching their money. When he WAS in charge of finances, Furaffinity was always low on funds and every time a server slows down or breaks due to poor coding, [[moar]] money was needed to fix the problem. Where did all that money go? Remember the iPhone Sandwich earlier? [[Theft|yeahhhhhh...]]
He was also responsible for managing Furaffinity's [[Jew Gold]] that comes in from donations and ad revenue, until [[IMVU]] took a look at him and realized they didn't want him touching their money. When he WAS in charge of finances, Furaffinity was always low on funds and every time a server slows down or breaks due to poor coding, [[moar]] money was needed to fix the problem. Where did all that money go? Remember the iPhone Sandwich earlier? Well, let's just say he was more than a little proud of [[theft|misapropiating funds]]:
 
{{quote|Ladies and gentlemen, behold! MY GREATEST CREATION YET! The Apple iDoubledown! It's a $1,200 sandwich crafted by the Gods themselves!|Dragoneer, in a gallery post from 2010}}


If you post a journal and question where all the money went, you'd get a private message from Dragoneer (which are not private by the way, since [[FurAffinity]] staff are able check notes for 'security reasons'). He will politely ask you to remove the journal entry, or he will have no choice but to ban you. If you keep questioning where the money goes, you will get permanently banned. See [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1580816/ this journal] as an example on what not to do.
If you post a journal and question where all the money went, you'd get a private message from Dragoneer (which are not private by the way, since [[FurAffinity]] staff are able check notes for 'security reasons'). He will politely ask you to remove the journal entry, or he will have no choice but to ban you. If you keep questioning where the money goes, you will get permanently banned. See [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1580816/ this journal] as an example on what not to do.


Judging by his [[Furaffinity|track record]] at running servers, there's probably a reason he's not doing more at work. Would [[you]] let him work on servers, especially with potentially classified information on them? Yeah, we wouldn't trust him to run a bath, let alone what he's doing these days.
Despite his track record at running servers (terrible), responding to trouble tickets (thousands outstanding), handling company funds (see more about that below), they still managed to somehow off profit off of FA through branding alone. There are dozens of other furry gallery websites that have arguably better functionality, including [[e621]] which supports .webm files. However FA's userbase lingered because they were too clueless to care about all the shit going on behind the scenes. Don't worry, after you read everything on this article you wouldn't trust him to run a bath, let alone an entire company.
{{clear}}
{{clear}}


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*Spending $150 on a power cable, because spending an [[Over_9000|over 9000 percent]] markup on a cable is a sensible thing to do.
*Spending $150 on a power cable, because spending an [[Over_9000|over 9000 percent]] markup on a cable is a sensible thing to do.
*Handling [[DMCA]] complaints like a child. He will ban you for sending one in before posting it on his [[Twitter]] and will publicly mock you because you asked him to do [[work]]. If this happens to [[you]], a [[Allan|proven alternative]] is to send the DMCA to their [http://inforelay.com/ Datacenter/ISP] [[spam|multiple times]], who will eventually [http://twitter.com/Dragoneer/statuses/26508573833 tell him] to stop being infantile and remove the content.
*Handling [[DMCA]] complaints like a child. He will ban you for sending one in before posting it on his [[Twitter]] and will publicly mock you because you asked him to do [[work]]. If this happens to [[you]], a [[Allan|proven alternative]] is to send the DMCA to their [http://inforelay.com/ Datacenter/ISP] [[spam|multiple times]], who will eventually [http://twitter.com/Dragoneer/statuses/26508573833 tell him] to stop being infantile and remove the content.
   
   
If you're an [[furry art|artist]] and upload furry porn, you will have around 20 or 30,000 pageviews, if not more. In fact, you might even multiply it by 10, as [[FurAffinity]] only counts registered members' views only. This has always been the strategy of FurAffinity's staff, as admitted by [http://www.furaffinity.net/user/lexyeevee/ Eevee], a site coder on [[Furnet]]'s #FurAffinity-Dev chatroom years ago. (Eevee was banned in mid-October for exploiting a huge security hole in FA's new "comment hiding" option - being able to "hide" comments even if you weren't the owner of the journal/submission. Eevee is definitely [[an hero]] for finding this out. Details of the exploits can be found [http://eevee.livejournal.com/329409.html here] and [http://eevee.livejournal.com/329817.html here]).
If you're an [[furry art|artist]] and upload furry porn, you will have around 20 or 30,000 pageviews, if not more. In fact, you might even multiply it by 10, as [[FurAffinity]] only counts registered members' views only. This has always been the strategy of FurAffinity's staff, as admitted by [http://www.furaffinity.net/user/lexyeevee/ Eevee], a site coder on [[Furnet]]'s #FurAffinity-Dev chatroom years ago. (Eevee was banned in mid-October for exploiting a huge security hole in FA's new "comment hiding" option - being able to "hide" comments even if you weren't the owner of the journal/submission. Eevee is definitely [[an hero]] for finding this out. Details of the exploits can be found [http://eevee.livejournal.com/329409.html here] and [http://eevee.livejournal.com/329817.html here]).
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===Well obviously we have a rapist in Furaffinity===
===Well obviously we have a rapist in Furaffinity===
Zaush "the furry rapist song"
"He's all up in your fandom, snatching your artists up, tryin' to rape 'em
So y'all need to hide yo mates, hide yo cubs hide yo mates, hide yo cubs, 'cause he's rapin everybody out here
You don't have to come and confess, we know it was you. We saw the notes. So you can run and tweet that, run and tweet that, run and tweet that, homeboy, home home homeboy.
We got yo chat logs and all them notes, you are so dumb, you are really dumb, for real.
You are really really really really so dumb. I was attacked by some creeper in the fandom.
So dumb, so dumb, so dumb so
He's all up in your fandom, snatching your artists up, tryin' to rape 'em
So y'all need to hide yo mates, hide yo cubs hide yo mates, hide yo cubs, 'cause he's rapin everybody out here
You don't have to come and confess, we know it was you. We saw the notes. So you can run and tweet that, run and tweet that, run and tweet that, homeboy, home home homeboy.
He's a popular artist, draws lots of porn, likes sizeplay, and was a swinger.
And I seen the notes when he was rapin her, and that's not all that he did.
He's all up in your fandom, snatching your artists up, tryin' to rape 'em
So y'all need to hide yo mates, hide yo cubs hide yo mates, hide yo cubs, 'cause he's rapin everybody out here
You don't have to come and confess, we know it was you. We saw the notes. So you can run and tweet that, run and tweet that, run and tweet that, homeboy, home home homeboy.
Well, obviously we have a rapist in the furry fandom. Are you serious? I have your chat logs, I have the notes, I know what you said, even though you hid, we all found out.
He's all up in your fandom, snatching your artists up, tryin' to rape 'em
So y'all need to hide yo mates, hide yo cubs hide yo mates, hide yo cubs, 'cause he's rapin everybody out here
You don't have to come and confess, we know it was you. We saw the notes. So you can run and tweet that, run and tweet that, run and tweet that, homeboy, home home homeboy."
[[File:Zaushsohorny.jpg|thumb|right|Run and tweet that, homeboy, home home homeboy~]]
[[File:Zaushsohorny.jpg|thumb|right|Run and tweet that, homeboy, home home homeboy~]]
A "popufur" furry named Zaush right in king fur's(dragoneer) convention raped a girl at a furcon.  But rather than turn in Zaush to the cops, cause the guy constantly had money being flung at him for commissions, he told the girl who got raped to try and like it.
A "popufur" furry named Zaush right in king fur's(dragoneer) convention raped a girl at a furcon.  But rather than turn in Zaush to the cops, cause the guy constantly had money being flung at him for commissions, he told the girl who got raped to try and like it.
Well the victims brother didn't give a shit about "protecting the image of furry", rather than let 'neer get away with helping a rapist, he bashed right through Fa's security, with not even so much of a challenge.  The brother then proceeded to wreak havoc on furaffinity.  Hacking all the mods and admins, trying to get as much information to put Zaush and Dragoneer behind bars.  He took screenshots of extremely damning stuff that the Admins had said and spread it all about.
Well the victims brother didn't give a shit about "protecting the image of furry", rather than let 'neer get away with helping a rapist, he bashed right through Fa's security, with not even so much of a challenge.  The brother then proceeded to wreak havoc on furaffinity.  Hacking all the mods and admins, trying to get as much information to put Zaush and Dragoneer behind bars.  He took screenshots of extremely damning stuff that the Admins had said and spread it all about.
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This happened 2 months after he had set up another [http://www.gofundme.com/7paw6o GoFundMe drive] just so [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6048518/ he could buy himself] a new Cintiq tablet. More coincidental timing, right? The selfish goal of $2,500 was reached by 17 [[Furfags|people]] in 7 months, including $200 from his dumb fiance [[FurAffinity#Sciggles|Sciggles]].
This happened 2 months after he had set up another [http://www.gofundme.com/7paw6o GoFundMe drive] just so [http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6048518/ he could buy himself] a new Cintiq tablet. More coincidental timing, right? The selfish goal of $2,500 was reached by 17 [[Furfags|people]] in 7 months, including $200 from his dumb fiance [[FurAffinity#Sciggles|Sciggles]].


===Programmer Is Denied Payment and IMVU Intervenes===
===Programmer Is Denied Payment and IMVU Intervenes===
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</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:I Believe In Sean Piche.jpg|thumb|Quick, Chase! To the Fatcave!
Image:I Believe In Sean Piche.jpg|thumb|Quick, Chase! To the Fatcave!
Image:1275282975.dragoneer_neersuit.png|What a [[fag|rebel]]!
Image:1275282975.dragoneer_neersuit.jpg|What he looks like wearing a partial fursuit. Note his pasty muffin top
Image:1274390669.dragoneer_fau3_badges.jpg|Note: the background of this picture is a wallpaper by [[http://ker-.deviantart.com/art/Mario-World-HD-19771526 some vector artist]] used by Dragoneer without permission for [[advertising]] his furry convention, FA:United. [[Lawsuit]]?
Image:1274390669.dragoneer_fau3_badges.jpg|Note: the background of this picture is a wallpaper by [[http://ker-.deviantart.com/art/Mario-World-HD-19771526 some vector artist]] used by Dragoneer without permission for [[advertising]] his furry convention, FA:United. [[Lawsuit]]?
image:Jarate.png | Use as a Team Fortress 2 spray. He plays on the Furry Pound servers.
image:Jarate.png | Use as a Team Fortress 2 spray. He plays on the Furry Pound servers.
Image:Neerallan.jpg|Dragoneer killing [[Allan]]. Inspired [[patachu|some artist]] to draw the exact opposite. He got permanently banned for this.
Image:Neerallan.jpg|Dragoneer killing [[Allan]]. Inspired [[patachu|some artist]] to draw the exact opposite.
Image:1277587477.kayanamasha_0fb2d10089a63561ca5af26c6c139160.jpg|<span style="color:#ff0000; font-weight:bold;">(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)</span>
Image:1279445288.dragoneer_dgr-aquilus_sketch_.jpg|Cocks, cocks, and more cocks. Dragoneer's entire gallery is about the same thing: gay dinosaur porn.
Image:1279445288.dragoneer_dgr-aquilus_sketch_.jpg|Cocks, cocks, and more cocks. Dragoneer's entire gallery is about the same thing: gay dinosaur porn.
Image:Dragoneer_01.jpg|Dragoneer designed his own [[dildo]]. He loves himself so much, he dreams about getting anally raped by his own fursona.
Image:Dragoneer_01.jpg|Dragoneer designed his own [[dildo]]. He loves himself so much, he dreams about getting anally raped by his own fursona.
Line 270: Line 260:
Image:sp4back.jpg|Here's the back cover of Softpaw 4, featuring Preyfar and Crome.
Image:sp4back.jpg|Here's the back cover of Softpaw 4, featuring Preyfar and Crome.
Image:Dragoneerassgas.jpg|[[Wut]]
Image:Dragoneerassgas.jpg|[[Wut]]
Image:smelly dumb dragoneer scum.jpg
Image:smelly dumb dragoneer scum.jpg|[[Nigger|Smelly dumb dragoneer scum]]
File:dragoneer_lunch.png|Dragoneer preparing a completely normal lunch at FA:U
File:dragoneer_lunch.png|Dragoneer preparing a completely normal lunch at FA:U
Image:Sean_Piche_And_Alcohool.png|Geez, this guy needs a life.
Image:Sean_Piche_And_Alcohool.png|Geez, this guy needs a life.
Line 276: Line 266:
File:Ferrox LLC.png|Pennsylvania Department of Revenue registration for Ferrox LLC.
File:Ferrox LLC.png|Pennsylvania Department of Revenue registration for Ferrox LLC.
File:Dragoneer debt.png|Oy Vey! The goyim know!
File:Dragoneer debt.png|Oy Vey! The goyim know!
File:patachu_probes.png|This is fine
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}


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==External links==
==External links==
*{{kf|34077|Dragoneer / Preyfar / firepyro / Sean Piche / Spottybitch / Princess Piche - FurAffinity's incompetent, lazy, dogfucker-defending, scam artist leader who got cucked by a brony}}
*[http://faleaks.malicelabs.com/from/Ferality/ Dragoneer telling a rape victim from his site to STFU because he doesn't want to lose all the traffic. Greed much?]
*[http://faleaks.malicelabs.com/from/Ferality/ Dragoneer telling a rape victim from his site to STFU because he doesn't want to lose all the traffic. Greed much?]
*http://e621.net/post/show/51542/
*http://e621.net/post/show/51542/
*http://fagoneer.tk
*[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/dragoneer-preyfar-firepyro-sean-piche-spottybitch-princess-piche.34077/ Forum about Dragoneer]


{{Furfaggotry}}
{{Furfaggotry}}

Latest revision as of 02:17, 17 February 2023

Let this set the precedent for the entire article.
NEW JERSEY (AP) — Engineers with Halliburton Corp. (NYSE: EVIL) have announced the formation of an exploratory well on the forehead of Sean Piche. One engineer was quoted as saying that a conservative estimate of the well's potential could be up to 100 million barrels of light fat-fuck crude. If this turns out to be the case, it could power the Internet for a couple of hours.
Sean Piche is one of the main characters in Dilbert.

Dragoneer (a.k.a. The Dragoneer, Fagoneer, Preyfar, Inkjammer, Sean Piche, or lately Princess Piche) is a balding, morbidly obese 41 year old manchild who is the current owner and director of FurAffinity.net. Dragoneer, as the CEO of furry, is stupid in ways that make typical bouts of furry drama look tame by comparison, by fucking up in ways that are inconceivable to anyone outside of the furry community, and result in being completely disastrous for anyone caught in them. Furthermore, his overarching laziness and sloth, inability to learn from his mistakes or even be honest has caused his online presence to be trailed by a conga line of goofs, gaffes, and controversies that will follow and haunt him (and anyone he associates with) until the end of time.

He is also a closet Babyfur, and at one point his character and the character of his then-boyfriend appeared on the back cover of Softpaw Magazine as children in tight underwear and also in a unfinished comic (available in the gallery below). Of course, this minor fact is a constant source of hilarity for lulz connoisseurs and is a shameful past that Sean tries to hide at all costs. We still know he's beating it to cub, he's just so much of a phenomenal coward about it that he won't allow anyone on his platform to beat off on it too.

Dragoneer’s fursona is based on a unique breed of Digimon called a Murasadramon, which is essentially some mutant hybrid of Guilmon and Exveemon combined into one abortion of an original character. Wikifur sources mention that a Murasadramon uses plasma and electrical-based attacks, but an EDiot research team was able to conclude the following facts about this rare variety after many decades of intense study. This species of Digimon can distract casual observers from it’s lack of a proper diet and aversion to basic hygiene. It prefers the damp and dark microcosms of their parents basements where they dwell in solitude for several years, subsisting on a diet of Cheetos, Hot Pockets and Gatorade. They continue to live like this until they reach the late middle age state and move out to a single bedroom studio apartment. They often migrate in large flocks to stand around in ceremonial displays of dominance where their collective body odour could suffocate an entire hotel lobby. A lot of the adult life of a Murasadramon involved being a massive fucking whore, dicks everywhere doesn't even come close to describing how much porn there is of these creatures, there's almost as much porn of this one species of digimon as there is of Renamon... well alright not that much.

You want more information? Read a fucking book, just so you don't turn into this greasy, pious megafaggot.

Personal Life

If chairs could talk, this one would be begging for the sweet release of death just to escape being so close to this fat fuck's sweaty asshole.
He wasn't always so fat and bald (Anthrocon 1999)

What could be said about Sean that isn't apparent from just looking at him? Just by looking at the pictures you've already seen so far, you should know everything you need to know about him. He's a sweaty, greasy lump of lard cosplaying as a handsome and buff bootleg of a pokemon, he's as tryhard as you can get. And much like many other furries like him, he has just as many people that dislike him, and he's no stranger to expressing his distaste for people reacting to his brand of cancer. He manages to own the latest fancy gadget to hit the market despite having no trouble getting an obscene 'mukbang' sized amount of food for lunch every day, and it totally has nothing to do with using company funds (read: donations) to purchase these things. These include an Alienware desktop computer, a HDTV, a fursuit, at least one custom built computer, an Android cell phone, iPhones that he can make into sandwiches and probably much, much more. Don't forget he's always commissioning some great new pieces of art of his original character!

He's also an alcoholic and likes to talk about his experience with other furries about being drunk, which happens often because he's a sad and lonely man. He loves drinking so much that he also loves making drunken advances on minors, to the point where he was warned several times at Anthrocon 2010 for inviting a couple of 17/18 year old furries (xanthosking and zharr18) to have a drink in his hotel room, which is illegal. But, they were Canadians, where the legal drinking age is 18. So it's awwright!

Dragoneer is also a supporter of Making The Fandom Look Good™. He was quick to proclaim a FA user named Dogbomb a hero after he sat in fursuit with a disabled kid suffering from Cerebral Palsy, saying how it improved the fandom's image while he was simultaneously drawing and commissioning furry porn. Yes Dogbomb, you're literally god's gift to the earth for sitting with a cripple, you win a years supply of viagra and a golden shower so sayeth Princess Piche. Clearly Sean doesn't think running the largest furry porn repository on the internet is contributing to the problem.

Coming to all good ED articles near you

His most notable method of gaining popularity is also known as "playing the cool guy" (read: INSATIABLE MEMEFAG), which consists of posting a link to the most popular YouTube video of the moment, filling his posts and tweets with memes (while not knowing what they mean), countless attempts at chanspeak and countless references to TF2, Portal, and /b/. This is especially true when he uses FA's mascot account Fender to make updates, which usually consist of pure Anti-lulz (take this for example). Dragoneer will claim to be open-minded about Internet culture, but if you tell him you're an anon, a goon, and/or post on ED (or merely have references to those on your profile), you'll almost certainly receive his banhammer since anonymous is always conspiring against him, and being cool is a privilege only Dragoneer and his crew have.

Career

Sean Piche's resume from LinkedIn. All the periods of unemployment show how successful he really is at his career.
File:Sean Piche at Camp Chaos.jpg
Group photo taken at Camp Chaos in Reading, PA in early 2004. Sean Piche only survived there for 4 months before being kicked to the curb.

Dragoneer has had quite an exciting career as far as furfag losers go. He's worked as an animator for VH1/Viacom and even worked in the middle east. This is proof that America spends so much money on its military budget that even someone like Dragoneer can get a piece of the action.

As an animator

Sean once worked for a couple of weeks in an animation department, where he composed the background of a few scenes for "ILL-ustrated", and did the text formatting for the credits page. His job was to be involved with a little cartoon on VH1, circa 2003. Sean didn't stay because he wanted to take the place of the character designer and become an animator, even though he had no artistic background or knowledge to perform this kind of task. His contract with VH1 was terminated prematurely, and it remains the best work he has ever had to this day.

Army career

Apparently, someone at the DoD decided it was a good move to give Sekrit clearance to him so he could develop computer systems in Kyrgyzstan. He may tell you he was sent to Manas Air Base to handle top secret data, but all he really was was a glorified MSCE, hooking up computers to ethernet cables and reinstalling Windows XP on the base's Dell Optiplex machines. (Nothing that could land on WikiLeaks.) However, having "IT technician for the DOD" gave him some seizures of power, even if said computers were used like cybercafes: to allow soldiers to communicate with their families and look at porn. This is more evidence of the Furluminati in action.

Fortunately, he was never given the opportunity to ever deal with anything classified there, so America remained safe from this buffoon at least. Again, he was sent back in the country circa 2008 for medical reasons, being unproductive (since he had to "manage" FurAffinity), and perhaps because he was too dumb to stay in service anyways.

A trailer park boy goes to the big city

At least 100 years ago, Dragoneer lived in Philadelphia and ended up being hated by all the furries there, and he still holds a grudge with Giza and Uncle Kage because of what happened there. One side of the story is that he was a borderline-crazy dumbass who appeared to have genuine psychological problems and thus people began avoiding him, but his paranoia about this didn't really help things either. Others claim it was because Kage kept upstanging Dragoneer at Anthrocon (the convention he runs), and he started Furaffinity: United to spite him there too. One particularly hilarious episode manifested in 2003, when Dragoneer heard of a gathering from the PA furries in a bookstore and Olive Garden within walking distance of his house. Instead of doing the sensible thing and inviting himself along to this very public open-invite event (because heaven forbid it might involve taking a shower, walking half a block and socialising like a normal human being), he spent the afternoon spitefully blogging about it on LiveJournal. Even after he was told that this was a public event and he simply overlooked the invite, he still whined and complained like a baby about how mean the PA furry community was.


 
 
I just wanted to take a moment and thank each and every one of you who ventured out to fine Chestnut Street out here in Philadelphia to see They Might Be Giant playing at the Barnes and Nobles right across from my house. To eat at the Olive Garden right next to where I live. And, especially more than that, to not invite me, and to make sure nobody knew I didn't live there until after your party left the area.

There's a special, warm place in my heart for those who go out of their way to ignore me, and prevent me from joining in anything that happens in the community. It's moments like these that truly bring a smile to my face, and let me know how valuable my friendship is to group as a whole!

I shall be sure to never participate in any event ever held in this state, because I understand how much you all truly love having me along. And, were it not for kind, thankful soul who was with you who let me know just how much I TRULY meant to all of you, I'd have never have been able to feel the affectionate display of generosity shown towards yours truly.
 


 

—Preyfar, Sat Nov 15 14:42:02 EST 2003


Dragoneer, being still obsessed with events almost a decade old, recently revealed more when responding to certain facts regarding Jibba Foxcoon (namely, that 2 gryphon is an asshole):


 
 
Giza was angry at me because I called him out for cheating on Phil da Feline. Way back when, Giza and Phil da Feline were dating. Phil walked in on Giza sucking another guy's dick, they got into huge drama, fights ensued. A while later, they got back together... and at MFF, same shit happened together. One day Phil came over to my place, crying, claiming Giza tried to take advantage of him... and I went ballistic. I started openly called Giza out via my LiveJournal for cheating on Phil, lying and being a general douchebag. I wasn't very mature about it, but given what happened... I didn't really care. We had a huge drama war, and Giza eventually went to Kage to ask Kage to "fix" his problem. Namely, get rid of me So Kage did. Kage defended Giza (and blindly at that), refused to even hear my side of the story, and Kage kept saying if he wanted to cheat on Phil then that was Giza's right. And he defended that. I called shenanigans, but Kage had already made up his mind before he even spoke to me. Because I stood up to Kage, I got "promoted" from convention operations to "sales guy" for the artist's alley. So I left. Basically, they knew I'd do that... and I have no regrets about it. I wasn't thrown off AC (and I have several FA staffers who will back me up on this), but if they want to look at that way then I guess by demoting me they kinda did. In the end, Kage defended Giza's right to cheat on Phil, and I left Anthrocon and ended up going to Fur Affinity. Giza still takes pot-shots at me every once and a while. He does not seem to have the ability to let bygones be bygones. Some of my friends on Anthrocon's staff send me logs and shit when he goes berserk over it. I posted a journal two years later saying I wasn't going to Anthrocon, I was bailing on the con... and Kage took that as me outright attacking on AC. For... some reason. Thing was: I was at risk of losing my apartment due to financial problems at the time (animators didn't get paid a lot) and couldn't afford the con. I put life ahead of furry. The last thing Kage ever said to me was "Welcome to my shitlist, asshole." Why? Because in that same journal some people called Anthrocon "Kagecon" in my LiveJournal. And he detonated on me. This had nothing to do with Growly at all. Kage hasn't spoken to me since 2005. Even when we had stood in line next to each other for an hour to go to MFF in 2006, he wouldn't speak to me. Or even acknowledge I was there. It was cute.
 

 


There are more choice events just like this on the KiwiFarms thread (linked below), but all you need to know from this is a lot of Dragoneer's business politics revolve around jealousy of already shitty things other people have done, only more inferior.

IMVU

Imagine being so fat, lazy and having so much unlimited disposable income that you use two 4th gen iPhones instead of slices of bread

Sean was employed by IMVU to run FurAffinity full time, a job he did extremely poorly despite it being his dream job and what he's wanted since taking ownership of the site. Previously, he worked for Amazon and as a government contractor in the IT field. No one is sure what his specific job was, because he encourages bullshit rumors to obscure more accurate rumors. However, fortunately for us some people watch his Twitter, where he's not particularly guarded about all the stuff he does at work on the taxpayer's dime. It would seem that his job consists of him re-arranging his desk, playing video games, chatting on YIM and managing Blackberry service plans. Sometimes he has to do actual work and he whines about it. Your tax dollars at work!

He was also responsible for managing Furaffinity's Jew Gold that comes in from donations and ad revenue, until IMVU took a look at him and realized they didn't want him touching their money. When he WAS in charge of finances, Furaffinity was always low on funds and every time a server slows down or breaks due to poor coding, moar money was needed to fix the problem. Where did all that money go? Remember the iPhone Sandwich earlier? Well, let's just say he was more than a little proud of misapropiating funds:

   
 
Ladies and gentlemen, behold! MY GREATEST CREATION YET! The Apple iDoubledown! It's a $1,200 sandwich crafted by the Gods themselves!
 

 
 

—Dragoneer, in a gallery post from 2010

If you post a journal and question where all the money went, you'd get a private message from Dragoneer (which are not private by the way, since FurAffinity staff are able check notes for 'security reasons'). He will politely ask you to remove the journal entry, or he will have no choice but to ban you. If you keep questioning where the money goes, you will get permanently banned. See this journal as an example on what not to do.

Despite his track record at running servers (terrible), responding to trouble tickets (thousands outstanding), handling company funds (see more about that below), they still managed to somehow off profit off of FA through branding alone. There are dozens of other furry gallery websites that have arguably better functionality, including e621 which supports .webm files. However FA's userbase lingered because they were too clueless to care about all the shit going on behind the scenes. Don't worry, after you read everything on this article you wouldn't trust him to run a bath, let alone an entire company.

Owner of Furaffinity

$150 on a power cable? FA's donations hard at work.
How unexpected of someone to accept free ad-space on a very well known site for fetishists.

Premier Dragoneer of the Furfag Communist Party is the supremely completely competent head Administrator of FurAffinity.net, a job he cherishes. Arcturus, the prior owner, assigned him to this position because he assumed Sean would be a useful idiot like everyone else. Dragoneer eventually gathered enough drugs or money or whatever he needed to buy Arcturus out, and sat upon the shit throne that was FA. He may be quick to tell you how difficult his "work" is, but don't be fooled - the only real difficulty he has is banning anyone who speaks out against him, dealing with (or starting) controversy, and trying to hide his obvious gunshyness for babyfurs! Since he's too indolent to do any real work himself, he assembled a top-notch team of staff to do stuff for him... badly.

Actually, to give him credit he DOES do something that could be very loosely construed as work. Things like:


If you're an artist and upload furry porn, you will have around 20 or 30,000 pageviews, if not more. In fact, you might even multiply it by 10, as FurAffinity only counts registered members' views only. This has always been the strategy of FurAffinity's staff, as admitted by Eevee, a site coder on Furnet's #FurAffinity-Dev chatroom years ago. (Eevee was banned in mid-October for exploiting a huge security hole in FA's new "comment hiding" option - being able to "hide" comments even if you weren't the owner of the journal/submission. Eevee is definitely an hero for finding this out. Details of the exploits can be found here and here).

By this efficient philosophy, "devaluing" the site's audience on purpose justifies the donations, and, as always, all the gullible members believe this.

File:Furry Numbers.jpg
Commissions!

Sean Piche & The furry drama scene

In spite of his preaching of 'making the furry scene look good', the most hypocritical and infuriating aspects of Dragoneer is that he actively engages in the furry drama scene, a mecca of wit and one-upmanship. You can bet that if there's a post about Dragoneer, FurAffinity, or one of his other passions, he'll show up and probably make a fool of himself. It is then up to you (or the moderators) to either mercy ban him or use his low-wattage intellect for amusement. For example; he's still obsessed with the Philadelphia furry community and the Anthrocon crew, but nearly every single one of them thought he was too ignorant, noisy, and annoying to be around, even for a furry degenerate. People that deal with Uncle Kage on a regular basis basically informed him that he talked too much and that he should never be on staff again, kthx. As a result they started avoiding him, something that even he was able to notice, as can be evidenced in this poor attempt at subtle sarcasm on the PA furry mailing list. He moved out of that area in the early 2000s but still harbors a grudge against them to this day, as evidenced in the ongoing feud between Uncle Kage's Macrophile Denial-fest and Sean's vanity con he purchased with that sweet, sweet gummint-contractor money.

It is all well and good if Sean or one of his many fanboys badmouth Kage or spread unverifiable innuendo, but if you do the same about FA and/or Dragoneer himself Sean will revert to making bad jokes and pretending to take it all with good humor (and not being very convincing) until he thinks he can vent with some privacy, at which point you have earned yourself an enemy for life.

In the spirit of starting drama, here's some things he doesn't want you to bring up:

ZOMG HE HAS A BROTHER

It seems Sean's brother, name currently unknown, was let out of its cage Christmas Eve, to celebrate with the rest of the Piches. Its level of intelligence, looks, and behavior comes to the light as the creature immediately began to chew on the couch and shit on the floor. Sean has never spoken of this failed abortion, most likely because even he is ashamed of this disgrace to humanity. What Dragoneer doesn't realize is that Encyclopedia Dramatica is an archive of failures on the internet, and when he finds out that his deformed blob of a brother has been found out and archived into the history of drama, rest assure he will deny his brother as much as the holocaust.

Sciggles

Sciggles poses next to a decapitated Dragoneer.
Look at Dragoneer. Not only being dominated, but also being a BITCH-ASS ANAL VORING FURFAG!! And why isn't she makin' him a sammich?

Sciggles (a.k.a. Susan Scoggins) is was Dragoneer's Wife, until she left him in early 2016 for a Brony who was actually better looking than him>. She is several years younger than Dragoneer, and was young enough when they met that she couldn't legally consume his favorite alcoholic drinks, butthat didn't stop him from giving them to her anyways, backing up beliefs that he likes 'em young. Sciggles is was Dragoneer's biggest only fan and even made a Dragoneer hat and plushie and wore them to Anthrocon 2010. Did we mention she was with another guy at the time?

It is rumored Sciggles is doing it for the lulz, ultimately with the goal of marrying Dragoneer before filing for divorce and taking half of his precious belongings or waiting for the inevitable heart attack from consuming so many energy drinks and reaping the reward: the world's largest furporn collection. If she's not, well, we feel sorry for the kids that will one day inevitably stumble upon Dragoneer's anal vore porn collection (you think that's a joke, don't you?) Besides, everyone knows that Dragoneer will never have kids because that means he'd have to stop buying over 9000 iPhones a month and buying, well, anal vore porn sketches from high-priced artists.

During the Closing Ceremonies of FurAffinity United 2011, Dragoneer showed he was truly a classy gentleman and proposed to Sciggles in a room full of random furfags, in an scene worthy of a banned horror film.

In early 2016, Sciggles began drawing a bunch of art for a guy called Fireenvy who is the worst combination of both Brony and Furfag. Dragoneer, too stupid to realize he was being cucked, was perfectly okay with her drawing obvious romantic art with this guy and considered him a friend. He eventually figured it out, but tried to cover it up, thinking nobody would notice she was practically hanging off another guy.

Dox

In December 2010 Dragoneer got another new cellphone and proceeded to use Twitter on it, neglecting to turn off the Geolocation feature causing him to dox himself. Lulz.net got ahold of this information and caused Dragoneer to bawwww about it on Livejournal, claiming that people hate him just because he's an admin.

He lives here moved here and works here.

Progression in Allegory

File:Dragoneer is Homer Simpson.png
He doesn't die, he just slows down until he reaches absolute zero and encompasses all the matter in the universe
That isn't apple juice in the jug.

You are Manipulated

Here's one of the multiple attempts from Dragoneer at sockpuppeting, but resulting into an epic failure.
Here's one of the multiple attempts from Dragoneer at sockpuppeting, but resulting into an epic failure.

If you upload anything containing a dragon, a penis, and/or any male Digimon (preferably Murasadramon, as that is Dragoneer's fursona) on FurAffinity, you will definitely be watched by Dragoneer himself. Great! You two are best friends now! You wouldn't grieve against a friend, would you? Dragoneer will love your art, even if your gallery hasn't received a single visit in weeks. If you're really good, there's a chance that he'll request you to draw something involving his character he will +fav, or even commission you, or better yet, make you an admin!

Samefaggotry is also a common technique used, even abused by Dragoneer on FurAffinity. Sometimes, he logs on as Sciggles to backup his arguments, and even often another unknown random account that nobody knows. However, he often tends to fail hard using this technique, which requires to log out and log in as your sockpuppet account.

His DeviantART has also been used to reinforce his arguments in favor of himself, claiming that he is awesome and a legit administrator. Unfortunately, everyone saw him coming a mile away due to his response time. Thanks to DeviantART (and certain administrators who are aware of Dragoneer's actions there), you can easily hide or delete these comments.

I am banned. What do I do?

File:AllanNeerOMG.jpg
Give Dragoneer a special favor and he'll unban you!
In art form.

"One shalt drink the semen of the Dragoneer to be forgiven for their acts and get unbanned."

This is the secret! The Dragoneer may ask you to:

  • Draw his request, or ask you to commission one of his favorite artists to draw his character fucking yours.
  • Donate at least $50 ($100 or more if you're permabanned) to retrieve access to your gallery.
  • Never question his strategy, actions, or anything his staff does, especially Pinkuh.

In addition, you may be required to watch him in return and to write a journal, apologizing for being a troll (or an undisciplined puppy) and state that you will quit grieving and obey the rules forever.

If you are an artist or just a user who draws porn, you have to additionally leave the other sites you post at, post exclusively on FurAffinity, and keep a low profile. This literally means offering your ass to Dragoneer, because he owns the Internet's most popular furry website, if not the fandom.

It actually worked for Wildwulf, aka Brandon Vongthongthrip, a notorious zoophile previously banned to avoid FurAffinity's bad reputation. FurAffinity didn't want to be shown as a harvest for zoophiles. However, he and FurAffinity remain one.

Dragoneer versus Other Sites

Dragoneer is a pretty cool guy, but when you know him more personally then it becomes interesting. Here's a sample of a conversation from the week following e621.net's takedown by InsaneKangaroo, and some WYS goons - a group of pro-FA furry whiteknights showing their support to Dragoneer.

This Anon knows Dragoneer for about two years, and confirms Dragoneer's opinions and ambitions toward rival, yet better websites, instead of improving his own.


[-+]Chat Transcript

<Dragoneer[AFK]> As an admin I'm obliged to condone IK's actions<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> but personally I understand his motivations and respect that.<br>
<Anon> i see. thought you had something against him..<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> He's a friend of mine<br>

<Dragoneer[AFK]> I, and many others respect his idea to fight illegal content<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> that's what communities are made for. Working together<br>
<Anon> Others like the WYS crew?<br>
<Anon> I'd join these guys<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> You welcome!<br>

<Dragoneer[AFK]> Arcturus never was a good admin and never did anything good. Ever.<br>
<Anon> So you prefer to see e621 under the control of a dildo factory?<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> What's wrong with that? :)<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> more seriously nobody needs e621. This site always encouraged illegal activities, Every FA artist complains about it.<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> No age check, incompetent staff.<br>
<Anon> heh yeah. when flaming your mods they could get a fucking mirror.<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> :D<br>

<Dragoneer[AFK]> Arc asked for it, good riddance<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> we'll have to watch the "new version" anyway.<br>
<Anon> goverments changes, lies remains.<br>

<Dragoneer[AFK]> like ten low ranking artists posting their own shit on e621.<br>
<Anon> Allan reposted his whole gallery too :B<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> my bad.. 9<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> 99% of the submissions are posted without Artist's consent.<br>

<Anon> it just remains an alt. for when FA crashes.<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> Nah<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> some can't just wait a few hours without having their dose of furry porn.<br>

<Dragoneer[AFK]> [[lolwut|No one wants an alternative to FA]]. No one needs it, requires personnel and a competent staff.<br>
<Anon> Pedobunny?<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> ...to be closed soon<br>
<Anon> oh i see :3<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> also, FA's registration is back, guess this answers your question :)<br>

<Dragoneer[AFK]> I'm a WYS member, so what?<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> I have the right to be on any community I want, say whatever I want outside FA.<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> TBH I could have reported e621's illegal content myself and it would make no difference.<br>
<Anon> yep you're a citizen like evrybody<br>
<Dragoneer[AFK]> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPC-isxrhTs<br>

Tl;dr, Fagoneer thinks FA should be the only furry site ever and that he is a total Nazi. What is new?

Well obviously we have a rapist in Furaffinity

Run and tweet that, homeboy, home home homeboy~

A "popufur" furry named Zaush right in king fur's(dragoneer) convention raped a girl at a furcon. But rather than turn in Zaush to the cops, cause the guy constantly had money being flung at him for commissions, he told the girl who got raped to try and like it. Well the victims brother didn't give a shit about "protecting the image of furry", rather than let 'neer get away with helping a rapist, he bashed right through Fa's security, with not even so much of a challenge. The brother then proceeded to wreak havoc on furaffinity. Hacking all the mods and admins, trying to get as much information to put Zaush and Dragoneer behind bars. He took screenshots of extremely damning stuff that the Admins had said and spread it all about. {please post the screenshots by the hacker to get Dragoneer behind bars}

DDoS attack and GoFundMe scam

"Whoops I accidentally all your money for personal debt"
Down, down it goes.

During October 2014, a massive DDOS attack struck the world of furry art, taking FurAffinity and SoFurry completely off the internet for a few days, and temporarily knocking other anthro porn sites such as Inkbunny and Weasyl offline. Dragoneer was named prime suspect after it was revealed that a fundraiser which had been set up after the attack to protect against future attacks had in fact been created hours *before* the actual attack. He responds by claiming it was coincidental shitty timing 3 times in a single post.

GoFundMe pulled the plug on the fundraiser and suspended his account after evidence that it was a scam was brought to light (as if supporting cartoon animal pornography wasn't a good enough reason to start), but later reinstated his account so he could still collect the money and user names of everyone he managed to scam.

This happened 2 months after he had set up another GoFundMe drive just so he could buy himself a new Cintiq tablet. More coincidental timing, right? The selfish goal of $2,500 was reached by 17 people in 7 months, including $200 from his dumb fiance Sciggles.

Programmer Is Denied Payment and IMVU Intervenes

It recently got exposed that a programmer that's been working with Dragoneer's seed-stained wall of a site since October of 2015, and it further got released in a recent discussion video said programmer posted (which is viewable here), that he found out he's essentially been working for free and Dragoneer and staff registered his work contract to IMVU. Thankfully, IMVU actually decided to be badass and swiftly kicked the living shit out of Dragoneer for refusing to pay his coder his past dues. Now, we're gonna cease even getting into how much of a worthless lump of cunt juice Sean Bitche is. Since it's been obvious since the first sentence of this article that Dragoneer doesn't give a fuck about anything aside from consuming mass amounts of food to keep his "Hershey Kiss" body shape that he's accustomed to. The heart of the matter here is despite a community fully comprised of closeted homosexuals that barely missed the hook of the wire hanger, it's pretty shitty to deny a programmer his payments when he's been helping to work on your website full-time for months on end without any compensation whatsoever. If this doesn't tell you this community is becoming corrupted by its own fatass cocksuckers, I don't know what does.

The point of this story is Dragoneer is conducting illegal behavior by denying his own "employees" payments. So suffice to say, Dragoneer deserves to have some form of legal litigation put against him. Especially since said programmer was determined to help initiate new code to replace the shitty fucking toddler level code that the site has been using that's on the level of an old HTML site from the late 90s. But it turns out these cuntpastes don't take too kindly to positive change with their code. Codes that's by the way, that's so out of date it might as well be dressed with powdered wigs. We can only hope something develops further out of this situation, mostly because it'd be funny to see Dragoneer turn up the waterworks over any form of legal action against him so he can go into a food eating depression and kill himself from cholesterol poisoning.

We can only hope.

But alas, it turns out that the payment that IMVU forced out of Dragoneer has been fully processed, and there is no longer a call for legal action. I guess that means we can leave Dragoneer alone on this matter.

Sorry, that was a shitty joke. We're still more than obligated to shit all over his fat ham-glazed face.

Gallery of Horrors

Dragoneer can draw, too! Actually, all he can draw is gay Digimon porn, but occasionally he requests himself raping people he hates or have banned.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Butt Devastated

Dragoneer's journal on the subject.

Perhaps as divine karma for letting Allan back on FurAffinity, Dragoneer lost about 75% of his "valuable" collectibles and memorabilia.

All together now: And nothing of value was lost.

Trivia

If anyone else did this, they'd meet the banhammer.
  • Dragoneer is a secret babyfur. This is why cub art is still allowed on FurAffinity, regardless of it being shit. He even told the UK users to GTFO when their lolicon ban came in.
  • His best friend is a sex offending pedophile who got banned from FurAffinity, but still gets to see kids in real life.
  • Every administrator he has ever hired has been a pedophile/zoophile/anal retentive Nazi bastard, most notably the notorious dogfucker known as Chase.
  • His nephew date-raped a girl, went on a crime spree, then got busted trying to steal some of Dragoneer's shit at his mother's house.
  • If Dragoneer posts something on his blog, everyone must agree with it. ALWAYS.
  • FA isn't his website. He stole it in 2006 when he was just a lead moderator. He claimed that he invested over $2,000 in donations to become "legit". Having all the moderators on your site sure helps!
  • It is a known fact that Dragoneer relaxes the rules to his favorite artists. For example, in April 2010 Adam Wan DELETED FUCKING EVERYTHING from his gallery and replaced each submission with a black square. Even though that's in direct violation of multiple portions of the AUP, Dragoneer said nothing and refused to do anything about it.
  • Dragoneer raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.
  • Former president of the United States Barack Obama follows Dragoneer on Twitter, for some reason.
   
 
“Because they're mass hacking accounts, using phishing techniques and other shitty script-level methods to hijack people's shit (mostly due to people's own stupidity) and he's doing it in your name.”
 

 
 

— –Dragoneer, raging over raeped users

   
 
"I don't want to rotate banners, as that's very bandwidth heavy and would be a little counter-productive. I'm not AGAINST it, but I don't want to."
 

 
 

— -Administrating a website doesn't require work.

   
 
“You had severe resentment towards us over it, but you've always been civil to me... so I dunno”
 

 
 

— - A very confused Neer

   
 
"I generally never go to ED. "Facts" are sometimes optional there."
 

 
 

— -Dragoneer

   
 
"Dragoneer is a thief. What right does he have to harass Allan for swindling donation money when he's doing the same thing and far worse? The site's layout is using something that would be fine 10 years ago but many sites have better, the servers are junk, the staff are all pedos. He hires friends and incompetents to mod the site while openly allowing popular people and friends to break rules and do what the fuck they want.

Fursuits, iPhones used as bread, commissions, name it, he's not spending money on the site. If he were, the site would be better."
 


 
 

— -Anonymous

   
 
"When I met Dragoneer at AC, it was really disturbing, for, he had no other subjects than his characters and who drew them. I really had a weird feeling, like having a 12yo in front of me into his Digimon games... Sean (Dragoneer) is devoid of maturity. Just like a kid in middle school who bullies others around, he tries to be a smartass toward those who are around him, including; and especially artists. look; here's V**** this guy sucks, he thinks he's better than N**** but he's just a ripoff. Meeting Sean like this really made me feel bad for frequenting such retards."
 

 
 

— -An anonymous artist

   
 
"Furaffinity is free, unlike Deviantart who charges you to access certain content, options and discussion boards, that's the reason why I decided to create Furaffinity. Freedom and respect versus profit altough we are not a paysite, hosting Furaffinity requires a budget so we let the freedom to the users to donate, and these users are granted of my respect and my interest."
 

 
 

— -Dragoneer, being hypocrite

   
 
"No, Deviantart is the wrong site to go if you want to get a name in this community, that's the reason why I created [Furaffinity] Y'know, the photoshop artists like Axer, Vaporotem or Barachan may be blindfolded by the pageviews they make here, but they only support an egoistical administration that doesn't give a fuck or know shit about the furry culture, and the few members like Skifi, who actually play a role of mediator here; are even more retarded for not seeing the truth."
 

 
 

— -Dragoneer, publicly admitting he hate Deviantart on IRC

   
 
"Why do you want an alternative to Furaffinity? We're here for good."
 

 
 

— -Dragoneer

Contact

See Also

External links

BigMeatHuggins22/Dragoneer is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

BigMeatHuggins22/Dragoneer is part of a series on

Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

BigMeatHuggins22/Dragoneer is part of a series on Dying Alone

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