MuZemike

	“	16:59:01 <MuZemike> Whatever. Congratulations, GNAA. You won.	„

"I'll show you my wiki-gnome little boy ;)"

MuZemike (powerword Michael Pruden) is a Wikipedia administrator from DeKalb, Illinois, known for his tendency to be an "abusive admin" when need be, as well as being overweight from hours upon hours of snack-foods paired with TOW editing. He is widely known for blocking any and all accounts he doesn't feel are "fit to edit", which includes EDiots, Gayniggers, as well as his fellow Autists.

Abusive status

16:50:43 < MuZemike> And you can quit gloating right now.
16:51:17 < LiteralKa> I'm not gloating.
16:54:38 < MuZemike> Look, you little shit. I'm not the one dancing up and down because my pet article was finally kept.
16:55:22 < LiteralKa> Not acting very admin-like, are we?
16:55:39 < MuZemike> You expect everyone else to quietly take it up the ass while you scream like a little girl when things don't go your way?
16:56:00 < LiteralKa> I expect admins to refrain from doing so themselves.
16:56:27 < MuZemike> If you want me to be an "abusive admin", I'll block you on-wiki right now.
16:59:01 < MuZemike> Whatever. Congratulations, GNAA. You won.
16:59:05 <<< emopart/#wikipedia-en (MuZemike!~MuZemike@wikimedia/MuZemike) ()

MuZemike was later encouraged by the Wikipedia community to "take a break".

Weight issues

MuZemike is very self-conscious regarding the issues with his figure. Because of his own bloated gut, he attempts to lure children onto football fields so that they will be as fit as possible when he molests them as any decent Wikipedian would.

	“	MuZemike believes, through his love of web design and sports, that young people can help grow and become responsible and active members of a democratic society as a whole, committed to various fields of social progress.	„
	—MuZemike, an old revision of his user page

	“	In his free time, MuZemike works with various amateur sports such as wrestling, athletics (track and field), and volleyball as either an official or as a coach.	„
	—MuZemike, trying to get "closer" to the kids

Gay Pedophilia?

Day in the life

We totally swear we didn't write this -- it was the work of some poor schmuck that Mike banned improperly.

A Day in the Life of MuZemike

The power suddenly came back on. The electrical bill must have kicked in. The clock flashed, blinking 12:00; MuZemike was too damn lazy to set it properly. He was a broken man and he knew it, from the Wikipe-tan cut-out taped onto a pillow to the numerous images of his fellow Wikipedian Fluffernutter scattered about the apartment, stained with his man-juices, and reeking of that all-too-familiar musky smell. Nothing but the routine combination of shame and arousal was brought to mind. He was the shell of a man.

Times had been tough on MuZemike. Ever since the death of his mother, and his abandonment by his good-for-nothing father, he was left to fend for himself in the world: microwaving his own Totino's® Party Pizza® rolls, and when he was too busy blocking sockpuppeteers from Wikipedia to pick up his welfare check, Hot Pockets®. And even scraping the bloated rat corpses out of the closet when the stench became unbearable, or worse, when the neighbors began to complain.

While giving his eyes a much needed rest and rub from 32 straight hours of staring at a computer screen in his dimly-lit chamber. MuZemike nodded approvingly at the large poster depicting Jimbo Wales above his monitor. He saluted the poster before emerging from his folding chair.

MuZemike reminisced on the misspent his days of his youth, his family living welfare check to welfare check, and sleeping in a single room, the warmth of his overweight mother coming down on his own body as the two rested through the night. It was that he knew he needed; That he had longed for all these years, these long lonely years. The calming, unfamiliar feeling of a woman’s touch. He needed it, and not knowing where to find such an abstract concept in his life, MuZemike crept out into the unfamiliar cold of the hallway.

There she stood in an obviously discount-store bought coat, playing with her boyish curls. She was alone, vulnerable, and most importantly, female: the only breed that could provide the warm comfort MuZemike so desperately needed. The kind that his late mother could no longer provide for him. She remained there by the vending machine, toying with what had to be her third Snickers® bar in a row. He approached with the utmost silence and care, not wanting to startle his newly found replacement for his late mother.

However, time remained to be of the essence, there were only so many bags of Funyuns® this beautiful, delicate creature could eat before her stubby arms could no longer reach the change dropped under the machine. With a final pulse, his cock stiffened to its full four-inch length. All four inches stood proudly at attention, at guard for the moment it was to come in contact with the flesh of this woman. His cloudy, watered eyes gazed lustfully at his captive. MuZemike thought of the horror that her ass would soon be forced to endure.

She screamed when he grabbed her. A hand placed to attempt to muffle the noise as much as possible slid over her mouth. The process soon became more difficult than expected, as the tasks of forcing her silence and lowering her sweat-pants were to be performed simultaneously if he was to reach the treasures within. Finally slipping her pants below her buttocks, and allowing his own to reveal his erection, MuZemike targeted for an opening, anywhere that would allow him to relieve years of repressed urges, urges of Man that God made his female counterpart to satisfy.

His gnarled, twisted member at last revealed its hideous shape. Black moles of varying size and height dotted his inch-wide shaft, but the glans was dotted with the oh-too-familiar herpes gifted to him by his dear mother. His entire organ was covered in the sugar-like coating of crusted semen, and the pungent odor that accompanied it began to fill the room. His spotted member pulsed with excitement, he was finally doing it! He was taking what was rightfully his in this world at long last!

At last he had reached her sacred anal entrance. Repeatedly pumping his body forward in a motion to force his genitals inside, MuZemike slowly intruded the woman. A glue of sorts soon aided his journey inside; he knew it was shit, and he didn’t care, he was too close to the inside to stop now.

Once his throbbing cock reached its final destination, MuZemike forced movement of himself in her bowels, slowly moving up and down over a think layer of feces residue. The outer walls of her anus only furthered his pleasure when they clenched down in rejection. She was weeping.

Suddenly, something blocked his hideous member’s path: a turd. Although a difficult task, MuZemike began to grind his sex-organ into the oncoming obstacle, slowly churning his rancid penis into its slimy, crusted tip. It only served to arouse him even further. As he pushed forward, the excrement began to squirm its way around his dick, latching onto the dry flesh, especially at the head of his penis where pre-ejaculate was beginning to seep out. He knew it would only be a matter of time until the deed was done.

Now being only slightly less-than-lubricated, MuZemike began pushing harder and faster into the woman’s intestines. He then reached a point at which he felt the world was compressed into all that was around him; all he could feel. His semen began to shoot from the shit-coated tip of his member, decorating the canals of his neighbor’s ass.

MuZemike violently ripped his still-erect cock from the inside of her anus, completely coated with feces and blood. As this is performed, the remainder of her shit began spewing out of her puckered hole with great haste, completely drenching MuZemike’s pants and legs.

No longer caring about the smell nor the torrent of liquid feces pouring out of her punished asshole, MuZemike began to spin her around to finish the deed: he fully intended on violating her vaginally as well.

When he saw the woman’s tear-covered chubby face, it hit him. This was no girl, this was Diego Grez, a fellow Wikipedian, who he had forced himself onto, as well as into.

“DIEGO?” MuZemike shrieked, “IS THAT YOU?” The rest of the tenants were now awake and completely alerted of the situation. Slowly emerging from their apartments, they were shocked to see two half-nude men, both covered in mounds of viscous feces and crusted ejaculate, on top of each other.

MuZemike’s life was over. His last action of the night was to hang his head in shame, away from those of his disgusted neighbors, and his newly minted rape victim. MuZemike then began to return to his lonely existence of self-loathing, isolation, and Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

The comeback that never came

In August 2021, he announced on his talk page that he would return to administratorship. As of 2023, we know he never went through with his plans.^[1]