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FanFiction
—Sandy Ryerson, Glee. | ||
Fan fiction (also spelled fanfiction or fagfiction and commonly abbreviated to fanfic or fic) is fiction written by people who enjoy a film, novel, television show, book, or other media work, using the characters and situations developed in it and raping them in every possible and impossible way up the ass (as a matter of historical interest, it should be noted that in the pre-1965 era, the term "fan fiction" was used in fandom to designate Science Fiction written by members of fandom (specifically that of Star Trek) and published in fanzines, as distinguished from fiction professionally published; this usage is now obsolete). The most common use of fanfiction is merely as an excuse for no-talent writers to live out their most erotic fantasies with their favourite fictional characters.
History
Some argue that Virgil's epic poem, The Aeneid, was the first work of fan fiction, based on Homer's Odyssey; in it, a Trojan named Aeneas leads a group of refugees after the fall of the city to find a new homeland, eventually founding Rome. Unlike all other fan fiction thereafter, it actually wasn't a complete pile of shit.
The world's second fanfic is also its most successful. Titled "The New Testament," the fan fiction takes the main character from one of literature's most successful works, the Bible, and sends him on new, semiretarded adventures concocted by the fans. The fanfic cemented a number of trends in fanfiction that to this day are still prevalent. It introduces a new main character who is basically the old main character only not. The new character is also the first example of a Gary Stu in fanfiction. Like most fanfiction writers, the authors weren't very creative, so they stole a lot of their story ideas from other, better stories. All in all, the fanfic was pretty shit, but it somehow managed to get published. Even though the Jew categorically denies that it is canon, a whole bunch of faggots have released new editions of the original book with the fanfic attached. The original publishers are, of course, not pleased, but this was all done in the days before copyright law (which they then invented to get revenge), so they can't do shit.
One of the more successful fanfics of more recent times is the Bible-based Book of Mormon, which is fanfiction based on fanfiction, and as you can imagine it would be, is total shit.
Fanfiction became popular through the 70's and 80's through zines. Usually writing about Duran Duran members fucking each other's brains out.
Fan fiction has come to the forefront especially since the rise of the Internets, where it flourishes despite the possibility that it infringes the copyright of the film, book, TV show, or other media on which it is based.
Fan fiction writers sometimes claim to be asexual. It was probably because they got OWNED in sex. i.e., The man came too early, thought it was bad, etc. Um, yeah.
The fact stands that they still masturbate to Cloud and Sephiroth fucking each other in the ass.
Note: Since its conception, some believe that Fanfiction has reached a status analogous to Rule 34, as in: If it exists, there is Fanficton of it. So far, Nobody has argued this belief to be anything but Fact.
TL;DNR Version: ITS ALL GAY!!!!!!!!!!
Types
Major genres of fanfic include those based on: J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series; Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series; J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings; God's autobiography The Bible; science fiction serials (both on television and in film) including Supernatural, X-Files, Buffy, Star Trek, and Gilmore Girls; other serial television (dramatic and even comedic) including Grey's Anatomy, Prison Break, Alias, and Scrubs; and American cartoon series such as Teen Titans, Ninja Turtles, Danny Phantom and Avatar the Last Airbender.
However, the vast majority of fanfiction is based loosely on anime. Even if the material which inspires the fanfic bears absolutely no resemblance to anime, fanfic writers will find some way to introduce anime influences.
A large subsection of fanfiction revolves around romantic and/or sexual relationships between characters, almost always outside the canon of the source material and often dealt with in explicit detail. Further, among relationship centered fan fiction, a large portion deals with same sex relationships, with male/male pairings being the most common; this is called slash or yaoi. Fanfiction revolving around pairings is often denoted by writing both names (or abbreviations of such) with a slash or a (usually lowercase) x, or by fusing the two names together. An example in the Harry Potter fandom would be Snarry or SnapexHarry. If one was to believe the outlook of most yaoi writers the following will always be true: "If male 'A' spends more than 30 seconds with male 'B', male 'A' is automatically secretly gay for male 'B' and wishes to build up the courage to tell male 'B'. So according to the 16-year-old girls on every forum ever the human race is doomed.
Some fanfiction falls into the category of Mary Sue fanfiction fantasies, where a new character representing the writer enters the story and upstages all of the established characters. However, Mary Sue can also be a character that's 'perfect' and has no inherent faults. While Mary Sue has some fans, she's generally frowned upon as she rarely adds to the story and is simply there to fuck all the main characters.
Other popular trends include: making sitcom characters rape, murder, and/or enter suicide pacts with each other; authors inserting themselves into universes in order to rape or be raped by established characters; handing out penises on a gender-equal basis, and generally just doing a lot of fucked up shit.
Or, when a character dies in a story and people don't like it, they write fanfiction of what if they character had lived, and then through bad writing they make the character nothing like the character in the original story, for example.
Very rarely does an actually well written fanfiction get posted on the website. However, chances of them getting recognition over the usual crock of shit are slim to none.
Typical Fanfiction
Edward slowly unzipped his pants, lowered them to his ankles, and squatted over Bella. Her lily-white bosom heaved with her every anticipatory breath. She licked her lips with fervent desire. Edward slowly separated his cool, pale buttocks to reveal the most dazzling, puckered anus Bella had ever laid her glittering, chestnut eyes upon. A burst of hot gas escaped Edward's pulsating anus and left Bella's pale face awash in his sensual stench. Slowly, a brilliant brown pebble was squeezed out of the dazzling vampire's anus. Then another dazzling brown pebble slid out of the vampire's gaping anus, and yet another, until Edward released a large, steaming, mucousy defecation upon Bella's beautiful face. Bella's ecstasy upon receiving her lover's gift sent her over the edge into a violent, shuddering orgasm. As the last drops of semen were excreted from her thick, red, throbbing erection, she let out a contented sigh. Slowly, Bella relaxed her sinewy body. Edward was now lying besides her, facing her. As the semen settled upon her creamy white thighs, he quickly leaned down and lapped up every last drop. The sensation of his tongue on the she-males thighs sent Bella into incredible desire. She reached her hands up to her face and began to smear the still steaming excrement into her fair face and dark, curly hair. Bella let out a loud moan and began to smear the hot feces into her hungry mouth. The sound of her moans accompanied the sound of her gigantic erection flopping against the floor with every writhing motion of her body, creating a sensual rhythm. The sound awakened Bella and Edward's napping daughter, Renesmee. She had been resting beside the couple throughout their fecal coitous, her young, nubile body fueling their pedophilic passions. The little girl rubbed her eyes and looked hungrily at her father's gaping, excrement-smeared anus.
"C'mon, little girl, you know what to do. Come clean daddy's hole," Edward cooed.
Renesmee did as she was told and hungrily licked her loving father's gaping anus. Through their shared psychic connection, she told him of how she wished her mother would slide her hard, thick, throbbing PENIS into her elastic, child’s anus. Bella, quick to pick up on the conversation, became aroused at this idea. Her arousal was too much to contain. Her erection began to throb with wild pulsation and soon, a smaller PENIS had emerged from the head of her own. Bella now had two PENISes, stacked upon one another, which totaled in length of over three feet. The smaller PENIS had a small mouth protruding from its head. It greatly resembled the inner-mouth of the female aliens in the film, “Alien.” It’s small mouth let out a sensual moan.
Renesmee, amazed by this, bent over in front of her mother and spread her loose VAGINA open. Intuitively, Edward stood in front of the little girl and spread his massive bush to reveal a dazzlingly white VAGINA, similar to his daughter’s. As Renesmee bent over and splayed her VAGINA and buttocks, he beckoned her to lick his long, sagging labial folds. As she happily did so, Bella came from behind her and violently thrust her double-PENIS into the child's rear. The force of this tore the little girl in two.
Her dead face still rest next to her father's large pubic bush, her tongue hanging out of her mouth. Bella stated, "Looks like we have some cleaning up to do, Eddie."
She reached for the telephone and called a friend. "Come over," she beckoned, "We're going to have dinner in half an hour."
Bella and Edward cleaned themselves off in the shower and dressed in the fine beige and satin clothing Alice had given to them after fingering their anuses one afternoon. The doorbell rang and Edward answered it. Nuttymadam stepped inside, looking famished.
Nuttymadam unhinged her massive jaw, her jowls and double chin flapping with fervent excitement. As saliva dripped down her gaping maw, she approached the spent body of Renesmee and bellowed, "UHMAYZING BUUUUUUHK!"
Nuttymadam shoveled the limp, bloody, semen covered corpse into her gigantic mouth.
And then John was a zombie.
Please take note of the following author's amazing spelling ability, along with his talent for switching tenses.
Chapter One Sonic ran faster and faster away from me. It was like a nightmare. It just kept going no matter what. I finally woke up. As I woke up i thought about my dream or nightmare as I called it. As i thought it hit me right in the face. Sonic Would Never Love Me!!!
I went downstairs for breakfast and say a plate of my favorite thing to eat in the morning, it was pancakes with blueberry syrp on top with bacon on the side. Then I say something so shocking I thought I was going to die. A note that said "Dear Amy, I hope you like your birthday present it was all i could do until later. Love, Sonic P.S. I thought I never would be able to tell you how i feel." she said out loud. As she looked away from the wonderful note she say him standing there.
I froze in place seeing him there and the note. I thought it was all a dream or was it?.? "Hey sleeping cutie." he said. I was speechless about everything. He came closer hoping for me to say something. "Hi handsome." i said still in shock pure fricking shock. "I was hoping you don't mind me asking. Do you like pasta Ms.Rose?" he asked as he came closer. He was only an inch away from me still as dashing as ever. "Ya i love pasta. Why?" I asked curiously.
He came a cenemeter closer. His face coming closer even more, I backed up into a wall. He still came closer, but why is he doing this i thought. "Well it is a secret my Rose." he said blushing. "Uh...(As he kissed my chek moving toward my mouth)..I" i tried to squeeze out before my lips locked with his.
He finally stopped. Me as breathless than ever. "Be ready by 7:30 p.m. K?" he asked. "Sure." was all i could say to him.
The day passed. It was finally time to meet Sonic. I was wearing a blue sparkly dress up to my knees, my hair was in a bun, black high heels, and a hand bag for anything really. My door bell rang *Ring Ring Ring* I answered the door. By my suprise it was Sonic. "You look rather dashing if I do say so myself." he said. "Thank you same for you." I siad.
When we got there he went to one knee and pulled out a small box and opened it asking "Will you marry me Ms.Rose?" "Yes oh yes Sonic i would love to marry you!' I screamed. The ring was pure gold with real diamonds.
"Happy birthday my sweetheart." he said smiling his cute crooked smile. After he proposed to me we ate at Olive Garden.
Chapter 2
The next four months passed as we prepared for the ceremony. I was ready, but still nervous. I wanted this so bad it made me cry with tears of joy.
The day came my wedding the one i have dreamed of all this time it was finally coming true. As I walked down the aisle in my silk white gown I saw Sonic in his silk black tux. We said or lines and kissed.
The party was really cool. It was in Italy so pretty I was in heaven. i loved everything. my dreams all coming true one at a time.
Chapter 3
It has been two years since I married Sonic. I am pregnant with twins. in nine months I will have a family i can call mine.
As we waited for the nine months to pass we prepared the rooms and the things we needed. It was almost time.
I finally had my babies. One was a girl her name was Rosie the Rascle, and the other one was a boy his name was Sonie the Rascle. Sonie was purple with blue, but Rosie was pink, purple, and blue all in one with a white dress.
I Got My Happy Ending! The End!
Hamill's Law
The quality of the fan fiction in any given fandom is equal to the negative of the square of the absolute value of the quality of the fandom's canon, or, in mathematical terms, X = -(|Y|)². Therefore, both good and bad canons will have far worse fanfictions. Thusly, from this, we can conclude that all fanfiction is bad.
Enemies of ART!!!11
The following authors have been noted at one point or another to have told off fanfic writers for perusing their hobbies. They are consequently the target of angst and much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
- Katherine Kerr
- Diana Gabaldon
- P.N. Elrod
- Raymond Feist
- Terry Goodkind
- Laurell K. Hamilton
- Robin Hobb
- Dennis L. McKiernan
- Robin McKinley
- Irene Radford
- George R. R. Martin - Has recently written a series of posts on his 'not a blog' [1] stating the obligation that authors have to make sure their copyright is enforced. Fanfic fans argued the opposite was true, in not so few words.
- Nora Roberts/J.D. Robb
- James Frey (celebrated author of "A Million Little Pieces") Until Oprah showed that Cracka wats up
- Dan Shive - He fears that they may get his idea and accuse him of stealing it. Talk about paranoid. (Also, his comic inspired Anne Onymous to do The Wotch.
The following authors, while openly hating fanfiction, are still fucking horrible.
The 6FT Dick
The 6Ft Dick is a troll writer on FF.net, he in fact does a good job at it and pisses off many. If you see someone flame him, leave this message:
"Listen here bitch, why don't you like my story it's the Greatest Story Evar made considering your mom helped me make it. Why don't you go fuck your lesbian and make out with her cunt. Since you are good at that. Fuck you whore. Lesbian crack addict bitch."
Testimonials
- IseeURtrueCOLORS
2006-07-18 ch 1, reply R U ON SOME KIND OF MEDS? lol, jk, I laughed my ass off the whole time. !
- Beyonce's Angel925
2006-07-14 ch 1, reply THIS WAS BORING. THE SENTANCES WERE TO BUNCHED UP. AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE A DANNY PHANTOM STORY BECAUSE YOU SUCKED AT THIS ONE. BELIEVE ME. I CAN TELL WHEN THERE IS A GOOD DP STORY. AND THIS DEFINATELY ISN'T ONE. I'M OBSESSED WITH DANNY PHANTOM. I SHOULD KNOW. WHY DO YOU THINK MY PEN NAME IS FANTOMGIRL 1 ON 1. AND THAT WOULDN'T BE MY PEN NAME IF I DIDN'T LIKE DP. BUT I LOVE IT. SO I SUGGEST YOU NOT WRITE ANOTHER DANNY PHANTOM STORY BECAUSE THIS ONE POSITIVELY STINKS.
~FANTOMGIRL
FanFiction.Net
FanFiction.Net is one of the worst sites evar. With faggots fagging up categories with their stories that have nothing to do with the genre or fanon in question. They only do it because Fictionpress.com gets less people/reviews. Most of the stories on this site have to do with animu, Harry Potter, or Hannah Montana shoving a cock up Nick Jonas' ass.
The forums are full of people who suck each others' e-penis. Constantly.
At least 100 years ago, the people running FanFiction.Net got sick and tired of the FBI calling them up and asking them about all of the pedophile sex stories (mainly in Anime and Video game sections such as Final Fantasy and Xenosaga) that their site was hosting, and decided to do something about it. Under the guise of closing their site down for a day in memory of 9/11, the Jew of FanFiction.Net formulated a plan to end this problem once and for all. The next day, they told everyone that they were going to get rid of all of the stories rated NC-17. The result was an expected emo cryfest from people who were upset that someone else's site would no longer host their Harry Potter gay sex stories. Many people attempted to contact the government and complain that their first amendment rights were being violated. These people were promptly arrested by the FBI in what amounted to a intricate sting against pedophiles.
A new rating system was put into place with categories including K(Appropriate for lolies), K+(Appropriate for older lolies), T(Appropriate for teens), and M(Appropriate for Mature Audiences). The default rating became K -> T, with hopes of weeding out the mature matter. This led to M simply becoming the new NC-17.
Anonymous Joins the Action
Last Thursday, Anonymous decided to get into the fanfiction business. They assembled their team of heroes and combined forces to create an incredible piece of literature, then uploaded it to Fanfiction.net. The profile the story was uploaded with can be be viewed here. The story embodied everything that was great about Anonymous. The venture was a smash success, garnering at least 100 reviews and Over 9000 hits.
Youtube
Believe it or not, Fanfiction.net is not the center of shitty fanfiction. 12 year old Disney fangirls like to post their lemons on Youtube to demonstrate us how much they've learned about sex. So these girls learn about writing fanfiction and at the same time masturbating. What? It's multi-educational!
Fic in the description.
Note the horny little 8 year olds in the comments engaging for cyber time.
A typical fan fic writer's views
—albe-chan, who despite her batshit rant on hating babies, thinks her new nephew is the cutest thing in EXISTENCE |
Lulzy Reviews
Wow. What an amazing story! It was an emotional roller coaster ride from beginning to end. I liked the part where Team Rocket jumped out from behind a tree, it surprised me! And the horrible twist of fate when they stole Pikachu. Poor Ash! I really felt sorry for him! I could really feel his devastageon as if it was my own.
How to write fanfiction
- Go to http://prillalar.com/drabbles/ and fill in all of the fields.
- Click "Drabble me!"
- ????
- PROFIT!!!
Example:
I Saw Zoey Kissing Santa Claus
Bill woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one slimy box that looked like a gun.
Then Bill noticed that Zoey was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.
Bill thought that he would surprise Zoey. Maybe even sneak up behind her and jump her on her bloody penis. That always made Zoey hot.
Bill crept angrily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its old lights, and the presents, heaped up huskily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Zoey. Kissing someone.
Bill was so angry, he picked up a ammo from a table and threw it sexily on the tank.
They both looked around.
"Zoey, you sweaty zombie!" Bill yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Bill looked and then rubbed his leg and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Zoey said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a wet kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Bill said firmly. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be muscly."
That seemed reasonable. Bill went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a hot molotov fire burning in the moonlight. He made Bill's eye feel all hard.
"You see?" Zoey said gently and Bill saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
Example:
The Prostitute Prince
Edward was walking through a Lickable meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a Shagable little Prostitute lying under a tree.
Edward skipped over to see the dear thing and was Suckable to find that he was hurt! A Dildo had pierced his Kissable little Lips and he whimpered Arousingly with the pain.
"My Rimable little friend," Edward said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the Dildo, as Sexily as he could. The Prostitute cried out and Edward's heart ached, I want to fuck you. "You'll be all right," Edward whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Jacob and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Jacob up in his arms, Edward carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Edward nursed Jacob, cleaning his Lips and feeding him Penis enlarger-brand Prostitute chow.
On the eighth night, Jacob climbed into bed with Edward. He burrowed under the covers and Hotly Fucked Edward's Dick. It made Edward giggle and he cuddled close to Jacob, stroking his Cock and singing Graphicly to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Edward hurried home so he could curl up with Jacob. It gave him a Suckable feeling whenever Jacob Fucked his Dick.
Then one night, Jacob looked up at Edward and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a Touchable prince."
Edward screamed Seductively, he was so surprised. How could a Prostitute talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Jacob said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Edward said and kissed Jacob on his Cock. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a Touchable prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Jacob," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Edward said.
"See?" Jacob said and showed Edward the scar from the Dildo on his Lips. Then he kissed Edward and they tumbled In bed and did a lot of very Manly things, some of them involving a Fuckable Vibrator.
"I love you," Jacob said when they were done. Edward clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Jacob had stashed away.
And if Jacob didn't know about Edward's visits to the Prostitute sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
Example:
To Astoundingly Suck
link and Zelda were celebrating a large Valentine's Day together. link had cooked a hairy dinner and they ate on a tractor by candlelight.
"My darling," Zelda said, stroking link's dick, "I have something for you." She gave a box to link. "It is but an amazing token of my hot love."
link opened the box. Inside was a tight clit! He gazed at it hastily. Then he gazed at Zelda hastily. "It's fast," link said. "Come here and let me suck you."
Just then, an orgasmic crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like odin granting all the young children their name wishes.. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a magical voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Zelda read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other romantically as the crone cackled some more. link's mouth began to tremble. Then Zelda shrugged, pulled out a cunt, and hit the crone on her cunt. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" link said and kissed Zelda amazingly. "This is a sexy Valentine's Day!"
They quickly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they sucked each other all night long.
Example:
MOTHERFUCKER and GAYNIGGER by William Shakespeare
Enter MOTHERFUCKER
GAYNIGGER appears above at a window
MOTHERFUCKER: But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the COCK SWALLOWING ASSHOLE, and GAYNIGGER is the COCKDRAGON. Arise, UNFUNNY COCKDRAGON, and FUCK the PISS DILDO. See, how he leans his SAGGING ANUS upon his 6FT HORSE COCK! O, that I were a glove upon that 6FT HORSE COCK, That I might touch that SAGGING ANUS!
GAYNIGGER: O MOTHERFUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER! wherefore art thou MOTHERFUCKER? What's in a name? That which we call a PROBOSCIS By any other name would smell as MOTHERFUCK Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT THAT WAS THE PROBABLY THE GAYEST FANFIC YOU HAVE EVER READ" And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st, Thou mayst prove AAAAHHH.
MOTHERFUCKER: Swain, by yonder PISS DILDO I swear That tips ON A GIANT DILDO the SARCASTIC VIRGIN ANUS--
GAYNIGGER: O, swear not by the DILDO, the SHITTY DILDO, That FUCKINGLY changes in its HOLY orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise HOLY. Sweet, GODDAMN night! A thousand times GODDAMN night! Parting is such CASH sorrow, That I shall say GODDAMN night till it be morrow.
Exit above
MOTHERFUCKER: Sleep dwell upon thy SAGGING ANUS, peace in thy 6FT HORSE COCK! Would I were sleep and peace, so CUNTFUCK to rest! HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT will I to my UNFUNNY PROBOSCIS's cell, Its help to FUCK, and my MOTHERFUCK PROBOSCIS to tell.
HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT THAT WAS PROBABLY THE BEST FANFIC EVAR CREATED.
Example:
The Battle For The COCK
ON THE BACK OF BELLA'S TRUCK, EDWARD CULLEN SUCKED his COCK. He had been busy with the COCK for hours and now wanted nothing more than a ANGSTY cuddle or a BEASTLY massage from his lover JACOB BLACK.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his SHINY JACOB BLACK appeared at the door, grinning SEXILY.
"Put down the COCK," JACOB BLACK said ANGRILY. "Unless you want me to SUCK that COCK on your HAND."
EDWARD CULLEN put down the COCK. He was INCANDESCENT. He had never seen JACOB BLACK so PERFECT before and it made him HARD.
JACOB BLACK picked up the COCK, then withdrew a DILDO from his VAGINA. "Don't be so INCANDESCENT," JACOB BLACK said with a PERFECT grimace. "A SWORDFISH bit my PENIS this morning, and everything became WANGSTY. Now with this COCK and this DILDO I can ANGRILY rule the world!"
EDWARD CULLEN clutched his ANGELIC PENIS HARDLY. This was his lover, his SHINY JACOB BLACK, now staring at him with a PERFECT VAGINA.
"Fight it!" EDWARD CULLEN shouted. "The SWORDFISH just wants the COCK for his own SHINY devices! He doesn't love you, not the ANGSTY way I do!"
EDWARD CULLEN could see JACOB BLACK trembling HARDLY. EDWARD CULLEN reached out his HAND and touched JACOB BLACK's VAGINA ANGRILY. He was SHINY, so SHINY, but he knew only his ANGELIC love for JACOB BLACK would break the SWORDFISH's spell.
Sure enough, JACOB BLACK dropped the COCK with a thunk. "Oh, EDWARD CULLEN," he squealed. "I'm so ANGSTY, can you ever forgive me?"
But EDWARD CULLEN had already moved ON THE BACK OF BELLA'S TRUCK. LIKE SOME GAY GUY HAVING SEX WITH A LESBIAN, he pressed his HAND into JACOB BLACK's VAGINA. And as they fell together in a WANGSTY fit of love, the COCK lay on the floor, HARD and forgotten.
Example:
Quarterlife: Halfway to Destruction
Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction
ATUHOR'S NOSE: Uncycylopedia (which is online encyclopidia like wikiped) said I was writing story called Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction and dontn't know where come but I decide to write anyway.
CHAPTER ONE: WHAT IT MEANS Gordon Freechmen was studying in his was studying laboratoried. Fellow scientist cow-orker Jimm said "Gordon Freemant what are you working on" "UI have discovered new radoactive isatope but it is so vollatile that it does not have a half-life but quarter-life so we must observe with hasty" Juts then a headcrab went on Jimms head OH NO WHERE DID HEADCRAB COME FROM! GHordon wents to get his crowbarb ut it was missing so hhad to borrow a claymore sword. He hits teh headcrab and Jimm was okay but his head was cut "Watch where you swings at me just kidding thanks" " HAha" They laughed "Whait oh no where id isotop?" "UIt is been stoled!"
CHAPTER TWO: THEY REVOCER TEH ISOTROPE BUT THEY DON'T Gordon and Jimm arrived at teh alien scene where a bad guy from the game said "I have take the isotope and it will cause meltdown!" "NO, NOT ALL OF DALLAS!" Which swas target of where they were and it was nice place and my friend lives there. "IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO MY DEMANS" "TOO LATE" and the isotope hit quarterlife and teh room was slowly become vaporize "Ew must escapes out of here fastly" but Jimm was already blowed to smitheroons.
CHAPTER THREE: DESTRUACTION IS IMMINANT "This is Gordon Freeman how do we contain teh meltdown? I know!" And he used portals to push henemy headquarters into a portal so Dallas wouldnt melt down and it would only go off harmless in Atlantic ocean. "Hooray I scucceeded at winning the mission" "Not so fast, Mr. Gordon"
What happens next? You deiside!
Tahnks for reading please buy my book at peterchimaera .com i am poor :(
Example:
A DICK-LIKE Day To FUCK
COCK climbed off the DICK and walked DICKISHLY across the grass to greet his lover. DICK patted COCK on the PECKER and then tried to FUCK him DICKISHLY, but without success.
"That's all right," COCK said. "We can try again later."
"I'm just not DICK-LIKE," DICK. "Not as DICK-LIKE as the time we FUCKED ON A DICK."
COCK nodded DICKISHLY. "We were DICK-LIKE back in those days."
"Our DICKs were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," DICK said. "Everything seems DICK-LIKE and DICK-LIKE when you're young."
"Of course," COCK said. "But now we're DICK-LIKE, we can still have fun. If we go about it DICKISHLY."
"DICKISHLY?" DICK said . "But how?"
"With this," COCK said and held out a DICK-LIKE DICK. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to FUCK."
DICK swallowed the DICK at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to FUCK DICKISHLY. They FUCKED LIKE A G6 LIKE A LIKE A G6. Three times.
And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.
Example:
FUCKING Love
EDWARD CULLEN finished packing. Ever since JACOB BLACK, his own true love, had been lost at sea, EDWARD CULLEN had been FUCKING.
There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing FUCKED him, all was FUCKING. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going IN AN OUTHOUSE to become a FUCKING PENIS.
Just then, there was a FUCKING knock at the door. EDWARD CULLEN opened it and stood there SHITTILY for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his ASSHOLE.
When EDWARD CULLEN came to, JACOB BLACK was holding his GOATSE and looking FUCKING. "My love," JACOB BLACK said SHITTILY, "I'm sorry for the FUCKING shock. I've been shipwrecked on a FUCKING island for the last ten years, living LIKE SEEING GOATSE ALL OVER AGAIN. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my ANUS in the wreck. Can you still love me?"
EDWARD CULLEN could hardly believe his JACOB BLACK had returned. "I will always love you, ANUS or no ANUS. Besides, you can cover it up with a COCK."
They embraced SHITTILY and vowed to never be parted again.
And all was FUCKING.
See also
- FanFiction.Net
- Mary Sue
- My Immortal - Undisputed holder of the "Worst Fanfic Evar" award
- TWILA, DA GIRL WHO WAS IN LUV W A VAMPIR - May just have taken that award off My Immortal
- Chikichakigirl
- MST
- Kraken's ghost
- Msscribe
- Kameko
- Snapesnogger
- Ryoukitten
- God Awful Fan Fiction
- The EverQuest Mystere Fanfic
- Porn
- The Bible
- Kigichi
- What - this is the correct response upon being presented with fan fiction
- Shit
- Plot bunny
- Fandom Secrets
- Fanfic lesbians
- Slash Firestorm
- Het
- Cyndilovespiccolo
- Gloria Tesch
- Eddward4eva
- Sephirothslave
External Links
- The Fanfiction Glossary
- FanFiction.Net
- AdultFanFiction.Net
- GodawfulFanFiction.Net
- If time permits, flame this user.
- BADFICTION
- ED Fanfics
- Typical FanTard
- BadFic Bashing Site mostly Naruto Fics GEE I WONDER Y?
- Fanfic Rants
- http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1601988/ Trollish retard from England, thinks he or she is literate. Their House M.D stories will either make you laugh or cry.
- Usual fanfiction
- lolwut
- A 'goffick' princess who hates 'prepz' and 'posers'. Flame at will.
- Unwarrented self importance
- http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1740196/IHateThisSite/ Originally Myesha Crystalis, but is now "IHateThisSite" because a couple of people told her that her Jonas Brothers wet dreams weren't allowed on FanFiction.Net. Flame the shit out of her.
- A true masterpiece
- Bad crossover fanfiction idea generator <---Get your FAIL ideas for your shitty fanfiction HERE
- http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7115142/1/Doukutsu_Days_2_Electric_Boogaloo Grammar nazi.
- Porkemon Fan Fiction One of the few good fanfics out there, and certainly the best. Oh, and be sure to read all the chapters and not just the first post.
