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FanFiction

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Fan fiction (also spelled fanfiction or fagfiction and commonly abbreviated to fanfic or fic) is fiction written by people who enjoy a film, novel, television show, book, or other media work, using the characters and situations developed in it and raping them in every possible and impossible way up the ass (as a matter of historical interest, it should be noted that in the pre-1965 era, the term "fan fiction" was used in fandom to designate Science Fiction written by members of fandom (specifically that of Star Trek) and published in fanzines, as distinguished from fiction professionally published; this usage is now obsolete). The most common use of fanfiction is merely as an excuse for no-talent writers to live out their most erotic fantasies with their favourite fictional characters.

Fanfic characters nevar forget.
Starthehedgehog100
   
 
"My life is a complete disaster with no creative outlet other than writing my Desperate Housewives fan fiction."
 

 
 

—Sandy Ryerson, Glee.

History

 
Reaction to most fanfiction.

Some argue that Virgil's epic poem, The Aeneid, was the first work of fan fiction, based on Homer's Odyssey; in it, a Trojan named Aeneas leads a group of refugees after the fall of the city to find a new homeland, eventually founding Rome. Unlike all other fan fiction thereafter, it actually wasn't a complete pile of shit.

The world's second fanfic is also its most successful. Titled "The New Testament," the fan fiction takes the main character from one of literature's most successful works, the Bible, and sends him on new, semiretarded adventures concocted by the fans. The fanfic cemented a number of trends in fanfiction that to this day are still prevalent. It introduces a new main character who is basically the old main character only not. The new character is also the first example of a Gary Stu in fanfiction. Like most fanfiction writers, the authors weren't very creative, so they stole a lot of their story ideas from other, better stories. All in all, the fanfic was pretty shit, but it somehow managed to get published. Even though the Jew categorically denies that it is canon, a whole bunch of faggots have released new editions of the original book with the fanfic attached. The original publishers are, of course, not pleased, but this was all done in the days before copyright law (which they then invented to get revenge), so they can't do shit.

One of the more successful fanfics of more recent times is the Bible-based Book of Mormon, which is fanfiction based on fanfiction, and as you can imagine it would be, is total shit.

Fanfiction became popular through the 70's and 80's through zines. Usually writing about Duran Duran members fucking each other's brains out.

Fan fiction has come to the forefront especially since the rise of the Internets, where it flourishes despite the possibility that it infringes the copyright of the film, book, TV show, or other media on which it is based.

Fan fiction writers sometimes claim to be asexual. It was probably because they got OWNED in sex. i.e., The man came too early, thought it was bad, etc. Um, yeah.

The fact stands that they still masturbate to Cloud and Sephiroth fucking each other in the ass.

Note: Since its conception, some believe that Fanfiction has reached a status analogous to Rule 34, as in: If it exists, there is Fanficton of it. So far, Nobody has argued this belief to be anything but Fact.

TL;DNR Version: ITS ALL GAY!!!!!!!!!!

Types

 
Handy-dandy chart for serios reference.

Major genres of fanfic include those based on: J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series; Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series; J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings; God's autobiography The Bible; science fiction serials (both on television and in film) including Supernatural, X-Files, Buffy, Star Trek, and Gilmore Girls; other serial television (dramatic and even comedic) including Grey's Anatomy, Prison Break, Alias, and Scrubs; and American cartoon series such as Teen Titans, Ninja Turtles, Danny Phantom and Avatar the Last Airbender.

However, the vast majority of fanfiction is based loosely on anime. Even if the material which inspires the fanfic bears absolutely no resemblance to anime, fanfic writers will find some way to introduce anime influences.

A large subsection of fanfiction revolves around romantic and/or sexual relationships between characters, almost always outside the canon of the source material and often dealt with in explicit detail. Further, among relationship centered fan fiction, a large portion deals with same sex relationships, with male/male pairings being the most common; this is called slash or yaoi. Fanfiction revolving around pairings is often denoted by writing both names (or abbreviations of such) with a slash or a (usually lowercase) x, or by fusing the two names together. An example in the Harry Potter fandom would be Snarry or SnapexHarry. If one was to believe the outlook of most yaoi writers the following will always be true: "If male 'A' spends more than 30 seconds with male 'B', male 'A' is automatically secretly gay for male 'B' and wishes to build up the courage to tell male 'B'. So according to the 16-year-old girls on every forum ever the human race is doomed.

Some fanfiction falls into the category of Mary Sue fanfiction fantasies, where a new character representing the writer enters the story and upstages all of the established characters. However, Mary Sue can also be a character that's 'perfect' and has no inherent faults. While Mary Sue has some fans, she's generally frowned upon as she rarely adds to the story and is simply there to fuck all the main characters.

Other popular trends include: making sitcom characters rape, murder, and/or enter suicide pacts with each other; authors inserting themselves into universes in order to rape or be raped by established characters; handing out penises on a gender-equal basis, and generally just doing a lot of fucked up shit.

Or, when a character dies in a story and people don't like it, they write fanfiction of what if they character had lived, and then through bad writing they make the character nothing like the character in the original story, for example.

Very rarely does an actually well written fanfiction get posted on the website. However, chances of them getting recognition over the usual crock of shit are slim to none.

Typical Fanfiction

Edward slowly unzipped his pants, lowered them to his ankles, and squatted over Bella. Her lily-white bosom heaved with her every anticipatory breath. She licked her lips with fervent desire. Edward slowly separated his cool, pale buttocks to reveal the most dazzling, puckered anus Bella had ever laid her glittering, chestnut eyes upon. A burst of hot gas escaped Edward's pulsating anus and left Bella's pale face awash in his sensual stench. Slowly, a brilliant brown pebble was squeezed out of the dazzling vampire's anus. Then another dazzling brown pebble slid out of the vampire's gaping anus, and yet another, until Edward released a large, steaming, mucousy defecation upon Bella's beautiful face. Bella's ecstasy upon receiving her lover's gift sent her over the edge into a violent, shuddering orgasm. As the last drops of semen were excreted from her thick, red, throbbing erection, she let out a contented sigh. Slowly, Bella relaxed her sinewy body. Edward was now lying besides her, facing her. As the semen settled upon her creamy white thighs, he quickly leaned down and lapped up every last drop. The sensation of his tongue on the she-males thighs sent Bella into incredible desire. She reached her hands up to her face and began to smear the still steaming excrement into her fair face and dark, curly hair. Bella let out a loud moan and began to smear the hot feces into her hungry mouth. The sound of her moans accompanied the sound of her gigantic erection flopping against the floor with every writhing motion of her body, creating a sensual rhythm. The sound awakened Bella and Edward's napping daughter, Renesmee. She had been resting beside the couple throughout their fecal coitous, her young, nubile body fueling their pedophilic passions. The little girl rubbed her eyes and looked hungrily at her father's gaping, excrement-smeared anus.

"C'mon, little girl, you know what to do. Come clean daddy's hole," Edward cooed.

Renesmee did as she was told and hungrily licked her loving father's gaping anus. Through their shared psychic connection, she told him of how she wished her mother would slide her hard, thick, throbbing PENIS into her elastic, child’s anus. Bella, quick to pick up on the conversation, became aroused at this idea. Her arousal was too much to contain. Her erection began to throb with wild pulsation and soon, a smaller PENIS had emerged from the head of her own. Bella now had two PENISes, stacked upon one another, which totaled in length of over three feet. The smaller PENIS had a small mouth protruding from its head. It greatly resembled the inner-mouth of the female aliens in the film, “Alien.” It’s small mouth let out a sensual moan.

Renesmee, amazed by this, bent over in front of her mother and spread her loose VAGINA open. Intuitively, Edward stood in front of the little girl and spread his massive bush to reveal a dazzlingly white VAGINA, similar to his daughter’s. As Renesmee bent over and splayed her VAGINA and buttocks, he beckoned her to lick his long, sagging labial folds. As she happily did so, Bella came from behind her and violently thrust her double-PENIS into the child's rear. The force of this tore the little girl in two.

Her dead face still rest next to her father's large pubic bush, her tongue hanging out of her mouth. Bella stated, "Looks like we have some cleaning up to do, Eddie."

She reached for the telephone and called a friend. "Come over," she beckoned, "We're going to have dinner in half an hour."

Bella and Edward cleaned themselves off in the shower and dressed in the fine beige and satin clothing Alice had given to them after fingering their anuses one afternoon. The doorbell rang and Edward answered it. Nuttymadam stepped inside, looking famished.

Nuttymadam unhinged her massive jaw, her jowls and double chin flapping with fervent excitement. As saliva dripped down her gaping maw, she approached the spent body of Renesmee and bellowed, "UHMAYZING BUUUUUUHK!"

Nuttymadam shoveled the limp, bloody, semen covered corpse into her gigantic mouth.

And then John was a zombie.


Please take note of the following author's amazing spelling ability, along with his talent for switching tenses.

Chapter One Sonic ran faster and faster away from me. It was like a nightmare. It just kept going no matter what. I finally woke up. As I woke up i thought about my dream or nightmare as I called it. As i thought it hit me right in the face. Sonic Would Never Love Me!!!

I went downstairs for breakfast and say a plate of my favorite thing to eat in the morning, it was pancakes with blueberry syrp on top with bacon on the side. Then I say something so shocking I thought I was going to die. A note that said "Dear Amy, I hope you like your birthday present it was all i could do until later. Love, Sonic P.S. I thought I never would be able to tell you how i feel." she said out loud. As she looked away from the wonderful note she say him standing there.

I froze in place seeing him there and the note. I thought it was all a dream or was it?.? "Hey sleeping cutie." he said. I was speechless about everything. He came closer hoping for me to say something. "Hi handsome." i said still in shock pure fricking shock. "I was hoping you don't mind me asking. Do you like pasta Ms.Rose?" he asked as he came closer. He was only an inch away from me still as dashing as ever. "Ya i love pasta. Why?" I asked curiously.

He came a cenemeter closer. His face coming closer even more, I backed up into a wall. He still came closer, but why is he doing this i thought. "Well it is a secret my Rose." he said blushing. "Uh...(As he kissed my chek moving toward my mouth)..I" i tried to squeeze out before my lips locked with his.

He finally stopped. Me as breathless than ever. "Be ready by 7:30 p.m. K?" he asked. "Sure." was all i could say to him.

The day passed. It was finally time to meet Sonic. I was wearing a blue sparkly dress up to my knees, my hair was in a bun, black high heels, and a hand bag for anything really. My door bell rang *Ring Ring Ring* I answered the door. By my suprise it was Sonic. "You look rather dashing if I do say so myself." he said. "Thank you same for you." I siad.

When we got there he went to one knee and pulled out a small box and opened it asking "Will you marry me Ms.Rose?" "Yes oh yes Sonic i would love to marry you!' I screamed. The ring was pure gold with real diamonds.

"Happy birthday my sweetheart." he said smiling his cute crooked smile. After he proposed to me we ate at Olive Garden.

Chapter 2

The next four months passed as we prepared for the ceremony. I was ready, but still nervous. I wanted this so bad it made me cry with tears of joy.

The day came my wedding the one i have dreamed of all this time it was finally coming true. As I walked down the aisle in my silk white gown I saw Sonic in his silk black tux. We said or lines and kissed.

The party was really cool. It was in Italy so pretty I was in heaven. i loved everything. my dreams all coming true one at a time.

Chapter 3

It has been two years since I married Sonic. I am pregnant with twins. in nine months I will have a family i can call mine.

As we waited for the nine months to pass we prepared the rooms and the things we needed. It was almost time.

I finally had my babies. One was a girl her name was Rosie the Rascle, and the other one was a boy his name was Sonie the Rascle. Sonie was purple with blue, but Rosie was pink, purple, and blue all in one with a white dress.

I Got My Happy Ending! The End!

Hamill's Law

The quality of the fan fiction in any given fandom is equal to the negative of the square of the absolute value of the quality of the fandom's canon, or, in mathematical terms, X = -(|Y|)². Therefore, both good and bad canons will have far worse fanfictions. Thusly, from this, we can conclude that all fanfiction is bad.

Enemies of ART!!!11

 
Keep it realistic, people

The following authors have been noted at one point or another to have told off fanfic writers for perusing their hobbies. They are consequently the target of angst and much wailing and gnashing of teeth.


The following authors, while openly hating fanfiction, are still fucking horrible.



FanFiction.Net

 
Typical reaction to broken FF servers.

FanFiction.Net is one of the worst sites evar. With faggots fagging up categories with their stories that have nothing to do with the genre or fanon in question. They only do it because Fictionpress.com gets less people/reviews. Most of the stories on this site have to do with animu, Harry Potter, or Hannah Montana shoving a cock up Nick Jonas' ass.

The forums are full of people who suck each others' e-penis. Constantly.

File:Fan fiction resume.jpg
A fan fiction writer's resume.

At least 100 years ago, the people running FanFiction.Net got sick and tired of the FBI calling them up and asking them about all of the pedophile sex stories (mainly in Anime and Video game sections such as Final Fantasy and Xenosaga) that their site was hosting, and decided to do something about it. Under the guise of closing their site down for a day in memory of 9/11, the Jew of FanFiction.Net formulated a plan to end this problem once and for all. The next day, they told everyone that they were going to get rid of all of the stories rated NC-17. The result was an expected emo cryfest from people who were upset that someone else's site would no longer host their Harry Potter gay sex stories. Many people attempted to contact the government and complain that their first amendment rights were being violated. These people were promptly arrested by the FBI in what amounted to a intricate sting against pedophiles.


A new rating system was put into place with categories including K(Appropriate for lolies), K+(Appropriate for older lolies), T(Appropriate for teens), and M(Appropriate for Mature Audiences). The default rating became K -> T, with hopes of weeding out the mature matter. This led to M simply becoming the new NC-17.


Youtube

Believe it or not, Fanfiction.net is not the center of shitty fanfiction. 12 year old Disney fangirls like to post their lemons on Youtube to demonstrate us how much they've learned about sex. So these girls learn about writing fanfiction and at the same time masturbating. What? It's multi-educational!

Fic in the description.

Note the horny little 8 year olds in the comments engaging for cyber time.

A typical fan fic writer's views

 
 
I am a left-wing (almost communist-ly so) vote, a right-brained person, and will most likely end up institutionalized in the near future. I cannot live without cigarettes, chocolate, fan fiction or Internet; if I don't have at LEAST one of those things a day I get loopy. I heart Nick, purple, pie and chocolate. I am indecisive (or maybe not...umm...come back to me on that one) and the epitome of procrastination. I hate babies. (The thought of that thing inside me is enough to make me barf and they are annoying with too many needs. And yes, I know I was once a baby... that's the point, I don't want a little me...EVER!) And dislike most small children (with a few exceptions of course). I want to end world hunger and have world peace. John Lennon is my hero, along with the Chocolate Rain guy. I also happen to suffer from depression, which really sucks, but I refuse to take my meds for it (they don't help) and am looking into other alternatives. I mean, it's not like I don't know WHY I'm depressed or don't understand what MAKES me depressed, I just don't want to feed into drug company coffers to get better.

I live with my older sister, whom I simply adore (who has told me not to tell her about my fan fiction on several occasions but is super supportive all the time) and her as-of-yet unborn baby, Jack. I'm young but I'm not naive, I'm empathetic but I don't have a soul, I love my mommy more than anyone but hate my father with an intense passion. I long for respect but secretly don't expect it, and I used to cut, but I'm not an emo. I'm insecure, but don't really care what any of you think. Oh, and I have an obsession with socks. Socks are love.

I love gratuitous sex in fanfiction. It makes me laugh (especially the shit I come up with). I am, however a proud VIRGIN (technically speaking). And that's okay. But don't think I'm a prude or anything (far from it in fact, read the fanfiction if you don't believe me). I just want to wait for the right person. Muwah ha. Yes, person. I also happen to be a PANSEXUAL. (Which is NOT some kinky sort of fry-pan-sex after all), but means I can feel attraction to just about anyone. I came out to my sister on July 1st 2008 (then publicly some time later) and now I think I've finally come to terms with my sexuality. YAY! One step closer to Self Actualization!!
 


 

albe-chan, who despite her batshit rant on hating babies, thinks her new nephew is the cutest thing in EXISTENCE

Lulzy Reviews

Wow. What an amazing story! It was an emotional roller coaster ride from beginning to end. I liked the part where Team Rocket jumped out from behind a tree, it surprised me! And the horrible twist of fate when they stole Pikachu. Poor Ash! I really felt sorry for him! I could really feel his devastageon as if it was my own.

From there, it degenerated from a happy adventurous story into a dark, philosophical tale about the meaning of life, the brutality of this world, and most of all, vengeance. The thematic elements were obvious and overpowering, yet subtle. There was a steady buildup to the climax until Ash, robbed of his best friend, loses control of his emotions and punishes Team Rocket for what they did to him, sacrificing himself in the process.

The aftermath was especially painful to take, illustrating the effect that Ash's choice had on his remaining friends, whom he'd forgotten about and disregarded in his final act. Little did he know how much he meant to them, for they, too, could not continue once he was gone...

The title of the work, "Pikachu", is especially meaningful, oozing with significance. Pikachu was truly the center of Ash's life, and thus the story. In a surprise twist, you pulled off a double meaning of the title near the end, when it was revealed that Pikachu was also the center of Team Rocket's newest money-making scheme to sell coats of Pikachu fur.

In conclusion, with a brilliant plot and brilliant execution, your story stands out as a shining star among a sea of haphazard attempts and poorly-written newbie spew that makes up the Pokemon fandom. I congratulate you, sir, on your monumental contribution to the fandom, and I regret only that I cannot add this to my favorites list fifty times. I hope to see more writing from you in the near future.

How to write fanfiction

  1. Go to http://prillalar.com/drabbles/ and fill in all of the fields.
  2. Click "Drabble me!"
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!

Example:

I Saw Zoey Kissing Santa Claus

Bill woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one slimy box that looked like a gun.

Then Bill noticed that Zoey was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

Bill thought that he would surprise Zoey. Maybe even sneak up behind her and jump her on her bloody penis. That always made Zoey hot.

Bill crept angrily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its old lights, and the presents, heaped up huskily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Zoey. Kissing someone.

Bill was so angry, he picked up a ammo from a table and threw it sexily on the tank.

They both looked around.

"Zoey, you sweaty zombie!" Bill yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Bill looked and then rubbed his leg and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Zoey said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a wet kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Bill said firmly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be muscly."

That seemed reasonable. Bill went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a hot molotov fire burning in the moonlight. He made Bill's eye feel all hard.

"You see?" Zoey said gently and Bill saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.


Example:

The Prostitute Prince

Edward was walking through a Lickable meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a Shagable little Prostitute lying under a tree.

Edward skipped over to see the dear thing and was Suckable to find that he was hurt! A Dildo had pierced his Kissable little Lips and he whimpered Arousingly with the pain.

"My Rimable little friend," Edward said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the Dildo, as Sexily as he could. The Prostitute cried out and Edward's heart ached, I want to fuck you. "You'll be all right," Edward whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Jacob and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Jacob up in his arms, Edward carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Edward nursed Jacob, cleaning his Lips and feeding him Penis enlarger-brand Prostitute chow.

On the eighth night, Jacob climbed into bed with Edward. He burrowed under the covers and Hotly Fucked Edward's Dick. It made Edward giggle and he cuddled close to Jacob, stroking his Cock and singing Graphicly to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Edward hurried home so he could curl up with Jacob. It gave him a Suckable feeling whenever Jacob Fucked his Dick.

Then one night, Jacob looked up at Edward and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a Touchable prince."

Edward screamed Seductively, he was so surprised. How could a Prostitute talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Jacob said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Edward said and kissed Jacob on his Cock. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a Touchable prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Jacob," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Edward said.

"See?" Jacob said and showed Edward the scar from the Dildo on his Lips. Then he kissed Edward and they tumbled In bed and did a lot of very Manly things, some of them involving a Fuckable Vibrator.

"I love you," Jacob said when they were done. Edward clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Jacob had stashed away.

And if Jacob didn't know about Edward's visits to the Prostitute sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.


Example:

To Astoundingly Suck

link and Zelda were celebrating a large Valentine's Day together. link had cooked a hairy dinner and they ate on a tractor by candlelight.

"My darling," Zelda said, stroking link's dick, "I have something for you." She gave a box to link. "It is but an amazing token of my hot love."

link opened the box. Inside was a tight clit! He gazed at it hastily. Then he gazed at Zelda hastily. "It's fast," link said. "Come here and let me suck you."

Just then, an orgasmic crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like odin granting all the young children their name wishes.. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a magical voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Zelda read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other romantically as the crone cackled some more. link's mouth began to tremble. Then Zelda shrugged, pulled out a cunt, and hit the crone on her cunt. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" link said and kissed Zelda amazingly. "This is a sexy Valentine's Day!"

They quickly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they sucked each other all night long.


Example:

MOTHERFUCKER and GAYNIGGER by William Shakespeare

Enter MOTHERFUCKER

GAYNIGGER appears above at a window

MOTHERFUCKER: But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the COCK SWALLOWING ASSHOLE, and GAYNIGGER is the COCKDRAGON. Arise, UNFUNNY COCKDRAGON, and FUCK the PISS DILDO. See, how he leans his SAGGING ANUS upon his 6FT HORSE COCK! O, that I were a glove upon that 6FT HORSE COCK, That I might touch that SAGGING ANUS!

GAYNIGGER: O MOTHERFUCKER, MOTHERFUCKER! wherefore art thou MOTHERFUCKER? What's in a name? That which we call a PROBOSCIS By any other name would smell as MOTHERFUCK Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT THAT WAS THE PROBABLY THE GAYEST FANFIC YOU HAVE EVER READ" And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st, Thou mayst prove AAAAHHH.

MOTHERFUCKER: Swain, by yonder PISS DILDO I swear That tips ON A GIANT DILDO the SARCASTIC VIRGIN ANUS--

GAYNIGGER: O, swear not by the DILDO, the SHITTY DILDO, That FUCKINGLY changes in its HOLY orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise HOLY. Sweet, GODDAMN night! A thousand times GODDAMN night! Parting is such CASH sorrow, That I shall say GODDAMN night till it be morrow.

Exit above

MOTHERFUCKER: Sleep dwell upon thy SAGGING ANUS, peace in thy 6FT HORSE COCK! Would I were sleep and peace, so CUNTFUCK to rest! HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT will I to my UNFUNNY PROBOSCIS's cell, Its help to FUCK, and my MOTHERFUCK PROBOSCIS to tell.


HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT THAT WAS PROBABLY THE BEST FANFIC EVAR CREATED.

Example:

Quarterlife: Halfway to Destruction

Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction

ATUHOR'S NOSE: Uncycylopedia (which is online encyclopidia like wikiped) said I was writing story called Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction and dontn't know where come but I decide to write anyway.

CHAPTER ONE: WHAT IT MEANS Gordon Freechmen was studying in his was studying laboratoried. Fellow scientist cow-orker Jimm said "Gordon Freemant what are you working on" "UI have discovered new radoactive isatope but it is so vollatile that it does not have a half-life but quarter-life so we must observe with hasty" Juts then a headcrab went on Jimms head OH NO WHERE DID HEADCRAB COME FROM! GHordon wents to get his crowbarb ut it was missing so hhad to borrow a claymore sword. He hits teh headcrab and Jimm was okay but his head was cut "Watch where you swings at me just kidding thanks" " HAha" They laughed "Whait oh no where id isotop?" "UIt is been stoled!"

CHAPTER TWO: THEY REVOCER TEH ISOTROPE BUT THEY DON'T Gordon and Jimm arrived at teh alien scene where a bad guy from the game said "I have take the isotope and it will cause meltdown!" "NO, NOT ALL OF DALLAS!" Which swas target of where they were and it was nice place and my friend lives there. "IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO MY DEMANS" "TOO LATE" and the isotope hit quarterlife and teh room was slowly become vaporize "Ew must escapes out of here fastly" but Jimm was already blowed to smitheroons.

CHAPTER THREE: DESTRUACTION IS IMMINANT "This is Gordon Freeman how do we contain teh meltdown? I know!" And he used portals to push henemy headquarters into a portal so Dallas wouldnt melt down and it would only go off harmless in Atlantic ocean. "Hooray I scucceeded at winning the mission" "Not so fast, Mr. Gordon"

What happens next? You deiside!

Tahnks for reading please buy my book at peterchimaera .com i am poor :(



Example:

FUCKING Love

EDWARD CULLEN finished packing. Ever since JACOB BLACK, his own true love, had been lost at sea, EDWARD CULLEN had been FUCKING.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing FUCKED him, all was FUCKING. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going IN AN OUTHOUSE to become a FUCKING PENIS.

Just then, there was a FUCKING knock at the door. EDWARD CULLEN opened it and stood there SHITTILY for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his ASSHOLE.

When EDWARD CULLEN came to, JACOB BLACK was holding his GOATSE and looking FUCKING. "My love," JACOB BLACK said SHITTILY, "I'm sorry for the FUCKING shock. I've been shipwrecked on a FUCKING island for the last ten years, living LIKE SEEING GOATSE ALL OVER AGAIN. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my ANUS in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

EDWARD CULLEN could hardly believe his JACOB BLACK had returned. "I will always love you, ANUS or no ANUS. Besides, you can cover it up with a COCK."

They embraced SHITTILY and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was FUCKING.


Hipster Fanfiction

I sipped my cup of water, the fluid sloshing around in my already filled stomach that sat painfully on my full bladder. The sound of the shower running upstairs did little to help the burning need to releave myself but I did not move from my knees three on the floor where he had left me dressed in my clothes from work, a black skirt red wench’s slip shirt and a pair of black thigh high stockings. Finally the shower stopped and I heard Avey Tare come down the stairs and stand in front of me, imediately I began to stuff his already moist cock into my mouth, but the phone rang. Avey picked up the phone and began a cheerful conversation all the while stuffing his dick down my throat to the point of choking, hands wound deeply into my hair pulling it steadily further and further into my face. This went on for quite some time, untill my lips were swollen and my jaw was acheing, precum and saliva running down my chin.

When the conversation came to a close he ripped my head back by a hand full of hair, streams of spit trailing from the head of his dick to my swollen soaked lips. He drug me to standing and ordered me to remove my undwear and tied my hands tightly together and latched them to the back of my neck. He hicked my skirt up above my waist and pulled the elastic lined top of my shirt under my breasts which he ran his warm hands over a few times before grabbing my rock hard nipples and yanking me onto the couch. He spread my legs wide and sucked on my swollen clit, he shoved his finger deep inside my socking pussy and slammed it into me harder and harder till his knucles began to bruise my outer lips, dark and fat from blood. I bucked and kicked, each time being denied complete orgasm, he continued to bring me to that shining edge and snapping me back never letting me finish. He ran his thumb along my ass, letting it press softly against those tight muscels and blood rushed to my face, my heart thundered in my ears, and fear quickened my breath.

He looked over at the glass of water, unfinshied, and looked back at me with disapointment as I lay sprawled, arms locked behind my head, legs spread wide. He began to lay stinging blows to the inside of my thighs, again and again the loud smack of his palm and the firey sting that brought tears to my eyes, the punishment making me wish to never fail him again. He forced me to finish the cup and untied my hands. He lifted me, carting me to the bathroom where he set me down on the toilet, positioning himself infront of my where I imediately wrapped my lips around his cock as I have been trained to do. I whined in protest, I knew what he wanted of me, and I wanted to do it but embarasment flushed my whole body and all I could do was whine around the meat sliding against my toung.

He yanked my head back so my eyes met his and he demanded, so I relented. The piss poured out and it filled my body with such relief, I tried to focus on pleasuring him with my mouth rather than the terrible embarasment of him standing before me as a commited this most personal act but he wouldnt have that. He slipped his hand under my skirt and between my legs, cupping his hand under that hot stream and pinching softly on my clit. I moaned into his crotch, half enjoyment, half protest as I finished and he slipped his finger into his mouth leaving a slick trail across his smirking lips. He lapped it from his fingers and then forecefully pressed his face against mine, shoving his tounge deep into my mouth and I tasted my salty urine still fresh on his lips.

He rewarded me by laying me out on his chest, my snatch folded over his toung, his dick in my mouth as I deftily manuvered, pausing when the pleasure became to much and I could not keep rythm. He moaned into the folds of my lips and sucked me into soaking orgasm, he told me I had earned a good fucking and as where I wanted his cock first. As I had never taken anything more than a finger in my ass and found it more painful than pleasuring I slipped a finger between my legs to point at my pussy, but I knew something tnhat would please my master more. I slipped that finger deep into the entrance of my soaking snatch as it waved inches from his face, I could feel his deep shudder in my mouth and he gasped, watching my pleasure myself as a slurped on his crotch. Oh but my little plan backfired and he wanted that didgit in other places as well, lubing it up with his saliva he curled my finger into my asshole, adoring the sight as I violated myself.

This got him so bothered he flung me face down on the couch and pounded into my pussy untill I could no longer breath and he was almost ready to cum. He stopped to postpone his release but I knew what he would do if he didnt cum now so I rocked harder and harder against him, trying to force him to finish, pleading that he not stop, terrified. But he saw what I was doing and pulled out of me and dropped me to my knees in the floor, letting me stew in fear of what was to come as he smoked a cigarette and prepared.

He took his sweet time before ordering me to again get him hard and bending me over the couch. He oiled up my asshole and slipped a finger in, it hurt very much and I winced and moaned, but he moved slowly and curled a finger across my clit to distract me from the pain. He made sure I was well and lubed before pushing the head of his dick against my tight rose. I whined and pleaded but his silenced me with a well placed blow to my ass cheek, I whimpered softly into the cushion as he placed more pressure against me. I yelped at the sheer girth of him, his cock was so much larger than his finger and it burned painfully as the head slipped past the first ring of sphinter muscels, but once it did the pain lessened and I was able to relax my muscels even more. That is when I began to notice the completely new sensation, the completely new pleasure that was building me to orgasm. The pain helped heighten the pleasure and I begged him to fuck me harder untill it pushed me over the edge and I shivered and bucked against him as I screamed.

He looked down on me with such passion and appreciation as I caught me breath, but that turned to concern as I winced against him. The pain was returning and it was obvious to him so he slowly pulled out of me and carried me to the shower where he lovingly washed me, kissing me softly and reminding me how proud he was of me, what a good little slave I was. I in turn washed him, racing my soapy hands over his ridged dick and swollen balls, bringing him teaseingly to the edge and stopping, not wanting him to finish in my hands. He dryed me off and checked to make sure there as no pain or serious markings other than the scratches that cris cross his back, tenderly carrying me to bed and making sweet pasionate love to me untill finally he filled me with the fruits of my labor.

I curled up in his arms and he made sure that we discused what we had done, asked me questions about things I liked or wanted done more. He praised me for being such an obediant little girl and reminded me that tomorrow there would be more training, more servitude, more pain, more humiliation, more violation, and I can not wait.

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[...and then there was a gay orgy.It was a dark and stormy night...]

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