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Europe

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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North West Asia (Officially: المغرب Al-Maġrib "The West" -of the Caliphate; Greek Εὐρώπη, also known as Zooropa & Eurabia or Zoorupistan) is a loosely defined subcontinent consisting of a penis-bouquet that forms the peninsular West Coast of Asia; Russia and Turkey being its testicles, and the Mediterranean its Perineum that leads to the Ass. Unlike more clearly defined Asian Subcontinents like India, Europa's borders are only culturally, religiously or politically defined and in constant change. Conventional knowledge refers to Europe as anything west of Russia and including Britain, Spain, Italy, France, Austria, Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium and a whole bunch of frozen tundra with hot blue-eyed, blonde bitches collectively known as Scandinavia.

File:Europe 01.jpg
From Lissabon to fucking Riga.
This a map of Europe used by Harvard. Here'sthe modern version.
An accurate map listing all members.
The Euro-fag flag.
This is what people in europe eat.

Eurabia is a nest of iniquity if ever there was one. They love themselves whilst accusing their son, America, of the same thing and rant about Barack Obama's communist American Republic. They are constantly sucking each others faces off and humping like rabbits, encouraged and influenced by the French and Italian film industries. Europe has been around a lot longer than the United States and, in fact, it is responsible for its creation. The creation of the USA is generally seen as Europe's biggest failure. Europe shall forever be shamed by this.



Europa

 
What Eurabia looks like on Google Maps

"Yoorup", is a god forsaken hell hole full of death and sick fucks. Named after Europa, a minor Greek goddess of the moon cow, thousands of years ago it was civilized BY the Arab-Semitic Babylonian seed of wisdom which often involved rape and pillaging. Under Greek and Roman influence it flourished even more and all was good. These fine beginnings that started in ancient Mesopotamia ended with the fall of Rome due to greed, lust, laziness, rotting of old roads, networks social and physical ushered in the dark ages... Europe nevar, EVAR recovered. To add insult to injury some wandering Zooropans dared to prove the earth was not flat (even though this had been proved thousands of years before by the Black Egyptians) and soon discovered the Newfag World that their rebellious, bastard children would eventually call the Jewnited States of Americunts, which would eventually surpass them and piss them off on several occasions with Europe unable to do anything but complain or beg for help from the Americans WWI and WWII amirite? Today Europe is more like a 3rd world cesspool with no similarities to its glorious past.

The motherfucking Loveparade in 2001. Life was good when people where randomly fucking in the streets and even the word America wasn't directly meant as an insult. One month later however, the United States government abused the murdered of the World Trade Center, to declare war on sovereign countries in order to gain control over economically vital ressources and military bases. This war became known as 'The war on terror'. Thanks for that. We all could have gotten laid at one of those parties..

Demographics of Zooropa

 
Josef Fritzl... the man, the legend. Zooropa's darling as evidenced by this pic from his senatorial website.

For biological purposes the population of North West Asia is divided into two groups: Breeders, which make up the minority now and will make up the majority ASAP, and Fags which refers to the native population doomed to extinction. We'll dedicate the following chapter to the memory of the Native Peoples of West Asia.

To be Eurabian is to be snooty, a cheese-eater, a hun, a tea-guzzling toffee-nosed toff, probably a Muslim and definitely a dirty liberal. Also, a general aversion to showering comes in handy. European activities used to revolve around imperialism, but is now relegated to losing to its former colonies in cricket and football matches. This is because the European mocks Allah with his hermaphroditic goat fucking beliefs. Europeans are famously in love with themselves, sex, and food (or, as they call it, "cuisiné") and they practically kiss their own faces off at every given opportunity.

That said, Eurabians invented some of the greatest aspects of modern day society; Irony, LSD, and World War II. They typically like to think they invented everything in the world, but Europe was actually a shithole wasteland before the 20th Century that only managed to survive by being sailors and having gay orgies on the high seas.


The favorite pastimes of the denizens of Zooropa revolve primarily around blaming all tragedies worldwide on USA gun ownership policies and letting illegal Muslim immigrants run wild (and when all else fails, take out their frustrations on the Jews every now and then). Eurabians also like to spend their time either reading Marcel Proust or bashing in the heads of fellow football fans. Eurabians hate the USA, for reasons unknown due to the obvious failure of the USA Experiment on Europe's behalf (see Paris Hilton or Israel for further reference) or the way they fucked up the USA's self made stabilizer of the Middle East after dubya dubya.

It is predicted that by the year 2050, Eurabia will have become part of the Kingdom of Poland. Already, there are more Polish in Ireland than there are Irish, at least according to the Irish, who are generally too drunk to count. At the dawn of the Kingdomstwo of Polska, Stalin will be resurrected to rule over all of Europskirabia. Sadly enough, this can only help the Eurabian economy.

With the exception of the Poles, Irish, and Turks, Europeans have tiny birth rate and high life spans. The ranks of homos, crybabies and junkies who make up a huge population of Europe spam towns with retirees. Ask them to breed, and they will likely rant about how hard it is to find a job and to not live with their parents. (See: birthrate of Africa)

Typical European behaviors range from the laughable to the cruel. In Basque Country, young villagers hang from a live goose's neck until the poor animal expires: all in the name of tradition. Over in Greece, the island of Chios erupts in an annual fireworks war on Orthodox Easter pitting one parish in the town of Vrodandos against the other. In Belgium, they swallow live fish. In Turkey, camel wrestling is all the rage. The moronic Spanish jump in front of running bulls just for the lulz. And in the town of Malanka in Ukraine, residents dress up as Nazis and create simulated wartime checkpoints once a year to celebrate the end of World War II. The Scots, however, get hideously pissed every night and rape each other until they pass out and/or shit bricks.

It should also be noted, however, that just like there are no black people on the internet, there are no black people in Europe. Some argue that this is because negroes simply cannot afford to live in Europe, but experts hypothesize it is because Europeans actually care about ethnic purity, unlike the Jewnited States of Americunts, and want to keep darkie out.


European children like pizza, apparently.

Fags from Europe suck his cock!

Inferiority Complex

 
Americans or Europeans? YOU BE THE JUDGE. Those " european " plugs look exactly the same as american plugs. Because everyone knows American plugs use metal prongs sticking out of the socket Derp
 
Still cracking jokes? Don't fuck with the USA!


Eurabians Europeans have and maintain a vigilant inferiority complex against the Americans, as they slowly discover that:

Whenever America insults Europe however, Europe remains steady and points out that America:

How do you tell a Russian from a European?

Russian IRL political trolling of Europe for Great Justice. Remember this Russian?

By "saved you from East aggression" he means his own country's. Unlike Europeans, Russian males (and females) have balls.

History of Zooropa

 
Babylonian loli market "Get 'em while their hot (and young)!" The seed of western civilization.

With such a long and varied history, you're probably wondering "where can you possibly start?". Truth be told, nothing worthy of noting occurred in Europe after the Renaissance.

Once there were a bunch of nations from the area that is now Iraq and Iran (often referred to as Sandniggers by Euro-trash and americunts everyone). The people of this area invented the foundations of everything we consider civilization today. These Arab-Semites gave us human rights, law, mathematics, written language, loli, incest and marriage to young girls. Meanwhile Europe was still a bunch of backwards tribal societies with large cesspits for toilets. These early n00bz hunted and gathered whilst the Persians and Arabs did Battletoads and theoretical physics. The civilization gradually and graciously spread its knowledge to the more western countries, through trade and such, who pondered over poetry and maps of the heavens. Then came the Greek city states with their empires and great thinkers which lead to the Romans who civilized the rest of the still barbarian Europe with Latin.

 
Romans destroying JerUSAlem "MARS EXULTI!"

As a few thousand years of reasonably destructive wars, sex, and genocides, civilization took its course, Romans grew weary and could not be bothered fighting any more and gave their swords to their slaves to fight for them. Whilst all this was happening, the Christians slowly built in numbers, insidiously inserting their beliefs into the corridors of power by beguiling the Emperors wives with Christ who would then proceed to ask Maximus:

  • Prima: Maximus, Christ was a great man; please stop persecuting the Xtians, they only want to help. *she said as she suggestively rubbed his buttocks*
  • Secunda: Bah! But they are causing all sorts of troub...wait, its popular right? Maybe I can use it to gain EVEN MORE power over the people.
  • Prima: Yes dear! Christ can help everyone!
  • Secunda: Mmrpf...whatever, make me a sammitch.

Thus this new religion came in and destroyed everything primitive the Romans had known and loved for years and forcefuly converted their way to heaven. Meanwhile the Pagan Western Roman empire collapsed under reinforced apathy and pacifism which their slaves soon took advantage of. All this led to the Dark ages, pretty much what we have now. Except their was one more awesome thing that happened before Zooropa truly became shit, the which came from the Christian Eastern Roman Empire known as the Renaissance.

In more modern times the European empires still remembered the one awesome thing that the Babylonian Semites had taught them, loli; and in brothels all over Europe you could still go in and ask for the barkeeps eleven year old daughters tight pink arse and get it WITH FREEBIES! Alas, this one great throwback to our glorious past has gone, and now all we have is terror, pencil pusher politicians and no fucking loli.

From around the 19th century a new even more insidious scourge was beginning to make its presence felt again in Europe after years of hiding; the Zionist Jew, an ultra-nationalist, money and power greedy beast that would stop at nothing to ruin your lives! Forevar. They whispered in dark corners and made deals and ruined competitors until they owned banks and Vatican gold stolen during the Crusades et cetera. They run Zooropa nao (and the aptly name Jewnited States unfortunately too) and its close to closing taem...

Currently Europe hasn't been up to anything important, however it's leaders have been utilizing it's media and educational systems to spew anti-American, pro-European propaganda. France, Italy, and Germany in particular are pushing to give the EU more power in the hopes of transforming Europe into a new Roman Empire, which if successful will hopefully make up for all the lameass faggotry that modern Europe is known for, because the Romans were badass.

 
A lesson in how to deal with Jews by the Egyptians, like the Babylonian Captivity but better.

Politics of Zooropa

 
Zooropans are to attempt to build their new Emperor using bits of Constantine and the soul of pedobear.

All forms of government have been tried and tested by the nations of Zooropa since the days of Hammurabi to the modern nao and theorized by countless scholars through the æons. The preferred method, by those in charge, is a monarchy; where an imperial family rules with their favourites through incest so the line remains "unsullied" and the rest of the people are left to their devices, tied to the fields, having sex, vomiting then sex again; throwing all the ancient wisdom out the window and becoming nothing more than a nest of vipers run by a gaggle of filth.

 
A typical Eurocunt government session, here they debate child pronographies with a representative from a local primary school.

There is also a sad illusion of "Democracy" (Greek δημοκρατία, lit. "rule by the people) in the Zoo, indeed the rest of the western world also. An invisible, omniscient terror threat is omnipresent and the people of Zooropa have to be kept safe from this menace which involves more of your precious freedomz being taken away, the right to fap; the right to call up your local Indian restaurant and call a massive tandoori takeaway for the "office party" at the police station down the road, the right to hunt loli; the right to hookers and blow, the latter of which was invented in Europe, yet the governments continue to butt-rape their own people...why I hear you cry.

 
Zooropa invented ecstasy too!

The Zionist Jew menace is ravaging politics in Zooropa which it controls through the Illuminati, cable TV sports channels and the rights listed above funnily enough. Many brave ministers and senators in the Zoo are beginning to think about universal suffrage (which is the right of everyone to vote) in a new way, is not the suffrage of all men the cause of this situation? Populist politicians pandering to the public's every whim and talking crap (which euro-fags are good at) whilst taking genuine freedoms away every day? Plans are in place to take the right of everyone to vote away soon as a last ditch effort to save the Zoo; it is expected that most people wont give a shit about this, as their too busy trying to eat their own faces and make French sex films that make no sense, but they will be happy all the same.

Things Zooropeans don't need because they are more refined and sophisticated

Zoorepean Cars

 
A relaxing Sunday drive in a European car.

All European cars are made by slave labor in Poland or the the Czech Republic in factories built by the Nazis. European cars are considered high-quality if they can travel to the mechanic under their own power without requiring the use of a tow truck. European cars are typically the size of a washing machine and cost US$60,000 or more.

The Zooropean Anthem

 
Official trumpeter d'anthéme
 
Don't anger europe or else!
File:Euraaba 3.jpg
Europeans live in their own little delusional world

Of course, Europe being the uncreative faceless corporate shithole it is, it just decided to steal "Ode to Joy" and make it it's anthem.

The OFFICAL national anthem lyrics are as follows, to the tune of Ode to Joy

(What do you want?)
(What do you want?)
Zooropa...vorsprung durch technik
Zooropa...be all that you can be
Be a winner
Eat to get slimmer
Zooropa...a bluer kind of white
Zooropa...it could be yours tonight
We're mild and green
And squeaky clean
Zooropa...better by design
Zooropa...fly the friendly skies
Through appliance of science
We've got that ring of confidence
And I have no compass
And I have no map
And I have no reasons
No reasons to get back
And I have no religion
And I don't know what's what
And I don't know the limit
The limit of what we've got
Don't worry baby, it'll be alright
You got the right shoes
To get you through the night
It's cold outside, but brightly lit
Skip the subway
Let's go to the overground
Get your head out of the mud baby
Put flowers in the mud baby
Overground
No particular place names
No particular song
I've been hiding
What am I hiding from
Don't worry baby, it's gonna be alright
Uncertainty can be a guiding light
I hear voices, ridiculous voices
Out in the slipstream
Let's go, let's go overground
Take your head out of the mud baby
She's gonna dream up
The world she wants to live in
She's gonna dream out loud
She's gonna dream out loud
Dream out loud

Peace Attack

The Great Anti Hate

Zooropean Countries

In order of racial superiority

Ready for Final Solution 2.0

SNCA

 
The Treaty of Westphalia (above) is considered the birth of formal International Relations

Trolling Europeans

If you're going to troll Europeans, realize first that Europeans are widely known as Jew. If you need more proof of this fact, refer to the article about America, or go to Jewtube and find videos that "bash" our glorious people's republic. Europeans seem to have a complete inability to recognize obvious trolls or copypasta, thus, it is recommended that only beginner trolls do it. Here are some easy ways to ensure a constant stream of lulz:

  • Inform them that however "less" intelligent, sophisticated, progressive, etc. Europeans claim Americans are, Americans have a far more competent private sector (in that American workers don't receive 2 years of unemployment benefits, work longer hours, and receive less vacation), don't smell from a lack of showering, and still get along better with others not of our own race than Europeans ever did.
  • Insinuate that they are into scat sex.
  • Mention how every single country in Europe has defaulted on their public debt, while the U.S., in its 230 years of existence, has never defaulted once.
  • Tell them that Americans are generally more attractive than they are.
  • Ask them about Spain's 19 percent unemployment rate.
  • MENTION HOW THE ISRAEL-PALESTINE CONFLICT WAS CREATED BY EUROPEANS(Euro-Nazis hate everyone Jews, Gypsies, Chinese, Africans, Arabs)BECAUSE THEY FORCED THE JEWS TO MOVE TO OUT OF EUROPE AND INTO THE HEART OF MUSLIM HOLY LANDS.
  • Mention how Capitalism started in The Netherlands in Europe and eventually spread to England, France, and Germany which formed successful empires in the past as opposed to the failed socialist economies of today.
  • Brag about how much money you make despite your "inferior" education system.
  • Count GLORIOUS NATION Turkey as a part of Europe. (if you want to troll france or germany, ineffective with the rest)
  • Act more patriotic than you actually are.
  • Point out how Eastern Europeans are more religious and can beat the shit out of Western Europeans for epic lulz.
  • Make fun of Europe's tolerance for Islam.
  • Talk about how easy Europeans are to troll.
  • Point out how many Europeans move to Canada, America, and Australia not the other way round.
  • Point out how Turks and Russians aka Tartars are the only "Europeans" that have balls.
  • Mention how the Egyptian Niggers forged a civilization while Euro-trash barbarians were running around naked in the forest.
  • Claim Americans invented anything that wasn't actually invented by Americans (this works especially on Britfags who will immediately jump over themselves to correct you while making posh-sounding "burns" about Americans).
  • Discredit any innovations or inventions by Europeans of the past because they were created by Greek polytheists like Euclid, Christians like Isaac Newton, Galileo and Islamic innovators like Al-Khwarizm. Present day Western Europeans are Atheists who are far to sophisticated to consider the creativity of "religious nuts".
  • Claim to be Irish and school them in history about how many Irish escaped to America because of the potato famine so you claiming to be Irish is not that far-fetched.
  • Point out how most Neo-Nazis aren't even German they are usually American, British, and Russian wannabe's. Mention this and they'll throw out a few noob words in German that they've heard of such as Über or whatever they can pick up from Rammestein.
  • Mention how many Europeans who fled from primitive Europe formed successful economies unlike the idiots who stayed behind mention Australia, Canada, Brazil, South Africa etc.
  • Mention the freedom and democracy you have while the EU ignores referendums and Russia executes dissenters.
  • Call "football" "soccer". Point out that the English called it soccer first.
  • Change the names of food products that are named after European countries (e.g. "Freedom Fries", "Freedom Riesling", "GOP alla Marsala", etc)
  • Point out their primitive cities riddled with castles and 11th century architecture( which they constantly refurbish and rarely construct anything new).
  • Point out their failing economy and how China overtakes them.
  • Free Ireland from British tyranny! Support the IRA!
  • Free Tatarstan from Russian despots!
  • Mention the Russian tartar genocide!
  • Mention the Katyn Massacre.
  • Kosovo belongs to Albania.
  • Ukraine has more whites than Russia.
  • Vikings practiced homosexuality works perfectly among Western/Eastern European heavy metal fans.
  • Tell them how Europe is washed up and the days of glorious empires are over and how Oriental Asia(Mongol Invasions) and the Islamic(Jihads) will eventually annihilate them.
  • Troll them about their history how most Northern and Western Europeans were mostly barbarians and how the Eastern Europeans and Arab Semites were civilized in the past.
  • Point out how Germany bitch slapped England and France into the two "strongest" powers in Europe into submission.
  • Mention how the Swedes and Norwegians are a shame to their warrior ancestors as they sat back and let Finland fight Russia alone.
  • Mention how the Russians begged NATO to stop as Serbia was repeatedly bombed.
  • Mention how America and Israel will defeat Iran and Russia.
  • Mention how Europeans aka whites are responsible for over 100 million deaths(not making this up) due to World Wars, Communism,Genocides, and Racism.
  • Say you love George W. Bush. (Note: This should only be done as a last resort.) DONT DO THIS IT WILL, AT WORST CASE KILL YOU!
  • Call the British pussies for having gun control and the Germans and the Swiss heroes for actually allowing freedom to own guns.
  • Mention Europe double standard on America attacking Iraq and the Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan.
  • Praise Dagestan's terrorist attacks on Russia.
  • Since Western Europeans believe America provided them no help during WWI and WWII. Tell them that America will not assist Western Europe in anyway during the nuclear orgy of WWIII and they can face Russia and China alone.
  • Remind them that being able to say "hello" in 7 different languages isn't the same as being able to fluently speak 7 different languages.
  • Whenever you've pinned a European to a corner they'll always mention the glorious history of Europe and how insignificant you are. The truth is past Europeans were nothing like the Europeans of today past Europeans were religious, made advances in science, war-mongering, brave and weren't corrupt pussies. The only thing today's weak europeans can do is run back to their past glories to cover up present failures : P
  • Here's an easy target. Shitloads of Eurofags love The Exploited, especially Britfags, whom of which, are the easiest to troll. Even a retard could troll this video, which means it's perfect for you.

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Gallery

Europe on YewTube

Apparently staged 'pie-gags' are still humorous in certain parts of Yurop.

Staged Pie In Face


See Also

Plan B

External Links


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