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Wicked (Movie)
Wicked is yet another adaptation of the Wizard of Oz, as if cinema really needed another Wizard of Oz fanfiction approved for the big screen— and get this; it's a musical. Well if this movie is so forgettable, then why does it even warrant an ED article? Most of the controversies surrounding this film have not to do with the film itself perse, but with its subsequent marketing mishaps, its dykish fanbase and the bald chocolate negress who leads the role as a duel protagonist and thinks this movie was supposed to be about her and not the character she was playing.
Wicked.com
As with all big-shot movies that come out, so does a line of merchandise and toys along side it to scrub any last monetary value it can from its consumerist fanbase. Whoever was designing the boxes for these Wicked barbie dolls clearly fucked up because they accidentally linked their website as Wicked.com (a porn site) instead of Wickedmovie.com.
—Mattel themselves |
Behind the Scenes
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They must be watching 2 Girls 1 Cup to prepare for the bloopers. -
Tastes like an all female orgy under the sea! -
Filming something for the movie's infamous porn site? -
The back of her head must smell like millions of shrimps at a Diddy Party. -
Look! Our lesbian affair scared muh girlfriend!
Because Ariana was so busy having sex with Ethan after stealing him from his high school sweetheart after using her sexually provocative magic to make his shriveled up dick dance all the way to her ridiculously hungry cum rag of a coochie, the producers of the movie had to hire SEVENTEEN actresses that volunteered for their whorehouse of a filming studio to serve as a stunt double in between the scenes of filming and Ariana ravaging the shit out of Ethan's balls in bed. Oh, it looks like Ethan wasn't the only man Ariana casted her hypersexual spell on. That other man was...
Drama Llamas
Llama Number One
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Cynthia Erivo, the self-absorbed actress behind Elphaba, the Wicked Witch, got offended because one of her fans made fanart for her. By shadowing out her eyes on the original movie poster, Cynthia saw this as trying to "erase" her and she decided to go full bitch mode over it. Additionally, she was equally offended by an AI generated video of her character having a sissy fight with the pink bitch and this talentless tartlet named Charli XCX wearing greenface while promoting a single she did with the very woman Negrivo had one hell of a crush on. Her drama-whoring did nothing to stop the trolls however, and in fact garnered their attention so that more memes and shoops would ultimately be made. It got to a point where she was making burner accounts to fight with the people criticizing her as if she's some cringeworthy kid who specializes in the infamous "Stop Disliking My Videos" videos. Since Elphaba and Glinda are obvious dykes, the "Is your pussy green?" quotes eventually became a thing too.
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Rule 63'd
Llamas Number Two and Three
Ariana Grande-Putana is a promiscuous whore who lured ugly soulless ginger Ethan Slater away from his high school sweetheart. After years of acting nigga-ly to gain attention from the black community, she decided to wash out every ounce of melanin within her for the role of the other Dyke of Oz, Glinda the "Good" Witch who is actually a stuck up bitch both in the movie and in real life. Because of how much Ariana battled through the smell of fish after a dozen rounds of group sex just to give her a kiss on the cheek like the queerbaiting puta grande she is, Cynthia thought the two other bitches who could have been Glinda didn't do good enough in terms of making her flick the bean better than her current girlfriend does during a mutual bean-flicking session. Because of her simping for the very singer who really likes to sing about being fucked until her pussy starts to hurt 24/7, those losers who like to feast on their genital fluids as they watch two women fall in love with each other started shipping the two actresses behind the Dykes of Oz in real life to a point where Ariana tried to beat the sapphic allegations (and failed miserably).
And she has no shame about stealing stupid, vulnerable men from other women!
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Yup! He really left his wife for overhyped pussy
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She pulled a Michael Jackson just for a role! -
Invested in your character's underwear? WTF? -
Is this why Ariana doesn't like to call herself bisexual? -
The Legend of Ethan: Leaving My Wife for a Whore -
Thank goodness Frankie likes it up the ass. -
Ariana's ex sister in law calling her slutty ass out -
Typical Ethan-cel
Ethan Slater was previously known for portraying the human version of SpongeBob Squarepants in a Broadway musical dedicated to the series. He had a seemingly luxurious life with a psychologist for a wife whom he was dating since college after meeting in high school. Despite all his cast mates in the SpongeBob Broadway calling his former wife a "cunt", he still loved her regardless. All that changed when he came on set of Wicked, when he was stupid enough to fall under Ariana's hypersexual spell that lured his shrimpy little dick to battle through the fishy odor of Ariana's endlessly hungry cumdumpster, leading to the two newly formed lovebirds to divorce from their respective spouses. A month after the movie released, the very woman whom Ethan left in favor of Ariana Grande's overused coochie released an essay detailing how depressed she is with the promotion of a movie where her high school sweetheart left her for a hypersexual whore. Of course, even as Ethan expected Ariana's fandom full of horny faggots and deranged jailbait to be nice to him because he left his wife to be with some whore even filthier under the covers, everyone, even Ariana's most insufferable fans out there, disapproved of how Ethancel left his wife all alone to raise their child. Time can only tell when Ariana gets sick of ugly Ethan's small dick and moves onto the dick of another married man.
Llama Number Four
Bowen Yang is a talentless, chinky faggot who blathers nonstop about how much he loves buttsecks to a point where he thinks it's "puritanical" and "unqueer" for a woman to get upset over her high school sweetheart cheating on her because he can't stop dreaming about dicks up his hairy, smelly, shit crusted anus. Ariana is probably the only woman Bowen will kiss the ass of like many gay men would do because they're pretty much hypersexual women stuck inside the body of a man because she "helped" him get a meaningless role in the movie despite him rejecting her pussy in favor of endless dick. There is, however, a high chance that he was butt-fucking Ethan's look-a-like, Frankie, until he had trouble shitting due to the excruciating pain in his ass every night. So maybe he wants to stay on Frankie's good side to keep on getting a fresh serving of cum up his butt.
—The unfunny faggot failing to accept reality | ||
Turns out Bowen was also sticking his finger up his cum-ridden ass each time Ethan and fellow closeted bisexual homosexual, Johnathan Bailey, were changing clothes between scenes because he wanted so badly for them to thrust their dicks up his ass to the point where his poop will be 100% covered in sweet, sweet semen. Bowen claimed that he couldn't think of a more platonic straight guy-gay guy friendship than whatever he had with Ethan because he was always fucking himself both front and back at the thought of actually dating the ugly ginger who scares blind people with his face alone, even calling him a life preserver despite strongly disliking the idea of making contact with all kinds of vagina out there (including Ariana's, surprisingly). Who knows, maybe he was also pulling down his pants, rubbing his teeny peeny all over Ethan behind Ariana's back with every chance he got!
— Bowen on a podcast with Trisha Paytas, simping for men that aren't going to fuck him | ||
Cringey Ass Interviews
— Paul Mescal of Gladiator II | ||
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How to drive your fans away: Wicked Edition
Resorting to AI Slop
Then, in August 2025, Wicked's marketing team decided to sneak AI into their posters and try to cover it up as much as they could, but failed miserably. Of course people were NOT happy about that. Especially with how Negrivo threw a big bitch tantrum over the AI videos of her and La Puta Grande fighting. This all lead to people starting boycotts along with some little kids and fellow SJW snowflakes sending a bunch of anonymous messages to everyone they could, calling everyone who enjoyed the film despite being against AI hypocrites, cancelling the Wicked fans who still liked the movie the same way they all cancel people who look up to The Donald.
Flash forward to Halloween of that same year, Wicked's marketing decided to double the fuck down by using AI on pictures of random people. Of course, the next week, Jon Chu had to lie his ass off on how "scared" he is of artificial intelligence being used in a way that everyone (except some people) condemn for the sake of saving the movie's reputation. It later lead to speculations that the actual film used AI art.
Catering to Israel
Literally two days prior to the infamous salon tool released on their site, Wicked managed to piss off all the "FreePalestine" people just by promoting Wicked: One Wonderful Night in Israel while Israel is actively slaughtering Palestenians as if they were working in a butcher house.
Some users have rallied for a boycott, others demanded that the screening be scrapped entirely. NBC and Universal decided to ignore their cancelling of their studio and proceeded to tout the special as a delightful blend of music, film clips, and star performances, insisting it’s not a political statement.
Fanbase
Wicked fangirls are a bunch of obnoxious queers who obsess over a mediocre movie and like making it worse by throwing in a dash of shipping culture. Their primary pastime is appearing at movie theaters to sing along with their ratched voices to songs in the movie and recording scenes from it on their iphones, of course oblivious to the fact they are committing piracy (yet again, not that piracy is real theft anyways. Charging people to view that shitty movie definitely is theft, however. If for some reason you actually wanted to watch this movie, don't go looking around for it on ShitTok; just go to 123movies and spare your ears from the screeching and instead go deaf from the unbearable musical scores.) If I didn't mention already, Wicked fangirls are massive dykes who also obsess over the supposed subtext behind Elphaba and Glinda's implied lesbianism; and if they're not fangirls then they're male lesbian-fetishists. A sequel to the movie called Wicked: For Good was announced and it is rumored to dive deeper into the lesbian aspects of Elphaba and Glinda's life; maybe even featuring a gay kiss. If true, it is expected that the collective reverberation of their squeeing will cause an earthquake so massive that fundamentalists will mistake it for the biblical apocalypse. The lesbian fetishism got so out of hand that even the bitch who said Glinda might be "a little bit in the closet" had to reassure people that she and the green-skinned bitch were not dating in real life.
See Also
External Links
- Wicked.com - Their official website.
- Read fanfictions about a fanfiction
- Someone busting Ariana for cheating on her now ex husband
Wicked (Movie) is part of the following series:
