Literature

Literature is serious business.

Literature, from the ancient Latin littera meaning: "Great. Now we have a way to keep accurate tax records." While literature can technically be used to denote any written work, prose, poetry, or shit band lyrics, it usually refers to writing of lasting quality that holds artistic merit. This excludes any string of words you will encounter scrawled on the internet, save for scraps of Shakespeare and Sylvia Plath that goths and 16-year-old girls have pasted in their cutting journals.

Critiquing Literary Critiques

• Classic Poetry For Our Time
  • "You wouldn't know literature if it bit you on the ass and gave you rabies. --tkatchev
• The Morning News: Lone Star Statements (from Amazon reviews)
  • "A Clockwork Orange (1963) Author: Anthony Burgess “In the first 20 pages, Alex and his lackies beat a guy senseless and rob him; they steal a car and trash it, they get into a vicious gang fight; they attack a couple at their home, destroy the husband’s life work (his book, A Clockwork Orange), beat him and his wife senseless, and rape the wife. This really ticked me off.”
• Beauty Bash Message Board
  • "OMG! MURASAKI IS SUCH A FUCKING PRETENTIOUS BITCHH! SHE SHOULD DIE! SHE THINKS SHE KNOWS DUMB STUFF LIKE ABOUT BOOKS AND SHIT AND ABOUT WHO WROTE THE - FIRST NOVEL SHE's SO LAME, JANE AUSTEN WROTE THE FIRST NOVEL IDIOTIC BITCH GET RAPED AND DIE!!!" --Anon
• AutoAdmit "The most prestigious college admissions discussion board in the world."
  • "HAHA you know the Magic cards. And you don't know literature. HAHA you are a dumbass." -- El Greco the Elite
• A Modest Proprsal
  • "Not bad, for a potato loving dwarf." -- Reader's Digest

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"'You can't write literature,' Tiddle said.
'You don't know literature.'

Something clicked. 'You know,' I said,
'you may be right.'

But Tiddle was rolling. 'So I flame morons
like you who would dumb us down.'"

 --Publish or Perish

See Also

• Books
• Chekhov's Gun
• Edgar Allen Poe
• Ayn Rand
• Anne Rice and Rice out
• Harry Potter
• Lolita
• Necronomicon
• Charles Bukowski
• Poetry
• United Kingdom