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Revision as of 09:22, 12 May 2011

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This article is a keg of shit that has been fermenting so long it's just about ready to explode. It is an abhorrence and blasphemy of Encyclopedia Dramatica's good name.

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Advertising is the promotion of goods and services, usually paid for by the providers of said stuff. If Jew Gold is the root of all evil, then advertising is the fertiliser. Advertising is also the #1 product of America. In fact, in the age of free trade and everything Made in China, advertising is about the only thing that America actually makes any more. Accordingly, advertising is the de-facto 'gasoline' that drives the whole US economy and, in turn, that of the whole world. If consumers -the beasts of burden upon which capitalism is born are deprived of information as to the wealth of crap available to make them truly happy and successful in life, then they will not know what to spend their hard earned, disposable income on and -in turn- deprive businessmen of obscene wealth.

Advertising also owns the Internets; the oil that lubes the tubes. Contrary to popular belief, the Internet is not free and does not run on fairy dust. For example, if you have a popular, growing site that increasingly demands additional and larger tubes to deliver the abundance of product for a continually growing audience -along with fully functional pumps and storage tanks for all the Internets- but can't find jews willing to part with their precious for whatever reason, the site owners will be hard pressed to keep on providing finely crafted infotainment (such as lulz, drama and happenings) out of their own pockets and the goodness of their heart. If the demand, then, overwhelms the supply, the tubes will start to back-up and eventually burst and necessitate the cessation of services unless alternative funding can be found.

Advertising is a method where a certain product or series of products are brought to the masses via various medias. i.e: Radio, TV, Street adds and the colorful shit that is covering the shirt of your favourite soccer player.

The basic idea of advertising itself isn't a bad one and there is nothing wrong in advertising your product to the possible buyers, how else would they know about your wonderful products, such as "easy toothbrush" and "Hawaii chair" (mentioned items can be found from this link).


Abusing Advertisement

In need to of moar monies and Jew Gold, the marketing men and Women have developed various techniques to achieve said valuables, such as false advertisiment and junkmail. With these two great methods, the sales have skyrocketed and market now controls the goverments of the world.


By using this superior marketing technique, the salesman and big corporate bosses have build great bussiness imperiums. This comes in 3 diffirent levels, depending on how bad the product itself is, since good products don't need such methods.

Level 1: Deceiving advertisement

You jelly?

This is the least abusive method, which is used to make the product at hand to appear better than it actually is by using various backgrounds and lighting methods, or using sexy females to advertise the product.

For example, fast food restaurants use this level one method to sell their food to the hungry masses.

Level 2: Misleading advertisements

This is a very common method in the marketing business, where the company misleads the consumer with seducing images that makes the average male in you want to explode in their pants upon seeing the advertisement.

Misleading images can range from hot women wanting in your pants, before and after pictures of your dick, or you successfully trolling 4chan with 3 easy steps.




Advertisements follow the similar formula:

  1. Have a well-known fop become your company's mascot
  2. Advertise on any popular fantard site
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!


Level 3: Outright lying about your shit

Typical online advertisement only you would fall for
Michael Jackson black to white pills, they really work!

The most desperate and effective method of advertisement, usually used via junkmail and by the street peddlers in third world countries.






See Also

Advertising is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand
[RecessionInflation]
£€ Advertising is a part of a series on Money
Companies

AdFlyAdobeAmazonAppleAT&TBDICBellBitcoinBurger KingCelestial ToystoreComcastCostcoDisneyDuckDuckGoeBayEthereumFox NewsGNWTGoogleHappy Madison ProductionsIBMIKEAMicrosoftMcDonald'sMTVNew Media RockstarsNintendoNovellOracle CorporationPatreonPayPalSonySun MicrosystemsT-MobileVerizonViacomWal-MartWikiaYahooYouTube

People

Bernie MadoffBill GatesChad HurleyGregory KohsHal TurnerJewsJimbo WalesKlaus SchwabL. Ron JeremyLarry SangerLyor CohenMario LaudicinaMartin ShkreliSteve ChenSteve Jobs

Ideology / Politics

AusterityBailout PlanCapitalismCommunismGlobalisationGovernmentGun controlHealth Care RageIceslaveJudaismKarl MarxObamacareRon PaulAyn RandRandroidSocialistRonald ReaganWelfareZeitgeist MovementZeitgeist - The Movie

Selling

AdvertisingBitcoinBriberyExtreme AdvertisingBilly MaysPorn AdvertisementsShamwowSpamSubservient ChickenWinnebago ManGeorge Zimmer

Topics

419 Nigerian Email ScamsThe Dot.Com BubbleEconomistEconomyForeign GirlfriendInternet moneyJew GoldMoneyNFTsPoorProfitRape dollarsScientologyToilet Paper HoardingUnlimited disposable income