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Newbie: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:nubs.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: the blood of n00bs can be used as a powerful degreaser for [[Ted_Stevens|internet tubes]].]] | [[Image:nubs.jpg|thumb|Fun fact: the blood of n00bs can be used as a powerful degreaser for [[Ted_Stevens|internet tubes]].]] | ||
'''Newbies (newbs, n3wb5, noobz, n00bs, n00bzors)''' are those, whose [[Loser|lack of capacity for conversation, wit and appropriate behavior in a group setting]] [[IRL]] is amplified when [[OL]], a setting where they feel [[anonymous|liberated]] and therefore have [[Psychopath|no sense of liability]]. They create [[Rage|frustrating]] situations for those they come in contact with. Contrary to the moniker a person can be OL for many, many years and remain quite [[Retarded|n00bish]]. | '''Newbies (newbs, n3wb5, noobz, n00bs, n00bzors, or know as the chronic disease 'noobism')''' are those, whose [[Loser|lack of capacity for conversation, wit and appropriate behavior in a group setting]] [[IRL]] is amplified when [[OL]], a setting where they feel [[anonymous|liberated]] and therefore have [[Psychopath|no sense of liability]]. They create [[Rage|frustrating]] situations for those they come in contact with. Contrary to the moniker a person can be OL for many, many years and remain quite [[Retarded|n00bish]]. | ||
== Characteristics == | == Characteristics == | ||
Revision as of 21:24, 18 August 2011
Newbies (newbs, n3wb5, noobz, n00bs, n00bzors, or know as the chronic disease 'noobism') are those, whose lack of capacity for conversation, wit and appropriate behavior in a group setting IRL is amplified when OL, a setting where they feel liberated and therefore have no sense of liability. They create frustrating situations for those they come in contact with. Contrary to the moniker a person can be OL for many, many years and remain quite n00bish.
Characteristics
Newbies are epitomized by their lack of knowledge, seemingly unfathomable stupidity and ignorance towards the rules and standards of etiquette. They are also known for their excessive use of 1337 because it's likely that the internet is the first time in their lives they've been required to use significant reading skills.
Newbies are susceptible to malware, viruses/trojans and internet scams, because they are not only naive but also have personality faults. Lazy, lascivious, lecherous, greedy, unwilling to read anything or research their new playground, they click eagerly on anything that excites their Id. After a few thousand pop-ups and experiencing rapid deterioration of computer performance, they belatedly become afraid that their PC is filled with some pretty nasty shit. If they see a warning in front of them that says their computer is infected, they erroneously click the shit out of it, hoping for even a meager chance of wiping the slate clean. The newb will then have to explain to his father or boss why Busty XXX Whores want to perform for him. Lulz.
Early Newbs
The first newb was a member of the British Parliament who asked Charles Babbage, "Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?" To which Mr. Babbage replied; "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." Which is ancient British for "Facepalm". Newbs therefore inspired the first computer acronym, GIGO.
Difference between Noob and Newb
There is no difference, anyone who says otherwise is spreading cancer
Halp me ED! I'm a n00b!
- Sign up for a user account and read the message you get from MysteryBot. It'll be in the "mytalk" link in the upper right hand corner of every page on ED. Read all the stuff in there and leave it in your talk page so you can read it again. RTFM
- Lurk.
- Lurk moar; it can't hurt.
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See Also
- Internet Tough Guy
- Children
419 Nigerian Email ScamsI go chop your grandmotha life savings.. We nah see who de be da noob.
| Newbie is part of a series on Language & Communication | |
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Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry •
The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
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