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MILF: Difference between revisions
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[[Image: | [[Image:Big Tit Milf.jpg|thumb|200px|Fake large tits are fake.]] | ||
'''MILF''' ('''M'''other '''I''''d '''L'''ike to '''F'''uck) is a term popularized by [[Lie|quality American teen movies]]. By its very nature, the phrase '''MILF''' implies "older" or more "[[mature]]" women. Taken literally it can include [[teen mothers]], 20somethings, 30somethings, and [[grandmothers]]. Typically it means a 35+ year old woman with large, (generally) fake breasts and lips built for [[blowjob|beejay duty]]. '''BEWARE:''' Woman older than 45 years old may suffer [[PMS|Mad Cow Disease]]. | '''MILF''' ('''M'''other '''I''''d '''L'''ike to '''F'''uck) is a term popularized by [[Lie|quality American teen movies]]. By its very nature, the phrase '''MILF''' implies "older" or more "[[mature]]" women. Taken literally it can include [[teen mothers]], 20somethings, 30somethings, and [[grandmothers]]. Typically it means a 35+ year old woman with large, (generally) fake breasts and lips built for [[blowjob|beejay duty]]. '''BEWARE:''' Woman older than 45 years old may suffer [[PMS|Mad Cow Disease]]. The only requirements are that they are [[hot]] and a mother. [[Godwin's Law|Godwin's M.I.L.F. Law]] states that: | ||
The only requirements are that they are [[hot]] and a mother. [[Godwin's Law|Godwin's M.I.L.F. Law]] states that: | |||
{{quote|As a MILF gets older, the probability of her taking it [[in the ass]] on the first date approaches 100%.}} | {{quote|As a MILF gets older, the probability of her taking it [[in the ass]] on the first date approaches 100%.}} | ||
==Dating a MILF== | ==Dating a MILF== | ||
From time to time, you may get tired of the bullshitting and games of younger women that still have hopes and dreams that a [[unrealistic_expectations|rich man with an amazing six pack will sweep them off their feet and fuck them in the ass with a diamond dildo]]. (Editor's Note: This is the dream of all women, including the so-called "career driven" women) You are ready for the quiet desperation of a late thirty-something woman with fat tits and a loose vag that doesn't chafe your cock. In this case, you should totally try dating a MILF. As a young man, you will get away with plenty of things that a younger and prettier woman would totally throw your ass out for. They have no hang ups about giving head, and are more than likely to give you [[Jam It In|access]] to [[Dat Ass|their ass]]. | From time to time, you may get tired of the bullshitting and games of younger women that still have hopes and dreams that a [[unrealistic_expectations|rich man with an amazing six pack will sweep them off their feet and fuck them in the ass with a diamond dildo]]. (Editor's Note: This is the dream of all women, including the so-called "career driven" women) You are ready for the quiet desperation of a late thirty-something woman with fat tits and a loose vag that doesn't chafe your cock. In this case, you should totally try dating a MILF. As a young man, you will get away with plenty of things that a younger and prettier woman would totally throw your ass out for. They have no hang ups about giving head, and are more than likely to give you [[Jam It In|access]] to [[Dat Ass|their ass]]. | ||
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===Breaking Up With a MILF=== | ===Breaking Up With a MILF=== | ||
After you get bored of nailing MILF assholes and jumping every time her kid knocks on the door, you may realize that most [[truth|MILFs are just as crazy and hysterical as all other women]], plus they have kids you have to worry about and make nice with, even though they hate your guts. And you can only derive satisfaction from "[[win|Hey kid, I'm fucking your mommy!]]" so many times. At this point, it is time to shit in her fridge, steal her kid's [[iPod]], and leave without so much as a note. MILFs take a break up just about as well as any other woman, which means they go into hyper-psycho-passive-aggressive [[bitch]] mode. A crafty MILF will use her children to leave tragic pleading messages on your [[phone]], even though they are totally grateful you are gone. As MILFs are older women, often with disposable incomes, expect a more professional stalking, perhaps even with a car with tinted windows. | After you get bored of nailing MILF assholes and jumping every time her kid knocks on the door, you may realize that most [[truth|MILFs are just as crazy and hysterical as all other women]], plus they have kids you have to worry about and make nice with, even though they hate your guts. And you can only derive satisfaction from "[[win|Hey kid, I'm fucking your mommy!]]" so many times. At this point, it is time to shit in her fridge, steal her kid's [[iPod]], and leave without so much as a note. MILFs take a break up just about as well as any other woman, which means they go into hyper-psycho-passive-aggressive [[bitch]] mode. A crafty MILF will use her children to leave tragic pleading messages on your [[phone]], even though they are totally grateful you are gone. As MILFs are older women, often with disposable incomes, expect a more professional stalking, perhaps even with a car with tinted windows. | ||
==MILF Porn== | ==MILF Porn== | ||
A [[CP|common fetish]] covered in pornography is MILF or "mature" sex. These women universally posess gigantic fake tits and can go from [[Ann Coulter|mildly hot]] to [[pixelbee|horrifying drippy old mummies]]. All of the MILF porn scenarios are two parts age regression and two parts incest fantasy. Mostly they involve some MILF fucking her "son's" friend, or a dude getting "caught" peeking in at a changing woman. Inevitably, the [[oxymoron|hot intergenerational sex]] must be cut short, because her husband is [[I Came|coming]] home. Anyone who has ever derived ANY arousal from MILF porn has a deep seated desire to make babies with their own mother. They are a sick fuck and should be accordingly shunned and ridiculed. | |||
A [[CP|common fetish]] covered in pornography is MILF or "mature" sex. These women universally posess gigantic fake tits and can go from [[Ann Coulter|mildly hot]] to [[pixelbee|horrifying drippy old mummies]]. All of the MILF porn scenarios are two parts age regression and two parts incest fantasy. Mostly they involve some MILF fucking her "son's" friend, or a dude getting "caught" peeking in at a changing woman. Inevitably, the [[oxymoron|hot intergenerational sex]] must be cut short, because her husband is [[I Came|coming]] home. Anyone who has ever derived ANY arousal from MILF porn has a | |||
== | ==Gallery== | ||
< | {{Collapsegallery||Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5"> | ||
File:Maddie Fenton and Linda Flynn-Fletcher.jpg | |||
File:Maddie and Ann.PNG | |||
File:Ann incest.jpg | |||
File:Other Mother.jpg | |||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5"> | |||
File:Ann Possible.PNG | |||
File:Ann Inflation.jpg | |||
File:Maddie 2.png | |||
File:Maddie.PNG | |||
File:Maddie Time.png | |||
File:Margesimpson playboy.jpg | |||
Image:Patricia Heaton Bikini.jpg | |||
File:Romany Blythe.jpg | |||
Image:titcummilf.jpg|[[shotacon|She loves a young dick to tit fuck her]] | |||
Image:Sable.jpg|Two kids have come out of there. | |||
File:MS Paint Incest.png | |||
Image:Bigmilffaketits.jpg|A MILF getting cock, note the humongous fake knockers | |||
Image:Demimooremilf.jpg | |||
Image:Italian.JPG|[[Anal sex]], just like grandma made back in the [[Italy|old country]]. | Image:Italian.JPG|[[Anal sex]], just like grandma made back in the [[Italy|old country]]. | ||
Image:Catholic-virgin-mary-mother-of-god.jpg|You would - look at the hands! | Image:Catholic-virgin-mary-mother-of-god.jpg|You would - look at the hands! | ||
Image:MILF failbook.png | |||
Image:MILF failbook.png | Image:Maa_top.gif | ||
</gallery>}} | |||
Image: | |||
</gallery> | |||
== Famous MILFs == | == Famous MILFs == | ||
*[[Street Fighter|Crimson Viper]] | *[[Street Fighter 2|Crimson Viper]] | ||
*[[Sarah Palin]] | *[[Sarah Palin]] | ||
*[[Britney Spears]] | *[[Britney Spears]] | ||
*[[Doctor Who|Sarah Jane Smith]] | *[[Doctor Who|Sarah Jane Smith]] | ||
*[[Anna Nicole Smith]] | *[[Anna Nicole Smith]] | ||
*[[Michael Jackson]] | *[[Michael Jackson]] | ||
*[[Madonna]] | *[[Madonna]] | ||
*[[Eel girl]] | *[[Eel girl]] | ||
*[[The Simpsons|Marge Simpson]] | *[[The Simpsons|Marge Simpson]] | ||
*[[Chester Bennington]] | *[[Chester Bennington]] | ||
*[[Elliot Rodger|Li-Chin Rodger]] | |||
*[[Terri Schiavo]] | *[[Terri Schiavo]] | ||
*[[ | *[[Nigella Lawson]] | ||
*[[Goatse Girl|Jewlia Louis-Drypuss]] | *[[Goatse Girl|Jewlia Louis-Drypuss]] | ||
*[[Everybody Loves Raymond|Patricia Heaton]] | *[[Everybody Loves Raymond|Patricia Heaton]] | ||
*[[Nicole Richie]] | *[[Nicole Richie]] | ||
*[[Lindsey Roberts]] | *[[Lindsey Roberts]] | ||
*[[Verynicelady]], who is also a GMILF | *[[Verynicelady]], who is also a GMILF | ||
*[[Pamela Geller]], Another jew GMILF | |||
*[[ | |||
*[[Family Guy|Lois Griffin]] | *[[Family Guy|Lois Griffin]] | ||
*[[American Dad|Francine Smith]] | *[[American Dad|Francine Smith]] | ||
* | *The "Virgin" Mary | ||
*[[Undertale|Toriel]] | |||
* | |||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
| Line 79: | Line 70: | ||
*[[Old people]] | *[[Old people]] | ||
*[[Your mom]] | *[[Your mom]] | ||
{{language}} | |||
{{whores}} | |||
{{stub}} | {{stub}} | ||
[[Category:Epithets]][[Category: Sex]] | [[Category:Epithets]][[Category: Sex]] | ||
Latest revision as of 08:55, 1 November 2018
MILF (Mother I'd Like to Fuck) is a term popularized by quality American teen movies. By its very nature, the phrase MILF implies "older" or more "mature" women. Taken literally it can include teen mothers, 20somethings, 30somethings, and grandmothers. Typically it means a 35+ year old woman with large, (generally) fake breasts and lips built for beejay duty. BEWARE: Woman older than 45 years old may suffer Mad Cow Disease. The only requirements are that they are hot and a mother. Godwin's M.I.L.F. Law states that:
Dating a MILF
From time to time, you may get tired of the bullshitting and games of younger women that still have hopes and dreams that a rich man with an amazing six pack will sweep them off their feet and fuck them in the ass with a diamond dildo. (Editor's Note: This is the dream of all women, including the so-called "career driven" women) You are ready for the quiet desperation of a late thirty-something woman with fat tits and a loose vag that doesn't chafe your cock. In this case, you should totally try dating a MILF. As a young man, you will get away with plenty of things that a younger and prettier woman would totally throw your ass out for. They have no hang ups about giving head, and are more than likely to give you access to their ass.
In many cases, these women will be post menopausal, allowing you to slam their gaping axe wound without a condom, allowing you to feel the disturbingly pleasant warmth and squisheness of her stretched out vag. Sure dating a MILF may feel creepily like dating your mom, but hey, let's be honest here, you REALLY wanted to fuck your mom anyway. MILFs often try to supplement their failing looks with plastic surgery, so expect fake titties, a huge number of skin products, and a tan, leading to an overall look that is somehow arousing.
Breaking Up With a MILF
After you get bored of nailing MILF assholes and jumping every time her kid knocks on the door, you may realize that most MILFs are just as crazy and hysterical as all other women, plus they have kids you have to worry about and make nice with, even though they hate your guts. And you can only derive satisfaction from "Hey kid, I'm fucking your mommy!" so many times. At this point, it is time to shit in her fridge, steal her kid's iPod, and leave without so much as a note. MILFs take a break up just about as well as any other woman, which means they go into hyper-psycho-passive-aggressive bitch mode. A crafty MILF will use her children to leave tragic pleading messages on your phone, even though they are totally grateful you are gone. As MILFs are older women, often with disposable incomes, expect a more professional stalking, perhaps even with a car with tinted windows.
MILF Porn
A common fetish covered in pornography is MILF or "mature" sex. These women universally posess gigantic fake tits and can go from mildly hot to horrifying drippy old mummies. All of the MILF porn scenarios are two parts age regression and two parts incest fantasy. Mostly they involve some MILF fucking her "son's" friend, or a dude getting "caught" peeking in at a changing woman. Inevitably, the hot intergenerational sex must be cut short, because her husband is coming home. Anyone who has ever derived ANY arousal from MILF porn has a deep seated desire to make babies with their own mother. They are a sick fuck and should be accordingly shunned and ridiculed.
Gallery
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Two kids have come out of there. -
-
A MILF getting cock, note the humongous fake knockers -
-
Anal sex, just like grandma made back in the old country. -
You would - look at the hands! -
-
Famous MILFs
- Crimson Viper
- Sarah Palin
- Britney Spears
- Sarah Jane Smith
- Anna Nicole Smith
- Michael Jackson
- Madonna
- Eel girl
- Marge Simpson
- Chester Bennington
- Li-Chin Rodger
- Terri Schiavo
- Nigella Lawson
- Jewlia Louis-Drypuss
- Patricia Heaton
- Nicole Richie
- Lindsey Roberts
- Verynicelady, who is also a GMILF
- Pamela Geller, Another jew GMILF
- Lois Griffin
- Francine Smith
- The "Virgin" Mary
- Toriel
See Also
| MILF is part of a series on Language & Communication | |
|---|---|
Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry •
The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand |
|
|
MILF is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |