Emo: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 22:19, 8 November 2011

	“	Why do you keep calling us emo faggots?Faggot means gay,gay means happy and emo's aren't happy!!!	„
	—Emo girl's reaction to trolling

Emo aka "BAWWWWW" is a movement which is an attempt to make normal teenage angst cool (seriously, who tries to win a "my life sucks more than yours" contest?) While everyone around them is also suffering from hormones and High School, they try to convince everyone that their suffering is somehow original. To break away from their normal suffering, followers of emo apply heavy eye-liner, wear overly tight jeans, enjoy large cock (not that they ever get any, unless they got a granddad), dye their hair black (don't forget to skip the shower) and grow a long fringe to help warp their vision of the world. This vision causes the wearer to insult people who are actually depressed IRL by making a fad of feigning their own dire depression. Emo music consists of insane amounts of moaning about the greatness of being in emo style and the terror of not having hawt emo girl X want to fuck you. Some emo songs deviate slightly, encouraging male listeners to "Ahhh, c'mon, FUCK A GUY!"

Conclusive scientific evidence proves that emos are more hated than black person and Jews combined. And that says something. At concerts, emos stand in place and watch the band play with their arms crossed, tossing their hair out of their eyes and sucking on their stupid "snake bite" lip piercings and sucking other male emos penises.

They all suffer from severe narcissism, leading them to believe that they alone know what pain is, and that no one understands them, when in fact they are simply experiencing puberty; just like everyone else is. They all believe that their personal affliction could not be worse, that their life in their quiet suburban house with their own television and computer in their room is not just the worst life they could have, but the worst life anyone has had, ever. No one understands me!!!

Basically, an emo kid is a virgin twat who takes denial of his unattractiveness to a new extreme - instead of just manning up, playing sports, taking some social skills classes, etc, he turns walking around in Petsmart into personal pride. When a hot girl tells him to fuck off, instead of being pissed that he's not scoring, the average emofag is actually glad that he got rejected - since that must mean he's sensitive, more mature than other guys, or just special in general. Plus it provides him fodder for his rape fantasies.

If by some chance an emofag actually manages to get a date however, then he'll be pissed since he won't have any reason to bitch or play the victim that day.

The principle of emodom is "The more you bitch about no one liking you, the more no one will like you." Emos tend to cut themselves on the forearms just because it is the done thing for an emo. Unfortunately, emo's are the biggest pussies in the universe, so they just about never get it right. Alternatively, emo's declare small cuts gained from attempting to rape their cats as proof they are hardcore cutters. In reality, however, most are simply too pussy to even go near a razor, let alone cut themselves with it.

Emos get tremendous shit in Mexico, where members of other Mexican subcultures are prone to beating up emos for the sole reason that their whiny, conformist faggotry makes them justifiable targets. Heck, they make goths look like men in comparison. Yes, emos are THAT PATHETIC. Some say that goths are just emos that don't cry like babies. Though that is an over-exaggeration, most would have to agree faggoths have at least some credibility in comparison to these pretentious cunts.

Origins

They even have their own special car plates.

Emos (singular being Latin for "I buy") wear tight clothing due to the fact that they have sensitive, feminine skin passed down from their brother-dads and have a knack for bitching about that new car their rich dads DIDN'T get for them. They hide and want to be alone because they are too shy to contact anyone, which is partly contributed from the Jewish trait of Jew criticism. Also, they feel that their flaws are immediately visible from just their presence (another trait passed down from the Jews, who are very superficial people).

The emo is a crappy offshoot of goth, itself a crappy offshoot of punk,which is a crappy offshoot of metalhead, which is ~~inferior to prep.~~ HA HA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS

If an emo is or has either of the following, he or she will become more inclined to ending it all in a suicidal fashion:

They wish they had been physically abused in the past.
They are cruelly forced to take out the trash or do other hard physical labor.
They have been made fun of over the internets
They have been compared to a goth.
They've had their MySpace poetry criticized.
They say that no one understands them.
They've made out with someone of the same gender and swear up and down they're straight.
They've had their ipods stolen.
They have been secksually molested by their parents.
They cut themselves or do other self harm activities.
They want attention and have people feel sorry for them.

Git 'em young

In an interesting trend, young teenagers have begun adopting the emo mantra as their new Jesus, even though they will rarely cut themselves. They enjoy the thrill of straightening the straggly mop that rests atop their head and wearing tons of makeup to cover their pimple-ridden pubescent faces. They take black-and-white pictures of themselves and define themselves as "misunderstood" on their MySpace, Facebook, LiveJournal, Friendster or Bebo pages. Their usernames usually consist of serious descriptions of how they truly feel inside and are usually encased in a variety of symbols e.g. xXDarknessSurroundsXx, ^^)MyAngelCries(^^, X+LoveLikeFire+X. Many think that turning emo will instantly turn them hot.

The common path to emo generally follows these steps:

They have a happy cheerful Carebear MySpace profile up until they're 12.
One of their fat friends gets depressed and makes an emo MySpace.
12 year old friend sees this and goes OMG TAHTS SU KEWL!!11 and copies them.
They straighten their disgusting hair that they haven't washed in 3 months, put on a lot of makeup and take pictures.
Post with comments like "NOONE UNDERSTANDZ ME!!11 M I DESTIND 2 NEVR FYND LUV???"
After getting a ton of attention saying "aww hunny dont wory im here 4 u :)", they start complaining about EVERYTHING.
Become an hero.
????
PROFIT!

	“	i dont no any emos…! im the only 1 i no and i no every thing bout emo, i shud no… im so emo iv tryed 2 kill my self since i wuz 7	„
	—nic, please try harder

Current situation

The current incarnation of emo has basically replaced all other teenage culture (read gays and little/teenage girls who went crazy over the boybands) as the dominant one. The slightly faded "vintage" clothing and track suits are available at any mall and often displayed in tandem with the most mainstream wares. Because the accouterments and garb are very easy and cheap to obtain, it makes the style accessible to you. In earlier times emo was a generally male-dominated subculture with very few females observed at shows and events (mostly because all present looked like girls anyway). Now, however, due to the ease of obtainment of the requisite style items, many females have become involved in the subculture. Please see the gallery below for several illustrations of typical specimens. There may be no easily discernible differences between the standard teenager and someone involved in the emo scene.

Often, participants are referred to as "emo kids," "emofags," just "fags," or any combination of these. Rednecks often refer to the participants simply as "wrist-cuttin' hippies". Normal people often say that "emo" is short for "gay trannys that listen to bad music". Everyone else calls them "failures at life".

Emo kids are a common plague on sites such as MySpace, Facebook, Bebo and YouTube as these sites offer the perfect digital mediums for them to display their tormented souls to the world.

EmoTube

Previous Video | Next Video

stfu stfu STFU

The True Meaning of Being Emo

EXPAND FOR TRUE MEANING About missing Pics

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Emo over the ages

Emo has had a long history in many forms, from the early Beatniks (named after the constant beatings they would receive) to today's contemporary emo kids:

ERA:	EMO KIDS WERE:	DRUG OF CHOICE:
1790's-1820's	French Revolutionists	Execution by beheading, European conquest, overthrowing governments
1920's	Flappers	Shit, Dead Animals, Sweat, Reefers, Jazz
1930's	Everyone	Hooch, Cough Medicine, Codeine
1940's	Nazis	Hitler, White Pride, killing Jews
1950's	Beatniks	Poetry, Bongo Drums, Pot, USI
1960's	Hippies	Pot, Acid, Pot, Librium, Seconal, Pot, Napalm
1970's	Disco	Cocaine, Dexies, Bennies, Valium, Fags, Grass
1980's	New Romantics	Cocaine, Anal Sex, Herb
1990's	Grunge	Heroin, Ecstasy, Flannel, Starbucks Coffee, Prozac, Weed, Shotgun Mouthwash
2000's	Emos	Ritalin, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, NyQuil, Robitussin, Rispiridone, Weed, Penis (a lot of it)
2010's	Hipsters (or alternatively, 100% idiotic, pointless faggotry)	Indie music/film, thrift store clothing, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Irony, Michael Cera, Pitchfork Media

National Emo Kid Beatdown Day

Russia declares war!

File:Emo response.jpg

An emotive response to this page.

Shortly before Russia invaded South Ossetia, legislation was drafted that would end the cancer that is killing Russia once and for all. Butthurt emos across Russia protested with angsty and heartfelt slogans like "Kill the state in yourself" and "A totalitarian state encourages stupidity." Much to their chagrin, the emos' secret ties to the Nazis have been exposed by the Russian government.

MySpace emo kids

MySpace is the primary breeding ground of pure gay emo faggotry. It is not yet known why so many people devote so much time looking at pure shit. Studies have shown that Tom, the founder of MySpace has PEDO POWERS that cause all 16-year-old girls to sign up to his site. It is obvious that these sort of sites would appeal to emos, as it lets them bleat on about how miserable their pampered fucking suburban lives are and expect people to actually give a shit. Although nothing has yet been proven, preliminary results show that Tom emits a special type of gamma ray that makes gay emo fag girls horny. Another theory is that Tom is Adolf Hitler, and that using MySpace is similar to wearing the Jew identification badges Hitler used.

Recently, MySpace has lost its credibility with the emos, and they have since flocked over to EmoScene.com (plz troll). It is your duty to follow the emos to this new site and show them they are a sheep following a silly trend.

Common emo behavior

Crying because they fail at life.
Taking self portrait pictures.
Having hair that is significantly longer in front and stupidly dyed by your mom.
Cutting.
Crying.
Attending art school in hopes of being someone important.
Wearing pants that are TOO fucking tight.
Threatening to become an hero but usually never following through.
Writing trite poetry about misery and gloom.
Reading poetry in the first place.
Constantly on myspace.
Getting lip piercings.
Crying.
Getting themselves beaten up by everyone in school
Using ".!" instead of just "." when typing.!
Joining depressing or 'love' groups on Facebook.
Getting condoms and placing it over the wrong head in order to receive attention.
Bragging about how miserable and unfair their life is.
Diagnosing themselves with Asperger's syndrome. And ~~probably~~ definitely being right.
Crying
Getting eating disorders and bragging about it.
Posting at The Cave of Dragonflies.
Crying
Ruining every user-contributor-based website ever.
Piercing every part of their face, and probobly their dick, but Nobody wants to see that.
Taking themselves more seriously than Wikipedia.
Over exaggerating their 'emotions' for sympathy/attention
Insulting people who suffer from depression by trivializing and over-exaggerating what they've "gone through". This typically consists of a lengthy, self-centered rant about one's computer crashing, after which the individual loses all their hard-earned 'music'.
Stealing just about every Weaboo cliques, like anime and J-rock, and just about every shit clique from the 80s and 90s. Of course, they're doing absolutely all wrong.
Taking it up the ass.
Asking for ass whooping
Did we mention crying?
Indoctrinating black person into 'nemos' (Nigger emos).
Getting the shit beat out of them and loving it.
Also, they tend to cry a lot
They Go On Scrollbelow.com for fun and pleasure - submitted by Wikedkoooool
They have emo screenames/usernames such as Xx-Shitty username here-xX
They list all their favorite bands which are emo in a bio or about me box in a website.
Telling the world that their life is miserable and they cut themselves to feel better.
Denying their emo.
Covering their hair with their freakishly long bangs.
Applying eyeliner that makes them look like a raccoon.
Did we mention that they cry?

Common Clothing of an Emo:

Black clothing (which confuses many people with goths)
Thick heavy eyeliner that makes them look like raccoons(especially on gay emo's, too)
Hair over eyes to hide "pain"
Wristbands to cover up cuts from being a Fail at life.
Black Nail Polish
screamo band tshirt to be a "pure emo"
Hello Kitty,Invader Zim and Domo accessories
Anything from Hot Topic
Pants that are WAY too fucking tight.

Please refer to the Ofishul Emo Code for a complete list of rulez you must follow to be a true emo.

Gallery

Gallery of Emo About missing Pics

She is for real girls
A sexually frustrated emo.
Pikachu loves me, I knows it.
Every emo picture evar.

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DO IT FAGGOT
Typical emo response on DevianTART
Typical Emo YouTube Profile.
Typical emo chick guy faggot

Typical emo ~~chick~~ ~~guy~~ faggot
Emo kids like to look threatening while listening to their iPods.

Emo kids like to look threatening while listening to their iPods.
Hitler was emo too.
Even Pooh gets tired of emos.
Dubya has emo moments.
An emo will pride itself on ridiculous hair.
She likes to scissor!
Sweet blood splattered photoshop brush, Batman!
The typical emo hot topic lolita outfit
What every larval emo has on their MySpace.
Silly emo, love isn't real, you said so yourself!

Silly emo, love isn't real, you said so yourself!
An emo in its larval stage.
Curing Emocephalitis.
Emo: goth for pussies.
Note the fringe.
The War on Emo: Pick a side...we're at war!
IS IT A VAGINA OR PENIS??

IS IT A VAGINA OR PENIS??
My life is, like, this big black abyss.
Fat emo vandal. Note the heavy use of Photoshop filters.
Emo enough?
Taking the emo hairdo to the extreme.
A Typical emo - eyeliner, fringe, looking ~~depressed~~ retarded.
Some emus are also emo.
It's often hard to tell the difference between Male and Female emos.
DeviantART-type account.
An emo's response to this page. It quickly got reverted and he is now blocked. Notice how every word is capitalized and the misspellings.
He's at it again, this time less detectable but still as stupid with more misspelled words. Large sections of this page were missing.
A typical emo boy suffering a fit of OMG angst, see self injury.
A typical emo bitch.
This is a girl trying to be a guy.
Common Emo advertising.
File:Emo-Big-Robo.jpg
And you thought Farrah hair had gone out of style
Typical emo female (AKA "douchette") Dykepals
Emo girl cut her vagina.
SRSLY... ?
wow, can you even see through those things???
You're doin it wrong!
How emo fags masturbate.
...At least he thinks he's sexy.
Bean is just a little more depressed "then" others.
They once were twins till along came emo...
Bitch Don't Care Either....
Old meme.
So Dark and Moody
How it's done.
An example of an emo shirt from the shit ass emo movie A Nightmare Before Christmas.
Wild Emo appears!
This is how the emo before will be in 15 years.
Where's Waldo version.
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Furemo.Kill it with fire not blades
True Emo.
A Typical Emo Band.
Their very own cereal!
A safe alternative to cutting.
An emo in denial about homosexuality.
Emo gang.
YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.
Common emo ritual.
Emo kids are sometimes as fat as they are gay.
The same kid as before, only contemplating why he'll die a virgin. Notice the all fat? The chin count is around 4.
S0 h4rdc0r3!
All Emos enjoy cutting as they are worthless.
This Emo is also a wiccan.
ZOMG PIME TARADOX.
Evidentially teh emo fags cry green.
Slightly wigger in other pictures, this clown has furfag fetishes with a slight twist of emo. To fufill these addictions, it preys on MySpace by flooding pictures of itself, whoring for comments.
A goth teaches an emo how to seppuku.
Hooray for Darwin!
Those damn azns...
Moar emo bulletins?
Even the furries are getting emo!
Hardcore Emo.
Vegetables are emo too.
Cut in the wrong fucking place.
All emos are the same.
Yes, emos can be black too.
h4x0r3d.
h4x0r3d.
sometimes an emo needs a good beating.
12 year olds like pretending to be emo.
See?
Donald Duck is emo.
Emos have taken the Weaboo's
Jesus died 4 ur sinz.
It's new and its emo!! And it's only $3,000,000,000,000!!!!!!
I add black to my pictures to like, symbolize how dark my life is.
This is a emo!
Emos are huge ass camwhores.
They have a whole town of these fuckers in Ireland
A plea for attention
Black Metal fans aren't that different, really.
It is a well known fact that fags and emos HAET each other.
This is what an emo with Assburgers looks like. WHAT IS IT?!
Typical Flickr user probably qualifies as an Emo.
BAWWW IM SAD
If I take it in the dark and take the photo at an angle, it might hide my quadruple chin!
How quaint
Trolling emos on YouTube is easy.
... Especially when they are unaware.
YouTube emo figures out Google.
When emos use MS Paint
A rare species of Emos
we are humans too!

we are humans too!
What most female emos look like..Wait! What? That's a girl?

What most female emos look like..Wait! What? That's a girl?
Typical emo kid. Notice the bright hair for further attention whoring.

Typical emo kid. Notice the bright hair for further attention whoring.
An alternate solution to the emo problem.

An alternate solution to the emo problem.