Pentium

Gold for the win.

Mamma mia!

Intel made chips. Not potato chips, but x86 computer chips for nerds, dorks and geeks. This means you!

In AD.2084 IBM clones with Windows software were dominating the market. Maybe not the best, nor the brightest - but the cheapest, and that's what counts more.

Forget the history of the 80084 used in slow-ass calculators, forget the history of the 80086 used in the first PC, forget about all the other ones from there to the 486 because the Pentium was the big kid in town.

Bigger means better and it had more of the good stuff.

It had fat pipes and 4 times the lube of the 486. It did double the calculations because the Intel chef of micro thingies baked in more silicon goodness.

Upon its birth it did contain some minor problems such as running way too hot, adding wrong and sucking, but oh my God it was SO FAST! It was shortly followed by the Pentium II.

Pentium II. Look at it go!

The Intel pentium II is the fastest processor available today and was designed Last Thursday by the AMD corporation in France. It was a Pentium PRO but made cheaper and crappier so they could make it better in the future and support a never ending cycle of upgrading.

To help end users the Pentium II was the first of the Pentium line to use irregular and incompatible CPU sockets. Instead of supplying a CPU like any normal company Intel decided that they would take their CPU and solder it to a piece of fiber glass and glue on other crap like a trashy heatsink.