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Disease

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A wax nose, a pair of sunglasses, and a santa beard: then the little fella's ready to hit the town![1]
A young man lecturing a dame on the dangers of disease.

Disease is, per the intarweb dicshunary: A pathological condition of a body part, an organ, or a system resulting from various causes, such as infection, genetic defect, or environmental stress, and characterized by an identifiable group of signs or symptoms. But really, what is disease? Why, is it one of the few sources of attention and pity in the quantities needed by attention whores to live. As a result of this, both IRL and internet attention whores are prone to feigning illness. Especially pretending to have illnesses and diseases that people around them have.

Thought Process

They see that their diseased friends get a lot of attention and pity, and when most of their self-loathing entries and threats of suicide start to get a response of TL;DR, they are prone to coming up with some disease, again commonly one someone on their friends list has (the really insane ones will all of a sudden claim to have multiple, conflicting diseases at the same time), and claiming that they have it. This will go on for several days.

The Lie Grows

MFW no-one on the internet claims to have my disease

Eventually they may claim to have seen a doctor who "informed" them that they had exactly what they'd been saying they had. They will act shocked and surprised. If this fails, they may escalate to self injury and more realistic threats of suicide. Sometimes, if you're really lucky, they actually mean it. If you're even luckier, there won't be any dipshits with internet crushes on them who feel the urge to reply to every one of their entries.

Around this period, expect friends of the disease whore in question to have conversations that consist of statements such as:

  • Her delusions are beginning to become the stuff of comedy gold.
  • This is the worst performance of MPD I've seen since Sybil.

The Symptoms of a Disease

  • Foul smelling blood
  • Tight throat
  • Double vision
  • Skin falling off
  • A persistent cough
  • Manic depression
  • Calcification of the extremities
  • Aversion to paper
  • Multicystic Retroperitonial Sacrococcygeous Embryo-Teratoma
  • Steven Spielberg

And Fades Away

Especially in the case of made-up diseases, attention whores tend to forget the lies they were telling for attention. A disease requires lots of Google to keep up with answering questions people may have, that's a lot of work. Invariably, though, there are enablers. Be prepared for fun and excitement!

Common Diseases to Pretend to Have

Missing Penis Syndrome

Penile (re)construction

Otherwise known as being a woman.

Common Diseases to Actually Have

See Also

External Links


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Disease is part of a series on Body and Health
Body Parts:

Ass • Asshole • Balls • Bodybuilding • Boobs • Brain • Cameltoe • Clitoris • Cock • Cum • Fat • Finger Box • Gunt • Hand of Clod • Hand of Dios • Iron penis • Mangina • Moobs • Neckbeard • Piss • Pussy • Shit • Skeleton • Vagoo

Diseases and Illnesses:

Acne • Addiction • AIDS • Alzheimer's • Being a Ginger • Cancer (and The Cancer That Is Killing /b/) • Comcast disease • COVID-19 • Diabeetus • Disease • DSM • Duckface • Dwarfism • Ebola • Epilepsy • Erectile dysfunction • ETD • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome • Fibromyalgia • Genital Herpes • GOTIS • GRIDS (see also The GRIDS that is killing ED) • Heart Attack • Hyperbolimia • IRC Disease • Monkeypox • Obesity • Pandemic • Parkinson's Disease • Same Face Syndrome • SARS • Sexually Transmitted Diseases • Swine Flu • Thin Skin • User Stress Syndrome • Virus • Vomiting • Wikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Injuries:

1guy1jar • BME • Circumcision • Castration • Death • Emo Cutter Girl • Eunuch Archive • Guro • Hangover • Headshot • LJ cut • Lobotomy • Pain Series • Pregnancy • Rectal foreign body • Self-injury • Suicide • Tattoos • Trepanation


Disease
is part of a series on

Life

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Disease is part of a series on Diseases and Disorders
Diseases:

AIDS • Cancer • Coronavirus • Diabeetus • Dwarfism • Monkeypox • Erectile dysfunction • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome • Fibromyalgia • Genital Herpes • GRIDS • Obesity • Parkinson's Disease • Sexually Transmitted Diseases • Swine Flu

Disorders:

Agoraphobia • Anorexia • Antisocial personality disorder • Anthropophobia • Asperger's Syndrome • Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder • Bipolar disorder • Body dysmorphic disorder • Borderline personality disorder • Bug Chasers • Carmen Electra complex • Christianity • Chronic Troll Syndrome • Depression • Dyslexia • Eating disorders • Ebola virus • Epilepsy • Fauxlimia • Gender dysphoria • Histrionic personality disorder • Heterophilia • Homophilia • Inconsistent personality disorder • Insanity • Mental retardation • Multiple personality disorder • Narcissistic personality disorder • Obsessive-compulsive disorder • Paranoia • Paranoid personality disorder • Paraphilias • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder • Prader-Willi Syndrome • Psychopathy • Pyromania • Schizophrenia • Seasonal Affective Disorder • Special Snowflake Syndrome • Victim complex

Internet Diseases and Disorders:

Internet disease (see also Internet Disease Chart) • Internet troll personality disorder • The Cancer That Is Killing /b/ • The GRIDS that is killing ED

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