Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Killer Titties

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
File:Emily bloom 6789.jpg
These sweater puppies are deadly

Killer Titties, better known as breast cancer, is the second most common cancer in Wimmins following skin cancer because their arrogance and egotistical life styles that include tanning, wearing wonder bras and baby powdering their snatch to hide the smell, in their early years, just so that they can convince themselves that they are attractive enough to get a man leads to their bodies shutting down or attacking them for these and all the other shit that they put it through in their quest to trick a man into marriage..

Think that being an over-weight Dyke will lead to your salvation? Think again chubby because in the greater scheme of things, G-D hates fat chicks and the chances of you tits getting pissed of and killing you one day Just Because you're a fat cow goes up the fatter you get.

If you are female, the best thing you can do is start putting out now because no one will want you when you're 40 and have been chopped and scarred from having your friendly pair of assassins removed.

Causes

File:Kate Rose 56789.jpg
File:Awesometits 564.jpg

Genetics You get to blame your mom and dad on this one sweatheart.

Not Enough Stimulation Arousal causes healthy blood flow throughout the breast and the caress and gentle squeezes of a male's hand along with titty tucks and motor boats have all the same positive benefits to the breast as a man having sex to completion has to his prostate. Want to avoid a killer tit, get felt up a lot.

Bad Hygiene As everyone knows, cancer is a virus and can be passed from person to person, obviously, the dirtier you are the easier it is to get. So wash those hands if you don't want your tits attacking you.

Hormone Therapy It's a simple fact, if you put something into your body that shouldn't be there, then something bad is going to happen. wanna-be girl-boys may have a more than 500% of contracting breast cancer as compared to normal, real women because estrogen stimulates breast cell growth and like a real fear in puberty, as your tits are growing the chances for tumors rise exponentially.

Processed foods See hormone therapy because McDonalds is doing the same exact thing to the cow meat your eating.

Myths

There is a lot of misinformation out there such as genetics can cause breast cancer but we here at ED want to help you by teaching the truth and avoiding this horrible disease.

Drinking Milk Causes Breast Cancer: Fact There are many hormones and chemicals being injected into to it to either cause it to produce more milk, keep it from getting I'll or keep it in a decent mood. As one can deduce, this cocktail of chemicals is not healthy and should be avoided. It is better, anyways, for your body to receive vitamin D and calcium from supliments.

Men Can Get Breast Cancer True G-D has chosen the Male form as his favorite sex. If you are Male and think you have breast cancer then you're a sissy ass bitch with a small dick. Yes, there is a corelation. Men with small dicks are the only makes that get breast csncer. If you're like us here at ED and hanging 9 inches or better, you have no worries.

Bras Cause Cancer True Bec as use of the confining nature of a bra, blood flow is restricted to parts of the breast. Over time, this leads to damage to the blood flow to certain parts of the breast stopping imuno-functions like white blood cells from reaching these areas. Over time, the cancer virus takes hold, the breast is infected and you're getting a tit chopped off.

Thin Girls Don't Get Breast Cancer True Think about it, is fat good for your liver? Heart? Arteries? No! It's not good for your fun bags either because as you get fatter your tits start to hang putting stress on the blood supply and causing the same harm as bras.

Diet Can Prevent Breast Cancer False Just give in now and eat that ice-cream

Breast Cancer In The UK

As nearly 1,000 people die every day in the UK from breast cancer due to failings in prevention, diagnosis and failure to treat or poor treatment, chances are, if you get a killer titty in the United Kingdom there is a good chance you will die. Because of the beurocratic system of their socialized health care women fall through the gaps, medications are rated on cost versus survivability and some are so expensive that the average taxpayer can't afford them.

So if you're a British citizen with a titty that's trying to kill you, bugger the fuck up and die - because that's what the crown wants.


File:85251623-breast-self-examination-icon-set-breast-cancer-monthly-exam-infographics-symptoms-of-mammary-tumor-c.jpg



Killer Titties

See also

Killer Titties is part of a series on

SCIENCE!

[FizzlePop]


Killer Titties
is part of a series on

Life

[BRB HugboxGo Live One]